Bounty by KK & AoT Part IX

as retold by RepairmanBob (with help from Bill C, jwm, PhantonChic, and Maniac64)

AoT: Lobo pushes Clark. "I'm the Main Man! I do whatever the frag I want! You got a problem with that, Kal?"
KK: Clark cries like a little bitch! [Breaks down laughing]
ED: Enough, Kristin.
KK: Excuse me? I still have the alternate script ready, Durance!
JG: As much I enjoy seeing Clark soiled, I have to agree. I would really like to do to my scenes this evening.
KK: [Scowls] I can still re-write –
AoT: Enough, dear. You beat Tom, now be gracious.
KK: Fine, fine. Clark looks pissed, then gets a sly smile. "You want a fight? You want a real fight? None of this crap tossing humans and killing defenseless people, but a good, tough fight?"
AoT: "You ready to go?"
ED: OK, even I thought that line was too blatant.
KK: "Not me, you moron! Darkseid is coming here, and you –"
AoT: Lobo steps back, raises hands and looks shocked. "Whoa, whoa whoa! Darkseid? Darkseid is coming here?"
KK: "I thought he sent you to kill me!"
AoT: Lobo laughs. "Kal, I don't know who hired me! But if Darkseid is coming, I know it's time to find a new place to party!" [Whistles, motorcycle pulls up.]
KK: "I thought you were the baddest bastich in known space!"
ED: Wait, Clark calls someone a coward?
JG: That doesn't sound right.
AoT: Lobo gets on his bike. "Yeah, and I can't stay that way if I'm dead. Kal, you seem like a cool dude, so listen to your Uncle Lobo for a minute. You don't want to be around when the Big D comes to town. That guy is bad news. ‘Kill everyone and their dog' type bad news." Lobo takes off. "If you ever get off this sorry rock, look me up! I know a bar on Xenex 7 where the girls do things that are illegal in fourteen systems!"
KK: Clark looks down at the little boy, who is in shock. "I... I –" [gets choked up, and starts laughing again]
MR: [Rolls his eyes]
JG: OK, that was a little funny,
AoT: Close up of Clark's ear. He hears Lois and Vic arguing. Lois shouts "Next time you're the stewardess!" Cut to Question and Lois dressed as a pilot and a stewardess walking along the streets of Gotham.
KK: [Still giggling] "I've been told I do not look good in a skirt."
AoT: "I don't want to know."
KK: "The gunshots seemed to come from this direction."
AoT: "I seriously doubt aliens capable of destroying city blocks with brute force are suddenly going down grade to hand guns."
MR: Lois is slacking off. What a shock.
ED: Quiet, you! It's almost my big scene!
KK: "Investigation is warranted, none the less."

AoT: Cut back to Clark in the alley.
KK: "I'm sorry. There's a lady coming. She'll help you." Clark super speeds away just as Lois and Question turn the corner.
JG: Wow, Clark runs away almost as much as Lex this week.
MR: Big talk for a guy who's sat on his ass all episode.
KK: "Well if your investigation de-rails our search for..." Lois spots the boy kneeling between his parents bodies.
AoT: "Oh my god!" Lois rushes to the boy. Question spots a piece of Lobo's suit ripped off when Kal stopped him.
KK: "They were here." The boy is in shock. He's almost emotionless.
MR: Sounds like Lana.
AoT: John, could you read this?
JG: Very well. [Little boy voice.] "He shot my parents."
AoT: Lois kneels and hugs Bruce
MR: What?
KK: It's just a temporary name in the script. We'll change it before we get to filming.
[MR glares at KK, then stands up and walks behind AoT]
AoT: What do you think you are doing?
MR: Have you ever seen American Psycho?
AoT: No.
AoT: Good. If Christian Bale comes in, you can talk to him.
AoT: Whatever. "Oh, baby, I'm so sorry."
KK: Question studies the fragment of clothing. "Something is not right. Things... are spiralling out of control. Lionel is desperate."
JG: [Raises an eyebrow]
KK: He's thinks Lionel is secretly controlling the entire world.
JG: [Shrugs] I can live with that. "He tried to shoot me. But the other man stopped him."
AoT: "You don't have to talk about it."
KK: "Lionel is never desperate."
JG: That's better. The boy puts out his hand. He holds a misshapen bullet. "He caught the bullet in his hand."
KK: "What could Lionel be afraid of?"
JG: World peace.
ED: A lack of hair care products.
AoT: Martha cutting him off. Lois picks up the bullet and stares at it. "Kal-El."
JG: "He saved me."
AoT: Lois looks at the boy. "That's right. His name is Kal-El. He saved your life. He's... he's a hero."
JG: Not likely. The boy looks at his parents. "He didn't save my parents."
AoT: Lois hugs him again. "I'm sure he did the best he could. That's what heroes always do."
JG: "I... I want to be a hero."
MR: [Frowns] Are you sure he's not Bruce Wayne?
KK: Positive.
AoT: Lois holds the boy's shoulders to looks him in the eye. She's trying not to cry. "I'm sure you'll be a great hero someday."
ED: I don't know, this sounds a lot like Bruce Wayne.
KK: It's not. Question looks at the dead father. "Lois, do you realize who these people are?"
ED: Everyone with half a brain realizes who they are.
AoT: "Not now, Vic." You either, Erica.
KK: "They're like the Luthors of Gotham!"
JG: "He knew you were coming."
KK: "They killed the first freaking family of Gotham!"
JG: You know, I am actually glad Tom left. His whining about this would have been insufferable.
AoT: Lois glares at Question. "Shut the hell up!"
JG: Funny, people usually say that to Lois.
ED: Hey!
JG: "He said you would help me."
AoT: "And I will. I'll stay here with you as long as you need."
KK: "We can't stay here! Kal-El is still out there doing who the hell knows what!"
AoT: "Kal-El saved this boy's life!"
KK: "Just another convenient trick to throw us off his trail."
AoT: "Kal-El isn't what's important now."
JG: When is he ever?
MR: When Lex is outsmarting him?
ED: No, when he is working with Lois!
AoT: Usually when we need to justify out salaries to Dawn.
KK: "The truth is always important! You used to believe that!"
AoT: "I still do, Vic. And the truth is this where I'm needed right now. I'm not going to leave this boy alone." Lois turns back to the boy. My name is Lois, Lois Lane. What's yours?"
JG: The enormity of the situation finally hits the boys tears up. "Bruce."
MR: Kristin, you lying bitch!
KK: Excuse me?
MR: You said it was not Bruce Wayne!
KK: [Shrugs] So I lied.
AoT: Prove it's Bruce Wayne and not Bruce Smith.
MR: No! No, you two do not get to ruin Batman! It's not right!
KK: It's my episode! I can do whatever the fuck I want!
MR: [Runs for the door] When Christian Bale comes in here with a chainsaw asking who fucked up Batman, you're on your own!
JG: I did not realize Michael was such a Batman fanboy.
ED: Lex and Bruce sitting in a tree...
AoT: Lois hugs the boy again. He starts crying. "I'm here, Bruce. I'm here." Pull back to show Clark has listened in on the entire scene and seems to be crying.
JG: What is with all the crying this week?
KK: Clark crying means more time in the make-up chair for Tom.

Continued...