And So it Begins...

[The cast sits around the writer's table with AG and MM following reading Phantom. The room is completely silent. MR picks at his teeth. AM sits with her head in her hands. AoT flips through the script. KK smiles radiantly]
AG: No re-action?
KK: I like it.
AoT: Is there really only one Martha scene?
MM: You all love it right?
KK: Yes. Actually I think I love it.
JG: [Devastated] Lionel is... good?
KK: Who cares. Lana is dead!
JG: At least somebody has something to be happy about.
ED: Lana turns against Lex and he kills her? Nobody saw that coming, did they?
AM: Is Chloe dead or is she alive?
MR: Oh, she's dead.
AM: Shut up, Micheal.
MR: And she's still pining after Clark.
AM: Shut up, Micheal!
TW: Why is Clark kissing a married woman?
MM: You didn't read the script? She's leaving Lex.
AG: It's a verrrrrrry grey area.
TW: Superman shouldn't be grey.
ED: So does that mean it was OK for Lois in Jimmy's dream to kiss Lex since he was leaving Lana?
KK: Why was that scene in the barn anyway?
AG: Lois was a stand in for Clark since homosexuality wasn't nearly as acceptable in the '40s.
MR: Lex was supposed to leave Lana for Clark?
MM: Sure.
ED: This makes my head hurt.
AM: Why does Chloe's power have to kill her?
MM: Clark's greatest power is to hurt Lana. Chloe's greatest power is to hurt herself.
AM: You two are assholes.
JG: I thought Lionel was supposed to get out at the end of this season. Instead you get Martha out?
AoT: I'm out?
MM: You're out, Annette.
AoT: Why am I out?
AG: We couldn't fit Martha into a love triangle.
MM: Clark, Lionel, Martha is too...
AG: Incestuous.
MM: Lionel, Martha, Jimmy is too...
AG: Squicky.
AM: Jimmy is Chloe's boyfriend.
MM: Right! What about a Martha, Jimmy, Chloe triangle!
AM: What?!
AG: Chloe could lose in love again!
ED: Martha Kent and Jimmy?
AoT: I could deal with that!
ED: Ew.
AM: So Chloe isn't dead?
MM: Oh. I knew there was a reason we couldn't do the Martha, Jimmy, Chloe triangle.
AM: So Chloe is dead?
ED: Lois should be able to save Chloe.
JG: And not Lionel.
AoT: Yeah. I still want to be on the show. Kill of Lionel and keep Martha.
KK: Really? Why?
AoT: Shut up!
AG: [to MM] So can we kill off Lionel and keep Martha?
JG: Please kill off Lionel and keep Martha?
MM: I don't know.
JG: Lionel is good now. He's practically worthless! Kill him off.
AG: Martha's in Washington. I don't see being able to keep her as a regular character.
TW: Shouldn't flying to Smallville from Washington take about as long as driving from Metropolis?
KK: It's probably quicker, actually.
TW: Chloe drives back and forth everyday.
ED: And she's a reagular cast character.
AM: Is she?
MR: Used to be.
AM: Shut up!
AoT: Martha could do that, fly back and forth.
ED: Would that be a waste of government money?
AG: Alright. We'll think about offing Lionel and keeping Martha.
JG & AoT: Yes!
KK: And offing Lana.
MM: Offing Lana? Who said anything about offing Lana?
KK: She blew up.
MR: Chloe blew up in a season finale. She didn't die.
KK: Shut up, Micheal.
MR: In fact she came out without a scratch.
KK: Shut up, Micheal! Lana should be dead.
AG: I don't know.
AM: And Chloe should be alive.
MM: I really don't know.
AG: Maybe as long as Lois is around we could deep six Lana.
MM: What? You're talking crazy.
KK: Crazy like a fox!
AG: Just think about it.
MM: I have and I don't like it.
AM: What about Chloe!?!?
AG: What about Chloe?
AM: Is she alive or dead?
MM: Who cares? Now about Lana...
AM: [Gets up and runs out of the room screaming] Arrrrrgggg!!!!
AG: What's with her?
MM: I don't know. Anyway, I'll think about letting Lana die.
KK: Yes!
MM: On one condition.
KK: What?
MM: You do a nude autopsy scene.
KK: What!?!?
AG: Excellent. If you do a nude autopsy scene in the premier we'll let Lana die.
MM: And then appear in a lesbian zombie episode.
AG: Yes. Two appearences. A nude autopsy scene and then a lesbian zombie episode and then Lana can die.
KK: [Gets up and runs out of the room screaming] Arrrrrgggg!!!!
AG: What's with her?
MM: I don't know.

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