7.13 Exit by MR and AoT (Part VI)

As retold by Bill C

MR: Bittleman. "We need to get out of here now, Lois--the police are going to be here any minute, and God only knows what's going to happen when they show up."
ED: Lois thinks for a minute.
JG: Or ten.
ED: Shh! Then she finally says, "This looks like a job for--"
KK: Superman?
ED: "--my dad."
KK: Damn.
ED: Lois whips out her cellphone again. "We need to contact my father. But we need evidence first. Nobody is going to believe that we just saw Space Cujo there without at least a picture!" Okay, it's not really a dog, right?
MR: Not even close, but that's okay. "Assuming we survive this, sure...take the damn picture and let's get the hell out of here!"
AoT: Thug #2 walks up to Hasaad--keeping him between himself and Space Cujo. "Uh...sir? The regional power grid appears to be stabilizing somewhat...it may be getting reinforced by another grid."
MR: Hasaad shrugs. "No matter. The portal is almost ready--once it's fully open, power won't be an issue."
AoT: This is where Lois flips open her cellphone to take a picture--and notices she's getting a signal again.
KK: No shots of power being restored?
AoT: We can't afford them. Instead of taking a picture, Lois rapidly dials a number; we then cut to a telephone ringing on someone's desk. A hand reaches into the shot and picks up the handset. John, would you mind?
JG: Yes, but okay. "Lane."
ED: Back to Lois. "Dad? Dad? It's Lois."
JG: Back to the office, and to the head of General Sam Lane. "Lois? It's good to hear from you, honey...but why are you whispering?"
ED: "Well...Dad, something's going on. I need you to send some troops to Metropolis."
JG: "I see. And you need troops there why?"
ED: "Dad, there's...there's a group of criminals here that's opening some kind of portal. To another planet."
JG: "Another...planet. Lois, it's December--not April--and it's too late in the day to be pulling a fast one on your father."
ED: "I'm not! I'm watching them open this portal right now! That's why I'm whispering!"
JG: Sam looks suitably skeptical, I suppose. "All right, Lois. If you can get me some proof of this--"
ED: "Hang on, I'm sending you a picture." Lois carefully aims her cameraphone at the portal and takes a snapshot, complete with dubbed-in camera noise. "Okay, tell me you got that."
JG: Sam looks at the receiver part of his phone, which has an LCD display built-in--oh, that's nice. And he sees a blurry image of the portal, Hasaad, some goons, and the armored thing. "I got it, Lois...what is that thing?"
ED: "That's the portal, Dad. I already called the police here, but I think this is out of their league."
JG: "I can't really make out the thing in the middle--"
ED: "That's an honest-to-God alien, Dad. I am not making this up...but it's not like E.T. It's like some reject from a Ridley Scott movie!"
JG: Sam frowns. "Lois, where exactly are you?"
ED: "Hold on, Dad, I'm going to get closer and get a better shot--"
MR: Bittleman necessarily objects. "Are you out of your mind?"
ED: "Dammit, Ted, we need more evidence!" And Lois carefully begins to sneak closer to the portal, using crates as cover.
AoT: Meanwhile, we cut outside to the street leading up to the warehouse. A police car cruises up and comes to a stop about half a block away, a lone officer gets out, and walks a few yards closer to the building--where she sees more goons patrolling the perimeter of it with weapons. She runs back to her car and radios for assistance, like a SWAT team or two.
KK: I was wondering when you'd get around to that.
AoT: Let's just say that the budget basically goes to hell from this point forward. So we jump back inside the warehouse, where Lois has managed to get fairly close to the right side of the portal itself. She aims her cameraphone again and takes a picture--and at the faint camera noise Space Cujo whips its head around and looks right at her.
TW: Unavoidable cliche, I'm guessing...
MR: It was either that or the old Lois-knocks-something-over gag.
ED: Lois freaks a little when she gets made by the thing.
JG: Girl, you'll be a Scooby Snack soon.
ED: That's wrong, John.
AoT: Space Cujo growls again, and wire-fu leaps--all the way from the portal over to land on the crate Lois is hiding behind. Lois--and Bittleman who of course followed her--both fall backwards as it hisses at them. Hasaad looks over in that direction, then gestures for some nearby armed goons to go over there.
ED: Lois--defiantly, oh I love that word!...
KK: Mainly because it's not used that often with Lois.
ED: ...brings up the cameraphone and takes one more picture of Space Cujo. She then puts the phone back up to her ear. "Dad? I think I'm going to have to call you back..."
AoT: Sam, meanwhile, looks at the last picture--a closeup of Space Cujo, all fangs and armor--and then hears the phone disconnect. "Lois? Lois!" He hangs up the phone, then picks up the handset again and dials a number. "This is General Lane. Mobilize Twelfth Cav. We're going to Metropolis!"
MR: And we jump back to the small-stores street we saw earlier. Clark super-speeds into the center of the shot, looking around, and then he stops as if hearing something. We go into super-hearing echo mode, where we hear what sounds like electrical tinkering.
KK: Oh, lord. [laughs] Showdown at Radio Shack!
MR: Cut back to Zod, now sitting in the middle of the floor of said Radio Shack with what looks like a small assortment of odd-looking pistols and other devices around him. We hear the super-speed noise, and he looks up and around to see Clark in the rear entrance.
JG: Like he can fit in the rear entrance.
TW [scowls at JG]: Shut up. Okay--Clark super-speeds across the room and attempts to grab Zod, but Zod "redirects him"? Huh?
MR: Like Steven Seagal did to everybody before he got fat.
TW [uncertain]: Okay...so Clark gets redirected and given a little nudge, and we cut to a side shot of the front of the Radio Shack as...Clark goes flying out the huge front window and T-bones a car parked in front of it? Damn, when does Clark get some payback?
[AoT and MR look at each other, but don't say anything]
TW: ...oh, that's just great, people.
MR: Zod gathers up his new toys and stuffs them into his backpack.
JG: "I told you to stay out of my way, child. You're only delaying my revenge."
TW: Clark climbs out of the side of the wrecked car. "Your revenge involves destroying this planet, Zod, and I won't let you do that."
JG: "If I had time to explain, child, you would be reminded that I am actually trying to save this world. You cannot comprehend the threat that Hasaad represents."
TW: "A bigger threat than you?"
JG: "On an order of magnitude. Now return to your incessant whining and insignificance, whelp." And Zod super-speeds away.
KK: If Lana had truly embraced the dark side before she died, she so would have said that.

