7.21 Apocalypse by TW and AM (Part XIV)

as retold by Bill C

AM: Okay, so Lois and Bittleman are having this brief little staredown over Kal-El.
KK: This should be Lex and Lana.
MR: Been there, done that. And Lana's dead.
JG: So if nothing else Lex won the battle for Clark.
AoT: Because Lana is dead?
JG: Yeah. Chloe flipped out, Lana's dead, and Lois is a nonentity.
ED: Hey! Lois was busy with Oliver and Bittleman!
AM: Until her crush on Kal-El fucked it up.
ED: You--
AM: But that's not important right now.
KK: We fought the Clex and the Clex won.
MR: Bow down before the HoYay you serve!
TW: You're going to get what you deserve.
MR: I thought you already decided we deserved Armageddon?
TW: Yes, but that's not what I'm talking about now.
MR: What are you going to do now, blow up the planet?
TW: Dawn suggested that, but no. You'll see.
KK: Oh, Christ, you're scaring me again.
AM: Can I go on, please? So we're doing quick back-and-forth cuts to Lois and Bittleman staring at each other, and we hear Lois's phone ring twice.
TW: On the cut to Bittleman, he briefly looks down off-camera. "Aren't you going to get that?"
ED: Okay, and cut to Lois pulling out her phone and checking the number. "Not now, Clark!"
KK: Usual perfect timing.
AM: Closeup on the phone as Lois shuts it off.
TW: And then we jump cut to a closeup of Clark as he's taking his phone away from his ear. He stares at it for a second as some quietly dramatic music kicks in and mutters, "Voicemail..."
AM: Quick cut to a wide shot to show that Clark is standing in the doorway of an aircraft hangar, apparently at a small airfield.
ED: What, he's decided to flee to Canada?
AM [laughs]: Funny, but no.
TW: Back to the closeup as Clark dials another number.
AM: And cut to the Fortress of Sullivan--
JG: Chloe-cave.
AM: Screw you. Slow pan across the place, showing that most of the Chlones are gone but a couple are unconscious and sprawled here and there amongst the destroyed equipment and furniture, as we hear Chloe's cellphone ringing. And finally the camera pans over to Chloe herself, who is sitting in the ruins of her old desk. She's thoroughly messed up and looks pretty much like a zombie, just staring off into the distance while the phone continues ringing.
KK: This whole "everything touched by Clark turns to shit" policy...wow.
AoT: Martha has so far escaped unscathed, though.
JG: Jonathan's been dead for two years.
AoT [sighs]: Dammit, John, you couldn't let me have this delusion for just one minute?
JG: I'm sorry, Annette.
ED: So, is Zombie Chloe going to eat a Chlone's brain?
TW: No.
AM: Though we'd probably get a nice ratings bump out of it.
TW [thinks]: ...nah. Back to Clark as we hear Chloe's phone ringing through his phone, and he sighs and hangs up.
MR: All of Clark's women have abandoned him. And all that's left...is Lex.
KK: Okay, we all fought the Clex and the Clex won.
AM: And we cut to a panning shot of a limousine moving down a busy street. Cut from that to the interior of the limousine, where Lex and Martha and Hope are sitting.
ED: Going to an end-of-the-world party?
AM [ignores ED]: Nobody says anything for a few seconds as we cut from Martha to Lex, and then the phone in the limo rings. Cut to Hope answering it. "Yes?" She then holds the handset out towards Lex. "It's your father, Lex."
JG: That's Lionel, bitch.
ED: Mr. Luthor if you're nasty.
MR: All right...Lex takes the handset. "Yes?"
AM: And cut to Lionel's office--
JG: I've got this. Lionel on his phone. "Lex? Why did you authorize a priority takeoff for the jet?"
MR: "Dad, it couldn't wait."
KK: Clark needs his Lexy!
JG: "What couldn't?"
MR: "I'm..." Lex considers his words for a moment. "I'm in the middle of something that may help prevent the invasion of Earth."
JG: "I imagine this has something to do with the failed Saturn probe launch, then."
MR: Lex pauses for a moment. "You...of course you'd know about that."
JG: Once again Lionel lies his ass off. "I was wondering why you felt it necessary to directly supervise an automated launch, son."
MR: "We were trying to get something into orbit that would have stopped Darkseid's forces from attacking."
JG: Lionel looks briefly remorseful. "Yes...but then someone sabotaged the launch."
