TW [calmly]: Cut to a profile shot of Nell, Pete, and the extras as they are enveloped in a blinding white light, accompanied by a loud rumbling noise. Cut again to some pedestrians across the street from the Talon as they are also enveloped in the light, then we cut to a long shot of Smallville's main street as the light rapidly spreads out in a dome-shaped fashion. Cut again to an aerial establishing shot of Smallville itself as the dome spreads out to cover it, turning into something akin to a giant water ripple, and then the center of it actually balloons out into a gargantuan white mushroom cloud that almost envelops the camera's POV.
[JG collects himself and takes the page back from a shocked AoT]
JG: Uh, um, then...then...cut to a long shot of the Kent farm in shakycam mode. Then cut to an interior shot of the barn as things are shaking and falling to the ground, and pan over to Shelby sitting on top of a bale of hay looking towards the barn doors. We then cut to [mouth drops open again] a reverse shot of Shelby watching an oncoming wave of energy and debris, and he makes a barely audible whining noise before...before it envelops... [stares at TW in utter astonishment]
TW: Cut briefly to Clark as we hear his phone make a very high-pitched whining noise, then silence. He looks at it in surprised confusion and says, "Pete? Hello, Pete?" Cut again to Lionel's office, as a very bright flash of light brings his attention to the window; cut to a shot of him looking out the window, and seeing what looks like a distant second sun on the horizon beyond the Metropolis skyline. Cut to a through-the-window shot of Lionel looking astonished...just like that, John, that's good...as the building itself shakes a bit.
[TW pauses, looks around, then goes on]
TW: Finally, cut to the mansion as Lex and Chloe's faces are illuminated by the same flash. They both turn to look out the window, Lex in surprise that turns into utter shock, Chloe calmly. Chloe says, "Oh, dear."
[TW looks around again, and smiles]
TW: Cut to a reverse shot as we go to shakycam to show that everything is shaking in the study, and we can also now see this huge wave of energy, debris, and smoke rushing across the plain through the window, wiping out everything in its path. Chloe turns to Lex and says simply, "Get down," and pushes him to the floor about two seconds before everything in the study is obscured by flying glass and dust as the stained glass windows explode inward. Then everything is basically a gray, swirling cloud of dust for about ten seconds.
AM [astonished]: You...you ripped it off!;
TW [nods]: Yes, pretty much.
AM [shouting]: You ripped it the fuck off!;
KK: I...I....Tom, you...you just nuked Smallville!;
MR: You nuked Lex!;
AM: And Chloe!;
ED: You just blew up a city, Tom!;
AM: I can not believe you just did that!;
AoT: N-neither can I...
TW: Don't worry. The worst is over. We cut back to Clark as he--
AM [shouting]: You destroyed Smallville!; You killed Clark's dog!; And you ripped off Six and Baltar from Battlestar Galactica!;
KK: Pete...Nell...Lex...Chloe... [outraged] Shelby?!;? What the hell did he ever do to anybody?!;?
TW: We cut back to Clark as he shrugs and closes his cellphone, saying something about Pete possibly losing his signal. Then he has to grab for support as the building shakes a bit. Cut to the bullpen as a cup slides off Lois's desk and shatters on the floor, and she and everybody else present look around in surprise. "What the hell was that?"
JG [collects himself again]: Um...Bittleman looks about as confused as Lois does. "I have no idea, Lois."
TW: "Last I knew, Metropolis wasn't near any fault lines..."
JG: "Yeah, that hasn't changed in the last five minutes."
TW: Clark walks back into the bullpen. "Hey, did you feel that?"
JG: "We sure did. Looks like we might have a new story, Blondie."
AM: Tom, what the fuck did you just do to our show?!;?
TW: Almost done.
AoT: Done with what?
TW: The episode. So Lois goes to reply to Bittleman, but is cut off by a loud blast of generic TV station music from a wall-mounted flatscreen TV across the room. As she turns to look at the TV, we cut to a closeup of the screen--which is now displaying the KTMP logo and the words "SPECIAL REPORT." After a few seconds of that, we cut to a TV news anchor's desk; Evelyn is sitting behind it. She looks unnerved. "We interrupt your regular programming for a KTMP special report. Uh...we are receiving reports that some kind of tremor has just hit the greater Metropolis area. We are trying to verify as much as possible, but it appears that this may have been a minor earthquake."
ED [snatches page from JG]: Give me that!; Dammit, what are you going to do to Lois...cut to her as she just says, "I was just saying that, thanks, Evelyn!;" That's it?
TW: And at that moment Evelyn puts one hand to an ear. "Wait, they what? What? You can't be..." Her face goes white, but she does her best to cover it. For about five seconds. "Ladies and gentlemen...KTMP News has just...just learned...that a massive explosion of some kind has taken place in central Kansas. The shockwave from...the explosion is apparently what caused the tremors felt here in...uh...felt here."
ED: Wide shot of the entire bullpen, as other reporters stand up and stare at the screen in shock, with Bittleman and Clark and Lois centered in the shot. Lois whispers, "Holy...how could this happen?"
TW: As she says that, Clark backs quietly out of the bullpen. A rising tide of noise masks his exit as people begin running every which way and yelling for other people to do various things, and he looks around--and then stops in his tracks as a terrified expression appears on his face. "Oh, God...Pete." And he super-speeds out of there.
JG [takes page back from ED]: Cut to a tracking shot past a grove of trees that appear to have been violently stripped of all their leaves and most of their branches. As the camera clears the trees, it opens onto a panoramic view of a huge, barren, blasted plain...the remains of various buildings can be seen in the distance, along with wrecked cars and a couple of small aircraft. It zooms in a little bit, still tracking from right to left, until the camera finally stops at the rim of what appears to be a fairly large crater. And at this point Clark super-speeds into the center of the shot and stops, back to the camera, looking around.
TW: And as he arrives the choral part of Media Vita In Morte Sumus starts up again, louder than it was before and with more bass. The camera pans around Clark to his front, and we see him staring around in total shock at the devastation before him--quick cuts to various thoroughly leveled buildings, to a tiny part of the Talon sign embedded in the side of a wrecked SUV, and so on. Clark walks for a little while through the carnage, at the edge of the crater, still looking around in shock, and we switch to an overhead shot and pull back rapidly as he walks until we end up with what would be the usual aerial establishing shot of Smallville--except that it's not there any more. Just this blasted, barren plain with a crater in the middle.
JG: And as the music reaches its crescendo again, we abruptly switch to another closeup of the TV at the Daily Planet. Evelyn is about to say something when the screen abruptly goes to static; cut to the bullpen crowd staring at the TV in horror, then back to the TV as a new image appears--a tall, well-built man with a beard and a thin mustache in a dark green uniform of indeterminate design--but definitely not a typical U.S. military uniform.
ED: Wait. Isn't that--
JG: It is, isn't it...the man Lionel's been talking to off and on for a few episodes. And he says, "People of Earth...may I have your attention, please." Extremely hard cut to black with a metallic clang, and we go to a "To Be Continued..." title card. [puts page down] That's it.
[everybody looks at TW]
JG: I think an explanation is in order.
AoT: I agree.
KK: Why the hell did you do this?
TW [closes his copy of the script]: I'll tell you why. I just ran out of bullshit.
MR: You...what?
TW: I ran out of bullshit. And you know why? It's because of all of you. Your goddamned insanity.
AoT: Excuse me?
TW [angrily]: It occurred to me that I spend just as much time trying to keep you all in line than I do trying to make sure our show doesn't completely suck. You know what? I'm tired of it. I'm beyond tired of it!; It's a losing situation!; It's like I'm the warden at a miniature Arkham Asylum, just trying to rein in [points at KK] people who think the show is merely another way to entertain some sort of sadistic urge...
KK: B-b-but--
TW [points at AoT]: People who think they're above everything and attempt to rule by force!;
AoT [surprised]: It's...worked so far...
TW [points at ED]: People who are more concerned with style over substance!;
ED: What? Hey!; I'm not--
TW [points at MR]: And people who are so concerned with their character's images [moves pointing finger to AM, then finally JG] that they don't care if the rest of the show goes down in flames apart from that!;
AM: I...well...I'm not that bad...
JG [nonplussed]: I haven't exactly been subtle about that...but I'll grant you the point.
TW [pounds fist on table, voice gets louder]: And then, on top of all that, we get Bryan Singer--oh, God, what fresh hell was that? The shit he laid at my feet, firing Allison...the fucking Suit...so we finally get rid of him, and then Michael in his infinite motherfucking wisdom thinks it'd be awesome--no, wait, [impersonates MR] awesome--if Joss Whedon was running the show. And [pound] then the [pound] son of a bitch [pound] from Charmed [pounds table hard enough to crack it] shows up!;
AM [stunned]: Uh, Tom, calm down, please...
[TW abruptly stands up so fast his chair falls over]
TW [shouting]: And you all think it's just fine for good old Tom to take care of it all? Well, guess what, you bastards--I'll take care of it, all right!; Singer...Whedon...Kern!; I'll take care of everything!; I'll take care of it so that we never have to worry about bullshit like this ever again!; And you know why? Because I'm the showrunner for the remainder of the fucking season!;
[everybody gapes at TW in surprise]
TW [suddenly icy calm, voice drops to a growl]: So don't worry, folks. Tom will fix it. [pulls out his cellphone and dials a number] This is Tom. Go, goddammit. [closes phone] Oh, and Kristin?
KK [hesitantly]: Uh...yes?
TW: That's your new car out front, isn't it?
[TW goes to the door and exits, slamming the door behind him. Everyone is silent for a few seconds, and then KK dashes to a window]
KK: Oh, thank God, it's still there!;
[Heavy machinery can be heard outside.]
KK: Hey, do you hear--
[A huge chunk of concrete suddenly lands on a small parked car, destroying it.]
MR [runs to window]: Holy shit!;
KK [screams]: Oh my God!; My car!; They...they pancaked my car!;
ED: Wait, what?
KK [sobs]: My car...my poor...pancaked...car...
[KK faints]
Next
7.19 Confession (Part XII) by TW and JG
as retold by Bill C
AoT: Seriously, gentlemen. Where do you go from Lionel killing MM?
JG: Actually, that's the end [flips page in script] and we go to--hold on, where's the last page? This script has no last page.
[everyone but TW flips pages in their copies of the script]
ED: That's odd.
AM: Trouble at the copier?
TW: Oh, sorry, John. I made a last-minute change to the script. [pulls an unstapled page out of his copy and hands it to JG]
JG: You didn't make that a dream sequence, did you?
TW: No, I didn't mess with it at all. Lionel still--
KK [whispers]: Quotes......Spock...
MR: I never thought I'd see the day when Tom managed to give Kristin an aneurysm. Thanks, man.
JG: All right, so... [skims page] You added a scene, Tom?
TW: Yeah, nothing special. After Lionel kills MM, we hold on that shot of him for a few seconds as the music reaches a minor crescendo. Then we cut to a wide shot of the study at the mansion; Lex is there, his back to the camera, leaning over the empty fireplace.
MR: Okay, now he gets the manly flipout?
TW: Well...no. We go to a side shot of him, looking down into the fireplace with a stony look on his face, as some generic sad music plays. And then we hear footsteps as someone walks into the study and stops. Lex of course goes, "I said I didn't want to be disturbed."
JG: Let's see...the footsteps start up again, as we pan around Lex from left to right with the audio of the footsteps indicating someone is walking in the opposite direction. Lex straightens up and looks in that direction, and the camera rotates just enough to keep him in the shot and show that Chloe is now standing to one side of the desk in the study.
AM: Okay, why would she go to see Lex now?
ED: I've got nothing.
AoT: Twisting the knife.
KK: Duh.
AM: What's Chloe wearing?
TW: She changed since the previous scene--this time she's wearing a red jacket and miniskirt.
ED: You know, I'm starting to hate this new White Queen Barbie thing Chloe's got going.
AM: Red again? I hate red now.
TW: Chloe simply gets as far as "I just came to say--" before we cut to stone-faced Lex pulling out his gun again and popping off three shots at her. He misses and shatters a few lower panes of the stained glass window behind the desk, just to one side of Chloe.
MR: What the hell?
JG: Well, that was manly. He didn't whine about anything before trying to shoot her.
AM: Chloe doesn't do the Neo thing this time?
TW: Nope. She stands there, looks behind her at the broken window, through which we can see some trees and so on, then back at Lex. "That's an interesting way to greet someone, Mr. Luthor."
MR: She doesn't even use his first name? Oh, this sucks.
JG: Cut back to Lex as he lowers the gun, still stone-faced.
TW: And then we cut back to the Talon. Nell--
KK [sarcastic]: Pete and Nell? How many iPhones will we have to use in the next episode to afford that?
TW: --is talking to a wholesome-looking young woman with red hair. No, not the Lanabot. "So, Renee, do you need anything?"
JG: Pete can be seen in the far background, and closer to Nell and this...Renee...who is that?
TW: She's a singer-actress. Renee Olstead.
ED: Who?
KK: Just guessing: she's CW-friendly?
TW: Basically, yes.
AoT: A musical tie-in? Those are usually fairly lucrative...
TW: So Renee goes "No, I'm fine, thank you," and chit-chats with Nell for a minute before going to a little stage set up in a corner with some generic band already in place.
JG: Meanwhile, Jimmy Olsen takes a couple of pictures of her from the near background.
AM: Jimmy too?
MR: Well, we haven't seen him in a little while.
ED: And he's not dead. I think.
JG: After the chit-chat, we pan over to Pete, still at his window table and talking on his cellphone. "So tell me, Clark...how badly did Lex kick your ass at the Slab?"
KK: Damn, he's still sharp as ever.
TW: Cut to Clark, still outside the bullpen at the Planet. "What? How do you know about--"
JG: Pete lowers his voice a little. "I saw the whole thing live on TV. One, only one person I know on this planet would go after Lex like that, and two--Lex is too much of a peacock to let anybody else steal his thunder. Even if it meant risking his own life."
MR: Screw Pete! Iron Lex sets an excellent example for humanity!
ED: Of how badly denying a person's true feelings can screw them all up.
MR: Oh, shut up!
ED [thoughtful]: Though I suppose if Clark and Lex ever did admit their true feelings for each other, the show would suddenly get a lot shorter and duller.
AoT: There you go being...well, kind of smart again.
KK: But she is right. One of the building blocks of the show is HoYay.
ED [sings]: We built this city...we built this city on raw HoYay...
AoT: Wouldn't you have been seven when that song was on the radio?
TW: The song's so famously bad everyone in North America knows the chorus.
AoT: You have a point.
TW: Anyway. Clark has to laugh, albeit a little bitterly, at Pete's comment. "Tell you what, Pete. I'm at the Daily Planet in Metropolis. Give me a couple of minutes to get to the Talon, and we can catch up in earnest."
JG: Pete nods and gets as far as "You got it, Cl--" before being cut off by a loud metallic thump from outside. He looks out the window, though we can't see what he's looking at. "What the...hey, Nell? Was anyone expecting a delivery?"
MR: Well, hey, since we just offed the Waynes why not have the Joker leave a giant jack-in-the-box outside the Talon?
JG: Nell comes over to Pete's table, as in the background this Renee begins singing a suitably Gen-Y version of What A Wonderful World, and looks out the window. "The manager didn't say she was expecting anything today, no." Cut to a reverse shot of the two of them, staring out the window at what appears to be a big metal sphere mounted on a tripod, which is taking up a parking place.
AM: Oh, great. Now we've got more aliens taking up space on the show?
TW: As we cut to the sphere, a very specific piece of orchestral music starts up. It's an arrangement of a Latin chant--Media Vita In Morte Sumus.
JG: We're going back to that well again?
TW: It's for effect. Cut back to Clark as we hear Pete's voice over the phone. "Hey, Clark? You're not on your way, are you?" Clark answers in the negative, and Pete goes on: "Somebody left some sort of abstract art project outside..."
JG: Cut to a medium reverse shot of the sphere as it begins to hum and glow from a series of circular seams around its surface. In the background, Pete slowly stands up from his chair. "Uh...Clark, this thing's glowing now..."
TW: Cut to Clark, as a look of puzzlement appears on his face. "Pete?"
JG: And then back to the mansion, where we get a through-the-window shot of Chloe looking out the broken window in the study. I don't think we've ever done that before. "I wanted to thank you. If it weren't for you...I literally wouldn't be here now. I wouldn't be the woman I am today."
AM: Yeah, she wouldn't be a slightly unstable and formerly dead walking superweapon.
MR: With great legs.
AM: Quiet over there.
TW: Cut to a wide shot as Lex slowly walks around the side of his desk and grabs Chloe by the shoulders. "You've already done your damage, Chloe. Lana's dead." He lets her go. "I...I can't hurt you, so just leave me alone. Get out!"
[AM looks thoughtful, but she doesn't say anything]
JG: Back to the sphere, which is glowing brighter now and humming very loudly. Quick cut to Pete and Nell, now with Renee and a few other extras around them, all looking at it--then Pete, still on the phone, quietly says, "I've got a bad feeling about this." Cut to a frontal zoom on the sphere, where we can now see a symbol crudely painted on its "front"--the symbol of... [stares at TW in astonishment]
ED: The symbol of what?
JG [to TW]: You wouldn't.
KK: He wouldn't do what?
TW [to JG]: It's done.
KK: What's done?
AM: I'm not liking the sound of this...
MR: What the hell is going on?
[JG reads further down the page, and his mouth drops open]
AoT [puzzled]: John?
TW [calmly]: The symbol on the sphere is the emblem of the Apokoliptian military.
KK: It's the what? [pauses] What the hell is about to happen here?
TW [looks at JG for a beat]: Cut back to the mansion, as Chloe just looks at Lex for a few seconds. Her face shows a tender, almost loving, expression.
AM: The hell?
TW: And then she softly says, "I just came to thank you. And..." And she takes his face in her hands and lays a slow, passionate kiss on him.
AM [shocked]: The hell?!?
MR: Tell me Lex gets to smack her. Please tell me he gets to smack her.
TW: No, but he pulls back and looks at her with--yeah, pretty much the expression you have now, Michael. Pure shock. Then we cut back to the sphere...
[AoT leans over and takes the page from JG's hands and reads it. Her mouth drops open.]
TW: ...which is glowing and humming like crazy underneath the orchestral music, which has gone to a fast-paced chorus and has been building to a crescendo since the last scene cut. And then, one second after the music hits a crescendo and fades...the sphere explodes.
[everyone stares at TW, speechless]
Continued...
AoT: Seriously, gentlemen. Where do you go from Lionel killing MM?
JG: Actually, that's the end [flips page in script] and we go to--hold on, where's the last page? This script has no last page.
[everyone but TW flips pages in their copies of the script]
ED: That's odd.
AM: Trouble at the copier?
TW: Oh, sorry, John. I made a last-minute change to the script. [pulls an unstapled page out of his copy and hands it to JG]
JG: You didn't make that a dream sequence, did you?
TW: No, I didn't mess with it at all. Lionel still--
KK [whispers]: Quotes......Spock...
MR: I never thought I'd see the day when Tom managed to give Kristin an aneurysm. Thanks, man.
JG: All right, so... [skims page] You added a scene, Tom?
TW: Yeah, nothing special. After Lionel kills MM, we hold on that shot of him for a few seconds as the music reaches a minor crescendo. Then we cut to a wide shot of the study at the mansion; Lex is there, his back to the camera, leaning over the empty fireplace.
MR: Okay, now he gets the manly flipout?
TW: Well...no. We go to a side shot of him, looking down into the fireplace with a stony look on his face, as some generic sad music plays. And then we hear footsteps as someone walks into the study and stops. Lex of course goes, "I said I didn't want to be disturbed."
JG: Let's see...the footsteps start up again, as we pan around Lex from left to right with the audio of the footsteps indicating someone is walking in the opposite direction. Lex straightens up and looks in that direction, and the camera rotates just enough to keep him in the shot and show that Chloe is now standing to one side of the desk in the study.
AM: Okay, why would she go to see Lex now?
ED: I've got nothing.
AoT: Twisting the knife.
KK: Duh.
AM: What's Chloe wearing?
TW: She changed since the previous scene--this time she's wearing a red jacket and miniskirt.
ED: You know, I'm starting to hate this new White Queen Barbie thing Chloe's got going.
AM: Red again? I hate red now.
TW: Chloe simply gets as far as "I just came to say--" before we cut to stone-faced Lex pulling out his gun again and popping off three shots at her. He misses and shatters a few lower panes of the stained glass window behind the desk, just to one side of Chloe.
MR: What the hell?
JG: Well, that was manly. He didn't whine about anything before trying to shoot her.
AM: Chloe doesn't do the Neo thing this time?
TW: Nope. She stands there, looks behind her at the broken window, through which we can see some trees and so on, then back at Lex. "That's an interesting way to greet someone, Mr. Luthor."
MR: She doesn't even use his first name? Oh, this sucks.
JG: Cut back to Lex as he lowers the gun, still stone-faced.
TW: And then we cut back to the Talon. Nell--
KK [sarcastic]: Pete and Nell? How many iPhones will we have to use in the next episode to afford that?
TW: --is talking to a wholesome-looking young woman with red hair. No, not the Lanabot. "So, Renee, do you need anything?"
JG: Pete can be seen in the far background, and closer to Nell and this...Renee...who is that?
TW: She's a singer-actress. Renee Olstead.
ED: Who?
KK: Just guessing: she's CW-friendly?
TW: Basically, yes.
AoT: A musical tie-in? Those are usually fairly lucrative...
TW: So Renee goes "No, I'm fine, thank you," and chit-chats with Nell for a minute before going to a little stage set up in a corner with some generic band already in place.
JG: Meanwhile, Jimmy Olsen takes a couple of pictures of her from the near background.
AM: Jimmy too?
MR: Well, we haven't seen him in a little while.
ED: And he's not dead. I think.
JG: After the chit-chat, we pan over to Pete, still at his window table and talking on his cellphone. "So tell me, Clark...how badly did Lex kick your ass at the Slab?"
KK: Damn, he's still sharp as ever.
TW: Cut to Clark, still outside the bullpen at the Planet. "What? How do you know about--"
JG: Pete lowers his voice a little. "I saw the whole thing live on TV. One, only one person I know on this planet would go after Lex like that, and two--Lex is too much of a peacock to let anybody else steal his thunder. Even if it meant risking his own life."
