7.21: Apocalypse by TW and AM (Part II)

as retold by Bill C

TW: We cut to a shot of a huge military convoy, accompanied by helicopters, moving across the empty Alaskan tundra. A huge metal pipe stretches into the distance beside them as a new title card comes up: "Outside Fairbanks."
JG: That might rank as a "duh," Tom.
TW: We're playing it safe.
AM: Cut to a shot of General Lane in combat gear in the front seat of a Humvee, near the front of the convoy.
ED: Yeah! Daddy's coming to save the day!
MR: That never sounds right when you call him that, Erica.
AM: He's speaking into a headset microphone as the episode credits roll. "ETA is two minutes...this is it, boys. Protect the civilians at all costs, and protect the pipeline if you can. Anything else...kill it."
MR: With fire?
AM: That too, I guess.
TW: The general's driver, who is wearing a name patch that says MACKENZIE, quietly speaks up as Lane takes the headset off. "Permission to speak freely, sir?"
JG: "I don't want to die, sir."
AM: Lane looks over at him. "I know what you're going to say, Mackenzie. How are we going to fight an enemy who's already dropped a nuke in our heartland?"
TW: Mackenzie actually gets some more dialogue. "That's about it, sir."
AoT: I prefer John's answer.
AM: You would, Annette.
AoT: Hush.
AM: Lane pauses to think about that for only a second. "I don't know, son." Then he pulls out his sidearm and deliberately chambers a round. "But we're sure as hell gonna try."
JG: That's appropriately badass.
AoT: You approve?
JG: I most certainly do.
TW: Thank you.
AM: Cut to a reverse shot of the front seat as Lane leans forward to see a low-flying transport plane zoom over the convoy. He says, "And...if Luthor's new toys can do a fraction of what he claims..."
TW: Cut to a three-quarters rear shot of the transport as a huge rear door opens and two groups of huge, gray metal humanoid figures fly out of it, then as the transport peels away from the convoy the figures take up positions over the leading edge of the convoy with helicopters all around them.
MR: Oh, hell yes. Team Iron Lex!
ED: If it's anything like Team Knight Rider, we're so screwed.
MR: Shut up!
AM: Back to Lane to finish his line. "...we might just have a chance."
TW: And at that point we cut to a shot of open air as a boom tube opens over the city and a new horde of parademons flies out of it. Cut to a wide shot of the convoy as it and the parademons close on each other...
AM: And then we cut to a ground-level shot of a motorcade of SUVs moving towards a huge tunnel entrance carved into the side of a mountain with heavily armed soldiers all over the place.
ED: You can't show the whole battle?
TW: It's called suspense, you know.
ED: But we don't do suspense. We do cliches.
AM: She's got us there.
TW: Let's say...we're trying to expand our boundaries a bit, okay?
ED [pouts]: Okay.
TW: Cut to a guard shack outside the tunnel as the first SUV rolls past, then the second one pulls up and stops. Two armed guards come out as the driver's window rolls down, and the driver--a man in a suit--flips out a wallet to show an ID card. "The President, Senators Chandra and Kent."
JG: There's a threesome I don't want to see.
TW: Ow, my brain.
AM: One of the guards looks at the card and nods. "Welcome to NORAD, sir. Follow the right lane once you enter the tunnel."
TW: And we go inside the SUV to see Martha, Senator Chandra, a couple of bodyguards, and the President.
JG: Already?
AoT: As it should be.
MR: Wait, who's playing the President?
AM: As it stands, we're looking at...who was that guy again, Tom?
TW: The CSI: Miami guy?
ED: Oh, God! You are not getting David Caruso to play the President!
JG: That could be good for a laugh or two, though.
TW [to ED]: Are you high? [points at MR as he opens his mouth] Rhetorical! [to ED] Not him!
JG [impersonates Caruso]: "Senator Kent...I promise you, we'll find Darkseid. And...we'll stop him."
MR [after a few seconds]: It's creepy how well you do that, John.
JG: Get me some sunglasses and I'll knock it out of the damn park.
TW: No, dammit, we are not using David Caruso.
ED: The hot Latino guy?
AoT: Delko.
ED: Yeah, Delko...hot Hispanic beefcake President...
TW: No, the other--never mind. Rex Linn. The bald guy.
ED: Him? Aw...he's so dull.
AM: But he works cheap.
TW: Okay. Martha is looking out a window and sitting on one side, while the President and Chandra are sitting on the other. Chandra is on a cell phone. "Yes, thank you, General Weiss. Keep us informed." He hangs up, leans over and says quietly in the President's ear, "Athena has engaged the alien forces at Fairbanks."
AM: The President nods. "Thank you, Michael."
TW: Chandra lowers his voice, or tries to. "I'm also told that the recruitment effort is going well."
AM: Cut to Martha as she turns towards Chandra as he says that. "Recruitment effort?"
TW: Back to Chandra, who now has that annoyed go-away look on his face. "Nothing for you to be concerned with, Martha."
MR: Now get in the kitchen and make me a pie!
[AoT stares at MR. MR fidgets nervously after a few seconds.]
AoT: Let's see...Martha manages to keep her face somewhat pleasant, but her voice gains a slight edge. "That's usually when I'm most concerned, Senator."
TW: The President holds up a hand. "Martha, I...I imagine you haven't been briefed fully on Athena yet. You see...part of its operating doctrine involves a standing rapid deployment force, separate from the other branches of the military."
AoT: "Actually, sir, I am aware of that."
AM: Chandra nods. "But I doubt you're aware of how that force will be composed. Part of it is a volunteer group, and part of it...well..."
JG: The deadliest weapons Earth has ever known: angsty teenagers.
AoT: "A draft? I would have never imagined--"
AM: "Hard times call for hard choices, Martha. For all of us. We are recruiting humans from critical areas for Athena, as well as mutants--" Chandra catches himself as Martha's stare turns down another few degrees. "Right...metahumans."
AoT: "Why them?"
AM: Chandra chuckles. "You've been the one preaching the gospel of equality for them, yes? I'm sorry, but don't tell me you actually didn't think your beloved 'meteor freaks' weren't going to be called on to carry their share of the weight."
AoT: Martha folds her arms. "I have no doubt that the metahuman population will do whatever--"
TW: The President shakes his head. "You don't understand."
AM: Chandra. "Of course they'll help. They have no choice."
AoT: Martha looks surprised. "No choice? What do you mean, they have...no..." She looks surprised as a realization hits her, and she glares at Chandra. "You're not talking about..."
AM: "Under the circumstances, yes, conscription seemed the only viable option."
MR: Another reminder that Chandra is an evil SOB? Couldn't he just kick a puppy?
ED: Tom nuked a dog. I think we're good on cruelty to animals.
TW: "Surely you realize that we must be able to use every weapon at our disposal, Martha."
AoT: Martha looks shocked. "They're people, Mr. President. Not weapons."

