7.19 Confession (Part VIII) by TW and JG

as retold by Bill C

TW: And we're back on another establishing shot of the farm, this time at sunset.
MR: So Lex can show up and kick Clark's ass.
TW: There is actually no asskicking in this episode.
MR: None? Lex finds out Clark's a freak, Lionel finds out Chloe killed Lana, and there's no asskicking?
TW: Nope.
AM: Is there bitchslapping?
JG: A little.
ED: That's it? You're telling me that Chippendale dancers and edible body paint led to this?
MR: It was edible?
TW: Oversimplification, but yeah.
MR [to ED]: Did you use it all?
ED: Dammit. [to MR] Yes.
MR: Damn!
TW [sighs]: Cut to a long shot of Clark leaning against one of the barn doors, looking wistfully off-camera-left, hair ruffling slightly in the bree--
ED: Is he still wearing the wifebeater?
AoT [at the same time]: Is he still wearing the tank top? [looks at ED] I can't believe we shared the same brain cell for that.
TW: Yes, he's still wearing the damn thing.
ED: Okay.
TW: A very slow zoom on Clark starts as he sighs, pulls his cellphone out of a pocket, and dials a number.
AM: The Pie Hole?
AoT: His mother?
KK: 1-900-SLUT-GIRL?
[everyone looks at KK]
KK [exasperated]: Farsc--never mind. God, rent some DVDs, people!
TW: "Hey, Pete, th--oh. Voicemail."
AM: Pete? Like this episode can afford to get Sam back in here?
TW: Shh. "Hey, Pete, it--it's Clark. I just thought I'd check in, see how you were doing. I know you couldn't make it to Chloe's funeral--"
KK: Like it mattered in the end.
AM: It should have mattered! But...well...
AoT: It's okay. Nobody remembers Pete.
TW: "--though it's okay, since she got better."
[KK looks at TW, then bursts out laughing]
AM: You know what? [points at KK] That about sums it up.
TW: Okay, you describe it in two seconds. [shakes head] "Pete, whenever you get this, give me a call. I'd love to catch up, and I could really use a friend to talk to...it seems like I'm kind of light on those right now."
ED: Whiny Clark. Inevitable like death and taxes.
TW: "I'm worried about Chloe, and...and things are just a mess. Honestly, I'm not sure how much more I can take." Clark hangs up.
KK: Really whiny Clark. Inevitable like...really whiny Clark.
JG: Clark straightens up and turns to walk off-camera, but turns around again as the sound of an approaching vehicle fades in. Cut to a--
AM+ED [sing-song]: Tracking shot!
JG: Overhead, thank you, of Lex's silver Porsche--
TW: Okay, that's changed.
JG: It is?
TW: It's now a 2009 Toyota Camry Solara convertible. Completely black. Paint, trim, everything.
AM: Product placement? This late in the episode? For what, paying for all the clips?
MR: I'm not complaining.
JG: We have to eat. So this black Toyota roars up the access road to the farm and comes to a rapid, slightly skidding stop next to Clark's Tundra, headlights aimed directly at Clark.
TW: Cut to a shot of Clark caught in the headlights.
KK: Looking like a deer?
AoT: ...a little less so.
TW: Front shot of the Solara as the engine and headlights shut off, and Lex gets out.
ED: How does Lex know Clark's at home?
AM: The HoYay. It's like a homing beacon.
ED: Oh, okay.
JG: And now we do a--
ED+KK [sing-song]: Tracking shot!
JG: -- from the side as Lex slowly walks up to Clark. Cut to an over-the-shoulder shot of Lex as Clark looks expectantly at him, then to an over-the-shoulder shot of Clark with Lex looking at him with an unreadable expression on his face for a few seconds. And then Lex suddenly punches Clark in the face.
MR: Whoa, what?
ED: The hell?
AM: Catfight!
KK: Foreplay!
TW: Back to the previous over-the-shoulder shot of Clark as he takes the hit, head snapping back and forward, and then he straightens up and looks at Lex with surprise.
KK: In those hungry lust-filled eyes.
JG: Back to the shot of Lex, still with the unreadable expression on his face. And he casually says, "I was wondering if you could feel that."
AoT: Ever so slightly bitchy.
MR [laughs]: Nice!
TW: Clark glares at Lex. "I felt that just fine, Lex, thanks. If that's your idea of a night out on the town, go find a fight club or something. You can afford a human punching bag or two, and I've got better things to do." Clark turns on his heel and walks into the barn.
MR: Okay, lemme read this...Lex follows Clark into the barn. "I don't know how you did it, Clark. Seven years and I never really figured it out...not until now."
TW: Clark goes up the stairs into the loft, still not looking at Lex. "Figured what out, Lex? That you're an obsessive control freak with delusions of godhood?"
ED: Counter-zing!
MR: And Lex follows Clark into the loft.
KK: Damn! Another loft scene?
AoT: Where else would the lovers quarrel?
MR: "I finally realized that...perhaps there really is more to mild-mannered farmboy Clark Kent than meets the eye." Lex stops at the top of the stairs. "Or the security camera."
TW: Cut to a shot of Clark through the loft window as he leans against the sill, Lex out of focus behind him. For a split-second fear appears on his face. "What are you talking about?"
MR: The camera brings Lex into focus and blurs Clark. "You remember my wedding day, don't you? Such a lovely day...sure, you missed most of the wedding itself, but I know you made it in time for the important part."
ED: Zing!
MR: "The thing is, though, that I know you also dropped by the mansion a little earlier that day."
TW: Dramatic pause as Clark comes back into focus, and the fear comes back into his face for a few seconds this time.
MR: Then back out of focus, and off goes Lex. "I remember that I had asked Chloe to...to get Lana's wedding present. It was in the wine cellar. And I remember the old cellar door tended to stick, so she got stuck in there...and she called you to help her, and you snuck in...and took the door right off its hinges." Short sarcastic laugh. "All that clean living and hard work on the farm paid off, huh?"
TW: Cut to an in-loft shot of Clark as he turns around, doing his best to look collected. "What do you want, Lex?"
KK: To do you. Duh.
MR: Cut to Lex. "What do I want? I want a little truth, Clark. I--I can't believe I didn't have it figured out after my car went into the Elbow River seven years ago. After it hit you."
TW: "Lex, how many times do I--"
MR: "Save it! I saw you pull the door off, Clark...like one of those bales of hay down there. Though I have to admit you've done a marvelous job of hiding that ability from everyone..."
AoT: Proving that Lex is really blind as a bat.
AM: No, the universe just hates him.