MR: Screw Pete! Iron Lex sets an excellent example for humanity!
ED: Of how badly denying a person's true feelings can screw them all up.
MR: Oh, shut up!
ED [thoughtful]: Though I suppose if Clark and Lex ever did admit their true feelings for each other, the show would suddenly get a lot shorter and duller.
AoT: There you go being...well, kind of smart again.
KK: But she is right. One of the building blocks of the show is HoYay.
ED [sings]: We built this city...we built this city on raw HoYay...
AoT: Wouldn't you have been seven when that song was on the radio?
TW: The song's so famously bad everyone in North America knows the chorus.
AoT: You have a point.
TW: Anyway. Clark has to laugh, albeit a little bitterly, at Pete's comment. "Tell you what, Pete. I'm at the Daily Planet in Metropolis. Give me a couple of minutes to get to the Talon, and we can catch up in earnest."
JG: Pete nods and gets as far as "You got it, Cl--" before being cut off by a loud metallic thump from outside. He looks out the window, though we can't see what he's looking at. "What the...hey, Nell? Was anyone expecting a delivery?"
MR: Well, hey, since we just offed the Waynes why not have the Joker leave a giant jack-in-the-box outside the Talon?
JG: Nell comes over to Pete's table, as in the background this Renee begins singing a suitably Gen-Y version of What A Wonderful World, and looks out the window. "The manager didn't say she was expecting anything today, no." Cut to a reverse shot of the two of them, staring out the window at what appears to be a big metal sphere mounted on a tripod, which is taking up a parking place.
AM: Oh, great. Now we've got more aliens taking up space on the show?
TW: As we cut to the sphere, a very specific piece of orchestral music starts up. It's an arrangement of a Latin chant--Media Vita In Morte Sumus.
JG: We're going back to that well again?
TW: It's for effect. Cut back to Clark as we hear Pete's voice over the phone. "Hey, Clark? You're not on your way, are you?" Clark answers in the negative, and Pete goes on: "Somebody left some sort of abstract art project outside..."
JG: Cut to a medium reverse shot of the sphere as it begins to hum and glow from a series of circular seams around its surface. In the background, Pete slowly stands up from his chair. "Uh...Clark, this thing's glowing now..."
TW: Cut to Clark, as a look of puzzlement appears on his face. "Pete?"
JG: And then back to the mansion, where we get a through-the-window shot of Chloe looking out the broken window in the study. I don't think we've ever done that before. "I wanted to thank you. If it weren't for you...I literally wouldn't be here now. I wouldn't be the woman I am today."
AM: Yeah, she wouldn't be a slightly unstable and formerly dead walking superweapon.
MR: With great legs.
AM: Quiet over there.
TW: Cut to a wide shot as Lex slowly walks around the side of his desk and grabs Chloe by the shoulders. "You've already done your damage, Chloe. Lana's dead." He lets her go. "I...I can't hurt you, so just leave me alone. Get out!"
[AM looks thoughtful, but she doesn't say anything]
JG: Back to the sphere, which is glowing brighter now and humming very loudly. Quick cut to Pete and Nell, now with Renee and a few other extras around them, all looking at it--then Pete, still on the phone, quietly says, "I've got a bad feeling about this." Cut to a frontal zoom on the sphere, where we can now see a symbol crudely painted on its "front"--the symbol of... [stares at TW in astonishment]
ED: The symbol of what?
JG [to TW]: You wouldn't.
KK: He wouldn't do what?
TW [to JG]: It's done.
KK: What's done?
AM: I'm not liking the sound of this...
MR: What the hell is going on?
[JG reads further down the page, and his mouth drops open]
AoT [puzzled]: John?
TW [calmly]: The symbol on the sphere is the emblem of the Apokoliptian military.
KK: It's the what? [pauses] What the hell is about to happen here?
TW [looks at JG for a beat]: Cut back to the mansion, as Chloe just looks at Lex for a few seconds. Her face shows a tender, almost loving, expression.
AM: The hell?
TW: And then she softly says, "I just came to thank you. And..." And she takes his face in her hands and lays a slow, passionate kiss on him.
AM [shocked]: The hell?!?
MR: Tell me Lex gets to smack her. Please tell me he gets to smack her.
TW: No, but he pulls back and looks at her with--yeah, pretty much the expression you have now, Michael. Pure shock. Then we cut back to the sphere...
[AoT leans over and takes the page from JG's hands and reads it. Her mouth drops open.]
TW: ...which is glowing and humming like crazy underneath the orchestral music, which has gone to a fast-paced chorus and has been building to a crescendo since the last scene cut. And then, one second after the music hits a crescendo and fades...the sphere explodes.
[everyone stares at TW, speechless]
Continued...
7.19 Confession (Part XI) by TW and JG
as retold by Bill C
AoT: Well. Another long weekend for me, I guess. Fine. I'm assuming, Tom, that you'll soothe this insult by making sure--
TW: Don't say it, Annette. Don't say it. I know, okay?
AoT: Just making sure.
JG: Believe me, Annette--he knows.
AM [to AoT]: How fast can you get "Never shall we die" T-shirts made up?
AoT: I'll check later.
TW [grumbles]: So...the last scene in the episode opens with Lois and Bittleman in the bullpen at the Daily Planet.
ED: Post-mindwipe Lois. This sucks.
TW: Bittleman is thus a little cranky. "God, Major Blonde, how many times did I tell you--take a backup copy, not the master! How the hell did your friend erase the tape?"
JG: Lois throws up her hands. "I have no idea! Damn, there goes my big--"
TW: "Don't say it."
JG: "--Kal-El story!"
TW: Bittleman shakes his head and starts typing on the keyboard at his desk. Cut to Clark walking into the bullpen and over to his and Lois's desks, looking thoroughly depressed. "Hey, Lois. Ted."
JG: Bittleman looks up and just grunts before going back to his typing, but Lois spares him a few words. "Oh, hey, Clark. What's up?"
ED: Clark's got his jacket on by now, doesn't he?
TW: Yes, Erica, the arm porn is over.
ED: Aww.
TW: So Clark goes, "Lois, what do you know about those armored soldiers of Lex's?"
JG: Lois frowns. "Not much. I had a tape of one of them at the Slab, but it got erased before I could do anything with it."
TW: Cut to Bittleman interjecting, "Because someone was stupid."
ED: It wasn't her fault!
JG: As if that matters.
MR: Come on, make it "galactically stupid"!
ED: Shut up!
TW: Back to Clark as he nods. "Do you think you can find out anything about them?"
JG: Lois shrugs. "Other than that they're Stormtroopers with a color swap? Tell you what--if we find out that they're all really clones of some angsty dead mercenary, you're first on my speed-dial. But right now, we've got an article to work on."
AM [after a few seconds]: You just couldn't stop at the Neo bit, could you?
[TW points at JG. JG chuckles]
AoT: Oh, that figures.
JG: Bittleman pipes up again. "Yes, we do have an article to work on."
TW: Clark leans over Lois's desk and whispers at her. "I know now, by the way."
JG: Lois looks typically confused, and also lowers her voice. "You know what?"
TW: "Chloe. And Lana. She told me."
JG: Lois thinks for a minute--or ten, shut up, John--and finally looks suitably remorseful. "I'm sorry, Clark. But I couldn't tell anyone...not even you. Definitely not after the whole death thing. I had to protect Chloe."
TW: "You had to protect her from me?"
JG: "From everyone, Clark. Perhaps most of all, I don't know, your BFF Lex? He kind of started it, after all. I'm sorry, but it was for everyone's own good."
AM: Yes! Positive reinforcement!
MR: Oh, bullshiiit.
TW: Clark looks pissed. "Well, it doesn't matter now. Lex knows."
ED: And Lionel. What about him?
JG: He's got bigger problems to deal with. "What? Oh, that's just great." Lois scowls and bends over her keyboard as Clark turns and walks out of the bullpen.
MR: Can Lex flip out and come kill Lois?
TW: No.
MR: Goddammit, Tom.
TW: Cut to outside the bullpen as Clark heads for the stairs, and then his cellphone rings. He stops, fishes it out of his pocket, and answers it. "Hello?"
JG: And we hear Pete Ross's voice. "Hey, Clark, it's Pete."
AM [amazed]: Pete? Seriously?
KK: Okay, how the hell did you pull that off?
TW: Clark's face brightens almost immediately. "Pete! Hi!"
JG: And we cut to the Talon, where Pete is sitting at a table by the front window with a big grin on his face and a phone at his ear. "I got your message, Clark. I suppose even men of steel need a friend sometimes, huh?"
TW: Back to Clark as, for the first time in the episode, he looks happy and relieved. Some light, chipper music hits in the background while this happens.
AM: Saving it for the end of the episode? So Pete gets to help Clark out in the next ep?
TW: You....could say that.
JG: Cut to Lionel's office. Lionel is sitting at his desk, hands steepled in front of his face, and we do a slow zoom on said handsome face while some quietly dramatic music cues up. What we can see of it appears to look very concerned about something.
ED: He looks concerned about everything.
JG: It's a gift.
TW: Lionel looks up slightly as his face is illuminated by a brief red glow, and we cut to a reverse shot of the desk. Martian Manhunter is standing in the middle of the office. "Lionel Luthor. Kal-El said you wished to speak with me."
KK: Okay, when--oh, never mind.
JG: Lionel leans back in his chair, hands still steepled in front of his face. "Thank you for coming, J'onn. I wanted to talk to you about something that's been on my mind."
TW: "The safety of Earth."
JG: "Well, yes. I...I'm increasingly convinced that Clark will not be of any help to us."
AoT: He's been helpful before?
TW: MM looks puzzled. "I do not understand. Kal-El is the strongest being on Earth, and he cares about it as much as any human. Why would he not help defend it?"
JG: "Well...the problem is that he's not infallible. There are some traits he has picked up here, and one of them is the ability to feel--or rather to feel too much--when something affects him personally. And that can drive him to impulsive acts that may very well undermine any efforts we undertake." Lionel pauses for a moment. "For instance, finding out that the woman he loved had been killed by his best friend."
TW: More puzzled MM. "Lana Luthor was killed by--"
JG: "Chloe Sullivan, yes, yes."
AM: And yet she's still getting onscreen and getting laid.
KK: Oh, shut up.
JG: "And if Clark doesn't know about it yet, he will shortly. This will no doubt affect him deeply--as well as his ability to help defend Earth."
TW: MM considers that for a moment. "Humans often demonstrate an ability to compartmentalize deep emotional wounds in order to achieve objectives. I have seen Kal-El do this. I fail to understand how this situation will be any different."
JG: Lionel leans to one side slightly, still with his hands steepled in front of his face.
ED: Okay, what's with the supervillain schtick? You couldn't find a white cat?
AoT: I was about to ask about that myself.
TW: We're getting to that.
AoT: Whenever you say that, I worry.
JG: "The situation is far graver than it has ever been, J'onn. Clark will fall into a deep depression, and be unable to fight, and where does that get us? You yourself said Darkseid is coming, this time with much more than a mere expeditionary force, and our most powerful weapon would be out of commission--or, worse yet, that weapon might do something that could hurt us as much as it could hurt Darkseid."
KK: Okay, that's a pretty blatant Clark diss. And I know John enjoys those. Tom, you hypocritical son of a--
JG: One, it's typically accurate, and two--temporary immunity. Hush. "Humanity itself is at stake, J'onn. For better or worse I have become the person who must do what needs to be done in order to ensure the survival of our entire planet."
MR: What about Lex?
JG: What about him?
MR: This sucks!
TW: Slow zoom on MM as he looks past Lionel for a second, then looks at him again. "What exactly must be done, Lionel Luthor?"
JG: Reverse shot, slow zoom on Lionel as he reaches with one hand for a control on his desk that is basically a red button with wires coming out of its base. "This."
TW: Back to the slow zoom on MM, as he notices the button. Cut to a shot of the wires trailing down in front of Lionel's desk, then back to the slow zoom as MM follows them with his eyes off to camera-right, then over to one of the walls--where one of the lightning-rod things from the last episode is now placed. Then a reverse shot as MM looks the other way, to see the other lightning-rod thing against the opposite wall, and finally back to the slow zoom on MM as it ends with his eyes widening in surprise.
JG: And then we cut to Lionel pushing the button.
TW: The lightning rods crank up, and we cut to a wide shot of the room as they both emit a sort of bluish-green chain lightning. The usual electrical noises fill the room, lightning strikes MM from both sides and he begins convulsing, almost immediately collapsing to his knees.
AM+ED: What the hell?
MR: Lionel is sending MM back to the Phantom Zone?
TW: ...not quite. Closeup on MM, his face twisted up in pain as he is electrocuted, and he slowly begins to get back on his feet.
JG: Cut to Lionel. "Otis."
TW: Back to the wide room shot, as Otis steps out of the alcove Lionel's vault is in holding some sort of absurdly large weapon. It looks like one of the ones Hasaad's thugs were toting around back in Exit. Cut to a reverse shot of Otis firing the weapon at MM, from behind, and MM gets hit by a big bolt of green energy and falls to the floor.
KK: Okay, Lionel's pissed about being used as Jor-El's emissary and decided to take it out on MM?
JG: Lionel finally rises from his chair, taking something from the far side of his desk and holding it behind his back. Pull back as he walks to stand in front of MM. "I'm so sorry, J'onn. This isn't personal...I had hopes it wouldn't get this far. But after Lobo failed to capture Clark..."
TW: Quick cut to MM looking up at Lionel, bleeding heavily from a wound in his chest. He manages to get out through gritted teeth, "You....you...."
JG: Lionel looks momentarily regretful. "But, to be blunt: the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. The needs of Earth...are far more important than the needs of one man. Or two men."
[everyone is silent for a few seconds]
KK [screams]: OH, JESUS CHRIST, TOM!
MR: Lionel is quoting Spock while killing someone?
KK: NOOOOOOO!
ED [winces]: Dammit, Kristin, my ears!
AoT [astonished]: I...that...
AM: Holy shit...that's--
MR: That's awesome! That's...fucking...awesome! [to JG] I am not worthy!
[KK bangs her head on the table repeatedly]
AM: Lionel would never resort to a Star Trek quote, would he? [points at KK] But, hey, if it means we get that--go for it, guys.
KK: You...all...suck...so...much!
AoT [to JG]: Please tell me that wasn't your idea.
TW: His contribution is coming up.
JG: We switch to a from-below shot as Lionel brings one hand out from behind his back, revealing the thing he took from his desk--a large alien-looking pistol--and levels it at MM's head, slightly off-camera-right. "Clark is potentially a loose cannon of the worst kind, and he must be dealt with. Especially if it means that Darkseid's threat can be dealt with at the same time. And if it means anything, J'onn, I'm sorry. Sort of." And he fires, the pistol goes "choom," a green ball of energy zips off-camera, and whatever noises MM was making offscreen abruptly stop.
[everyone is silent for a few more seconds]
JG: What, you all never watched Brimstone?
AoT: So...Lionel has gone completely insane.
JG: It's fashionable in this episode. But he's always been a--
KK [weakly]: ...you...fucking...bastards...
JG: See?
Continued...
AoT: Well. Another long weekend for me, I guess. Fine. I'm assuming, Tom, that you'll soothe this insult by making sure--
TW: Don't say it, Annette. Don't say it. I know, okay?
AoT: Just making sure.
JG: Believe me, Annette--he knows.
AM [to AoT]: How fast can you get "Never shall we die" T-shirts made up?
AoT: I'll check later.
TW [grumbles]: So...the last scene in the episode opens with Lois and Bittleman in the bullpen at the Daily Planet.
ED: Post-mindwipe Lois. This sucks.
TW: Bittleman is thus a little cranky. "God, Major Blonde, how many times did I tell you--take a backup copy, not the master! How the hell did your friend erase the tape?"
JG: Lois throws up her hands. "I have no idea! Damn, there goes my big--"
TW: "Don't say it."
JG: "--Kal-El story!"
TW: Bittleman shakes his head and starts typing on the keyboard at his desk. Cut to Clark walking into the bullpen and over to his and Lois's desks, looking thoroughly depressed. "Hey, Lois. Ted."
JG: Bittleman looks up and just grunts before going back to his typing, but Lois spares him a few words. "Oh, hey, Clark. What's up?"
ED: Clark's got his jacket on by now, doesn't he?
TW: Yes, Erica, the arm porn is over.
ED: Aww.
TW: So Clark goes, "Lois, what do you know about those armored soldiers of Lex's?"
JG: Lois frowns. "Not much. I had a tape of one of them at the Slab, but it got erased before I could do anything with it."
TW: Cut to Bittleman interjecting, "Because someone was stupid."
ED: It wasn't her fault!
JG: As if that matters.
MR: Come on, make it "galactically stupid"!
ED: Shut up!
TW: Back to Clark as he nods. "Do you think you can find out anything about them?"
JG: Lois shrugs. "Other than that they're Stormtroopers with a color swap? Tell you what--if we find out that they're all really clones of some angsty dead mercenary, you're first on my speed-dial. But right now, we've got an article to work on."
AM [after a few seconds]: You just couldn't stop at the Neo bit, could you?
[TW points at JG. JG chuckles]
AoT: Oh, that figures.
JG: Bittleman pipes up again. "Yes, we do have an article to work on."
TW: Clark leans over Lois's desk and whispers at her. "I know now, by the way."
JG: Lois looks typically confused, and also lowers her voice. "You know what?"
TW: "Chloe. And Lana. She told me."
JG: Lois thinks for a minute--or ten, shut up, John--and finally looks suitably remorseful. "I'm sorry, Clark. But I couldn't tell anyone...not even you. Definitely not after the whole death thing. I had to protect Chloe."
TW: "You had to protect her from me?"
JG: "From everyone, Clark. Perhaps most of all, I don't know, your BFF Lex? He kind of started it, after all. I'm sorry, but it was for everyone's own good."
AM: Yes! Positive reinforcement!
MR: Oh, bullshiiit.
TW: Clark looks pissed. "Well, it doesn't matter now. Lex knows."
ED: And Lionel. What about him?
JG: He's got bigger problems to deal with. "What? Oh, that's just great." Lois scowls and bends over her keyboard as Clark turns and walks out of the bullpen.
MR: Can Lex flip out and come kill Lois?
TW: No.
MR: Goddammit, Tom.
TW: Cut to outside the bullpen as Clark heads for the stairs, and then his cellphone rings. He stops, fishes it out of his pocket, and answers it. "Hello?"
JG: And we hear Pete Ross's voice. "Hey, Clark, it's Pete."
AM [amazed]: Pete? Seriously?
KK: Okay, how the hell did you pull that off?
TW: Clark's face brightens almost immediately. "Pete! Hi!"
JG: And we cut to the Talon, where Pete is sitting at a table by the front window with a big grin on his face and a phone at his ear. "I got your message, Clark. I suppose even men of steel need a friend sometimes, huh?"
TW: Back to Clark as, for the first time in the episode, he looks happy and relieved. Some light, chipper music hits in the background while this happens.
AM: Saving it for the end of the episode? So Pete gets to help Clark out in the next ep?
TW: You....could say that.
JG: Cut to Lionel's office. Lionel is sitting at his desk, hands steepled in front of his face, and we do a slow zoom on said handsome face while some quietly dramatic music cues up. What we can see of it appears to look very concerned about something.
ED: He looks concerned about everything.
JG: It's a gift.
TW: Lionel looks up slightly as his face is illuminated by a brief red glow, and we cut to a reverse shot of the desk. Martian Manhunter is standing in the middle of the office. "Lionel Luthor. Kal-El said you wished to speak with me."
KK: Okay, when--oh, never mind.
JG: Lionel leans back in his chair, hands still steepled in front of his face. "Thank you for coming, J'onn. I wanted to talk to you about something that's been on my mind."
TW: "The safety of Earth."
JG: "Well, yes. I...I'm increasingly convinced that Clark will not be of any help to us."
AoT: He's been helpful before?
TW: MM looks puzzled. "I do not understand. Kal-El is the strongest being on Earth, and he cares about it as much as any human. Why would he not help defend it?"
JG: "Well...the problem is that he's not infallible. There are some traits he has picked up here, and one of them is the ability to feel--or rather to feel too much--when something affects him personally. And that can drive him to impulsive acts that may very well undermine any efforts we undertake." Lionel pauses for a moment. "For instance, finding out that the woman he loved had been killed by his best friend."
TW: More puzzled MM. "Lana Luthor was killed by--"
JG: "Chloe Sullivan, yes, yes."
AM: And yet she's still getting onscreen and getting laid.
KK: Oh, shut up.
JG: "And if Clark doesn't know about it yet, he will shortly. This will no doubt affect him deeply--as well as his ability to help defend Earth."
TW: MM considers that for a moment. "Humans often demonstrate an ability to compartmentalize deep emotional wounds in order to achieve objectives. I have seen Kal-El do this. I fail to understand how this situation will be any different."
JG: Lionel leans to one side slightly, still with his hands steepled in front of his face.
ED: Okay, what's with the supervillain schtick? You couldn't find a white cat?
AoT: I was about to ask about that myself.
TW: We're getting to that.
AoT: Whenever you say that, I worry.
JG: "The situation is far graver than it has ever been, J'onn. Clark will fall into a deep depression, and be unable to fight, and where does that get us? You yourself said Darkseid is coming, this time with much more than a mere expeditionary force, and our most powerful weapon would be out of commission--or, worse yet, that weapon might do something that could hurt us as much as it could hurt Darkseid."
KK: Okay, that's a pretty blatant Clark diss. And I know John enjoys those. Tom, you hypocritical son of a--
JG: One, it's typically accurate, and two--temporary immunity. Hush. "Humanity itself is at stake, J'onn. For better or worse I have become the person who must do what needs to be done in order to ensure the survival of our entire planet."
MR: What about Lex?
JG: What about him?
MR: This sucks!
TW: Slow zoom on MM as he looks past Lionel for a second, then looks at him again. "What exactly must be done, Lionel Luthor?"
JG: Reverse shot, slow zoom on Lionel as he reaches with one hand for a control on his desk that is basically a red button with wires coming out of its base. "This."