MR: Okay, come on, shouldn't Lex be suspicious of Lionel right about now?
AoT: Lionel costing his own company hundreds of millions of dollars just to screw him over? What sane person would believe that?
ED: But is Lex sane?
KK: Hell no. He screwed a Lanabot.
AM: And cloned Chloe to make a private army.
TW: He's sane for the purposes of this episode, people.
MR: He can't be that sane. He's been sucked into the crazy logic.
TW: He's pretty sane right now.
MR: Uh huh. Lex: "Dad, I...I've managed to locate Kal-El."
AM: Quick cut to Martha as she looks at Lex.
JG: Back to Lionel as he leans back in his chair, nodding in that all-according-to-plan way. "I see."
MR: "I'm on my way to meet with him now, and I'm going to convince him to reveal himself publicly. This should satisfy our new alien overlords."
ED: Shouldn't we be welcoming them?
AoT [after a few seconds]: Shut up and drink your juice, Erica.
ED: What'd I s--
AoT: Just shut up.
JG: "Lex, are you sure you can get Kal-El to give himself up?"
MR: A long-suffering sigh from Lex. "Yes, Dad, I'm sure. No doubt you'll hear all about it while I'm on the way back."
JG: "Yes, I suppose I will. Good luck, son."
MR: Lex hangs up the phone, then turns to Hope. "The video equipment is prepared?"
AM: Hope nods. "It's already on the jet. When we get to the...what was it called again?"
AoT: Martha speaks in a quiet voice. "Clark calls it the Fortress."
AM: "Thank you, Mrs. Kent. We'll be all set once we get to the Fortress, Lex."
MR: Lex nods. "Good."
TW: Cut to Clark at the hangar as we hear an approaching vehicle, then as he turns around the camera zooms out to show the limousine pulling up outside the hangar. Lex and company get out after it stops.
MR: Lex walks up to Clark and hands him a small gadget. "This is a GPS tracker. We'll home in on you once you reach your...fortress."
ED: Wait a minute. Why can't they just beam there with the thing in the cave?
TW: We're getting to that. So Clark nods. "It's safer this way."
AM: Hope pipes up. "You said that there was a means of instantaneous transport to this place?"
TW: "That's right. It's in the Kawatche Caves, outside of Small--" Sad voice. "Smallville."
MR: "While the nuke that Steppenwolf dropped on it was fairly clean, there's still enough radiation in the area that it's not safe for anybody yet." Lex takes a moment to stare at Clark. "Except for you, I suppose."
ED: That's some ugly exposition.
KK: And if you didn't mention the caves, it's not like anybody else would remember it. Come on, Tom.
ED: Yeah, nobody watches this show for continuity.
JG: You mean logic. We've trained them better than that.
TW: We're not changing it, okay?
KK: Fine, fine.

TW: Reverse shot of Lex looking at Clark, then the camera pans over as Clark moves a couple of steps to look at Martha. "I'll see you in a few hours, Mom." Then we go to an overhead shot as Clark takes off into the sky and flies past the camera, and everybody else is looking up after him in surprise.
AM: And we fade from that to the usual stock shot of the FoS, and then cut to an interior shot of Lex and Martha and Hope walking into it clad in heavy winter gear. Hope is carrying a large backpack and a carrying case. Lex and Hope are slowly walking and looking around in astonishment, while Martha simply walks out of the shot.
AoT: Been there, done that.
AM: Hope gets an obligatory "Wow..." here.
MR: And Lex cuts her off. "Hope? The camera."
AM: "Uh...yes, sir." Hope sets down her case and opens it, pulling out a large video camera and a tripod.
TW: Cut to a very slow zoom on Clark standing at the crystal control panel with Martha by his side. Clark looks--
KK: Like he's two seconds away from bawling his eyes out?
AM: Yes, but in a determined way.
AoT: Martha puts a hand on Clark's shoulder. "Honey, are you absolutely sure about this?"
TW: Clark looks at her. "It's the only way left that doesn't involve anyone else being hurt, Mom. There's no other choice."
ED: Technically right, but still dumb as hell.
MR: Lex walks into the shot. "I'm still not sure I believe that, Clark...or should I say, Kal-El..."
AoT: Martha gives Lex a firm look. "Clark."
MR: Lex pauses. "But I'm willing to give this a chance."
ED: And love blossoms anew!
TW: Clark nods as the zoom ends on a three-shot. "What I said before still goes, Lex. If this works, you can say whatever you like about Kal-El. Say you captured him and managed to imprison him using his own technology against him, it doesn't matter."
