7.19 Confession (Part II) by TW and JG

as retold by Bill C

KK: Okay, then, back to this Lanabot th--
TW: It's a done deal, Kristin.
KK: The hell it is. I'll go straight to Dawn about this, Tom.
[TW hands KK his cellphone]
TW: Third number in the list.
KK [uncertain]: Uhh...okay! [dials]
ED: Tom, you're being awfully calm about this.
AM: Too calm.
JG: What part of "done deal" don't you understand?
KK: Yes, hello--oh, hi, Maurice. Kristin Kreuk. Can I speak to--what? She's in a meeting? Oh, okay...would you mind--what? She said what? [frowns] I...okay. Thanks, Maurice. [hangs up]
JG: See?
KK: Dawn's secretary said that she loved the ideas Tom presented to her the other day, and [glares at TW] that she gave him carte blanche to run with them for this episode.
JG: When did you talk to Dawn, Tom?
TW: The other day. [to KK] My phone, please?
KK: What the hell did you do, Tom? What ideas? How did you get Dawn to agree to this?
TW: As if I would tell you. My phone?
KK: I have a meeting with a WGA rep next week. I'm not supposed to--
TW: You're still under contract, so you can be used however we see fit.
ED: All right, wait a minute. Isn't the Lanabot simply a ripoff of the Buffybot?
KK: Yeah! There's no way Joss Whedon will--
AM: Just saying...Kristin, I believe you yourself said that a tribute is completely different from a ripoff.
ED: I still don't get how that works.
KK: Tom, come on. You're just pissed because of the whole RedK thing from the last episode.
MR: And Bruce Wayne's parents being dusted by Lobo.
KK: Hey, I never said--
ED: And blaming him for screwing up our promo spots.
KK: He was being a pain in the ass about those!
TW [slowly]: Kristin? Phone.
KK: I...I don't understand. Why are you doing this, Tom? What did I ever do to you?
AoT: Oh, dear.
[TW closes his script with a thump and stares coldly at KK. KK fidgets nervously, and MR and AM edge their chairs away from TW on either side.]
AoT [whispers to KK]: If you want to rent my services as bodyguard again, I'll give you a discount.
JG [whispers to AoT]: It's not worth it.
TW [low rasp]: My...phone...please.
[KK cautiously slides TW's phone across the table. TW picks it up and puts it in his pocket]
TW [sighs, reopens script]: Okay. The episode credits roll as we fade in on a circular pan around Lois, who is standing in the middle of Kahn's office at the Daily Planet.
ED: Cool.
JG [cheerfully]: Kahn is walking around her and yelling at her.
ED: What?
JG: "Okay, Lane! This has to stop! You say you were on the scene right after, supposedly, that Lobo guy killed two of the richest people in Gotham City, right? You saw the bodies! You saw their son! And you bring me a story about how Kal-El--I know, I know, your friend and mine--apparently saved the kid's life, according to him?"
MR: You're running with that?
TW: Lois looks appropriately downcast. "But--"
JG: The pan stops on an over-the-shoulder shot of Lois, with Kahn in front of her. Still yelling, of course. "But nothing! With you it's Kal-El's world and we're all just living in it! Proof? Who needs it? This obsession of yours with urban legends has to stop, Lane, before you find yourself back at the Inquisitor spending your days writing about Oliver Queen's latest girltoy or grown men running around in rat costumes or wearing their underwear outside their pants! Got it?"
JG: Cut to a front shot of Lois as she bites back a response and just nods. Kahn then tells her to get the hell out of her office, and away she goes.
ED: Not even a snarky parting shot?
TW: Not until she gets out of the office. She then mutters, "Bitch...one of my best friends wears his underwear outside his pants."
ED: You're not giving Bittleman a fetish, are you?
TW: No, Erica. Lois means Oliver.
ED: Oh. [pauses] Though I think I'd actually be okay with that.
JG: We cut to another hallway as Lois rounds a corner and Bittleman comes up from behind her. "Hey, Blondie. What did the great and all-powerful Kahn want?"
ED: Can I read this?
TW: Go ahead.
ED: "Her Eminence blasted me for the article about Bruce."
JG: "About Kal-El, you mean."
ED: "Okay, Kal-El and Bruce. Poor kid."
JG: Lois and Bittleman get into an elevator, and we cut to an interior shot to continue the chat. "Come on, Lois. You knew this was coming."
ED: "How could he know Kal-El's name unless he was there?"
JG: "Any number of ways."
ED: "Please! I was there, and I saw him describe that Lobo guy just the way he appeared on the news to the Gotham cops--"
JG: "But he could only give a vague description of your precious Kal-El. Tall, dark hair--hell, in the right light I could pass for Kal-El."
ED: Lois laughs. "You know I love you, Bitsy--"
AM: Bitsy?
TW: He calls her Major Blonde and so on. So she can call him Bitsy.
MR: Guest host Ted Bittleman, all next week on The View!
ED: Sounds kind of corny, though.
MR: Which is why it's perfect coming out of Lois's mouth.
ED [grumbles]: "You know I love you, Bitsy, but you're just not that mysterious and heroic."
JG: Lois and a laughing...Bitsy...get out of the elevator, walk into the bullpen, and sit down at their desks. Bitsy then takes us into exposition hell. "Moving on...we've got a new assignment. Remember the Intercity Gang?"
ED: "There's a name I haven't heard in a while."
AoT: Or anybody else.
JG: "They apparently disappeared off the face of the Earth after that close encounter of the invading kind, but rumor is they might have been responsible for some high-tech break-ins over the past couple of weeks. STAR Labs got hit, some LuthorCorp research facility, Amertek, yadda yadda yadda."
ED: "And Mistress Kahn wants us to forget about Bruce and work on that?"
JG: "You betcha, Blondie."
KK [smugly]: I notice you didn't use the last name.
TW [ignores KK]: Lois picks up a folder on her desk and opens it. Cut to a closeup of the first page inside it, which appears to be part of a police report--no names, but on the page is a picture of Bruce.
MR: Tom, don't tell me you're running with this.
TW: We actually weren't left much of a choice.
MR: Screw that. You could easily just drop all this, never mention it again, and nobody would notice. It's Smallville, dammit.
AM: Give me your tired, your poor, your abandoned storylines...so we can drop them in a hole and cover it up.
JG: Cut to Bittleman looking over at Lois. "And what do you mean I'm not heroic? Who was hanging out with you in that warehouse the last time we were tracking down the Intercity Gang, and who was staring down those demon dogs with you?"
ED: Lois closes the folder and laughs. "Okay, you're kind of heroic. That good enough?"
JG: "Please. Where's your precious Kal-El at? I'll out-hero his ass."
AoT: Not that that's hard to do most of the time.
TW: Lois and Bittleman get down to work, and as we zoom out from their desks we then cut to a shot of a large tree set against a gray morning sky, birds chirping in the background, et cetera.

