7.22 Eclipse by MR & TW (Part II)

MR: When we come back queue up the "two hours earlier" cue card.
AM: Great, another flashback episode. Are you two completely bankrupt for ideas?
TW: What's wrong with flashback episodes?
AM: Other pretty much giving away the ending at the beginning?
TW: We're not giving away the ending!
ED: Nuking the entire planet isn't the end? Even I'm not buying that.
MR: Well, it's not the whole ending.
AM: Whole or not. There can't be much suspense until we catch up with the teaser, can there?
MR: Does there need to be?
AM: Of course! How can people enjoy this show if they know how it's going to end from the beginning!?!?!
TW: Remind me again what the premise of our entire series?
AM: Shut up!
MR: And since when has this show been enjoyable?
AM: Oh, just shut up, the both of you, OK?
TW: We open act one with a close up of Darkseid's ugly lackey.
MR: "The incompetence of your people tries our patience, earthman."
TW: He's in Lionel's office. Lionel gazes out his window at the many war ships dotting the skies of Metropolis. "You will have Kal-El soon enough."
MR: "The timeliness of the hand over will be determined by the mighty Darkseid alone. Pray to your gods that Darkseid's patience runs deeper than mine."
TW: Lionel suppresses a chuckle and hesitates for a moment, as if for a brief moment his conscience bothers him.
JG: Yeah, right.
MR: "Speaking of the hand-off. May I recommend..."
TW: Cut directly to the DP news room. Lois is on the phone with her dad..
AM & MR: The general
TW: Erica?
ED: "... a change of plan? You can't let them do this!"
MR: Bittleman breezes in, "Do what, Rapunzel? The Prez say something bad about your alien frog prince again?"
TW: Ignoring Bittleman, "I don't care how dangerous you think it is. I'm not leaving..."

MR: Cut directly to... me. In my limo on the phone. I'm shocked, concerned, whatever...
KK: Figure it out on the set?
MR: Right. But when we rent the limo I want it to have a wet bar.
AoT: You want Lex drinking?
TW: Not a bad choice considering what he's about to do.
MR: No, I want to be drinking.
AM: Me too.
MR: Get your own limo, Mack. "...Metropolis?" after a pause, "Understood, Mr. President." There's another pause, "Of course it complicates things. But we haven't lost yet." Lex hangs up his phone and contemplates for a moment. Then to the driver, "One more stop before the airport."

TW: Chloe cave. Chlone's work at fixing things up after Chloe's little freak out earlier.
MR: The place still looks like hell. Lex enters the frame and glances around, "I like what you've done to the place."
TW: Chloe isn't very happy to see him. Allison?
AM: "What do you want, Lex?"
MR: "I need your help."
KK: Lex needs Chloe's help? Never thought I'd see that.
AM: Chloe chuckles, "My help? I wouldn't raise a finger to cool your lips if you were burning in the pits of Tartarus."
TW Lex tries to touch Chloe's elbow but she pulls away.
MR: "Chloe, I know about Clark."
AM: She doesn't seem surprised, "You were bound to figure it out sooner or later. That doesn't change things between us."
MR: Lex gets serious, "Don't pretend you don't know what's a stake here."
AM: "I won't hurt him, Lex."
MR: "I'm not asking you to help me hurt Clark." He exhales and makes those big puppy dog eyes no woman...
JG: Or mysterious visitor from another planet...
MR: ...can resist. "I'm asking you to help me save the world."
ED: And if Clark gets hurt in the process?
JH: Eh, small price to pay.
ED: So says the god of bastards.
JG & KK: So say we all.

TW: Cut to our good old TV reporter Evelyn leaning against the side of her news van.
MR: As the camera pulls back we see a crowd gathered by a military blockade.
TW: Lois and Bittleman are headed for the barricade with Bittleman going on and on about how Lois' refusal to evacuate is going to get him killed. Evelyn calls out to them. Kristen?
KK: Lana's dead. I don't have to read anymore.
TW: Allison?
AM: "Don't bother. They're not letting press through."
MR: Bittleman, "Ah, yes! See, Lois?" He turns and grabs her elbow, "We really should get going... like all the sane people."
ED: Lois wiggles free of Bittleman's grasp. To Evelyn, "Maybe they're not letting you through." Lois turns back toward the blockade.
AM: Evelyn chuckles, "Good luck."
ED: Lois stops and turns back around as if to yell at Bittleman but he's disappeared so instead she vents to Evelyn. "How could they do this? The people have a right to know!" What? Lois gives up just like that?
KK: What show have you been watching the show these past four years?
MR: Tom cut the part where Lois fails miserably at getting through the blockade.
KK: Better a quitter than a loser.
ED: Gee, thanks, Tom.
TW: The script was running a little long.
AM: "Preaching to the choir, girlfriend. Government cameras only. Everybody's running with the C-span feed."
ED: Lois frowns, "Screw C-span!" Lois glances at camera mounted on a cherry picker atop the van.
AM: Seeing where Lois is going, "Tried it. The extend-a cam doesn't go high enough for decent footage. And forget a helicopters, the alien warships will shoot them down.
ED: Lois thinks a moment.
KK: I hope she doesn't sprain her brain.
AoT: Actually I think it's about now something amazingly lucky usually falls right into her lap.
TW: Which makes it all the more surprising Lois does a double when she sees Bittleman emerge from the news van holding the station's handy cam, his finger to his lips.
MR: When Lois narrows her eyes he gestures wildly for her to distract Evelyn and then points to himself, then to Lois, then to the top of DP building.
AoT: Bittleman is stealing the station camera? For Lois? And the station is going to broadcast it? How does that make any sense?
MR: Yeah, well, it's the finale. Things don't have to make sense.
KK: As if our regular season episodes make sense?
AM: "Is something wrong Lois?" Evelyn glances toward the van.
ED: "Oh, no! It's just that... this whole military thing. And the Kal-El triangle. Er.. Bermuda triangle. It's really got me down, you know?" What the hell does that mean?
AM: That's pretty much what Evelyn asks.
KK: It's pretty much what every single viewer is going to be asking.
MR: That's the point. While Lois is distracting, no make that confusing the hell out of Evelyn and maybe even herself we see Bittleman flee the scene, handy cam under his arm.
ED: "Actually everything is fine. Really. I've got to go. Go work on a story. On Kal-El. And the Bermuda triangle. Bye!"
MR: As Lois dashes off we focus on Evelyn as she gives the camera a "there goes a crazy woman" look.
ED: Crazy like a fox!

TW: FOS. Clark is at the console moving crystals around...
MR: Insert your favorite ambiguous autoerotic subtext into the exposition here.
AoT: Since when have we settled for ambiguous?
TW: Annette...
AoT: Yeah, can we actually call a spade a spade for once and use the words "crystal dildo"?
TW: No!
AoT: Spoil sport.
MR: Unfortunately for the audience before Clark gets to pleasuring himself Chloe and Lex show up.
AoT: He can at least get his shirt off, right?
TW: Annette...
AoT: Just asking.

Continued...