TW: Back to the slow zoom on MM, as he notices the button. Cut to a shot of the wires trailing down in front of Lionel's desk, then back to the slow zoom as MM follows them with his eyes off to camera-right, then over to one of the walls--where one of the lightning-rod things from the last episode is now placed. Then a reverse shot as MM looks the other way, to see the other lightning-rod thing against the opposite wall, and finally back to the slow zoom on MM as it ends with his eyes widening in surprise.
JG: And then we cut to Lionel pushing the button.
TW: The lightning rods crank up, and we cut to a wide shot of the room as they both emit a sort of bluish-green chain lightning. The usual electrical noises fill the room, lightning strikes MM from both sides and he begins convulsing, almost immediately collapsing to his knees.
AM+ED: What the hell?
MR: Lionel is sending MM back to the Phantom Zone?
TW: ...not quite. Closeup on MM, his face twisted up in pain as he is electrocuted, and he slowly begins to get back on his feet.
JG: Cut to Lionel. "Otis."
TW: Back to the wide room shot, as Otis steps out of the alcove Lionel's vault is in holding some sort of absurdly large weapon. It looks like one of the ones Hasaad's thugs were toting around back in Exit. Cut to a reverse shot of Otis firing the weapon at MM, from behind, and MM gets hit by a big bolt of green energy and falls to the floor.
KK: Okay, Lionel's pissed about being used as Jor-El's emissary and decided to take it out on MM?
JG: Lionel finally rises from his chair, taking something from the far side of his desk and holding it behind his back. Pull back as he walks to stand in front of MM. "I'm so sorry, J'onn. This isn't personal...I had hopes it wouldn't get this far. But after Lobo failed to capture Clark..."
TW: Quick cut to MM looking up at Lionel, bleeding heavily from a wound in his chest. He manages to get out through gritted teeth, "You....you...."
JG: Lionel looks momentarily regretful. "But, to be blunt: the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. The needs of Earth...are far more important than the needs of one man. Or two men."
[everyone is silent for a few seconds]
KK [screams]: OH, JESUS CHRIST, TOM!
MR: Lionel is quoting Spock while killing someone?
KK: NOOOOOOO!
ED [winces]: Dammit, Kristin, my ears!
AoT [astonished]: I...that...
AM: Holy shit...that's--
MR: That's awesome! That's...fucking...awesome! [to JG] I am not worthy!
[KK bangs her head on the table repeatedly]
AM: Lionel would never resort to a Star Trek quote, would he? [points at KK] But, hey, if it means we get that--go for it, guys.
KK: You...all...suck...so...much!
AoT [to JG]: Please tell me that wasn't your idea.
TW: His contribution is coming up.
JG: We switch to a from-below shot as Lionel brings one hand out from behind his back, revealing the thing he took from his desk--a large alien-looking pistol--and levels it at MM's head, slightly off-camera-right. "Clark is potentially a loose cannon of the worst kind, and he must be dealt with. Especially if it means that Darkseid's threat can be dealt with at the same time. And if it means anything, J'onn, I'm sorry. Sort of." And he fires, the pistol goes "choom," a green ball of energy zips off-camera, and whatever noises MM was making offscreen abruptly stop.
[everyone is silent for a few more seconds]
JG: What, you all never watched Brimstone?
AoT: So...Lionel has gone completely insane.
JG: It's fashionable in this episode. But he's always been a--
KK [weakly]: ...you...fucking...bastards...
JG: See?
Continued...
7.19 Confession (Part X) by TW and JG
as retold by Bill C
AoT: I'm assuming that Lois and Evelyn's short-term memories were erased and they weren't lobotomized...
KK: Go ahead, lobotomize her. Then Lex can use her as a sex toy.
JG: I tried to get Tom to make Chloe regress Lois back to childhood, but he wouldn't hear of it.
TW: I told you, John, the last thing we need is another story with someone who's lost most of their memories. It's beyond overdone.
KK: I hate to say it, but Tom's right. Hell, at this point we might as well bring in a Cousin Oliver and wipe their brain just to milk it for all it's worth.
MR: Can the Cousin Oliver be hot?
TW+JG: No.
MR: Shit.
JG: So after Chloe--
ED: Hold it! Chloe just wiped the last few minutes of their memories, right?
JG: Right.
ED: But she didn't touch the videotape! So when they wake up and see the tape...
[Everybody looks at TW]
TW: Okay, yeah, I forgot about that. [scribbles in script] So...Chloe, after taking care of Lois and Evelyn.....she...proceeds to wipe the videotape.
[Everybody but TW looks at ED]
MR: Erica, you picked the wrong time to be intelligent.
ED [smacks the tabletop]: God damn it!
JG: And on that positive note, we cut back to the Luthor study. Lex stalks in through the main doors, flexing his punching hand. He stops about six paces into the room, looking off-camera-left, and we pan over to see Lionel sitting at the desk. "Hello, son."
MR: Iron Lex doesn't need this shit right now. "Hi, Dad." He looks at his watch. "Let me guess. You couldn't sleep, so you're up surfing the Internet for dates."
AM: Please. He'd just be looking at Martha's blog and webcam on MySpace.
AoT: As he should.
JG: Lionel shakes his head. "Lex, there's a time for levity and this isn't it. I found something out tonight...and I thought you should know about it."
MR: "That's funny. I found something out too. I found out that Clark is a mutant."
JG: Lionel, as always, looks thoughtful. "I see. And you came about this information how?"
MR: "A security camera outside the wine cellar." Lex narrows his eyes at Lionel. "You don't seem very surprised to hear that your adopted other son is a mutant, Dad."
JG: Lionel leans back in the chair. "To be honest, I'm not."
MR: Closeup on Lex as he absorbs that. Then looks surprised. "How long have you known?"
AM: Oh, about three years. Give or take a week.
JG: As if it would be that easy. "I just found out tonight, actually."
MR: And now Lex's "riiiight" face. "And how did you find out?"
JG: Extreme closeup on the mini-CD from earlier being held in mid-air, then pull back to show Lionel is holding it. "I think you may find this...enlightening."
TW: Music swells as we go to commercial.
MR: What? Oh no. Oh hell no! You are not going to skip over Lex finding out Chloe killed Lana!
AM: Skip it! Skip it!
AoT: We don't need another flashback. Skip it.
KK: Skip the fuck out of it!
MR: Shut up! Lex was married to Lana! He needs a scene where he flips out over this!
JG [to TW]: Told you.
TW: Yeah, yeah. [to MR] Okay, look. You can have a Lex-flips-out scene now, before this commercial break, or later. The catch is that if you have your scene now, that's it.
MR: And if it's later?
TW: It's different. It still happens, but it's different.
MR [flips through script]: There's no "now" scene in here!
TW: Well, no.
MR: You know what? Fuck it, let's go with this "later" scene. Just to see how you're going to cheat Lex out of this.
AM: Careful what you wish for, Michael.
TW: Okay. So we come back from commercials on a morning shot of the farm--
AoT: For God's sake, Tom, another shot of the farm?
TW: Don't worry. This is the last time. The establishing shot, then cut to Clark pushing a tractor behind the barn.
ED: Wifebeater?
TW: Blue T-shirt.
ED: Still got arm porn. I'm good.
TW: Clark finishes moving the tractor, then we go to a--
MR+ED+AoT+AM+KK [sing-song]: Tracking shot!
TW: --swear to God, the last one, of him walking around the side of the barn and then stopping as he notices something off-camera.
JG: Cut to a ground-level shot of Lex's black convertible roaring up the access road and skidding to a sideways stop from high speed. Cut again as Lex all but lunges out of the car and power-walks up to Clark, looking pissed and a little crazed--which fits, considering he's still wearing the clothes he had on the night before.
MR: He's not drunk, is he?
JG: No, just crazy.
MR: Okay, I'll take it from here. "Where's Chloe?"
TW: Clark: "I have no idea, Lex. You could call her--"
MR: Lex pulls a pistol from inside his jacket and levels it at Clark's head. "Dammit, where's Chloe?"
ED [surprised]: Okay. This isn't boring.
TW: Clark is now surprised. "Lex, what the hell are you doing?"
MR: Lex moves the gun slightly to the right and puts a round into the barn wall, just to one side of Clark's head. [to TW] Okay, okay, not bad so far.
TW: Clark flinches a bit. "What the--"
MR: "Damn you, Clark Kent! Damn you, you...you freak! You were there! You saw it all!"
TW: "I saw what? Where--wh-what?"
MR: "Don't you dare lie to me, dammit! I know it all now!" Crazy laugh. "You couldn't stop at just keeping your own secrets, you had to keep hers too?"
TW: Clark spreads his arms a bit. "Lex, calm down. What are you talking about?"
MR: "I'm talking about Chloe and Lana, Clark! You're going to continue to stand there and lie to my face?!?"
TW: "Lie about what?"
AoT+KK+AM: Everything.
MR: "You bastard! You saw Chloe kill Lana!"
TW: Clark goes from angry surprise to shock in about two seconds. "Chloe did what?"
MR: Lex puts another bullet in the barn wall on the other side of Clark's head. "She killed Lana! I saw the security video! She killed my wife and you saw her do it and you didn't do anything to stop her!"
ED: Well, Chloe did kind of throw Clark into the wall at the time.
AoT: Ceiling.
ED: Whatever.
TW: Closeup on Clark as he half-turns away from Lex, looking down at the ground. "Chloe......she killed Lana? But--but she--"
MR: "Oh, for God's sake, Clark--stop playing the fool, you're horrible at it. I finally know the truth about you, and about how she died, and I swear to God--" Lex makes a sweeping motion with his free hand. Huh?
TW: Cut to a frontal shot of Clark as he turns back to face Lex, looking stricken--and then a huge green blur rushes in from camera-left and sweeps him away. Hold on the now empty shot for a couple of seconds, then pan right to show three Spartans holding Clark by the arms and neck against a metal pole.
AM: Lex is crazy, but smart enough to bring along backup?
MR: Hell yeah! "I swear to God, if you don't tell me where Chloe is right now--"
TW: "Lex, I have no idea where she is! And where did you get the idea she had anything to do with Lana's death? Someone must have been trying to set her up! How the hell can I believe you?"
MR: Cut to an over-the-shoulder shot of Clark that pans into a profile shot as Lex walks up to him and puts the gun under his chin. "You may be faster than a speeding bullet, Clark--but only if the bullet has to spend the time to get to your skull."
KK [groans]: Oh, God!
AM: That's just bad.
AoT: Which is the Smallville way.
JG: Isn't it, though?
AM: Smallville. Bad to the bone since 2001.
JG: Cut to a closeup of Lex holding the gun under Clark's chin, and then Chloe's voice rings out. "I'm right here, Lex." Lex almost immediately spins around with the gun out, and the camera pans over fast to Chloe--who is now standing in almost the exact spot Clark was at before the Spartans jumped him.
MR: Lex's face is all twisted up in rage. "You!"
AM: Okay. Chloe nods slowly. "I heard you were looking for me."
MR: "You killed Lana."
AM: "That's right. I did it. I don't remember doing it, though. But I'm guessing that security recording wasn't erased after all."
KK: When did she find out Lois erased the original recording?
AoT: Damnable Offscreenville.
MR: Cue outraged and astonished Lex. "What do you mean 'you don't remember'? You don't remember killing my wife, but you admit you did it?!?"
TW: Pan past Lex to Clark as his mouth drops open. "Chloe? You...you did--"
AM: Chloe looks very sad. Which is a lie, but hey. "I'm sorry, Clark. Lois and I broke into LuthorCorp before I...well, before."
ED: Before the dark times. Before Caprica.
AM: Yeah, close enough. "And that's where I saw the security video. The thing is that I don't remember anything from a little before...killing her...to a couple of minutes later, when Clark took me out of there."
MR: "Lois knows?!?" Lex's voice cracks? Oh, come on, don't make him that crazy!
JG: Hey, you wanted a Lex freakout.
MR: I wanted a manly freakout! With lots of alcohol and brooding to nu-rock music!
AoT: We don't always get what we want.
JG: Well, I come closer than most, but still.
MR [sighs]: Lex looks away for a minute, eyes scrunched shut with just a hint of man-tears--and then he looks at Chloe, levels the gun, and pulls the trigger. Repeatedly. "Damn you!"
KK: Yeah, that's really going to do something.
TW: And we cut to a three-quarter shot of Chloe holding up a hand and stopping the bullets in midair about a foot from her body as Lex burns through the rest of the bullets in his gun. When he's done, we cut back to him still pointing the empty gun, then back to Chloe as she drops her hand and the bullets fall to the ground in front of her.
AM [after a beat]: You did not just turn Chloe into Neo.
JG: After the Matrix line earlier, it seemed appropriate.
AM [thinks]: Okay, fine.
ED [to AM]: You're kidding.
AM: If Chloe is Neo, then that makes Clark her Trinity. Cool--well, in his way--but in the end pretty much useless.
KK: Okay, I'm impressed.
AM: Thank you.
MR: Can we get back to the freakout, please?
AM: Sorry.
MR: Lex lowers the now empty gun, eyes wild, then turns and yells at the Spartans. "Take her!"
ED: Over the tractor!
KK: In the loft!
JG: Cut to Chloe looking almost bemusedly at Lex, then to the Spartans as they slowly let go of Clark. Back to Chloe as she raises her hand again, then back to Lex looking back and forth from Chloe to the Spartans, and finally to the Spartans as they do this fist-to-chest salute to Chloe and growl through those damn vocoders, "Never shall we die."
AM: Oh, sweet! I finally have a catchphrase!
KK: I guess we'll have to call you Captain Sullivan now.
ED: Or the Dove Lady.
MR: Pirates of the Corn Belt?
TW: And at this point the Spartans all fly off. Cut to Clark looking after them, thoroughly confused, then to Lex furious but with that I-should-have-known look on his face--and finally to Chloe, who now looks plenty pissed in her own right. She walks up to Lex, winds up a little, and smacks the taste out of his mouth.
MR: What? This is Lex's freakout!
AM: Yeah, well...in Soviet Kansas, bitch slaps you.
ED: Did you hear they want to remake Red Dawn? That's going to suck so bad...
KK: Hey, if the Bikini Justice thing falls through you can try for that.
ED: ...That's right, I can!
AM: Chloe gets her own rant on.
ED: Wolveriiiiines!
AM: That's not it. "Lex, I should be sorry about Lana. I should be. But I'm not. And do you know why? Because you're responsible. You experimented on me in the first place, you bastard. You opened Pandora's box, all on your own. I have no idea what the hell led to her death in earnest, Lex, except your grand plan to save humanity by screwing with a tiny little piece of it."
TW: At this point Clark walks up next to Lex, still looking confused. "Chloe, I--"
AM: "Clark, I know. God, I know. I should have told you. But I didn't. And I'm only a little sorry about that, pretty much because of what just happened in the last ninety seconds." She goes back to looking at Lex. "Lana didn't have to die. But you had to go screwing around in the name of 'the greater good.'"
KK: This is another semi-irrational freakout, isn't it?
AM: It's plenty rational, thank you.
TW: We switch to a wide shot as Chloe finally looks a little sad at Lex, then takes off and flies away. Cut to a frontal shot of Lex and Clark, Lex's face a mixture of rage and sorrow and Clark's--
AoT: The usual.
KK: "What the hell just happened?"
ED: "Uhhh..."
MR: You totally killed Lex's freakout! That's bullshit!
AM: And I'm so glad you did. Thanks, guys.
TW: Lex then turns and stomps off back to his car, and we go to a three-quarter overhead shot as he pulls out and roars away--leaving Clark alone in the center of the shot. And go to commercials.
MR: Bullshit!
Continued...
AoT: I'm assuming that Lois and Evelyn's short-term memories were erased and they weren't lobotomized...
KK: Go ahead, lobotomize her. Then Lex can use her as a sex toy.
JG: I tried to get Tom to make Chloe regress Lois back to childhood, but he wouldn't hear of it.
TW: I told you, John, the last thing we need is another story with someone who's lost most of their memories. It's beyond overdone.
KK: I hate to say it, but Tom's right. Hell, at this point we might as well bring in a Cousin Oliver and wipe their brain just to milk it for all it's worth.
MR: Can the Cousin Oliver be hot?
TW+JG: No.
MR: Shit.
JG: So after Chloe--
ED: Hold it! Chloe just wiped the last few minutes of their memories, right?
JG: Right.
ED: But she didn't touch the videotape! So when they wake up and see the tape...
[Everybody looks at TW]
TW: Okay, yeah, I forgot about that. [scribbles in script] So...Chloe, after taking care of Lois and Evelyn.....she...proceeds to wipe the videotape.
[Everybody but TW looks at ED]
MR: Erica, you picked the wrong time to be intelligent.
ED [smacks the tabletop]: God damn it!
JG: And on that positive note, we cut back to the Luthor study. Lex stalks in through the main doors, flexing his punching hand. He stops about six paces into the room, looking off-camera-left, and we pan over to see Lionel sitting at the desk. "Hello, son."
MR: Iron Lex doesn't need this shit right now. "Hi, Dad." He looks at his watch. "Let me guess. You couldn't sleep, so you're up surfing the Internet for dates."
AM: Please. He'd just be looking at Martha's blog and webcam on MySpace.
AoT: As he should.
JG: Lionel shakes his head. "Lex, there's a time for levity and this isn't it. I found something out tonight...and I thought you should know about it."
MR: "That's funny. I found something out too. I found out that Clark is a mutant."
JG: Lionel, as always, looks thoughtful. "I see. And you came about this information how?"
MR: "A security camera outside the wine cellar." Lex narrows his eyes at Lionel. "You don't seem very surprised to hear that your adopted other son is a mutant, Dad."
JG: Lionel leans back in the chair. "To be honest, I'm not."
MR: Closeup on Lex as he absorbs that. Then looks surprised. "How long have you known?"
AM: Oh, about three years. Give or take a week.
JG: As if it would be that easy. "I just found out tonight, actually."
MR: And now Lex's "riiiight" face. "And how did you find out?"
JG: Extreme closeup on the mini-CD from earlier being held in mid-air, then pull back to show Lionel is holding it. "I think you may find this...enlightening."
TW: Music swells as we go to commercial.
MR: What? Oh no. Oh hell no! You are not going to skip over Lex finding out Chloe killed Lana!
AM: Skip it! Skip it!
AoT: We don't need another flashback. Skip it.
KK: Skip the fuck out of it!
MR: Shut up! Lex was married to Lana! He needs a scene where he flips out over this!
JG [to TW]: Told you.
TW: Yeah, yeah. [to MR] Okay, look. You can have a Lex-flips-out scene now, before this commercial break, or later. The catch is that if you have your scene now, that's it.
MR: And if it's later?
TW: It's different. It still happens, but it's different.
MR [flips through script]: There's no "now" scene in here!
TW: Well, no.
MR: You know what? Fuck it, let's go with this "later" scene. Just to see how you're going to cheat Lex out of this.
AM: Careful what you wish for, Michael.
TW: Okay. So we come back from commercials on a morning shot of the farm--
AoT: For God's sake, Tom, another shot of the farm?
TW: Don't worry. This is the last time. The establishing shot, then cut to Clark pushing a tractor behind the barn.
ED: Wifebeater?
TW: Blue T-shirt.
ED: Still got arm porn. I'm good.
TW: Clark finishes moving the tractor, then we go to a--
MR+ED+AoT+AM+KK [sing-song]: Tracking shot!
TW: --swear to God, the last one, of him walking around the side of the barn and then stopping as he notices something off-camera.
JG: Cut to a ground-level shot of Lex's black convertible roaring up the access road and skidding to a sideways stop from high speed. Cut again as Lex all but lunges out of the car and power-walks up to Clark, looking pissed and a little crazed--which fits, considering he's still wearing the clothes he had on the night before.
MR: He's not drunk, is he?
JG: No, just crazy.
MR: Okay, I'll take it from here. "Where's Chloe?"
TW: Clark: "I have no idea, Lex. You could call her--"
MR: Lex pulls a pistol from inside his jacket and levels it at Clark's head. "Dammit, where's Chloe?"
ED [surprised]: Okay. This isn't boring.
TW: Clark is now surprised. "Lex, what the hell are you doing?"
MR: Lex moves the gun slightly to the right and puts a round into the barn wall, just to one side of Clark's head. [to TW] Okay, okay, not bad so far.
TW: Clark flinches a bit. "What the--"
MR: "Damn you, Clark Kent! Damn you, you...you freak! You were there! You saw it all!"
TW: "I saw what? Where--wh-what?"
MR: "Don't you dare lie to me, dammit! I know it all now!" Crazy laugh. "You couldn't stop at just keeping your own secrets, you had to keep hers too?"
TW: Clark spreads his arms a bit. "Lex, calm down. What are you talking about?"
MR: "I'm talking about Chloe and Lana, Clark! You're going to continue to stand there and lie to my face?!?"
TW: "Lie about what?"
AoT+KK+AM: Everything.
MR: "You bastard! You saw Chloe kill Lana!"
TW: Clark goes from angry surprise to shock in about two seconds. "Chloe did what?"
MR: Lex puts another bullet in the barn wall on the other side of Clark's head. "She killed Lana! I saw the security video! She killed my wife and you saw her do it and you didn't do anything to stop her!"
ED: Well, Chloe did kind of throw Clark into the wall at the time.
AoT: Ceiling.
ED: Whatever.
TW: Closeup on Clark as he half-turns away from Lex, looking down at the ground. "Chloe......she killed Lana? But--but she--"
MR: "Oh, for God's sake, Clark--stop playing the fool, you're horrible at it. I finally know the truth about you, and about how she died, and I swear to God--" Lex makes a sweeping motion with his free hand. Huh?
TW: Cut to a frontal shot of Clark as he turns back to face Lex, looking stricken--and then a huge green blur rushes in from camera-left and sweeps him away. Hold on the now empty shot for a couple of seconds, then pan right to show three Spartans holding Clark by the arms and neck against a metal pole.
AM: Lex is crazy, but smart enough to bring along backup?
MR: Hell yeah! "I swear to God, if you don't tell me where Chloe is right now--"
TW: "Lex, I have no idea where she is! And where did you get the idea she had anything to do with Lana's death? Someone must have been trying to set her up! How the hell can I believe you?"
MR: Cut to an over-the-shoulder shot of Clark that pans into a profile shot as Lex walks up to him and puts the gun under his chin. "You may be faster than a speeding bullet, Clark--but only if the bullet has to spend the time to get to your skull."
KK [groans]: Oh, God!
