A Change of Perspective

as retold by RepairmanBob

(Dawn Ostroff’s office. Dawn is watching the end of No Rest for the Wicked, the Supernatural season three finale)

DO: Nooo! Poor Dean! How could they kill you?
(TW throws open the doors to DO’s office and storms in, holding a copy of the script to Bounty.)
TW: Dawn! We need to talk!
DO: Not during Dean Time! (Rewinds the episode of Supernatural on her TiVo, starts to watch again) We’ll be back together soon, Dean! Kripke promised!
TW: (Takes away DO’s remote control.) You have two hours of Dean Time a day! We’ll talk now! (Pauses the show.)
DO: Fine! What could possibly be more important than Dean Time?
TW: (Slams the script to Bounty on DO’s desk) Have you seen this? Have you seen what Kristin and Annette want to do?
DO: No, but Kristin told me it would get people talking –
TW: Clark kills Batman’s parents! They made him a killer! And he is dating Lobo!
DO: I see. Does Clark actually kill anyone?
TW: Technically, Lobo –
DO: And are the people killed identified at Bruce Wayne’s parents?
TW: No one actually says their last names –
DO: And do Clark and Lobo become physically intimate on-screen?
TW: Hell no!
DO: Then what are you bitching about? God, Tom, stop being such a drama queen! This sounds like just the kid of episode that will get people talking about Smallville again!
TW: (Jaw drops)
DO: (Pulls a file out of her desk) Speaking of that, Tom, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about the promos the cast has made for the last few episodes. Or more specifically, the promos they did not make. I have to say, I am disappointed in you.
TW: (Sputtering) Me? How are those stupid fucking promos my fault?
DO: Tom, I count on you to keep Smallville under control!
TW: But –
DO: Do you have any idea how much over budget the promos ran? (Hands TW the file) The set repairs alone are outrageous! More to the point, Kristin was the only person to actually turn in usable commercials! How could you let this happen?
TW: It is Singer and those other asshole producers! I told you, we need to –
DO: (Ignoring TW) To make up the shortfall, I am afraid I will need to cut the budget for Confession.
TW: But Confession is my episode!
DO: Well, then you should have kept better control of the commercials!
TW: How the hell do you expect me to do that?
DO: Oh, so you want power? Why didn't you say so, Tom? As of this moment, you are the acting executive producer of Smallville.
TW: (Looks surprised) Really? I’m the show runner?
DO: Acting show runner.
TW: So I can hire some writers to –
DO: I think not.
TW: Well, I have the authority order the cast to –
DO: Acting show runner, Tom. No power over the cast or crew.
TW: Can I ban Singer, Kern and Whedon from the –
DO: Ban creative minds form the studio? Are you out of your mind?
TW: How about getting more security for –
DO: I need security for the Gossip Girl cast. They are just so darn popular! We say it in every promo for the show!
TW: Can I at least change Bounty?
DO: No retroactive power script changes. You can make changes to the upcoming scripts, though.
TW: I’m already writing the next four episodes!
DO: Well, then we are agreed! Oh, to save money you will not be receiving a raise for your new position.
TW: God damnit, Dawn! How does this fucking help me?
DO: Help you? Tom, shouldn’t you be thinking about what is best for the show?
TW: (Face turning red)
DO: As the acting executive producer, Tom, I also need you to do something big.
TW: (Vein starts to throb in his forehead) Something big?
DO: You know, something to get people talking? Get some buzz, Tom! Like Gossip Girl! Did you know it is the new hit of the season?
TW: (Growling) Can I have some money for new commercials?
DO: Sorry, Tom, but all of the CW’s promotional budget for the rest of the season is going towards Gossip Girl. Maybe when Smallville brings in those kinds of ratings, we can talk about money for promos.
TW: (Shouting) Smallville gets triple the ratings of Gossip Girl! Smallville reruns get triple the ratings of Gossip Girl! I could show 42 minutes of Michael shaking his ass at the camera and get better ratings than Gossip Girl!
DO: So you see my point!
TW: (Incoherent snarling)
DO: You just need to do some guerrilla marketing! Be creative! Do some interviews! Have one of the cast get photographed without underwear! Go party with Paris and LiLo! Get someone on TMZ for getting drunk at a club and starting a fight! Hey, have you thought about doing a mall tour?
TW: (Face gets redder) You… stupid… half witted…
DO: Glad we talked, Tom! You know the way out. (Turns Supernatural back on) Oh, my Dean! You will come back to me in a few short months!

TW: (Stomps outside) Mother fucker! ‘Make a buzz’ she says! How the fuck does she expect me to do that with no budget and no control over the clueless fuckwits I work with?
(TW charges down a hallway, and stops at the sight of a grinning BS, backed up by his cloaked minions)
BS: They’ll turn against you. They always do.
TW: What?
BS: Look at you, reduced to begging Dawn for help. Pitiful. The little people always turn against you, because they fear your greatness. They hate you for it. I, Lex Luthor, know how it feels, Bizarro. (Frowns) You are still Bizarro, right?
TW: Bizarro?
BS: (Still talking) Good, good. Yes, those lowly cretins will turn their backs on you. Just like Superman and Coe the rest of those no-good bastards did to me. But together, we will show them!
TW: (Smiles) They’ll… turn against me.
BS: Together, we can get them all! We will have out revenge! Metropolis will be –
TW: (Kicks BS in the groin)
BS: (Falls over, curls into a ball)
TW: Thanks, Bryan. You just gave me a great idea.
BS: The… name is… Lex…
TW: (Kicks BS in the groin again) Oh, and now I am the asshole Superman from the end of Superman 2, who beat up the bully after he got his powers back.
BS: That… makes… sense…
(BS’s minions carry him away)
TW: (Walks off, smiling) They’ll turn against me.

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