MR: Lex laughs. It's a short, grim laugh. "I always knew you had a little martyr in you, Clark. But I had no idea it was actually justified."
KK: Oh, damn, Tom. That's messed up.
TW: It seemed to fit. Clark smiles ruefully after that. "Is she ready?"
AM: Cut to Hope with the now-assembled tripod and camera mounted on it. She looks off-camera-right and gives a thumbs-up. "We're all set, Lex."
TW: Back to Clark as he nods, and the camera pans down to show his hand as it moves towards a particular crystal sticking further out of the control panel than the others. The hand hesitates over it, then slowly pushes it into the cluster; the crystal glows a deep red.
AM: Wide three-quarter shot of the FoS as the light filling the entire chamber seems to dim, then a low bass hum starts up. A few feet in front of the control panel, over an elevated ice platform, a small silvery flash of light begins pulsing slowly and then faster, the pulses lighting up the place.
TW: Quick cuts to reaction shots of Lex and Hope--Lex looks surprised but serious, while Hope looks completely stunned. Then a reaction shot of Martha, who is holding on tightly to Clark's hand, and pan over to Clark looking relatively stoic or faking it well.
AM: Then back to the silvery light, which is beginning to rotate and form a flat plane while pulsing. Then there's a blinding burst of white light, and when it fades the silvery light has been replaced by the familiar slowly-rotating glass pane with silver streaks running through it.
TW: Another quick cut to Clark and Martha as the light from the pane washes over them.
ED: Krypton dance party!
MR: Cut back to Lex as he calls out in Hope's direction. "Now!"
AM: Back to Hope as she bends down behind the camera, and a red light appears on top of it.
AoT: Close shot of Martha as she grabs Clark and hugs him as hard as she can. Her voice is muffled by the flannel. "I love you, Clark."
TW: Closeup on Clark's face. "I love you, Mom." Back to the previous shot as he pulls away from Martha, then sets a look of grim determination on his face and walks away from her and out of the shot.
KK: And at long last, Clark Kent becomes a man.
JG: A damn crazy man, but a man.
TW: Tracking shot as Clark walks back into the shot, now at ground level, and pan around him into an over-the-shoulder shot of him as he moves closer to the portal. When the pan stops he looks off-camera-right. "Lex?"
MR: Cut to Lex looking back at him.
TW: Back to Clark. "For what it's worth...if I hurt you, I'm sorry."
ED [laughs]: One last bit of HoYay for the road!
AM: To keep Clark warm on those lonely nights in the Phantom Zone.
MR: Back to Lex as he silently nods.
TW: And back to Clark as he turns back towards the portal--and then a bluish light appears in its center, then slowly spreads out in a similar fashion to cracks in a glass window.
AM: At the same time, the sad dramatic "heroic sacrifice" music cuts out. After a couple of seconds, it's replaced by urgent "Oh, shit!" music.
TW: Reaction shot of Clark looking at the portal, and then back to it as it vanishes in a bright burst of blue light.
AM: Yep, another reaction shot--this time of Clark and Lex and Martha all turning away to shield their eyes and then turning back.
TW: And when the light fades, the PZ "pane" is gone. In its place is a large circular blue portal with faint lightning crackling around its edges--a boom tube.
ED: Okay, hold it. How did Darkseid find out about this?
TW: He didn't. There's a familiar flash in the center of the portal, and we cut to a reverse ground-level shot from behind the portal as a pair of expensively-shoed feet land on the ground in front of it.
ED: Zod returns? That Steppenwolf guy? [hopeful] Clive Owen?!?
JG: Expensively... [huge grin] Oh...
TW: The feet walk towards Clark and then stop at the edge of the ice platform.
AM: Even more reaction shots of, in order...
AoT: Martha's mouth dropping open in shock.
MR: Lex narrowing his eyes in surprise.
AM: Hope straightens up from behind the camera, muttering quietly "What in the hell...?"
TW: And finally that ground-level shot of Clark again as he just looks at the person. The camera pans up and around into a frontal shot of the newcomer--Lionel.
JG [shouts]: YES!
KK: You could see this coming, though.
TW: Lionel looks calm and collected, as usual. And he simply says--
JG: "I'm sorry, Clark. I'm afraid I had to...intervene."
TW: The music hits a crescendo, and we go to a hell of a commercial break.

Continued...