ED: Clark's playing hooky by the river?
KK [after a few seconds]: Where did you get that?
JG: We pan over and down to ground level, down a row of small stone markers and statues and tombstones...with other rows in the background...
MR: A graveyard? [mouth drops open] No...no, no...
JG: ...and we stop on a long shot of Clark, in a nice suit, standing in front of a fairly large marble tombstone.
MR: I don't believe this! You ran with it!
AM: Okay, I'm surprised too, Tom.
TW: Like I said, no choice. [looks at KK] Whatever the writer says goes, right?
KK: I honestly didn't think you'd--wait, this is a swerve, right? You're just screwing with us?
JG [recites from script]: Clark looks down at the tombstone, and cut to closeup--his face is a mixture of sadness and inner torment. Cut to a reverse shot of Clark, as he looks at the front of the tombstone--and the newly-filled graves in front of it--and almost centered in the shot is a huge plaque: "WAYNE."
ED: Oh my God. DC is going to have our asses for this.
KK [stunned]: Damn.
AM: Way to go, Kristin. You can handle the DC lawyers when they show up.
TW: We won't have to worry about them. Dawn's behind us 100% on this.
KK: This was what you talked to Dawn about? How could she possibly support this?
JG: You opened the door with your "plausible deniability."
KK: But I didn't think anybody would go through it!
TW: Cut back to Clark as he looks like he wants to say something, but can't find the words. So he just cries soundlessly for a few seconds, with a single tear.
AoT: I admit I have no idea where this is going...
JG: We then go to a shot-from-below of Clark from behind the tombstone, as we hear a familiar whooshing noise. Pan over slightly to show that Martian Manhunter is now standing next to Clark. "Kal-El."
TW: Clark looks away from the tombstone. "J'onn, I was...I was there. I was right there--"
JG: "Martha Kent told me of your condition. You have obviously recovered."
AoT: Wait. No Martha onscreen during any of this?
JG: I'm afraid not, Annette. You appear later.
AoT [sourly]: Damnable Offscreenville.
TW: Totally bitter Clark. "Doesn't make it any better. Two people are dead because of what I was involved in."
JG: MM looks off-camera into the distance. "Two humans are dead because of an unstable being, Kal-El. Your intervention prevented it from being three humans."
TW: "Yeah, and if it hadn't been for me and some red kryptonite it would have never happened in the first place." Clark looks back at the tombstone and touches it with one hand. "I should have saved them, J'onn. Dammit, I could have saved them just by not being there."
JG: Closeup of MM as he looks at Clark. "And if you were not here at all, imagine how many people you would not have saved. The human compulsion to feel remorse for things that are out of their control is a curious thing."
AM: Hell, Clark feels remorse when the morning paper's late.
TW: Cut to Clark. "Perhaps it is, J'onn. But I can't stop feeling it either." Bitter laugh. "I suppose it's the one thing I'll always take with me, huh?"
JG: Cut to a wide shot of Clark and MM looking down at the tombstone in silence, and then we go to a commercial break.

Continued...