AM: That's just bad.
AoT: Which is the Smallville way.
JG: Isn't it, though?
AM: Smallville. Bad to the bone since 2001.
JG: Cut to a closeup of Lex holding the gun under Clark's chin, and then Chloe's voice rings out. "I'm right here, Lex." Lex almost immediately spins around with the gun out, and the camera pans over fast to Chloe--who is now standing in almost the exact spot Clark was at before the Spartans jumped him.
MR: Lex's face is all twisted up in rage. "You!"
AM: Okay. Chloe nods slowly. "I heard you were looking for me."
MR: "You killed Lana."
AM: "That's right. I did it. I don't remember doing it, though. But I'm guessing that security recording wasn't erased after all."
KK: When did she find out Lois erased the original recording?
AoT: Damnable Offscreenville.
MR: Cue outraged and astonished Lex. "What do you mean 'you don't remember'? You don't remember killing my wife, but you admit you did it?!?"
TW: Pan past Lex to Clark as his mouth drops open. "Chloe? You...you did--"
AM: Chloe looks very sad. Which is a lie, but hey. "I'm sorry, Clark. Lois and I broke into LuthorCorp before I...well, before."
ED: Before the dark times. Before Caprica.
AM: Yeah, close enough. "And that's where I saw the security video. The thing is that I don't remember anything from a little before...killing her...to a couple of minutes later, when Clark took me out of there."
MR: "Lois knows?!?" Lex's voice cracks? Oh, come on, don't make him that crazy!
JG: Hey, you wanted a Lex freakout.
MR: I wanted a manly freakout! With lots of alcohol and brooding to nu-rock music!
AoT: We don't always get what we want.
JG: Well, I come closer than most, but still.
MR [sighs]: Lex looks away for a minute, eyes scrunched shut with just a hint of man-tears--and then he looks at Chloe, levels the gun, and pulls the trigger. Repeatedly. "Damn you!"
KK: Yeah, that's really going to do something.
TW: And we cut to a three-quarter shot of Chloe holding up a hand and stopping the bullets in midair about a foot from her body as Lex burns through the rest of the bullets in his gun. When he's done, we cut back to him still pointing the empty gun, then back to Chloe as she drops her hand and the bullets fall to the ground in front of her.
AM [after a beat]: You did not just turn Chloe into Neo.
JG: After the Matrix line earlier, it seemed appropriate.
AM [thinks]: Okay, fine.
ED [to AM]: You're kidding.
AM: If Chloe is Neo, then that makes Clark her Trinity. Cool--well, in his way--but in the end pretty much useless.
KK: Okay, I'm impressed.
AM: Thank you.
MR: Can we get back to the freakout, please?
AM: Sorry.
MR: Lex lowers the now empty gun, eyes wild, then turns and yells at the Spartans. "Take her!"
ED: Over the tractor!
KK: In the loft!
JG: Cut to Chloe looking almost bemusedly at Lex, then to the Spartans as they slowly let go of Clark. Back to Chloe as she raises her hand again, then back to Lex looking back and forth from Chloe to the Spartans, and finally to the Spartans as they do this fist-to-chest salute to Chloe and growl through those damn vocoders, "Never shall we die."
AM: Oh, sweet! I finally have a catchphrase!
KK: I guess we'll have to call you Captain Sullivan now.
ED: Or the Dove Lady.
MR: Pirates of the Corn Belt?
TW: And at this point the Spartans all fly off. Cut to Clark looking after them, thoroughly confused, then to Lex furious but with that I-should-have-known look on his face--and finally to Chloe, who now looks plenty pissed in her own right. She walks up to Lex, winds up a little, and smacks the taste out of his mouth.
MR: What? This is Lex's freakout!
AM: Yeah, well...in Soviet Kansas, bitch slaps you.
ED: Did you hear they want to remake Red Dawn? That's going to suck so bad...
KK: Hey, if the Bikini Justice thing falls through you can try for that.
ED: ...That's right, I can!
AM: Chloe gets her own rant on.
ED: Wolveriiiiines!
AM: That's not it. "Lex, I should be sorry about Lana. I should be. But I'm not. And do you know why? Because you're responsible. You experimented on me in the first place, you bastard. You opened Pandora's box, all on your own. I have no idea what the hell led to her death in earnest, Lex, except your grand plan to save humanity by screwing with a tiny little piece of it."
TW: At this point Clark walks up next to Lex, still looking confused. "Chloe, I--"
AM: "Clark, I know. God, I know. I should have told you. But I didn't. And I'm only a little sorry about that, pretty much because of what just happened in the last ninety seconds." She goes back to looking at Lex. "Lana didn't have to die. But you had to go screwing around in the name of 'the greater good.'"
KK: This is another semi-irrational freakout, isn't it?
AM: It's plenty rational, thank you.
TW: We switch to a wide shot as Chloe finally looks a little sad at Lex, then takes off and flies away. Cut to a frontal shot of Lex and Clark, Lex's face a mixture of rage and sorrow and Clark's--
AoT: The usual.
KK: "What the hell just happened?"
ED: "Uhhh..."
MR: You totally killed Lex's freakout! That's bullshit!
AM: And I'm so glad you did. Thanks, guys.
TW: Lex then turns and stomps off back to his car, and we go to a three-quarter overhead shot as he pulls out and roars away--leaving Clark alone in the center of the shot. And go to commercials.
MR: Bullshit!
Continued...
7.19 Confession (Part IX) by TW and JG
as retold by Bill C
JG: This time we come back to Lois and Evelyn in a dimly lit room. [to MR] Not that kind of dimly-lit, one-track-mind boy.
MR: Aww.
TW: The room is full of video equipment and CRT monitors. Lois and Evelyn are seated in front of a complicated-looking console, along with a standard keyboard and a trackball.
AoT: This is the CSI: Miami part, right?
ED: Huh?
AoT [to ED]: The CSI: shows are notorious for doing what I think we're about to do in this scene.
ED: Still don't get it.
AoT: No one expects you to, dear.
TW: Evelyn is sipping on a cup of coffee, and points at the monitor directly in front of her. It's displaying a progress meter overlaid on what appears to be a still shot of the Slab; the meter is at about 97%. "Okay, the system is almost done processing the video. Took a bit longer than expected, though."
AoT: Oh, come on. The CSI: folks would have done this in about twenty seconds.
ED [snaps fingers]: Ohhh! The way they make shitty camcorder footage look like hi-def video!
JG [to AoT]: You watch CSI: Miami?
AoT [to JG]: I watch it to make fun of David Caruso's Botox injections.
JG [nods]: What else is there to watch on that show?
AoT: Well, there is that Delko fellow...
JG: Oh, right.
ED: Can Lois wear a lab coat and a low-cut blouse in this scene?
TW: Why would Lois wear a lab coat?
AM: And isn't the low-cut blouse a requirement for Lois anyway?
MR: Or an unusually tight top. Either/or.
AM: Oh, right.
JG [looks at TW]: Tight top or low-cut blouse?
TW [shrugs, makes notation in script]: Tight top.
ED: Reading my stuff. All right...Lois looks at her watch. "Well, I didn't have anything else to do tonight anyway."
TW: Evelyn nods. "I think the highlight of my evening would have been feeding my cats."
JG: Shot of the progress meter as it hits 99%, then almost immediately reaches 100%. Some sort of generic alert noise goes off, and the meter disappears.
TW: Evelyn sits up in her chair. "All right...the entire recording has been processed. All we have to do is find a shot or two that you like, select it, and it'll enhance it."
ED: Lois looks at the central monitor. "Okay. Fast-forward about...um...two minutes."
TW: Evelyn slowly spins a big dial on the control console. The video on the monitor blurs by at high speed for a few seconds, with accompanying speeded-up audio, then slows down and freezes on a shot of Clark in midair being held by three Spartans while a fourth one has a fist cocked back and aimed at his stomach.
ED: "Okay, that's good. Can we enhance his head?"
MR: Clark could use a new hairstyle.
TW: Shut up. Evelyn types on the keyboard, and on the screen a small square appears around Clark's head. The square and everything in it enlarges to take up about a fifth of the screen, still blurry, and additional lines of resolution start appearing inside the square. "Okay, that'll take a minute. Any other shots?"
ED: Lois points at the screen. "Can you play it at normal speed from here?"
TW: "Sure." Evelyn hits a button and the video plays behind the square. Shaky-cam stuff, until a Spartan abruptly flies towards the video's POV and just misses it, obliterating a wooden stage nearby; the camera pans over to the remains of the stage, with the Spartan lying in the middle of it with a big chunk of its helmet missing.
ED: Lois points. She's good at that. "Wait, right there! Hold it!"
TW: Evelyn hits the button again and the video freezes. "What, that guy?"
ED: "Yeah. What can you give me on their head?"
TW: "I'm curious about that myself. I'd love to know who's crazy enough to play dress-up for Lex Luthor."
MR: Hey!
TW: More typing, another square appears around the Spartan's head and blows up, et cetera. Cut to a wide profile shot of Lois and Evelyn looking intently at the monitor for a few seconds, then back to the monitor as both video squares continue adding lines of resolution. A few more seconds, and enough lines are added to the first square to, yes, make it look like hi-def video. Which means part of Clark's head is clearly visible, but not all of it.
MR: Stupid "GreenK protective suit."
ED: Lois leans forward in her chair. "Okay...damn, not enough for a positive ID. Scratch that one--we need a shot with more of his head exposed."
TW: "Trying to line up your next date, Lois?"
ED: "Oh, shut up and start the--wait." Lois points at the other video square, which by now is almost as good-looking as the first one. "That...that looks like..."
TW: Cut to a closeup of the video square as the additional lines of resolution finish appearing, making it a fairly clear close-up of Chloe's face framed by broken helmet.
AM: Dun-dunnnn!
ED: Lois's mouth drops open in shock. "Chloe?!?"
TW: Evelyn: "Who? Who's Chloe?" She points at the screen. "That's this Chloe person? You know her?"
ED: Lois ignores her as she whips out her cellphone and speed-dials a number. Behind her, Evelyn starts tinkering with the control console.
JG: And we cut to the Chloe-cave--
MR: Do we have a name for that yet?
JG: The...Chloe-cave?
AoT: The Fortress of Sullivan?
KK: 33.2?
MR: The Pillar of Autumn?
KK: The what?
MR: Spartans? Halo? [pauses] Heathen.
AM: I kind of like "Fortress of Sullivan."
JG [sighs]: Cut to the Chloe-cave as a cellphone rings. Chloe walks into the shot and picks up said cellphone. "Yes?"
ED: Back to Lois. "Cuz', you're never going to believe what I just found out."
TW: Back-and-forth cuts between Chloe and Lois. "And you're keeping me in suspense why?"
ED: "I was checking out some footage I managed to shoot at the Slab fight, and--and there was this Spartan that got its helmet smashed, and..." Lois's voice drops to a whisper. "Chloe, it was you."
TW: And the dramatic music cranks up.
AM: Okay, reading. Chloe cautiously goes, "What do you mean it was me?"
ED: "I got a good closeup of it--it's your face! What is one of Lex's Iron Man rejects--"
MR: Hey! No dissing Iron Lex and his army!
ED: "--doing with your face? God, this is sick!"
AM: Chloe thinks for a second. "Lois, where are you?"
ED: "I'm at KTMP. Seriously, cuz'--this means Lex is an even sicker freak than we thought he was when we found out he had snatched your body! What's his obsession with you?"
MR: Lex needed a blueprint for his army of world-saving--
KK: Sex toys.
MR: Shut up!
TW: Evelyn catches that last part. "What?"
ED: "Nothing! Now, cuz', I...hello? Hellooooo?" She looks at the phone. "She hung up on me?"
TW: "Lois, who were you talking to?"
ED: Over-the-shoulder shot of Evelyn looking at Lois as she turns around. "Uh...nobody."
TW: We hear the super-speed noise under Lois's last comment, followed by Chloe's voice: "Well, damn." Both Lois and Evelyn suddenly look off-camera-left as Chloe speaks, and the camera pans over fast to Chloe standing in the room's doorway. She closes the door behind her. "Just call me nobody."
AM: You did--you let Chloe rip off Clark's phone schtick?
TW: Sometimes budget cuts are a good thing.
AM [grins]: Thanks! Okay, so Chloe looks at Evelyn and Lois. "Now, what's this about somebody's face?"
TW: Closeup on Evelyn as she whips her head around and looks at the video square of Chloe's face on the monitor, then back at the real Chloe. "What the...it's you!"
AM: Chloe walks slowly and deliberately into the room, and looks at the monitor. A sad expression appears on her face. "Well. What do you know? It is me."
TW: Evelyn gets an ambitious grin on her face. "This is great! We can do an interview with you and break this wide open!"
ED: Lois is a little more hesitant. "Chloe...is that really you?"
AM: Chloe folds her arms and thinks. "Okay. There's some good news and some bad news. The good news is that that"--she points at the monitor--"isn't me. It's a clone that Lex made of me. He made...well, a few of them."
ED: Lois looks shocked. "He did what? But--but why?"
KK: See also: the Lanabots. [pauses] Wait. If Lex could make clones of Chloe, why wouldn't he simply keep one of those as a sex toy?
TW: Because he's not quite stupid enough to sleep with someone who could rip out his spine by accident if things got hot and heavy.
KK: You're no damn fun, Tom.
AM: "I guess he thought he could get away with a copyright infringement while I was dead." Chloe points at the other video square, and her voice gets quiet. "Oh, Clark. Always biting off more than you can chew."
MR: Ouch.
ED: More jaw-dropping for Lois. "What? That's Clark?!?!?"
TW: Evelyn is still trying to process that. "You were dead? Clinically?"
AM: Chloe shrugs. "A few times. I got better." [groans] Okay, fine, someone had to go there. "It probably helps that I'm...special."
TW: "Special?"
AoT: Why is Chloe admitting everyth...ohhh. [nods] Never mind.
ED: What?
AM: Chloe points at the coffee cup Evelyn was drinking from earlier, now sitting on the table next to the keyboard. Closeup on the cup as it suddenly rockets off-camera, and cut to a wide shot of Chloe as the mug hits the wall a few feet to her left and shatters. "Special."
TW: Evelyn is gaping in astonishment at this point. "You're...you're a--"
AM: "Mutant is fine. Or metahuman if you want to be politically correct."
ED: Lois does that look-down-think-look-up thing. "Chloe? If that's the good news...that a clone of you--"
AM: "A few of them."
ED: "--was fighting Clark over the Slab on Lex's orders...then what's the bad news?"
AM: Chloe sighs. "The bad news...well, for you...is that you can't tell anyone about this. It would mess up my plans."
TW: "What? Plans? What plans?"
AM: "Plans. Someone has to save the world, you see--and it probably ain't gonna be him." Chloe waves dismissively at the monitor. "We're going to have to do the world-saving ourselves."
KK: When we write people dissing Clark, Tom, you get all bent out of shape. When you do it, it's just fine. What the hell?
TW: The thing with you writing Clark disses is that you enjoy it too much.
KK: Well-- [thinks]
JG: He's got you there.
KK: But...he's such an easy-- [sulks]
ED: Lois, meanwhile, is looking nervous. "Chloe?"
AM: Closeup on Chloe as she looks at Lois, looking kind of sad. "You can't tell anybody, Lois. Not a soul. But in a minute or so it won't matter...you won't be able to."
TW: Evelyn looks just a little scared, and starts to stand up. Chloe unfolds her arms, reaches out, and grabs both Lois and Evelyn by the arm. Cut to closeups as the usual glowy effects pop from under Chloe's hands, then to closeups of Lois and Evelyn's faces as they twitch slightly and their eyes roll up into their heads. They both finally slump into their chairs, unconscious.
AoT: I thought that was coming.
JG: It was rather obvious, wasn't it?
ED: Dammit! Lois finds out that-- [glares at TW] You suck! You ran with the Bruce Wayne thing, but Lois still can't find out that Clark is Kal-El?
TW: Well...yes. Chloe looks down at them, still with that sad expression on her face, then turns without a word and walks out of the room.
MR: Lois has to remain galactically stupid.
ED: Bastards!
JG: Why, thank you.
Continued...
JG: This time we come back to Lois and Evelyn in a dimly lit room. [to MR] Not that kind of dimly-lit, one-track-mind boy.
MR: Aww.
TW: The room is full of video equipment and CRT monitors. Lois and Evelyn are seated in front of a complicated-looking console, along with a standard keyboard and a trackball.
AoT: This is the CSI: Miami part, right?
ED: Huh?
AoT [to ED]: The CSI: shows are notorious for doing what I think we're about to do in this scene.
ED: Still don't get it.
AoT: No one expects you to, dear.
TW: Evelyn is sipping on a cup of coffee, and points at the monitor directly in front of her. It's displaying a progress meter overlaid on what appears to be a still shot of the Slab; the meter is at about 97%. "Okay, the system is almost done processing the video. Took a bit longer than expected, though."
AoT: Oh, come on. The CSI: folks would have done this in about twenty seconds.
ED [snaps fingers]: Ohhh! The way they make shitty camcorder footage look like hi-def video!
JG [to AoT]: You watch CSI: Miami?
AoT [to JG]: I watch it to make fun of David Caruso's Botox injections.
JG [nods]: What else is there to watch on that show?
AoT: Well, there is that Delko fellow...
JG: Oh, right.
ED: Can Lois wear a lab coat and a low-cut blouse in this scene?
TW: Why would Lois wear a lab coat?
AM: And isn't the low-cut blouse a requirement for Lois anyway?
MR: Or an unusually tight top. Either/or.
AM: Oh, right.
JG [looks at TW]: Tight top or low-cut blouse?
TW [shrugs, makes notation in script]: Tight top.
ED: Reading my stuff. All right...Lois looks at her watch. "Well, I didn't have anything else to do tonight anyway."
TW: Evelyn nods. "I think the highlight of my evening would have been feeding my cats."
JG: Shot of the progress meter as it hits 99%, then almost immediately reaches 100%. Some sort of generic alert noise goes off, and the meter disappears.
TW: Evelyn sits up in her chair. "All right...the entire recording has been processed. All we have to do is find a shot or two that you like, select it, and it'll enhance it."
ED: Lois looks at the central monitor. "Okay. Fast-forward about...um...two minutes."
TW: Evelyn slowly spins a big dial on the control console. The video on the monitor blurs by at high speed for a few seconds, with accompanying speeded-up audio, then slows down and freezes on a shot of Clark in midair being held by three Spartans while a fourth one has a fist cocked back and aimed at his stomach.
ED: "Okay, that's good. Can we enhance his head?"
MR: Clark could use a new hairstyle.
TW: Shut up. Evelyn types on the keyboard, and on the screen a small square appears around Clark's head. The square and everything in it enlarges to take up about a fifth of the screen, still blurry, and additional lines of resolution start appearing inside the square. "Okay, that'll take a minute. Any other shots?"
ED: Lois points at the screen. "Can you play it at normal speed from here?"
TW: "Sure." Evelyn hits a button and the video plays behind the square. Shaky-cam stuff, until a Spartan abruptly flies towards the video's POV and just misses it, obliterating a wooden stage nearby; the camera pans over to the remains of the stage, with the Spartan lying in the middle of it with a big chunk of its helmet missing.
ED: Lois points. She's good at that. "Wait, right there! Hold it!"
TW: Evelyn hits the button again and the video freezes. "What, that guy?"
ED: "Yeah. What can you give me on their head?"
TW: "I'm curious about that myself. I'd love to know who's crazy enough to play dress-up for Lex Luthor."
MR: Hey!
TW: More typing, another square appears around the Spartan's head and blows up, et cetera. Cut to a wide profile shot of Lois and Evelyn looking intently at the monitor for a few seconds, then back to the monitor as both video squares continue adding lines of resolution. A few more seconds, and enough lines are added to the first square to, yes, make it look like hi-def video. Which means part of Clark's head is clearly visible, but not all of it.
MR: Stupid "GreenK protective suit."
ED: Lois leans forward in her chair. "Okay...damn, not enough for a positive ID. Scratch that one--we need a shot with more of his head exposed."
TW: "Trying to line up your next date, Lois?"
ED: "Oh, shut up and start the--wait." Lois points at the other video square, which by now is almost as good-looking as the first one. "That...that looks like..."
TW: Cut to a closeup of the video square as the additional lines of resolution finish appearing, making it a fairly clear close-up of Chloe's face framed by broken helmet.
AM: Dun-dunnnn!
ED: Lois's mouth drops open in shock. "Chloe?!?"
TW: Evelyn: "Who? Who's Chloe?" She points at the screen. "That's this Chloe person? You know her?"
ED: Lois ignores her as she whips out her cellphone and speed-dials a number. Behind her, Evelyn starts tinkering with the control console.
JG: And we cut to the Chloe-cave--
MR: Do we have a name for that yet?
JG: The...Chloe-cave?
AoT: The Fortress of Sullivan?
KK: 33.2?
MR: The Pillar of Autumn?
KK: The what?
MR: Spartans? Halo? [pauses] Heathen.
AM: I kind of like "Fortress of Sullivan."
JG [sighs]: Cut to the Chloe-cave as a cellphone rings. Chloe walks into the shot and picks up said cellphone. "Yes?"
ED: Back to Lois. "Cuz', you're never going to believe what I just found out."
TW: Back-and-forth cuts between Chloe and Lois. "And you're keeping me in suspense why?"
ED: "I was checking out some footage I managed to shoot at the Slab fight, and--and there was this Spartan that got its helmet smashed, and..." Lois's voice drops to a whisper. "Chloe, it was you."
TW: And the dramatic music cranks up.
AM: Okay, reading. Chloe cautiously goes, "What do you mean it was me?"
ED: "I got a good closeup of it--it's your face! What is one of Lex's Iron Man rejects--"
MR: Hey! No dissing Iron Lex and his army!
ED: "--doing with your face? God, this is sick!"
AM: Chloe thinks for a second. "Lois, where are you?"
ED: "I'm at KTMP. Seriously, cuz'--this means Lex is an even sicker freak than we thought he was when we found out he had snatched your body! What's his obsession with you?"
MR: Lex needed a blueprint for his army of world-saving--
KK: Sex toys.
MR: Shut up!
TW: Evelyn catches that last part. "What?"
ED: "Nothing! Now, cuz', I...hello? Hellooooo?" She looks at the phone. "She hung up on me?"