TW: The President--
ED: Wait, what's his name?
TW: The President?
ED: Yeah.
TW: Uh...the President?
AM: I told you we needed a name for him.
TW: He's just in a couple of scenes. We'll name him in the next episode. Anyway, he looks at Martha. "Don't be naive, Senator. They may be some of the most powerful weapons on the planet, and the very fate of this planet may well be in our hands. Michael is right--we had no choice."
AoT: Martha gets frosty. "There's always a choice, sir."
TW: The President frowns. "In this case, Senator, you're wrong. Ultimately it comes down to this...this Darkseid's armies versus us. And if the choice is between them and us--there is no choice."
AM: Chandra barely manages to hide his smugness. "And for better or worse there isn't one for the mutants either."
JG: Okay, he really needs to be taken down a notch. Nobody talks to Lionel's woman like that.
AoT: Thank you for defending Martha's honor, John. "Let me out of here, please."
AM: "What?"
AoT: Martha pounds on a partition for the driver's compartment with her fist. "Stop this vehicle and let me out now! Now!"
TW: Cut to a side shot of the SUV as it pulls to a stop near a small elevated platform. Then a rear shot as Martha gets out on one side and walks off past the camera's POV, and pan over to the other side as the President and Chandra get out and turn to watch her walk away, and we go to a commercial break.
ED: Remember to put a little twitch in your hips for that scene, Annette.
AoT: I don't want to kill the man, Erica.
JG: Go ahead and kill him. He's taking up valuable airtime that could be given to Delko.
ED [after a few seconds]: Wouldn't it be easier to just kill David Caruso? [eagerly, to TW] Can we nuke Miami next?
TW: No.
ED [annoyed]: Dammit.

Continued...