JG & AM meet for lunch

JG: [to the waiter] ..and if the vinaigrette isn't on the side so help me they'll find you in a dumpster next week!
Waiter: Yes sir.
AM: I'm so glad we had a chance to get together!
JG: Feeling is mutual. How's Michael?
AM: You know Michael and I don't...
JG: Surely you've heard through the rest of the cast.
AM: The rest of the cast and I don't...
JG: Don't what?
[The waiter serves each of them a bowl of soup]
AM: I'm a bit of a pariah ever since the "Dallas" thing.
JG: Oh, that. Well if I can forgive you I'm sure everyone else can.
AM: You forgave me because you got written off the show.
JG: Right.
AM: So what are you saying? Everyone else will forgive me once they've been written off the show?
JG: Sure. Why not? Or at least the ones who want off the show. I mean Kristen is talking to you, right?
AM: The ice has thawed a bit since she found out Lana was going to die.
JG: See! Things will work out.
AM: Tom doesn't want written off the show.
JG: Screw Tom! Writing him off the show would be the best thing they could do.
AM: He's the star.
JG: He's bringing everyone else down. [Tastes his soup] Dammit, man! This soup is stone cold!
Waiter: It's gazpacho, sir.
JG: It's cold is what it is!
AM: John, gazpacho is supposed to be cold.
JG: Oh. [To the waiter] Take it away. I don't want it.
AM: So, John, with all your new found freedom what do you have on tap following the Drowsy ... whatever?
JG: The Drowsy Chaperone, Allison, the Drowsy Chaperone.
AM: Whatever.
JG: I'm hitting the big time!
AM: Broadway?
[Their salads arrive. JG inspects his carefully before for drizzling it with dressing]
JG: [irritated] No. Not the big time. Just the big time.
AM: Hollywood?
JG: Honestly, Allison, are you just trying to bring me down here?
AM: No.
JG: Situation comedy.
AM: Oh. That big time.
JG: Don't mock.
AM: You know we're going to miss you.
JG: Yeah. Could we get through lunch without blubbering all over me?
AM: [Looks down at her phone] Oh crap!
JG: What is it?
AM: Al.
JG: Al? What's he calling you for?
AM: I don't know. [Turns off her ringer] Maybe it's good you've found something else after all.
JG: It's going to be on CBS, that Father Knows Best remake Erica tried out for last year.
AM: Oh. So they're going to do that show after all?
JG: It was on ice for a while but they need something to follow that piece of crap Charlie Sheen is on.
AM: I knew it! Erica is going to be leaving us after all! The two timing little...
JG: Why do you say that?
AM: Wasn't that her show?
JG: Well it's my show now.
AM: I thought they were in contract negotiation before things fell through.
JG: Things fell through when they heard Smallville was on for season seven. They've got someone else for the wacky neighbor.
AM: So Erica didn't get it.
JG: No. They gave it to this other really cute little girl. She was on the CW too, I believe? Poor thing's show got cancelled. I think it would have gone to Erica otherwise.
AM: The traitor.
JG: The girls looks a lot like you actually.
AM: [Pause] Not Kristen Bell?
JG: Eh, maybe. Had a detective show or something. Real sweetheart. You know her?
AM: Kristen Bell is going to be on CBS?!?
JG: Yeah. Lucky break.
AM: Now everybody is going to mistake me for her, dammit!
JG: What are you talking about?
AM: It was bad enough when she was on some back water network on a show with half as many viewers as Smallville. But now...
JG: Allison, do you have something personal against this Gong girl?
AM: No. And it's Bell, not Gong.
JG: Right. She doesn't look Asian.
AM: That would be Wong, John, Wong.
JG: Right. So it's Kristen Wong.
AM: No! Bell. Kristen Bell!
JG: You wouldn't think that would be hard to remember. Why are you so upset?
AM: It's just... and Erica!
JG: Erica what?
AM: After all I did for her!
JG: What did you do for Erica?
AM: She doesn't deserve to be on Smallville!
JG: None of us deserve it. It's a shame she wasn't able to get out like I did. But that's life. Not everyone can be as lucky as me.
AM: Now there's an idea...
JG: [Concerned] Allison... there's that look again.
AM: What look?
JG: Trouble.
AM: Don't worry, John. It doesn't involve you.
JG: I've heard that before.
AM: Seriously, don't worry.
JG: Allison, whatever you're planning maybe you should think it through first!
AM: [She tosses a few bills on the table as she gets up] Thanks for meeting me, John. You've been a great help! [rushes off]
JG: Allison! Wait! [Looks at the money AM left on the table] Was she really going to tip that buffoon that much?!!? [Surreptitiously pulls a few bills off the table and puts them in his pocket. Then raises his hand] Check please!

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