TW: "Lois, who were you talking to?"
ED: Over-the-shoulder shot of Evelyn looking at Lois as she turns around. "Uh...nobody."
TW: We hear the super-speed noise under Lois's last comment, followed by Chloe's voice: "Well, damn." Both Lois and Evelyn suddenly look off-camera-left as Chloe speaks, and the camera pans over fast to Chloe standing in the room's doorway. She closes the door behind her. "Just call me nobody."
AM: You did--you let Chloe rip off Clark's phone schtick?
TW: Sometimes budget cuts are a good thing.
AM [grins]: Thanks! Okay, so Chloe looks at Evelyn and Lois. "Now, what's this about somebody's face?"
TW: Closeup on Evelyn as she whips her head around and looks at the video square of Chloe's face on the monitor, then back at the real Chloe. "What the...it's you!"
AM: Chloe walks slowly and deliberately into the room, and looks at the monitor. A sad expression appears on her face. "Well. What do you know? It is me."
TW: Evelyn gets an ambitious grin on her face. "This is great! We can do an interview with you and break this wide open!"
ED: Lois is a little more hesitant. "Chloe...is that really you?"
AM: Chloe folds her arms and thinks. "Okay. There's some good news and some bad news. The good news is that that"--she points at the monitor--"isn't me. It's a clone that Lex made of me. He made...well, a few of them."
ED: Lois looks shocked. "He did what? But--but why?"
KK: See also: the Lanabots. [pauses] Wait. If Lex could make clones of Chloe, why wouldn't he simply keep one of those as a sex toy?
TW: Because he's not quite stupid enough to sleep with someone who could rip out his spine by accident if things got hot and heavy.
KK: You're no damn fun, Tom.
AM: "I guess he thought he could get away with a copyright infringement while I was dead." Chloe points at the other video square, and her voice gets quiet. "Oh, Clark. Always biting off more than you can chew."
MR: Ouch.
ED: More jaw-dropping for Lois. "What? That's Clark?!?!?"
TW: Evelyn is still trying to process that. "You were dead? Clinically?"
AM: Chloe shrugs. "A few times. I got better." [groans] Okay, fine, someone had to go there. "It probably helps that I'm...special."
TW: "Special?"
AoT: Why is Chloe admitting everyth...ohhh. [nods] Never mind.
ED: What?
AM: Chloe points at the coffee cup Evelyn was drinking from earlier, now sitting on the table next to the keyboard. Closeup on the cup as it suddenly rockets off-camera, and cut to a wide shot of Chloe as the mug hits the wall a few feet to her left and shatters. "Special."
TW: Evelyn is gaping in astonishment at this point. "You're...you're a--"
AM: "Mutant is fine. Or metahuman if you want to be politically correct."
ED: Lois does that look-down-think-look-up thing. "Chloe? If that's the good news...that a clone of you--"
AM: "A few of them."
ED: "--was fighting Clark over the Slab on Lex's orders...then what's the bad news?"
AM: Chloe sighs. "The bad news...well, for you...is that you can't tell anyone about this. It would mess up my plans."
TW: "What? Plans? What plans?"
AM: "Plans. Someone has to save the world, you see--and it probably ain't gonna be him." Chloe waves dismissively at the monitor. "We're going to have to do the world-saving ourselves."
KK: When we write people dissing Clark, Tom, you get all bent out of shape. When you do it, it's just fine. What the hell?
TW: The thing with you writing Clark disses is that you enjoy it too much.
KK: Well-- [thinks]
JG: He's got you there.
KK: But...he's such an easy-- [sulks]
ED: Lois, meanwhile, is looking nervous. "Chloe?"
AM: Closeup on Chloe as she looks at Lois, looking kind of sad. "You can't tell anybody, Lois. Not a soul. But in a minute or so it won't matter...you won't be able to."
TW: Evelyn looks just a little scared, and starts to stand up. Chloe unfolds her arms, reaches out, and grabs both Lois and Evelyn by the arm. Cut to closeups as the usual glowy effects pop from under Chloe's hands, then to closeups of Lois and Evelyn's faces as they twitch slightly and their eyes roll up into their heads. They both finally slump into their chairs, unconscious.
AoT: I thought that was coming.
JG: It was rather obvious, wasn't it?
ED: Dammit! Lois finds out that-- [glares at TW] You suck! You ran with the Bruce Wayne thing, but Lois still can't find out that Clark is Kal-El?
TW: Well...yes. Chloe looks down at them, still with that sad expression on her face, then turns without a word and walks out of the room.
MR: Lois has to remain galactically stupid.
ED: Bastards!
JG: Why, thank you.
Continued...
7.19 Confession (Part VIII) by TW and JG
as retold by Bill C
TW: And we're back on another establishing shot of the farm, this time at sunset.
MR: So Lex can show up and kick Clark's ass.
TW: There is actually no asskicking in this episode.
MR: None? Lex finds out Clark's a freak, Lionel finds out Chloe killed Lana, and there's no asskicking?
TW: Nope.
AM: Is there bitchslapping?
JG: A little.
ED: That's it? You're telling me that Chippendale dancers and edible body paint led to this?
MR: It was edible?
TW: Oversimplification, but yeah.
MR [to ED]: Did you use it all?
ED: Dammit. [to MR] Yes.
MR: Damn!
TW [sighs]: Cut to a long shot of Clark leaning against one of the barn doors, looking wistfully off-camera-left, hair ruffling slightly in the bree--
ED: Is he still wearing the wifebeater?
AoT [at the same time]: Is he still wearing the tank top? [looks at ED] I can't believe we shared the same brain cell for that.
TW: Yes, he's still wearing the damn thing.
ED: Okay.
TW: A very slow zoom on Clark starts as he sighs, pulls his cellphone out of a pocket, and dials a number.
AM: The Pie Hole?
AoT: His mother?
KK: 1-900-SLUT-GIRL?
[everyone looks at KK]
KK [exasperated]: Farsc--never mind. God, rent some DVDs, people!
TW: "Hey, Pete, th--oh. Voicemail."
AM: Pete? Like this episode can afford to get Sam back in here?
TW: Shh. "Hey, Pete, it--it's Clark. I just thought I'd check in, see how you were doing. I know you couldn't make it to Chloe's funeral--"
KK: Like it mattered in the end.
AM: It should have mattered! But...well...
AoT: It's okay. Nobody remembers Pete.
TW: "--though it's okay, since she got better."
[KK looks at TW, then bursts out laughing]
AM: You know what? [points at KK] That about sums it up.
TW: Okay, you describe it in two seconds. [shakes head] "Pete, whenever you get this, give me a call. I'd love to catch up, and I could really use a friend to talk to...it seems like I'm kind of light on those right now."
ED: Whiny Clark. Inevitable like death and taxes.
TW: "I'm worried about Chloe, and...and things are just a mess. Honestly, I'm not sure how much more I can take." Clark hangs up.
KK: Really whiny Clark. Inevitable like...really whiny Clark.
JG: Clark straightens up and turns to walk off-camera, but turns around again as the sound of an approaching vehicle fades in. Cut to a--
AM+ED [sing-song]: Tracking shot!
JG: Overhead, thank you, of Lex's silver Porsche--
TW: Okay, that's changed.
JG: It is?
TW: It's now a 2009 Toyota Camry Solara convertible. Completely black. Paint, trim, everything.
AM: Product placement? This late in the episode? For what, paying for all the clips?
MR: I'm not complaining.
JG: We have to eat. So this black Toyota roars up the access road to the farm and comes to a rapid, slightly skidding stop next to Clark's Tundra, headlights aimed directly at Clark.
TW: Cut to a shot of Clark caught in the headlights.
KK: Looking like a deer?
AoT: ...a little less so.
TW: Front shot of the Solara as the engine and headlights shut off, and Lex gets out.
ED: How does Lex know Clark's at home?
AM: The HoYay. It's like a homing beacon.
ED: Oh, okay.
JG: And now we do a--
ED+KK [sing-song]: Tracking shot!
JG: -- from the side as Lex slowly walks up to Clark. Cut to an over-the-shoulder shot of Lex as Clark looks expectantly at him, then to an over-the-shoulder shot of Clark with Lex looking at him with an unreadable expression on his face for a few seconds. And then Lex suddenly punches Clark in the face.
MR: Whoa, what?
ED: The hell?
AM: Catfight!
KK: Foreplay!
TW: Back to the previous over-the-shoulder shot of Clark as he takes the hit, head snapping back and forward, and then he straightens up and looks at Lex with surprise.
KK: In those hungry lust-filled eyes.
JG: Back to the shot of Lex, still with the unreadable expression on his face. And he casually says, "I was wondering if you could feel that."
AoT: Ever so slightly bitchy.
MR [laughs]: Nice!
TW: Clark glares at Lex. "I felt that just fine, Lex, thanks. If that's your idea of a night out on the town, go find a fight club or something. You can afford a human punching bag or two, and I've got better things to do." Clark turns on his heel and walks into the barn.
MR: Okay, lemme read this...Lex follows Clark into the barn. "I don't know how you did it, Clark. Seven years and I never really figured it out...not until now."
TW: Clark goes up the stairs into the loft, still not looking at Lex. "Figured what out, Lex? That you're an obsessive control freak with delusions of godhood?"
ED: Counter-zing!
MR: And Lex follows Clark into the loft.
KK: Damn! Another loft scene?
AoT: Where else would the lovers quarrel?
MR: "I finally realized that...perhaps there really is more to mild-mannered farmboy Clark Kent than meets the eye." Lex stops at the top of the stairs. "Or the security camera."
TW: Cut to a shot of Clark through the loft window as he leans against the sill, Lex out of focus behind him. For a split-second fear appears on his face. "What are you talking about?"
MR: The camera brings Lex into focus and blurs Clark. "You remember my wedding day, don't you? Such a lovely day...sure, you missed most of the wedding itself, but I know you made it in time for the important part."
ED: Zing!
MR: "The thing is, though, that I know you also dropped by the mansion a little earlier that day."
TW: Dramatic pause as Clark comes back into focus, and the fear comes back into his face for a few seconds this time.
MR: Then back out of focus, and off goes Lex. "I remember that I had asked Chloe to...to get Lana's wedding present. It was in the wine cellar. And I remember the old cellar door tended to stick, so she got stuck in there...and she called you to help her, and you snuck in...and took the door right off its hinges." Short sarcastic laugh. "All that clean living and hard work on the farm paid off, huh?"
TW: Cut to an in-loft shot of Clark as he turns around, doing his best to look collected. "What do you want, Lex?"
KK: To do you. Duh.
MR: Cut to Lex. "What do I want? I want a little truth, Clark. I--I can't believe I didn't have it figured out after my car went into the Elbow River seven years ago. After it hit you."
TW: "Lex, how many times do I--"
MR: "Save it! I saw you pull the door off, Clark...like one of those bales of hay down there. Though I have to admit you've done a marvelous job of hiding that ability from everyone..."
AoT: Proving that Lex is really blind as a bat.
AM: No, the universe just hates him.
TW: Clark thinks for a moment. "I don't have to explain my--"
MR: Lex walks up to Clark, and cut to a wide shot of them staring at each other in front of the loft window. "Oh, go right ahead and hide behind that comfortable cloak of 'not explaining yourself.' You're so good at it. But the truth's out...the truth that Clark Kent is really a meteor freak."
ED: Technically, you could say that.
MR: Quiet, woman. "And this time you're not going to--"
TW: Clark cuts Lex off. "Lex...we were friends once. Let me ask you something." His voice drops slightly, gains a slight edge. "If I really am an unstable, unpredictable 'meteor freak'--then why haven't I flipped out yet and tried to kill you?"
AoT [after a few seconds]: Damn, irrefutable logic.
MR: Lex stares at Clark for a long moment. "What about Zod?"
TW: Clark manages to keep his game face on for that. "Zod?"
MR: "You...you cast it out." Oh, come on, Lex flakes out here? Bullshit!
JG: We couldn't make it that easy.
MR: Bastards. So Lex gets slightly confused and rambling. "Forced it out...I know you forced it out..."
TW: And Clark jumps on that opportunity.
AM: In Lex's pants.
TW: "Are you sure your mind isn't playing tricks on you, Lex? Who's Zod? Who forced him out of where?"
MR: Lex pauses, then does that look-down-laugh-look-up thing. "I still know what I saw. You can't deny that...and I see that you haven't." Closeup as he leans towards Clark and glares at him. "What are you, Clark Kent?"
ED: A brooding, masochistic farmboy.
AM: A big dumb alien.
KK: A judgmental self-righteous jerk with moments of niceness.
MR: The one who got away.
AoT: A handsome, yet incredibly reckless man who means well.
JG: Terminally style-impaired.
TW: Closeup on Clark, and the hell with all of you. He doesn't go for the opening.
KK: In Lex's pants.
TW [scowls]: "I'm just a man, Lex. Just a man."
MR: Back to Lex, continuing to glare, until he finally turns away and heads for the stairs. He stops just before he gets there and calls out over his shoulder, "One last thing, Clark. What do you know about Kal-El?"
TW: Clark bristles. "Even if I did know anything, even if I'd heard that name before, what the hell makes you think I would tell you?"
MR: Lex considers that silently, and heads down the stairs. Cut to an outside-the-loft shot of Clark as he slumps against the windowsill, as we hear Lex get back in his car and drive off, and cut to commer-- [to TW] That's it?
ED: Well, it's still more interesting than anything else that's happened in this episode since the Lanabot showed up.
Continued...
TW: And we're back on another establishing shot of the farm, this time at sunset.
MR: So Lex can show up and kick Clark's ass.
TW: There is actually no asskicking in this episode.
MR: None? Lex finds out Clark's a freak, Lionel finds out Chloe killed Lana, and there's no asskicking?
TW: Nope.
AM: Is there bitchslapping?
JG: A little.
ED: That's it? You're telling me that Chippendale dancers and edible body paint led to this?
MR: It was edible?
TW: Oversimplification, but yeah.
MR [to ED]: Did you use it all?
ED: Dammit. [to MR] Yes.
MR: Damn!
TW [sighs]: Cut to a long shot of Clark leaning against one of the barn doors, looking wistfully off-camera-left, hair ruffling slightly in the bree--
ED: Is he still wearing the wifebeater?
AoT [at the same time]: Is he still wearing the tank top? [looks at ED] I can't believe we shared the same brain cell for that.
TW: Yes, he's still wearing the damn thing.
ED: Okay.
TW: A very slow zoom on Clark starts as he sighs, pulls his cellphone out of a pocket, and dials a number.
AM: The Pie Hole?
AoT: His mother?
KK: 1-900-SLUT-GIRL?
[everyone looks at KK]
KK [exasperated]: Farsc--never mind. God, rent some DVDs, people!
TW: "Hey, Pete, th--oh. Voicemail."
AM: Pete? Like this episode can afford to get Sam back in here?
TW: Shh. "Hey, Pete, it--it's Clark. I just thought I'd check in, see how you were doing. I know you couldn't make it to Chloe's funeral--"
KK: Like it mattered in the end.
AM: It should have mattered! But...well...
AoT: It's okay. Nobody remembers Pete.
TW: "--though it's okay, since she got better."
[KK looks at TW, then bursts out laughing]
AM: You know what? [points at KK] That about sums it up.
TW: Okay, you describe it in two seconds. [shakes head] "Pete, whenever you get this, give me a call. I'd love to catch up, and I could really use a friend to talk to...it seems like I'm kind of light on those right now."
ED: Whiny Clark. Inevitable like death and taxes.
TW: "I'm worried about Chloe, and...and things are just a mess. Honestly, I'm not sure how much more I can take." Clark hangs up.
KK: Really whiny Clark. Inevitable like...really whiny Clark.
JG: Clark straightens up and turns to walk off-camera, but turns around again as the sound of an approaching vehicle fades in. Cut to a--
AM+ED [sing-song]: Tracking shot!
JG: Overhead, thank you, of Lex's silver Porsche--
TW: Okay, that's changed.
JG: It is?
TW: It's now a 2009 Toyota Camry Solara convertible. Completely black. Paint, trim, everything.
AM: Product placement? This late in the episode? For what, paying for all the clips?
MR: I'm not complaining.
JG: We have to eat. So this black Toyota roars up the access road to the farm and comes to a rapid, slightly skidding stop next to Clark's Tundra, headlights aimed directly at Clark.
TW: Cut to a shot of Clark caught in the headlights.
KK: Looking like a deer?
AoT: ...a little less so.
TW: Front shot of the Solara as the engine and headlights shut off, and Lex gets out.
ED: How does Lex know Clark's at home?
AM: The HoYay. It's like a homing beacon.
ED: Oh, okay.
JG: And now we do a--
ED+KK [sing-song]: Tracking shot!
JG: -- from the side as Lex slowly walks up to Clark. Cut to an over-the-shoulder shot of Lex as Clark looks expectantly at him, then to an over-the-shoulder shot of Clark with Lex looking at him with an unreadable expression on his face for a few seconds. And then Lex suddenly punches Clark in the face.
MR: Whoa, what?
ED: The hell?
AM: Catfight!
KK: Foreplay!
TW: Back to the previous over-the-shoulder shot of Clark as he takes the hit, head snapping back and forward, and then he straightens up and looks at Lex with surprise.
KK: In those hungry lust-filled eyes.
JG: Back to the shot of Lex, still with the unreadable expression on his face. And he casually says, "I was wondering if you could feel that."
AoT: Ever so slightly bitchy.
MR [laughs]: Nice!
TW: Clark glares at Lex. "I felt that just fine, Lex, thanks. If that's your idea of a night out on the town, go find a fight club or something. You can afford a human punching bag or two, and I've got better things to do." Clark turns on his heel and walks into the barn.
MR: Okay, lemme read this...Lex follows Clark into the barn. "I don't know how you did it, Clark. Seven years and I never really figured it out...not until now."
TW: Clark goes up the stairs into the loft, still not looking at Lex. "Figured what out, Lex? That you're an obsessive control freak with delusions of godhood?"
ED: Counter-zing!
MR: And Lex follows Clark into the loft.
KK: Damn! Another loft scene?
AoT: Where else would the lovers quarrel?
MR: "I finally realized that...perhaps there really is more to mild-mannered farmboy Clark Kent than meets the eye." Lex stops at the top of the stairs. "Or the security camera."
TW: Cut to a shot of Clark through the loft window as he leans against the sill, Lex out of focus behind him. For a split-second fear appears on his face. "What are you talking about?"
MR: The camera brings Lex into focus and blurs Clark. "You remember my wedding day, don't you? Such a lovely day...sure, you missed most of the wedding itself, but I know you made it in time for the important part."
ED: Zing!
MR: "The thing is, though, that I know you also dropped by the mansion a little earlier that day."
TW: Dramatic pause as Clark comes back into focus, and the fear comes back into his face for a few seconds this time.
MR: Then back out of focus, and off goes Lex. "I remember that I had asked Chloe to...to get Lana's wedding present. It was in the wine cellar. And I remember the old cellar door tended to stick, so she got stuck in there...and she called you to help her, and you snuck in...and took the door right off its hinges." Short sarcastic laugh. "All that clean living and hard work on the farm paid off, huh?"
TW: Cut to an in-loft shot of Clark as he turns around, doing his best to look collected. "What do you want, Lex?"
KK: To do you. Duh.
MR: Cut to Lex. "What do I want? I want a little truth, Clark. I--I can't believe I didn't have it figured out after my car went into the Elbow River seven years ago. After it hit you."
TW: "Lex, how many times do I--"
MR: "Save it! I saw you pull the door off, Clark...like one of those bales of hay down there. Though I have to admit you've done a marvelous job of hiding that ability from everyone..."
AoT: Proving that Lex is really blind as a bat.
AM: No, the universe just hates him.
TW: Clark thinks for a moment. "I don't have to explain my--"
MR: Lex walks up to Clark, and cut to a wide shot of them staring at each other in front of the loft window. "Oh, go right ahead and hide behind that comfortable cloak of 'not explaining yourself.' You're so good at it. But the truth's out...the truth that Clark Kent is really a meteor freak."
ED: Technically, you could say that.
MR: Quiet, woman. "And this time you're not going to--"
TW: Clark cuts Lex off. "Lex...we were friends once. Let me ask you something." His voice drops slightly, gains a slight edge. "If I really am an unstable, unpredictable 'meteor freak'--then why haven't I flipped out yet and tried to kill you?"
AoT [after a few seconds]: Damn, irrefutable logic.
MR: Lex stares at Clark for a long moment. "What about Zod?"
TW: Clark manages to keep his game face on for that. "Zod?"
MR: "You...you cast it out." Oh, come on, Lex flakes out here? Bullshit!
JG: We couldn't make it that easy.
MR: Bastards. So Lex gets slightly confused and rambling. "Forced it out...I know you forced it out..."
TW: And Clark jumps on that opportunity.
AM: In Lex's pants.
TW: "Are you sure your mind isn't playing tricks on you, Lex? Who's Zod? Who forced him out of where?"
MR: Lex pauses, then does that look-down-laugh-look-up thing. "I still know what I saw. You can't deny that...and I see that you haven't." Closeup as he leans towards Clark and glares at him. "What are you, Clark Kent?"
ED: A brooding, masochistic farmboy.
AM: A big dumb alien.
KK: A judgmental self-righteous jerk with moments of niceness.
MR: The one who got away.
AoT: A handsome, yet incredibly reckless man who means well.
JG: Terminally style-impaired.
TW: Closeup on Clark, and the hell with all of you. He doesn't go for the opening.
KK: In Lex's pants.
TW [scowls]: "I'm just a man, Lex. Just a man."
MR: Back to Lex, continuing to glare, until he finally turns away and heads for the stairs. He stops just before he gets there and calls out over his shoulder, "One last thing, Clark. What do you know about Kal-El?"
TW: Clark bristles. "Even if I did know anything, even if I'd heard that name before, what the hell makes you think I would tell you?"
MR: Lex considers that silently, and heads down the stairs. Cut to an outside-the-loft shot of Clark as he slumps against the windowsill, as we hear Lex get back in his car and drive off, and cut to commer-- [to TW] That's it?
ED: Well, it's still more interesting than anything else that's happened in this episode since the Lanabot showed up.
Continued...
7.19 Confession (Part VII) by TW and JG
as retold by Bill C
TW: Yes, it's boring. And you wonder why I was so pissed about the commercial spots.