TW: Clark thinks for a moment. "I don't have to explain my--"
MR: Lex walks up to Clark, and cut to a wide shot of them staring at each other in front of the loft window. "Oh, go right ahead and hide behind that comfortable cloak of 'not explaining yourself.' You're so good at it. But the truth's out...the truth that Clark Kent is really a meteor freak."
ED: Technically, you could say that.
MR: Quiet, woman. "And this time you're not going to--"
TW: Clark cuts Lex off. "Lex...we were friends once. Let me ask you something." His voice drops slightly, gains a slight edge. "If I really am an unstable, unpredictable 'meteor freak'--then why haven't I flipped out yet and tried to kill you?"
AoT [after a few seconds]: Damn, irrefutable logic.
MR: Lex stares at Clark for a long moment. "What about Zod?"
TW: Clark manages to keep his game face on for that. "Zod?"
MR: "You...you cast it out." Oh, come on, Lex flakes out here? Bullshit!
JG: We couldn't make it that easy.
MR: Bastards. So Lex gets slightly confused and rambling. "Forced it out...I know you forced it out..."
TW: And Clark jumps on that opportunity.
AM: In Lex's pants.
TW: "Are you sure your mind isn't playing tricks on you, Lex? Who's Zod? Who forced him out of where?"
MR: Lex pauses, then does that look-down-laugh-look-up thing. "I still know what I saw. You can't deny that...and I see that you haven't." Closeup as he leans towards Clark and glares at him. "What are you, Clark Kent?"
ED: A brooding, masochistic farmboy.
AM: A big dumb alien.
KK: A judgmental self-righteous jerk with moments of niceness.
MR: The one who got away.
AoT: A handsome, yet incredibly reckless man who means well.
JG: Terminally style-impaired.
TW: Closeup on Clark, and the hell with all of you. He doesn't go for the opening.
KK: In Lex's pants.
TW [scowls]: "I'm just a man, Lex. Just a man."
MR: Back to Lex, continuing to glare, until he finally turns away and heads for the stairs. He stops just before he gets there and calls out over his shoulder, "One last thing, Clark. What do you know about Kal-El?"
TW: Clark bristles. "Even if I did know anything, even if I'd heard that name before, what the hell makes you think I would tell you?"
MR: Lex considers that silently, and heads down the stairs. Cut to an outside-the-loft shot of Clark as he slumps against the windowsill, as we hear Lex get back in his car and drive off, and cut to commer-- [to TW] That's it?
ED: Well, it's still more interesting than anything else that's happened in this episode since the Lanabot showed up.

Continued...