TW: Clark gives chase, and catches up to Zod a few blocks away. We're going through slo-mo like it's going out of style, aren't we?
AoT: Pretty much. For what it's worth, Zod's bitch manages to return Zod's favor--when he catches up to him, he manages to hit him in the jaw and deflect him at speed so that he plows into the side of a car wash.
MR: But then Zod comes back and hits him, knocking him through a lamppost and making a nice shallow crater in some concrete.
AoT: Yet another scene of Zod's bitch getting back up--
MR: And getting knocked back down as Zod hits him.
JG: Along the way: "Stay down, whelp! I said stay down!"
TW [half to himself]: At least it's Zod. Not a witch...or a vampire...or a Zoner...but Zod.
KK: Keep telling yourself that, Tom.
MR: The fight goes through another couple of blocks--yes, Clark does get a couple of licks in--and it stops with Clark and Zod near some kind of bridge. Clark has managed to pin Zod to a concrete pillar, with his hands around his throat.
AoT: Zod manages to turn his head to one side, and sees a long object moving towards the bridge--a small commuter train. He sort of gathers himself and fires off a long blast of heat vision at the bridge, blowing a small part of it up...including part of the rails the train would use. Clark looks over once he sees the heat vision go off, and thus he sees the blast on the bridge.
JG [admiringly]: Now that's a bastard. Zod then manages to turn his head to look at Clark. "Well, child? You can stop me--or you can save your precious chattel! Choose!"
TW [sighs]: The necessary shot of a panicked Clark looking at Zod, then at the bridge, then at Zod.
JG: Zod smirks triumphantly. "Choose, whelp!"
TW: Okay, I hate this. Can I say that? I hate this.
MR: It's all got a point, Tom.
TW: Yeah, that you want to turn Clark into mush.
AoT [absently]: Pie filling...
ED [puzzled]: What?
AoT: Uh...nothing.
MR: We go hard to commercials on a shot of Clark.
JG: You pervert.

Continued...