KK: The commercials would have gotten more people watching the show.
TW: Kristin, your "spots" would have gotten more people watching PBS.
KK: Whatever you say, doubting Thomas.
TW: The show is supposed to be important...the spots, not so much.
AM: While I'm initially of a mind to agree with you, Tom...after six years, people know what to expect from this show.
MR: Sexy Lex!
ED: Hot Lois!
AoT: Smart, dignified Martha.
AM: Heroic, embattled Chloe.
JG: Lionel, the magnificent bastard.
KK: Lana's still dead.
ED: Rampant cheese and HoYay!
MR: And.....Clark.
[TW shakes his head]
AM: Everything else is like...
MR: Shit?
AM: ...like putting mayo on top of--
TW: Don't you dare bring up chicken again.
AM: ...I wouldn't dream of it.
TW: Okay.
AM: The point is that people are used to the show. Good and bad. It's a known quantity. It's safe. There's no way around that.
TW [after a few seconds]: That's a good point. I'll have to remember that. So, okay, we were at...
AoT: "...disservice to the metahumans," blah blah blah.
JG: Right. So Lionel responds, "Martha, you know you have my full support. And you know I don't want to see the MRC get subverted either."
AoT: Martha smiles a relieved little smile. "I'm glad to hear it, Lionel. Now, I think I'm going to let you go--"
JG: Lionel chuckles softly. "What's the saying...if you love something, let it go?"
AoT: Martha's smile grows wider. "Goodbye, Lionel. And, again, thanks." She hangs up.
[everyone is silent for a few seconds]
KK: John, you can cut that subtext with a chainsaw.
JG: Your point?
AoT: I'm not complaining.
JG: Thank you.
AM: It's like they were...flirting.
MR: And old people flirting doesn't work unless it's on General Hospital.
AoT [bristles]: Old people?
MR [after a beat]: Okay, bad choice of words.
KK [to TW]: And you let him do that?
AoT: He has more important things to worry about.
TW: Yeah, yeah.
ED: Okay, we're going from boring to slightly creepy? What kind of episode is this?
MR: We started out at creepy, Erica. We've come full circle.
TW: Going on, people.
KK: You're leaving it in there? Ballsy.
JG: Lionel hangs up his phone, and we pan to a behind-the-chair shot of him looking up at Otis. "Something else, Otis?"
TW: Otis points at the device. "That's what Mr. Ferret gave to your son, boss."
AM: "Boss?" Please tell me you're not making Otis a bumbling sidekick.
TW: God, no. "R&D is having a field day trying to decipher it. But that's not why I stuck around."
JG: Lionel nods. "Go on."
TW: "The security server integrity check? It turns out that that server that was wiped was a test machine for some new backup software...it had made full backups of all its recordings to an auxiliary machine that wasn't part of the security system. The auxiliary machine was in a--"
ED: Wait. So...the security recordings weren't completely wiped?
KK: The hell?
AM: Oh, no.
JG: "The point, please."
TW: "Everything that was recorded in Lex's office prior to the disabling of the cameras was still stored on this auxiliary computer." Cut to a closeup of Otis as he pulls a mini-CD from a pocket and holds it up. "I took a quick look at the last few minutes of recordings, and I...I thought you would want to see this immediately."
AM [frowns]: Oh no, not again.
JG: Cut to a front shot as Lionel takes the disc from Otis and slides it into a slot on the side of the monitor on his desk. He then hits a key on his keyboard, and we switch to a monitor closeup as--
KK: He gets to see Chloe kill Lana.
JG: Cut back to Lionel as he's watching...one hand under the chin, full-on thoughtful mode, dramatic music...
AM: [sighs] Tell me this is the last time we show this.
JG: Stop whining, Allison. We've only gone back to it twice, including this scene.
TW: But, yes, this is the last time.
AM: Thank God.
TW [pauses]: Until the scene after the next one.
AM: You suck!
JG: It had to come out sooner or later, you know.
KK: Because only Lana could get away with murder on this show.
MR: Has anybody ever asked you why you're so sentimental about such a bitch?
ED: Take Al and Miles out of the equation and it's not so bad?
KK [waves hand]: Lana without Al and Miles is like...Clark without kryptonite.
TW: Pretty cool and all but invincible?
KK [thinks]: Add some inevitable bitching about secrets and lies and I'll allow it.
TW [shrugs]: Meanwhile, as Lionel is still watching the murder--
AM: Invol--oh, fuck you.
TW: --video, we cut to an exterior shot of the Luthor mansion's wine cellar. Lex comes around a corner, opens a door, and enters the cellar, heading straight for the good stuff.
MR: Iron Lex works up a thirst taking over everything he surveys!
JG [impersonates MR]: "And when I get thirsty, I go right for the Night Train."
TW: Tracking shot as Lex goes into the depths of the wine cellar, to a rack in the back, and he pulls a bottle of wine down from an upper tier...dusts it off...and looks at the label with approval.
AM: You're obsessed with tracking shots.
TW: Budget cut.
JG: Cut to a close shot of Lex with the bottle as he turns to leave, then the previous exterior shot as he comes out and stops. He sees a spider on the wall opposite the door...cut to a closeup of the spider as it skitters up the wall, then past a small dusty security camera partially hidden by a support beam that the camera stops on--
AoT: There's a camera in the wine cellar?
MR: Okay, when the hell did he have time to install that?
ED: While Lionel was talking to that Ferret guy last week?
AM: Kahloe did it?
KK: Jor-El went back in time and did it?
JG: Actually it's the work of a secret society which has been watching the Luthors for generations, waiting for a moment of great peril, and is trying to breed the ultimate human being through them.
KK [to JG, after a few seconds]: Dammit, John, this is not Dune! The name Luthor is not a killing word!
ED: Oh, God, I loved that movie!
AM: Can we stick Lex's hand in the fire box?
ED: Dun dun da-dunnnnn...
AoT: John, you actually read that?
MR: Iron Lex is the ultimate warrior! Yeah!
TW [mutters]: Oh, for chrissakes...
JG: The movie was on a couple of nights ago. The "killing word" scene put me right out.
ED: ...dun dun da-dunnnnnnn...
MR: Wait a minute! The wine cellar--oh, shit!
ED: What?
MR [to TW]: Dammit, you can't fuck with Lex like this!
TW: And I am. Brief shot of Lex looking thoughtfully up at the camera, brief shot of the camera again with a little red light lit on top. Jump cut to Lex walking into the study and going straight to his desk, typing on the keyboard...
MR: And no doubt pulling up the scene from Promise with Clark busting Chloe out of the wine cellar.
TW: After a few other little shots of various drones going through the corridor, into the wine cellar, and so on, sorted by date. Lex sees the date of his and Lana's wedding pop up, so he eventually goes to watch those and...boom.
JG: Alternate-angle, though, which means we'll have to reshoot parts of it.
KK: You might as well use the original footage. It'll fit the cheap-ass vibe this episode has going.
AM: Can we reshoot the scene where Clark kills Lex too?
TW: Lex watches the scene quietly, with only some quietly oh-shit dramatic music going and the occasional cut to a closeup of the monitor for effect in spots. His face goes from curiosity to surprise as Clark rips the wine cellar door off and puts it back on, to shock as Lana sneaks out of the cellar after Clark and Chloe leave.
JG: Halfway through, we cut to a--
AM+AoT [sing-song]: Tracking shot.
JG: --of the Lanabot--
KK: Oh hell no. You're adding the Lanabot to this?
JG: --walking into the study and over to Lex. "Lex? Baby, what is it?"
AM: What's she wearing?
JG: Did we figure that out?
TW: We flipped for it. I lost.
JG: Oh. I don't feel like embarrassing Kristin too much today, so we'll go with...a blue minidress and stockings.
KK [sourly]: Gee, thanks.
JG: But the hair stays.
KK: Dammit!
TW: Lex looks up at the Lanabot, confused and pissed and frustrated all at once. Cut to her just looking back at him, smiling her programmed smile. Back to Lex as he looks away, down at the floor--then he looks up, sets his jaw, and pull back as he strides away from the desk and out of the study. Hold for a second on Lana--
KK [through her teeth]: Lanabot.
TW [chuckles]: --looking confused, and we go to commercial.
[AoT leans over and lightly whacks MR in the back of the head]
MR: Hey! What the hell, Annette?
AoT: Old people?
Continued...
TW: Yes, it's boring. And you wonder why I was so pissed about the commercial spots.
KK: The commercials would have gotten more people watching the show.
TW: Kristin, your "spots" would have gotten more people watching PBS.
KK: Whatever you say, doubting Thomas.
TW: The show is supposed to be important...the spots, not so much.
AM: While I'm initially of a mind to agree with you, Tom...after six years, people know what to expect from this show.
MR: Sexy Lex!
ED: Hot Lois!
AoT: Smart, dignified Martha.
AM: Heroic, embattled Chloe.
JG: Lionel, the magnificent bastard.
KK: Lana's still dead.
ED: Rampant cheese and HoYay!
MR: And.....Clark.
[TW shakes his head]
AM: Everything else is like...
MR: Shit?
AM: ...like putting mayo on top of--
TW: Don't you dare bring up chicken again.
AM: ...I wouldn't dream of it.
TW: Okay.
AM: The point is that people are used to the show. Good and bad. It's a known quantity. It's safe. There's no way around that.
TW [after a few seconds]: That's a good point. I'll have to remember that. So, okay, we were at...
AoT: "...disservice to the metahumans," blah blah blah.
JG: Right. So Lionel responds, "Martha, you know you have my full support. And you know I don't want to see the MRC get subverted either."
AoT: Martha smiles a relieved little smile. "I'm glad to hear it, Lionel. Now, I think I'm going to let you go--"
JG: Lionel chuckles softly. "What's the saying...if you love something, let it go?"
AoT: Martha's smile grows wider. "Goodbye, Lionel. And, again, thanks." She hangs up.
[everyone is silent for a few seconds]
KK: John, you can cut that subtext with a chainsaw.
JG: Your point?
AoT: I'm not complaining.
JG: Thank you.
AM: It's like they were...flirting.
MR: And old people flirting doesn't work unless it's on General Hospital.
AoT [bristles]: Old people?
MR [after a beat]: Okay, bad choice of words.
KK [to TW]: And you let him do that?
AoT: He has more important things to worry about.
TW: Yeah, yeah.
ED: Okay, we're going from boring to slightly creepy? What kind of episode is this?
MR: We started out at creepy, Erica. We've come full circle.
TW: Going on, people.
KK: You're leaving it in there? Ballsy.
JG: Lionel hangs up his phone, and we pan to a behind-the-chair shot of him looking up at Otis. "Something else, Otis?"
TW: Otis points at the device. "That's what Mr. Ferret gave to your son, boss."
AM: "Boss?" Please tell me you're not making Otis a bumbling sidekick.
TW: God, no. "R&D is having a field day trying to decipher it. But that's not why I stuck around."
JG: Lionel nods. "Go on."
TW: "The security server integrity check? It turns out that that server that was wiped was a test machine for some new backup software...it had made full backups of all its recordings to an auxiliary machine that wasn't part of the security system. The auxiliary machine was in a--"
ED: Wait. So...the security recordings weren't completely wiped?
KK: The hell?
AM: Oh, no.
JG: "The point, please."
TW: "Everything that was recorded in Lex's office prior to the disabling of the cameras was still stored on this auxiliary computer." Cut to a closeup of Otis as he pulls a mini-CD from a pocket and holds it up. "I took a quick look at the last few minutes of recordings, and I...I thought you would want to see this immediately."
AM [frowns]: Oh no, not again.
JG: Cut to a front shot as Lionel takes the disc from Otis and slides it into a slot on the side of the monitor on his desk. He then hits a key on his keyboard, and we switch to a monitor closeup as--
KK: He gets to see Chloe kill Lana.
JG: Cut back to Lionel as he's watching...one hand under the chin, full-on thoughtful mode, dramatic music...
AM: [sighs] Tell me this is the last time we show this.
JG: Stop whining, Allison. We've only gone back to it twice, including this scene.
TW: But, yes, this is the last time.
AM: Thank God.
TW [pauses]: Until the scene after the next one.
AM: You suck!
JG: It had to come out sooner or later, you know.
KK: Because only Lana could get away with murder on this show.
MR: Has anybody ever asked you why you're so sentimental about such a bitch?
ED: Take Al and Miles out of the equation and it's not so bad?
KK [waves hand]: Lana without Al and Miles is like...Clark without kryptonite.
TW: Pretty cool and all but invincible?
KK [thinks]: Add some inevitable bitching about secrets and lies and I'll allow it.
TW [shrugs]: Meanwhile, as Lionel is still watching the murder--
AM: Invol--oh, fuck you.
TW: --video, we cut to an exterior shot of the Luthor mansion's wine cellar. Lex comes around a corner, opens a door, and enters the cellar, heading straight for the good stuff.
MR: Iron Lex works up a thirst taking over everything he surveys!
JG [impersonates MR]: "And when I get thirsty, I go right for the Night Train."
TW: Tracking shot as Lex goes into the depths of the wine cellar, to a rack in the back, and he pulls a bottle of wine down from an upper tier...dusts it off...and looks at the label with approval.
AM: You're obsessed with tracking shots.
TW: Budget cut.
JG: Cut to a close shot of Lex with the bottle as he turns to leave, then the previous exterior shot as he comes out and stops. He sees a spider on the wall opposite the door...cut to a closeup of the spider as it skitters up the wall, then past a small dusty security camera partially hidden by a support beam that the camera stops on--
AoT: There's a camera in the wine cellar?
MR: Okay, when the hell did he have time to install that?
ED: While Lionel was talking to that Ferret guy last week?
AM: Kahloe did it?
KK: Jor-El went back in time and did it?
JG: Actually it's the work of a secret society which has been watching the Luthors for generations, waiting for a moment of great peril, and is trying to breed the ultimate human being through them.
KK [to JG, after a few seconds]: Dammit, John, this is not Dune! The name Luthor is not a killing word!
ED: Oh, God, I loved that movie!
AM: Can we stick Lex's hand in the fire box?
ED: Dun dun da-dunnnnn...
AoT: John, you actually read that?
MR: Iron Lex is the ultimate warrior! Yeah!
TW [mutters]: Oh, for chrissakes...
JG: The movie was on a couple of nights ago. The "killing word" scene put me right out.
ED: ...dun dun da-dunnnnnnn...
MR: Wait a minute! The wine cellar--oh, shit!
ED: What?
MR [to TW]: Dammit, you can't fuck with Lex like this!
TW: And I am. Brief shot of Lex looking thoughtfully up at the camera, brief shot of the camera again with a little red light lit on top. Jump cut to Lex walking into the study and going straight to his desk, typing on the keyboard...
MR: And no doubt pulling up the scene from Promise with Clark busting Chloe out of the wine cellar.
TW: After a few other little shots of various drones going through the corridor, into the wine cellar, and so on, sorted by date. Lex sees the date of his and Lana's wedding pop up, so he eventually goes to watch those and...boom.
JG: Alternate-angle, though, which means we'll have to reshoot parts of it.
KK: You might as well use the original footage. It'll fit the cheap-ass vibe this episode has going.
AM: Can we reshoot the scene where Clark kills Lex too?
TW: Lex watches the scene quietly, with only some quietly oh-shit dramatic music going and the occasional cut to a closeup of the monitor for effect in spots. His face goes from curiosity to surprise as Clark rips the wine cellar door off and puts it back on, to shock as Lana sneaks out of the cellar after Clark and Chloe leave.
JG: Halfway through, we cut to a--
AM+AoT [sing-song]: Tracking shot.
JG: --of the Lanabot--
KK: Oh hell no. You're adding the Lanabot to this?
JG: --walking into the study and over to Lex. "Lex? Baby, what is it?"
AM: What's she wearing?
JG: Did we figure that out?
TW: We flipped for it. I lost.
JG: Oh. I don't feel like embarrassing Kristin too much today, so we'll go with...a blue minidress and stockings.
KK [sourly]: Gee, thanks.
JG: But the hair stays.
KK: Dammit!
TW: Lex looks up at the Lanabot, confused and pissed and frustrated all at once. Cut to her just looking back at him, smiling her programmed smile. Back to Lex as he looks away, down at the floor--then he looks up, sets his jaw, and pull back as he strides away from the desk and out of the study. Hold for a second on Lana--
KK [through her teeth]: Lanabot.
TW [chuckles]: --looking confused, and we go to commercial.
[AoT leans over and lightly whacks MR in the back of the head]
MR: Hey! What the hell, Annette?
AoT: Old people?
Continued...
7.19 Confession (Part VI) by TW and JG
as retold by Bill C
JG: And we come back from commercials to Lois.
ED: Yeah!
TW: We fade in on a quarter-circle pan around her sitting on the corner of her desk at the Daily Planet. She's on the phone.
ED: Reading my stuff! "Hey, Teddy-bear--"
AM+KK: Teddy-bear?
JG [groans]: Dammit, can we change that? Ted shouldn't be called...that.
MR: Any more castration and Sherri Shepherd will be feeling up his man-boobs on national television.
AoT: If either one of them gets to "snookums," I will not be responsible for my actions.
TW: I gave you people the tank top. Shut up.
MR: Christ, Tom, at least go with Bitsy. Lois isn't smart enough for more than one endearment anyway.
ED: Lois is smart enough not to want to sleep with a robot!
MR [to TW]: How about a clone?
ED: She's still smarter than that!
MR [after a beat]: Even if it was a clone of a really hot guy? Say, Clive Owen?
ED: Ye--well, no...ye--nnn-- [thinks]
KK [monotone]: Logic conflict. Does not compute. Does not compute.
AoT: Congratulations, Michael. You might have actually short-circuited Erica's brain.
MR: And I wasn't even talking to her!
ED [through her teeth]: Goddammit!
JG: You can come back to that. Read your line.
ED [sighs]: "Teddy-bear, it's Lois. I'm back at the Planet for a minute--my contact didn't show up for the meet. Call me when you catch up to that guy, okay? See you later."
JG: As co-writer, I'm making a judgment call on that. We're going with Bitsy.
TW: John--
AM: Tom, the universe isn't going to end if we change that specific word.
TW [thinks]: Okay, fine. Bitsy it is.
JG: Thank you.
TW: As Lois hangs up the phone Evelyn, the reporter from KTMP, walks into the bullpen. "Lois?"
ED: "Oh, hey, Evelyn! You got my message?"
TW: "I admit, it's rare to get a call for help from the competition."
AM: Or in this case her betters.
ED: "In this case, we both win. I've been sitting on something I need some help with."
MR: Evelyn gets to massage Lois's ass? Ratings bonanza!
ED: You wish. "Remember the fight at the Slab?"
TW: "With the mysterious flying guy?"
ED: "Yep. I have video footage of a big chunk of the fight, up close and personal."
TW: Evelyn looks suitably impressed. "Okay, Lane, how the hell did you pull that off?"
ED: "No fear and a Handycam. The problem is, it's very shaky and we don't have the equipment to really process it here..."
TW: "So you want to use KTMP's gear to clean up the video?"
ED: "Exactly. You do it all the time, and I think we can identify the guy who put the button on Lex Luthor's big day."
AoT: Chloe with a laptop could do that. Or Jimmy. Or that one guy from a few episodes back.
TW: Dramatic effect.
AM: I do not think those words mean what you think they mean.
AoT: Certainly not on this show.
TW: "What's in it for me?"
ED: Lois considers that for a minute.
JG: Or ten.
ED: Will you stop that? "A copy for you and KTMP to use, as long as credit is properly given. But of course the Daily Planet gets their exclusive out first."
TW: Evelyn thinks about that. "Does anybody else know about this yet?"
ED: "Just my partner, but he's the soul of discretion."
TW: Evelyn sticks out her hand. "I think I can get my cameraman to set everything up. Bring the tape by in, say, an hour."
ED: Lois grins and shakes Evelyn's hand. "Then I think we've got a deal, Evelyn."
JG: And we cut immediately to a shot of the phone on Lionel's desk with the handset missing. Lionel is talking over the shot. "A deal is a deal, Senator Hayward...yes, of course I understand about your constituency. I also understand that your state is one of the three frontrunners for that new aerospace facility contract..."
AoT: Ah, to be rich and bastardly.
JG: There's no other way to live. "Yes, I'm glad we understand each other. Good day, Senator." Lionel's hand moves into the shot and puts the handset on the phone.
TW: Pan up and over to a profile shot of Lionel as he leans back in his chair, hand on his chin, deep in thought.
MR: Thinking of how Lex finally got one over on him?
JG: When was this?
MR: The Athena thing!
JG: Yes, we're coming to that...
MR: What? What are you doing, John?
JG: Lionel thinks for a few more seconds, then reaches for the phone again. It rings before he can pick it up, so he does. "Yes? Senator Kent? Put her through...Martha?"
AoT: Finally.
TW: And we cut to Martha walking into what appears to be a fairly plush living room, sunset shining through a window in the corner of the shot. She's got a cellphone balanced against her cheek as she's taking off her coat. Annette, I imagine you want to--
AoT: There was doubt? "Lionel, hi. I'm not catching you in the middle of anything, am I?"
JG: Back-and-forth cuts for the remainder of the scene. "Oh, no. Just the usual, trying to find ways to save the stockholders money...save the world..."
AoT: Martha by now is out of her coat--wait, what's she wearing?
TW: Whatever you want, Annette.
AoT [instantly]: Blue blouse, gray skirt, smoke-colored hose and high heels.
ED: Damn, Annette, you're supposed to think about your wardrobe.
AoT: I could make a trash bag look good, young lady.
JG: Which she has.
AoT: That was just the one time! I was drunk, my husband was away, that exploding baby episode had just aired--
AM [waves hands frantically]: Whoa, way too much information!
ED: I want pictures.
[TW takes out his cellphone, dials a number, and briefly whispers into it]
AoT: So...Martha makes her way over to a big couch and sits down, leaning back and putting her feet up on a coffee table. "You're good at that."
JG: Lionel chuckles. "This from the lady making waves all over Capitol Hill. Your own hidden talents never cease to amaze me."
KK: Wait. Is that...a double entendre?
AoT: "Lionel, I should probably cut the pretense."
ED: "I want you to do me like a fucking ruthless savage!"
MR: You would prefer cavemen.
