AM is up to something

[AM on the phone in her trailer]
AM: Look, I'm not asking you to actually hire her. Just make it look like you're still interested!
AM: Since when has anyone in the entertainment industry had ethics?
AM: Sure I've have plenty of bosses other than them!
AM: And they... well... OK, what's the point again?
AM: I'm begging you! Ethics is a small price to pay for someone's sanity isn't it?
AM: Soul, ethics, whatever. You know what I mean...
[AM sees ED approaching through the window]
AM: Look, I gotta go. Seriously, consider it, OK? [She motions ED in]
ED: So, um, is this going to be a lecture about what a traitor I am?
AM: No. Not at all. [Holds up a plate] Brownie?
ED: No thanks.
AM: [Takes one herself] Your loss. [munches away]
ED: So if you didn't call me over here to bitch me out for the umteenth time why am I here?
AM: I'm been doing a lot of reflecting recently. Trying to improve myself.
ED: Yeah, I've been reading your blog.
AM: You like it?
ED: It's not going to get you into the FHM top 20 but if you like thinking it's nice.
AM: Anyway, like I said I've been doing a lot of reflecting and have decided it was wrong to treat you the way I did.
ED: Did you know I beat out Christina Aguilera two years in a row?
AM: Are you listening to me?!?!
ED: You've got to be pretty hot to beat her out, right?
AM: Erica...
ED: If fact, according to that list I am the sexist Lois Lane!
AM: I'm trying to apologize here!
ED: [Stunned] Really?
AM: Absolutely. And the more I think about it the more I think you had good reason to try out for those other shows.
ED: Well thanks.
AM: In fact... with the direction they've taken Lois if I were you I'd use the fact I had another offer to my advantage.
ED: What do you mean the direction they took Lois?
AM: The whole tabloid reporter thing. It's really a slap in the face for you, your character, and your fans.
ED: At least they didn't turn Lois into a meteor freak.
AM: It's meteor infected!
ED: Right.
AM: And you know? I'm sure I can get over that somehow. Who I'm concerned about right now is you.
ED: Are you OK Allison? Did Michael bring in those brownies?
AM: I baked them myself. Where were we? Yes. Who knows what they have planned for next year.
ED: They said Lois would wind up at the Planet.
AM: Sure. But you know Al and Miles. They might mean she winds up at the planet as a janitor.
ED: As a janitor? Why would they do that?
AM: Because they think it's funny.
ED: Could we get Carol Burnett to co-star?
AM: Wha?
ED: Didn't Carol start out as a cleaning lady and end up being a big star? It could work the same way with Lois.
AM: No. She wasn't a cleaning lady. It was a role she played. She won an emmy for it.
ED: Ah. So janitor could be Lois' under cover persona at the Planet. The story it allows her to tell wins her a Pulitzer!
AM: No.
ED: That would be funny.
AM: [Sigh] No. It would be tragic. Besides, they don't care about Lois' development.
ED: Sure they do.
AM: Lois winning a Pulitzer on this show is as likely as...
ED: As likely as Lois almost getting hit by a flying barn door?
AM: No.
ED: As likely as Lex's superhuman prototype just happening to be her first kiss?
AM: No.
ED: As likely as...
AM: Stop!
ED: Jeez, you're testy. Maybe Michael does need to bring you some brownies.
AM: Erica, is that how you want Lois to be remembered? Toting a mop around?
ED: Well, it's not very sexy...
AM: Exactly!
ED: ... unless she was in a french maid outfit.
AM: Erica!
ED: Now you're going to bitch me out again, aren't you?
AM: [Deep breath] No. I'm just trying to tell you Al & Miles don't have Lois' best interest at heart.
ED: Sure they do.
AM: How confident are you about that?
ED: Pretty confident?
[Silence]
ED: Somewhat confident?
[Silence]
ED: Not very confident?
AM: The truth of the matter is you can't count on them.
ED: You're the one who wanted them back.
AM: Don't interrupt.
ED: Whatever.
AM: You still have an offer from that other show, right? The wacky neighbor thing?
ED: Sure, I guess.
AM: What you need to do is...
ED: But they probably already gave the role to someone else by now.
AM: Don't be ridiculous!
ED: I told them I wasn't going to leave Smallville and to find someone else. They said they would.
AM: Come on, Erica, how are they going to replace you?
ED: [blushes] Oh.. Still I don't want to leave the show.
AM: You're not going to leave the show! You're just going to... Look, do you want Lois to like an idiot?
ED: No, of course not.
AM: Then this is what you have to do...

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