JG: "Nonsense. You're good at delicately building up to things."
KK: There it goes again!
AoT: Martha laughs. "All right, all right. Have you heard anything about some West Coast senator pushing for a replacement for the Metahuman Rights Commission?"
JG: Lionel picks up a manila folder lying on his desk and looks at it. Quick cut to show a generic "ATHENA" label on the front, then back to Lionel. "A replacement? That doesn't ring any bells..."
AoT: "I haven't been able to find out much about it. Just that it's some sort of new, top-secret government project that has something to do with the Metahuman Rights Commission."
JG: Lionel puts the folder down and pauses for a few seconds to consider his words. "Martha, that actually sounds like Athena."
AoT: Martha, who at this point has taken off her shoes and is rubbing her own sore feet, pauses. "Athena?"
JG: "It's an international agency some people are putting together. Us, some of our allies..."
AoT: Profile shot of Martha wearily putting her feet back up on the coffee table, legs at full extension. [briefly looks at TW in surprise]
AM: Leg porn? We're dabbling in leg porn now?
AoT: I suppose someone needs to show you how it's done.
ED: Oh, please. We're getting along just fine, thanks.
JG: So you say.
AoT: "Let me guess. An international version of the MRC."
JG: "Not quite. Athena's purpose is to deal with significant threats to the country and its allies--metahuman or otherwise. More so the otherwise at this point."
AoT: "I see. So how do you know about it?"
JG: "Lex, actually. He's been approached to run it."
AoT: "Lex? You're kidding."
JG: "I'm quite serious, Martha. Senator Chandra came in person to offer him the job."
AoT: Martha frowns. "Chandra. First he adds that whole 'entity of mass destruction' clause to the MRA, and now he's working on something that no doubt would supersede its authority..."
JG: Lionel looks up and off-camera at a light tapping noise, then beckons someone with one hand. Cut to a tracking shot of Otis walking into the office and placing an oblong device on Lionel's desk.
MR: Is that...?
TW: Yes, it's the device Mr. Ferret gave Lex in the last episode.
MR: Dammit.
AM: At this rate, the only way Lex is really going to get over on Lionel is to kill him.
JG: That will never happen. Lex is a punk.
MR: Iron Lex will show you, old man!
JG [snorts]: Lionel picks up the device and turns it this way and that while talking to Martha. "I doubt he'll take the job, to be honest. Between rebuilding the Slab, LuthorCorp helping out with the reconstruction projects in Metropolis after the incursion and that Lobo attack, all his other obligations..."
ED: Hey, he's lying to Martha's face! Lex already accepted the job!
AoT: And Lionel is lying to Martha because...?
JG: Hello? He's a bastard?
AoT: Even to Martha?
JG [after a few seconds]: Well, a regretful one.
AoT: Martha takes a moment to unbutton the top two buttons of her blouse, rolling her head around on her neck a couple of times while rubbing the base of her neck and shoulders under the blouse. [to TW] Why are you writing Martha like an attractive woman?
KK: I was wondering that myself.
AoT: You're trying to make me forget that you haven't dealt with our friends [scowls] yet, aren't you?
TW: No, actually. And I haven't forgotten about our goddamn "friends." I thought you would just appreciate showing that Martha Kent isn't just Clark's mother...that she's a woman.
AoT: That sounds faintly insulting.
JG: And what a woman she is.
AoT: That, however, does not.
KK: Careful, John, your heterosexual side is showing.
JG [clears throat]: Okay, enough of that.
AoT [laughs]: Martha sits up on the couch, tucking her legs under her. "Lionel, I suppose something like Athena was inevitable after the incursion. Fine. But I don't want the MRC to be compromised to make way for this--it would be a disservice to the metahumans who helped us, to all the others who have done nothing wrong..."
ED: Okay, why is everybody calling it an "incursion"? What's wrong with a good old-fashioned "invasion"?
AM: It sounds more dramatic?
ED: It sounds like something from the History Channel! This is boring!
Continued...
JG: And we come back from commercials to Lois.
ED: Yeah!
TW: We fade in on a quarter-circle pan around her sitting on the corner of her desk at the Daily Planet. She's on the phone.
ED: Reading my stuff! "Hey, Teddy-bear--"
AM+KK: Teddy-bear?
JG [groans]: Dammit, can we change that? Ted shouldn't be called...that.
MR: Any more castration and Sherri Shepherd will be feeling up his man-boobs on national television.
AoT: If either one of them gets to "snookums," I will not be responsible for my actions.
TW: I gave you people the tank top. Shut up.
MR: Christ, Tom, at least go with Bitsy. Lois isn't smart enough for more than one endearment anyway.
ED: Lois is smart enough not to want to sleep with a robot!
MR [to TW]: How about a clone?
ED: She's still smarter than that!
MR [after a beat]: Even if it was a clone of a really hot guy? Say, Clive Owen?
ED: Ye--well, no...ye--nnn-- [thinks]
KK [monotone]: Logic conflict. Does not compute. Does not compute.
AoT: Congratulations, Michael. You might have actually short-circuited Erica's brain.
MR: And I wasn't even talking to her!
ED [through her teeth]: Goddammit!
JG: You can come back to that. Read your line.
ED [sighs]: "Teddy-bear, it's Lois. I'm back at the Planet for a minute--my contact didn't show up for the meet. Call me when you catch up to that guy, okay? See you later."
JG: As co-writer, I'm making a judgment call on that. We're going with Bitsy.
TW: John--
AM: Tom, the universe isn't going to end if we change that specific word.
TW [thinks]: Okay, fine. Bitsy it is.
JG: Thank you.
TW: As Lois hangs up the phone Evelyn, the reporter from KTMP, walks into the bullpen. "Lois?"
ED: "Oh, hey, Evelyn! You got my message?"
TW: "I admit, it's rare to get a call for help from the competition."
AM: Or in this case her betters.
ED: "In this case, we both win. I've been sitting on something I need some help with."
MR: Evelyn gets to massage Lois's ass? Ratings bonanza!
ED: You wish. "Remember the fight at the Slab?"
TW: "With the mysterious flying guy?"
ED: "Yep. I have video footage of a big chunk of the fight, up close and personal."
TW: Evelyn looks suitably impressed. "Okay, Lane, how the hell did you pull that off?"
ED: "No fear and a Handycam. The problem is, it's very shaky and we don't have the equipment to really process it here..."
TW: "So you want to use KTMP's gear to clean up the video?"
ED: "Exactly. You do it all the time, and I think we can identify the guy who put the button on Lex Luthor's big day."
AoT: Chloe with a laptop could do that. Or Jimmy. Or that one guy from a few episodes back.
TW: Dramatic effect.
AM: I do not think those words mean what you think they mean.
AoT: Certainly not on this show.
TW: "What's in it for me?"
ED: Lois considers that for a minute.
JG: Or ten.
ED: Will you stop that? "A copy for you and KTMP to use, as long as credit is properly given. But of course the Daily Planet gets their exclusive out first."
TW: Evelyn thinks about that. "Does anybody else know about this yet?"
ED: "Just my partner, but he's the soul of discretion."
TW: Evelyn sticks out her hand. "I think I can get my cameraman to set everything up. Bring the tape by in, say, an hour."
ED: Lois grins and shakes Evelyn's hand. "Then I think we've got a deal, Evelyn."
JG: And we cut immediately to a shot of the phone on Lionel's desk with the handset missing. Lionel is talking over the shot. "A deal is a deal, Senator Hayward...yes, of course I understand about your constituency. I also understand that your state is one of the three frontrunners for that new aerospace facility contract..."
AoT: Ah, to be rich and bastardly.
JG: There's no other way to live. "Yes, I'm glad we understand each other. Good day, Senator." Lionel's hand moves into the shot and puts the handset on the phone.
TW: Pan up and over to a profile shot of Lionel as he leans back in his chair, hand on his chin, deep in thought.
MR: Thinking of how Lex finally got one over on him?
JG: When was this?
MR: The Athena thing!
JG: Yes, we're coming to that...
MR: What? What are you doing, John?
JG: Lionel thinks for a few more seconds, then reaches for the phone again. It rings before he can pick it up, so he does. "Yes? Senator Kent? Put her through...Martha?"
AoT: Finally.
TW: And we cut to Martha walking into what appears to be a fairly plush living room, sunset shining through a window in the corner of the shot. She's got a cellphone balanced against her cheek as she's taking off her coat. Annette, I imagine you want to--
AoT: There was doubt? "Lionel, hi. I'm not catching you in the middle of anything, am I?"
JG: Back-and-forth cuts for the remainder of the scene. "Oh, no. Just the usual, trying to find ways to save the stockholders money...save the world..."
AoT: Martha by now is out of her coat--wait, what's she wearing?
TW: Whatever you want, Annette.
AoT [instantly]: Blue blouse, gray skirt, smoke-colored hose and high heels.
ED: Damn, Annette, you're supposed to think about your wardrobe.
AoT: I could make a trash bag look good, young lady.
JG: Which she has.
AoT: That was just the one time! I was drunk, my husband was away, that exploding baby episode had just aired--
AM [waves hands frantically]: Whoa, way too much information!
ED: I want pictures.
[TW takes out his cellphone, dials a number, and briefly whispers into it]
AoT: So...Martha makes her way over to a big couch and sits down, leaning back and putting her feet up on a coffee table. "You're good at that."
JG: Lionel chuckles. "This from the lady making waves all over Capitol Hill. Your own hidden talents never cease to amaze me."
KK: Wait. Is that...a double entendre?
AoT: "Lionel, I should probably cut the pretense."
ED: "I want you to do me like a fucking ruthless savage!"
MR: You would prefer cavemen.
JG: "Nonsense. You're good at delicately building up to things."
KK: There it goes again!
AoT: Martha laughs. "All right, all right. Have you heard anything about some West Coast senator pushing for a replacement for the Metahuman Rights Commission?"
JG: Lionel picks up a manila folder lying on his desk and looks at it. Quick cut to show a generic "ATHENA" label on the front, then back to Lionel. "A replacement? That doesn't ring any bells..."
AoT: "I haven't been able to find out much about it. Just that it's some sort of new, top-secret government project that has something to do with the Metahuman Rights Commission."
JG: Lionel puts the folder down and pauses for a few seconds to consider his words. "Martha, that actually sounds like Athena."
AoT: Martha, who at this point has taken off her shoes and is rubbing her own sore feet, pauses. "Athena?"
JG: "It's an international agency some people are putting together. Us, some of our allies..."
AoT: Profile shot of Martha wearily putting her feet back up on the coffee table, legs at full extension. [briefly looks at TW in surprise]
AM: Leg porn? We're dabbling in leg porn now?
AoT: I suppose someone needs to show you how it's done.
ED: Oh, please. We're getting along just fine, thanks.
JG: So you say.
AoT: "Let me guess. An international version of the MRC."
JG: "Not quite. Athena's purpose is to deal with significant threats to the country and its allies--metahuman or otherwise. More so the otherwise at this point."
AoT: "I see. So how do you know about it?"
JG: "Lex, actually. He's been approached to run it."
AoT: "Lex? You're kidding."
JG: "I'm quite serious, Martha. Senator Chandra came in person to offer him the job."
AoT: Martha frowns. "Chandra. First he adds that whole 'entity of mass destruction' clause to the MRA, and now he's working on something that no doubt would supersede its authority..."
JG: Lionel looks up and off-camera at a light tapping noise, then beckons someone with one hand. Cut to a tracking shot of Otis walking into the office and placing an oblong device on Lionel's desk.
MR: Is that...?
TW: Yes, it's the device Mr. Ferret gave Lex in the last episode.
MR: Dammit.
AM: At this rate, the only way Lex is really going to get over on Lionel is to kill him.
JG: That will never happen. Lex is a punk.
MR: Iron Lex will show you, old man!
JG [snorts]: Lionel picks up the device and turns it this way and that while talking to Martha. "I doubt he'll take the job, to be honest. Between rebuilding the Slab, LuthorCorp helping out with the reconstruction projects in Metropolis after the incursion and that Lobo attack, all his other obligations..."
ED: Hey, he's lying to Martha's face! Lex already accepted the job!
AoT: And Lionel is lying to Martha because...?
JG: Hello? He's a bastard?
AoT: Even to Martha?
JG [after a few seconds]: Well, a regretful one.
AoT: Martha takes a moment to unbutton the top two buttons of her blouse, rolling her head around on her neck a couple of times while rubbing the base of her neck and shoulders under the blouse. [to TW] Why are you writing Martha like an attractive woman?
KK: I was wondering that myself.
AoT: You're trying to make me forget that you haven't dealt with our friends [scowls] yet, aren't you?
TW: No, actually. And I haven't forgotten about our goddamn "friends." I thought you would just appreciate showing that Martha Kent isn't just Clark's mother...that she's a woman.
AoT: That sounds faintly insulting.
JG: And what a woman she is.
AoT: That, however, does not.
KK: Careful, John, your heterosexual side is showing.
JG [clears throat]: Okay, enough of that.
AoT [laughs]: Martha sits up on the couch, tucking her legs under her. "Lionel, I suppose something like Athena was inevitable after the incursion. Fine. But I don't want the MRC to be compromised to make way for this--it would be a disservice to the metahumans who helped us, to all the others who have done nothing wrong..."
ED: Okay, why is everybody calling it an "incursion"? What's wrong with a good old-fashioned "invasion"?
AM: It sounds more dramatic?
ED: It sounds like something from the History Channel! This is boring!
Continued...
7.19 Confession (Part V) by TW and JG
as retold by Bill C
ED: Hold it. Is Clark still shirtless?
KK: What?
TW: Actually, he grabbed a shirt on his way... [skims script] Okay, there was a line in here about Clark grabbing a shirt before going into the loft. [looks at JG]
JG [after a few seconds]: A wizard did it?
MR: You dirty old wizard.
JG: That's bastard, thank you.
AoT: John Glover, old dirty bastard.
ED [brightly]: Oh, that's great!
AoT: What is?
ED: Ol' dirty bastard!
JG: I think I'd rather be called magnifi--
ED [raps]: Cash rules everything around me. C.R.E.A.M., get the money--dollar dollar bill, y'all...
[Everybody stares at ED]
ED: Oh, for God--you never listened to Wu-Tang Clan? Enter the Wu-Tang?
MR: More like Enter the Lu-thor.
AM: Zod already did that.
MR: Okay, I left myself wide open for that.
AoT: If it's not Elton John, it's crap.
JG: I can't believe I'm saying this...but I actually got Erica's joke.
AM: Cash does rule everything around you, John.
JG: Well, yes, it does.
ED: Good for you, ODB!
[JG sighs]
AoT [to JG]: You encouraged her.
KK [skims script]: Okay. So Clark has been shirtless for an entire scene?
AM: Technically, two scenes.
AoT: This may actually be unprecedented.
TW: Where'd I put that pen...
ED: It hasn't happened since I've been here, I think.
JG: This is the first sweeps episode, Tom. Clark should stay shirtless in this scene.
ED: And not just because the episode is so boring.
TW: Clark wouldn't just sit around shirtless with company.
KK: Chloe's a bit past "company," though.
ED: Come on! Consider it a love letter to your fans!
MR [to ED]: More like one of those beefcake greeting cards.
TW [finally pulls out a pen]: Okay, Clark grabs a--
ED: Towel?
AoT: Shirt, but he forgets to button it up?
AM: Blue or red wifebeater?
KK: Okay, I like that one.
AoT: Which would be preferable in this case: his chest or his arms?
ED: Considering he spent an entire scene bending and stretching...and bending...
KK: And sweating.
JG: Let's go with the wifebeater and not cut the viewers off cold turkey from the beefcake.
ED: It's even part of Clark's fashion code!
AM: All in favor? [AM, KK, ED, JG and AoT raise their hands]
TW [thinks]: You know what? I don't want to argue the point right now. [scribbles in script] Clark grabs a red tank top on his way up the stairs and puts it on. There.
AM: Seriously, Tom, it--wait. [surprised] My suggestion goes?
TW: Yes, Allison.
AM: Uh...damn.
TW: Getting back to the episode, okay?
AM: Okay!
JG: Yes, there's a great Lionel/Martha scene coming up.
AoT: Since Martha isn't at home with her son or anything like that.
TW: Clark looks at Chloe with a combination of anxiety and sadness. Slow zoom on him, as some quietly dramatic music starts up. "Chloe...do you really want to hear this?"
AM: Slow zoom on Chloe. "Yes, Clark. All of it."
TW: Clark takes a deep breath. "Okay. You know about the invasion."
AM: "Of course."
TW: "The aliens came from a planet called Apokolips. Apokolips and Krypton were at war."
AM: "Okay, I get that. But what exactly was the Crusade?"
TW: "Zod was Krypton's military commander. He came up with a plan to...to modify human beings for use as troops in the war."
AM: Chloe hits the "WTF?" face. "So Lex got the idea from...God, that figures, he never has an original idea in his head."
MR: Hey!
ED: Oh, God, exposition hell.
AM: Chloe then pauses to consider something. "Wait. So...that girl who claimed to be Kara a few years ago..."
TW: Clark nods. "Yeah, that was probably a good example of what Zod had in mind."
AM: "But Jor-El--the Fortress version--he was responsible for that, right? So it and Brainiac were allies?"
TW: "No, no. Jor-El was set up just to protect me when I was sent here. That's all. Kara...that girl...was already dead by the time Jor-El took over."
AM: Chloe frowns a little. "Well, that's suitably disturbing. Okay, so I'm assuming Zod's plan never got off the ground. What happened?"
TW: Clark stands up and takes a couple of steps towards Chloe. "Zod's plan involved a first strike on Apokolips. This got him in trouble with the Kryptonian government."
AM: "Even Jor-El?"
TW: "Yeah. It's what got him banished to the Phantom Zone."
JG: At this point we fade to a flashback to Zod beating down Clark in Return and ranting about how he was screwed over by the Kryptonian government.
MR: Even in deep space, the Man still keeps you down.
JG: The audio is kept low so we can hear Clark and Chloe talking over it. Before Clark's next line, it changes to the scene from Escape with Darkseid bragging to him and Zod about how he orchestrated the whole thing.
TW: "Zod originally wanted to use modified humans for a sneak attack, but Jor-El wouldn't allow it. Zod thought Apokolips would definitely launch a full-scale assault on Krypton at some point, and he went ahead with the first strike anyway...starting the war."
AM: "And the Man didn't--" [grumbles] Dammit, Michael!
[MR laughs]
AM: "And the Kryptonian government didn't like it."
TW: "For a while he blatantly defied the orders of his superiors and engaged Apokolips' forces while they were trying to find a peaceful solution to everything. Even Jor-El couldn't condone what he did, and eventually Zod was tried as a renegade...convicted...and exiled to the Phantom Zone." End flashback and fade back to Clark as he finishes saying that.
ED: See? If it's going to be this boring, we might as well get some arm porn out of it.
JG: Okay, you can stop making sense now.
AM: Pan over to Chloe, arms folded. "And after this was when Krypton was destroyed. So when Zod was released last year, and he was apparently trying to remake Earth in Krypton's image...he was trying to pick up where he left off?"
TW: "Probably."
JG: God, this seemed a lot shorter in print.
AM: Chloe nods. "Great. So how does this tie into the invasion I missed out on?"
TW: Cut back to Clark. "Zod was freed from the Zone again right before that. At the time I was trying to find this man named Hasaad--it turned out that he was from Apokolips, and set the whole invasion up."
AM: "Why does that figure?" Whoa. Acknowledging the schlock ever so slightly?
TW: It seemed fitting. "Zod and I ended up going to Apokolips, got captured, escaped, and I managed to get back to Earth--but Zod died there, fighting to save me and the rest of us."
MR: He did not! He died because he didn't want to spend the rest of his life living with apes!
ED: Damn, people, can't you blow up a car or something?
KK: Or show Lois in a bikini.
AoT: She's easy.
ED: Yeah!
AoT: You missed it again.
ED: Missed what?
AM: Chloe scowls and gets a little bitchy. "So Zod basically didn't try to screw Earth over that time just because he was too focused on Apokolips. Of course. People are alike all over, huh?"
TW: Clark walks back over to the window, then turns to look at Chloe. "I honestly didn't know Brainiac had survived, Chloe. Zod never said--"
AM: "Yeah, like he'd just go 'Oh, Kal-El, before I forget--I left a Brainiac running loose on Earth trying to continue my work and restart an interstellar war that ended decades ago. Sorry about that.' Between him, Jor-El, and the Zoners...I don't know how the hell your people ever got respected as any sort of great or superior race, Clark. You're all so judgmental and holier-than-thou--"
KK [surprised]: Whoa.
ED: Wow.
MR [to JG]: You or Tom?
JG [thinks]: Him, I think.
MR [to TW]: Damn, Tom.
AM: Can I continue? "You're all so damn judgmental and holier-than-thou, pronouncing hypocritical judgments on all those you declare lesser than yourselves."
[KK starts giggling]
TW: Clark is stung by Chloe's outburst. "Chloe, I'm nothing like that."
MR: The captain is now turning on the "unbelievable bullshit" sign...
AM: "Aren't you, just a little? Even if you can't admit it to yourself now?" And on that note Chloe turns on her heel, walks down the stairs, and heads out of the barn.
TW: Cut to a tracking shot of Chloe as she goes down the stairs, which becomes a front shot as she walks towards the barn doors, and she stops as an out-of-focus Clark comes halfway down the stairs and calls out "Chloe, wait! Where are you going?"
AM: A flash of sadness zips across Chloe's face, but just for a second. Her voice betrays nothing. "This girl's got things to do, Clark." And the camera moves up and over her as she walks out, then centers on Clark looking confused and concerned on the stairs.
MR: Truth sucks, huh, Clark?
TW: It's supposed to be Chloe feeling...well, not all that normal.
AoT: Which just gives her carte blanche to tell people off, because it'll all be reset later. Which it will be.
KK [stops giggling]: Good point. Damn!
JG: Aaaaand we go to commercials after that.
Continued...
ED: Hold it. Is Clark still shirtless?
KK: What?
TW: Actually, he grabbed a shirt on his way... [skims script] Okay, there was a line in here about Clark grabbing a shirt before going into the loft. [looks at JG]
JG [after a few seconds]: A wizard did it?
MR: You dirty old wizard.
JG: That's bastard, thank you.
AoT: John Glover, old dirty bastard.
ED [brightly]: Oh, that's great!
AoT: What is?
ED: Ol' dirty bastard!
JG: I think I'd rather be called magnifi--
ED [raps]: Cash rules everything around me. C.R.E.A.M., get the money--dollar dollar bill, y'all...
[Everybody stares at ED]
ED: Oh, for God--you never listened to Wu-Tang Clan? Enter the Wu-Tang?
MR: More like Enter the Lu-thor.
AM: Zod already did that.
MR: Okay, I left myself wide open for that.
AoT: If it's not Elton John, it's crap.
JG: I can't believe I'm saying this...but I actually got Erica's joke.
AM: Cash does rule everything around you, John.
JG: Well, yes, it does.
ED: Good for you, ODB!
[JG sighs]
AoT [to JG]: You encouraged her.
KK [skims script]: Okay. So Clark has been shirtless for an entire scene?
AM: Technically, two scenes.
AoT: This may actually be unprecedented.
TW: Where'd I put that pen...
ED: It hasn't happened since I've been here, I think.
JG: This is the first sweeps episode, Tom. Clark should stay shirtless in this scene.
ED: And not just because the episode is so boring.
TW: Clark wouldn't just sit around shirtless with company.
KK: Chloe's a bit past "company," though.
ED: Come on! Consider it a love letter to your fans!
MR [to ED]: More like one of those beefcake greeting cards.
TW [finally pulls out a pen]: Okay, Clark grabs a--
ED: Towel?
AoT: Shirt, but he forgets to button it up?
AM: Blue or red wifebeater?
KK: Okay, I like that one.
AoT: Which would be preferable in this case: his chest or his arms?
ED: Considering he spent an entire scene bending and stretching...and bending...
KK: And sweating.
JG: Let's go with the wifebeater and not cut the viewers off cold turkey from the beefcake.
ED: It's even part of Clark's fashion code!
AM: All in favor? [AM, KK, ED, JG and AoT raise their hands]
TW [thinks]: You know what? I don't want to argue the point right now. [scribbles in script] Clark grabs a red tank top on his way up the stairs and puts it on. There.
AM: Seriously, Tom, it--wait. [surprised] My suggestion goes?
TW: Yes, Allison.
AM: Uh...damn.
TW: Getting back to the episode, okay?
AM: Okay!
JG: Yes, there's a great Lionel/Martha scene coming up.
AoT: Since Martha isn't at home with her son or anything like that.
TW: Clark looks at Chloe with a combination of anxiety and sadness. Slow zoom on him, as some quietly dramatic music starts up. "Chloe...do you really want to hear this?"
AM: Slow zoom on Chloe. "Yes, Clark. All of it."
TW: Clark takes a deep breath. "Okay. You know about the invasion."
AM: "Of course."
TW: "The aliens came from a planet called Apokolips. Apokolips and Krypton were at war."
AM: "Okay, I get that. But what exactly was the Crusade?"
TW: "Zod was Krypton's military commander. He came up with a plan to...to modify human beings for use as troops in the war."
AM: Chloe hits the "WTF?" face. "So Lex got the idea from...God, that figures, he never has an original idea in his head."
MR: Hey!
ED: Oh, God, exposition hell.
AM: Chloe then pauses to consider something. "Wait. So...that girl who claimed to be Kara a few years ago..."
TW: Clark nods. "Yeah, that was probably a good example of what Zod had in mind."
AM: "But Jor-El--the Fortress version--he was responsible for that, right? So it and Brainiac were allies?"
TW: "No, no. Jor-El was set up just to protect me when I was sent here. That's all. Kara...that girl...was already dead by the time Jor-El took over."
AM: Chloe frowns a little. "Well, that's suitably disturbing. Okay, so I'm assuming Zod's plan never got off the ground. What happened?"
TW: Clark stands up and takes a couple of steps towards Chloe. "Zod's plan involved a first strike on Apokolips. This got him in trouble with the Kryptonian government."
AM: "Even Jor-El?"
TW: "Yeah. It's what got him banished to the Phantom Zone."
JG: At this point we fade to a flashback to Zod beating down Clark in Return and ranting about how he was screwed over by the Kryptonian government.
MR: Even in deep space, the Man still keeps you down.
JG: The audio is kept low so we can hear Clark and Chloe talking over it. Before Clark's next line, it changes to the scene from Escape with Darkseid bragging to him and Zod about how he orchestrated the whole thing.
TW: "Zod originally wanted to use modified humans for a sneak attack, but Jor-El wouldn't allow it. Zod thought Apokolips would definitely launch a full-scale assault on Krypton at some point, and he went ahead with the first strike anyway...starting the war."
AM: "And the Man didn't--" [grumbles] Dammit, Michael!
[MR laughs]
AM: "And the Kryptonian government didn't like it."
TW: "For a while he blatantly defied the orders of his superiors and engaged Apokolips' forces while they were trying to find a peaceful solution to everything. Even Jor-El couldn't condone what he did, and eventually Zod was tried as a renegade...convicted...and exiled to the Phantom Zone." End flashback and fade back to Clark as he finishes saying that.
ED: See? If it's going to be this boring, we might as well get some arm porn out of it.
JG: Okay, you can stop making sense now.
AM: Pan over to Chloe, arms folded. "And after this was when Krypton was destroyed. So when Zod was released last year, and he was apparently trying to remake Earth in Krypton's image...he was trying to pick up where he left off?"
TW: "Probably."
JG: God, this seemed a lot shorter in print.
AM: Chloe nods. "Great. So how does this tie into the invasion I missed out on?"
TW: Cut back to Clark. "Zod was freed from the Zone again right before that. At the time I was trying to find this man named Hasaad--it turned out that he was from Apokolips, and set the whole invasion up."
AM: "Why does that figure?" Whoa. Acknowledging the schlock ever so slightly?
TW: It seemed fitting. "Zod and I ended up going to Apokolips, got captured, escaped, and I managed to get back to Earth--but Zod died there, fighting to save me and the rest of us."
MR: He did not! He died because he didn't want to spend the rest of his life living with apes!
ED: Damn, people, can't you blow up a car or something?
KK: Or show Lois in a bikini.
AoT: She's easy.
ED: Yeah!
AoT: You missed it again.
ED: Missed what?
AM: Chloe scowls and gets a little bitchy. "So Zod basically didn't try to screw Earth over that time just because he was too focused on Apokolips. Of course. People are alike all over, huh?"
TW: Clark walks back over to the window, then turns to look at Chloe. "I honestly didn't know Brainiac had survived, Chloe. Zod never said--"
AM: "Yeah, like he'd just go 'Oh, Kal-El, before I forget--I left a Brainiac running loose on Earth trying to continue my work and restart an interstellar war that ended decades ago. Sorry about that.' Between him, Jor-El, and the Zoners...I don't know how the hell your people ever got respected as any sort of great or superior race, Clark. You're all so judgmental and holier-than-thou--"
KK [surprised]: Whoa.
ED: Wow.
MR [to JG]: You or Tom?
JG [thinks]: Him, I think.
MR [to TW]: Damn, Tom.
AM: Can I continue? "You're all so damn judgmental and holier-than-thou, pronouncing hypocritical judgments on all those you declare lesser than yourselves."
[KK starts giggling]
TW: Clark is stung by Chloe's outburst. "Chloe, I'm nothing like that."
MR: The captain is now turning on the "unbelievable bullshit" sign...
AM: "Aren't you, just a little? Even if you can't admit it to yourself now?" And on that note Chloe turns on her heel, walks down the stairs, and heads out of the barn.
TW: Cut to a tracking shot of Chloe as she goes down the stairs, which becomes a front shot as she walks towards the barn doors, and she stops as an out-of-focus Clark comes halfway down the stairs and calls out "Chloe, wait! Where are you going?"
AM: A flash of sadness zips across Chloe's face, but just for a second. Her voice betrays nothing. "This girl's got things to do, Clark." And the camera moves up and over her as she walks out, then centers on Clark looking confused and concerned on the stairs.
MR: Truth sucks, huh, Clark?
TW: It's supposed to be Chloe feeling...well, not all that normal.
AoT: Which just gives her carte blanche to tell people off, because it'll all be reset later. Which it will be.
KK [stops giggling]: Good point. Damn!
JG: Aaaaand we go to commercials after that.
Continued...
7.19 Confession (Part IV) by TW and JG
as retold by Bill C
TW: We come back on an establishing shot of the Kent farm, accompanied by ambient noise. Hold on the shot while the ambient noise is punctuated twice by a loud "whack."
ED: Wow. This is actually more boring than Lex and the headband.
Cut to a shot of a tree stump with a block of wood sitting on top of it; an axe handle comes in from the top of the shot and splits the block in two. A hand comes into the shot, puts another block of wood on top of the stump, leaves, and again down comes the axe.
MR: I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay?
JG: Pan up to show Clark, shirtless and in jeans--
AM: Shirtless?
ED: Shirtless?
AoT: Oh my.
MR: What happened to all clothed, all the time?
TW: John actually made a compelling argument that--
JG: It'll be a lot easier for people to swallow this cheap episode if we throw them a bone. And that bone is shirtless, sweaty Clark.
AM: And you went for it?
AoT [after a few seconds]: Can we get shirtless Clark--
TW: No.
AoT: In leather--
TW: No.
AoT: You don't know what I was going to--
TW: No.
[AoT pouts]
JG: I tried, ladies. God, I tried.
TW: Clark continues putting blocks on the stump and chopping them up for a bit, almost mechanically, as some quietly dramatic music starts up in the background. And as he chops, the camera slowly zooms in on his face--he starts getting mad--and he starts putting more effort into the axe swings. And on each "whack" we briefly cut to a quick silent shot of something completely different.
JG: Whack, cut to the shot of Clark seeing Bruce Wayne's dead parents.
TW: Whack, Zod punching Clark out in the FoS.
JG: Whack, the battle at the Slab in Revolt.
TW: Whack, Chloe's death.
AM [frowns]: Oh, great...thanks, guys.
JG: Whack, Lana's death.
MR: Can he have the Lanabot then?
TW: And finally whack, Darkseid punching Clark into the wall on Apokolips. And on that last one Clark swings the axe hard enough to not only send the split pieces of wood flying in two directions up and out of the shot...but we cut down to see he got the axe itself stuck in the stump and broke the handle.
ED: Damn. So even Mother Nature has to feel Clark's pain?
AM: I think the only person who's managed to not feel his pain has been...ummm...hmm...okay, give me a minute...
JG: While Allison's working that out...zoom out to a shot of Clark glaring down at the axe. And then we hear Chloe's voice from offscreen: "Stocking up on firewood for the decade, Clark?"
TW: Clark turns around, and we pan over slightly to see Chloe standing behind him holding one of the last two pieces of wood. Quick cut to a reaction shot of Clark, looking surprised. "Chloe..."
AM: What's Chloe wearing? Still the white dress?
TW: No, by now she's changed into a white blouse and jeans under a white longcoat.
AM: Surprisingly tasteful.
ED: Kind of Highlander-esque, though.
AM: Well, there can be only one...Chloe. [points at MR as he opens his mouth] Not a word, smartass.
TW: Cut back to the previous shot as Chloe tosses the piece of wood away. Then cut to the two of them walking into the loft, and Clark's talking. "I was wondering what you were up to, Chloe. You've become a very hard woman to get a hold of."
[KK enters]
AoT [noticing KK]: Kristin, I believe you're just in time for a loft scene.
KK [to TW]: I hate you. [to AoT] What? A loft scene? Oh, Christ...
AoT: In fairness, we haven't had one in a while.
KK: We don't need one now!
MR: Hey, did you catch up to Dawn?
KK: No. Just her secretary, who kept saying that Tom now has Dawn's full support. Whatever the hell that means.
JG: All will be made clear later. Allison, care to read for Chloe?
AM: Yeah, sure. 'kay...Chloe leans against one of the staircase bannisters. "A girl's got things to do, Clark. How'd the old song go--'sisters are doing it for themselves'?"
TW: Cut to Clark sitting at his usual spot by the window, looking back at Chloe. "I'm just glad you're okay."
AM: Chloe sounds ever so bitter, looking around that damn barn. "Okay is definitely a state of mind, Clark."
TW: "Yeah, it is." Clark looks out the window for a few seconds. "A state of mind..."
AM: "You know what's on my mind, Clark?"
MR: Finally being able to screw her BFF super-style?
ED: Whipping out a sword and chopping off Clark's head?
AoT: The big one or the little one?
JG: Annette!
ED [groans]: My brain!
TW [sighs]: "What is it, Chloe?"
AM: Chloe looks up at Clark. "Milton Fine. The artist formerly known as the Brain Interactive Construct."
TW: That wakes Clark up in a hurry. He looks at Chloe with the typical "Clark says 'what?'" look on his face.
AM: Chloe walks the rest of the way up the stairs into the loft, and sits down in a chair. "Clark, while you were getting a beatdown from Lex at the Slab...I was having a meeting of the minds with that...that thing."
TW: "Wait--Brainiac is alive?!?"
AM: Chloe shrugs. "Not any more. The son of a bitch is dead now."
MR: Cool. Chloe's owning her superbadassness.
AM: Damn straight. "He thought he could use me. He thought wrong."
TW: Clark looks intently at Chloe. "What happened?"
AM: "Well, he kidnapped me and took me back to Lex's chamber of horrors--wanted to use me like something out of The Matrix. He...it...whatever the hell it was...it screwed with my mind, damn near killed me--"
TW: Clark's hands are balled up into fists at this point. "Brainiac and Lex were working to--"
AM: "Actually, no, I don't think they were. Like it matters now. Brainiac is definitely dead, though. I saw him die. I felt him die."
TW: "You what?"
AM: Chloe smiles wearily. "And that brings me to why I'm here. Before I recycled Brainiac--"
ED: Oh, God. Chloe's speaking like a smartassed action movie heroine.
AoT [thoughtful]: As opposed to the smartassed spunky sidekick she was when this season started?
ED: I see your point.
AM: Quiet, you two. "Before I recycled Brainiac, I got a chance to look inside its mind. I know it was working for Zod, Clark. But I'm somewhat fuzzy on the why...only that it had something to do with that little alien invasion that happened while I was...out. And something called the Crusade."
MR: Oh, come on. Make her say she was dead.
TW: We don't really need to.
MR: Yeah, but it'd be nice if she did.
TW: Clark is taken aback by Chloe's remark. "The Kryptonian Crusade?"
AM: Chloe frowns. "What, Clark, were your people working on a plan to conquer the world all along?"
ED: From zero to paranoid in five seconds flat?
TW: "N-no, Chloe, that's not it."
AM: "You don't get it, Clark. Brainiac's plan...was to use my...my body--"
MR: For his own sick, depraved sexual urges.
ED: Ew.
MR: Afterwards, Brainiac would have served juice.
AM: Chloe gets a little passionate here. "--as genetic material in order to somehow cross-breed an entire race of...of...of freaks, Clark, of freaks! An army of them!"
ED: Okay, how did that song go again... [sings] And if you complain once more...
JG [sighs]: Quiet, Durance.
ED: ...you'll meet an army of meeeee...
[KK hits ED in the head with an eraser]
AM: Chloe points at Clark. "I need to know exactly what Zod was up to, Clark. I need to know about this Kryptonian Crusade. And if it's all right with you I'd like to know right now."
Continued...
TW: We come back on an establishing shot of the Kent farm, accompanied by ambient noise. Hold on the shot while the ambient noise is punctuated twice by a loud "whack."
ED: Wow. This is actually more boring than Lex and the headband.
Cut to a shot of a tree stump with a block of wood sitting on top of it; an axe handle comes in from the top of the shot and splits the block in two. A hand comes into the shot, puts another block of wood on top of the stump, leaves, and again down comes the axe.
MR: I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay?
JG: Pan up to show Clark, shirtless and in jeans--
AM: Shirtless?
ED: Shirtless?
AoT: Oh my.
MR: What happened to all clothed, all the time?
TW: John actually made a compelling argument that--
JG: It'll be a lot easier for people to swallow this cheap episode if we throw them a bone. And that bone is shirtless, sweaty Clark.
AM: And you went for it?
AoT [after a few seconds]: Can we get shirtless Clark--
TW: No.
AoT: In leather--
TW: No.
AoT: You don't know what I was going to--
TW: No.
[AoT pouts]
JG: I tried, ladies. God, I tried.
TW: Clark continues putting blocks on the stump and chopping them up for a bit, almost mechanically, as some quietly dramatic music starts up in the background. And as he chops, the camera slowly zooms in on his face--he starts getting mad--and he starts putting more effort into the axe swings. And on each "whack" we briefly cut to a quick silent shot of something completely different.
JG: Whack, cut to the shot of Clark seeing Bruce Wayne's dead parents.
TW: Whack, Zod punching Clark out in the FoS.
JG: Whack, the battle at the Slab in Revolt.
TW: Whack, Chloe's death.
AM [frowns]: Oh, great...thanks, guys.
JG: Whack, Lana's death.
MR: Can he have the Lanabot then?
TW: And finally whack, Darkseid punching Clark into the wall on Apokolips. And on that last one Clark swings the axe hard enough to not only send the split pieces of wood flying in two directions up and out of the shot...but we cut down to see he got the axe itself stuck in the stump and broke the handle.
ED: Damn. So even Mother Nature has to feel Clark's pain?
AM: I think the only person who's managed to not feel his pain has been...ummm...hmm...okay, give me a minute...
JG: While Allison's working that out...zoom out to a shot of Clark glaring down at the axe. And then we hear Chloe's voice from offscreen: "Stocking up on firewood for the decade, Clark?"
TW: Clark turns around, and we pan over slightly to see Chloe standing behind him holding one of the last two pieces of wood. Quick cut to a reaction shot of Clark, looking surprised. "Chloe..."
AM: What's Chloe wearing? Still the white dress?
TW: No, by now she's changed into a white blouse and jeans under a white longcoat.
AM: Surprisingly tasteful.
ED: Kind of Highlander-esque, though.
AM: Well, there can be only one...Chloe. [points at MR as he opens his mouth] Not a word, smartass.
TW: Cut back to the previous shot as Chloe tosses the piece of wood away. Then cut to the two of them walking into the loft, and Clark's talking. "I was wondering what you were up to, Chloe. You've become a very hard woman to get a hold of."
[KK enters]
AoT [noticing KK]: Kristin, I believe you're just in time for a loft scene.
KK [to TW]: I hate you. [to AoT] What? A loft scene? Oh, Christ...
AoT: In fairness, we haven't had one in a while.
KK: We don't need one now!
MR: Hey, did you catch up to Dawn?
KK: No. Just her secretary, who kept saying that Tom now has Dawn's full support. Whatever the hell that means.
JG: All will be made clear later. Allison, care to read for Chloe?
AM: Yeah, sure. 'kay...Chloe leans against one of the staircase bannisters. "A girl's got things to do, Clark. How'd the old song go--'sisters are doing it for themselves'?"
TW: Cut to Clark sitting at his usual spot by the window, looking back at Chloe. "I'm just glad you're okay."
AM: Chloe sounds ever so bitter, looking around that damn barn. "Okay is definitely a state of mind, Clark."
TW: "Yeah, it is." Clark looks out the window for a few seconds. "A state of mind..."
AM: "You know what's on my mind, Clark?"
MR: Finally being able to screw her BFF super-style?
ED: Whipping out a sword and chopping off Clark's head?
AoT: The big one or the little one?
JG: Annette!
ED [groans]: My brain!
TW [sighs]: "What is it, Chloe?"
AM: Chloe looks up at Clark. "Milton Fine. The artist formerly known as the Brain Interactive Construct."
TW: That wakes Clark up in a hurry. He looks at Chloe with the typical "Clark says 'what?'" look on his face.
AM: Chloe walks the rest of the way up the stairs into the loft, and sits down in a chair. "Clark, while you were getting a beatdown from Lex at the Slab...I was having a meeting of the minds with that...that thing."
TW: "Wait--Brainiac is alive?!?"
AM: Chloe shrugs. "Not any more. The son of a bitch is dead now."
MR: Cool. Chloe's owning her superbadassness.
AM: Damn straight. "He thought he could use me. He thought wrong."
TW: Clark looks intently at Chloe. "What happened?"
AM: "Well, he kidnapped me and took me back to Lex's chamber of horrors--wanted to use me like something out of The Matrix. He...it...whatever the hell it was...it screwed with my mind, damn near killed me--"
TW: Clark's hands are balled up into fists at this point. "Brainiac and Lex were working to--"
AM: "Actually, no, I don't think they were. Like it matters now. Brainiac is definitely dead, though. I saw him die. I felt him die."
TW: "You what?"
AM: Chloe smiles wearily. "And that brings me to why I'm here. Before I recycled Brainiac--"
ED: Oh, God. Chloe's speaking like a smartassed action movie heroine.
AoT [thoughtful]: As opposed to the smartassed spunky sidekick she was when this season started?
ED: I see your point.
AM: Quiet, you two. "Before I recycled Brainiac, I got a chance to look inside its mind. I know it was working for Zod, Clark. But I'm somewhat fuzzy on the why...only that it had something to do with that little alien invasion that happened while I was...out. And something called the Crusade."
MR: Oh, come on. Make her say she was dead.
TW: We don't really need to.
MR: Yeah, but it'd be nice if she did.
TW: Clark is taken aback by Chloe's remark. "The Kryptonian Crusade?"
AM: Chloe frowns. "What, Clark, were your people working on a plan to conquer the world all along?"
ED: From zero to paranoid in five seconds flat?
TW: "N-no, Chloe, that's not it."
AM: "You don't get it, Clark. Brainiac's plan...was to use my...my body--"
MR: For his own sick, depraved sexual urges.
ED: Ew.
MR: Afterwards, Brainiac would have served juice.
AM: Chloe gets a little passionate here. "--as genetic material in order to somehow cross-breed an entire race of...of...of freaks, Clark, of freaks! An army of them!"
ED: Okay, how did that song go again... [sings] And if you complain once more...
JG [sighs]: Quiet, Durance.
ED: ...you'll meet an army of meeeee...
[KK hits ED in the head with an eraser]
AM: Chloe points at Clark. "I need to know exactly what Zod was up to, Clark. I need to know about this Kryptonian Crusade. And if it's all right with you I'd like to know right now."
Continued...
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