Bounty by KK & AoT Part X

as retold by RepairmanBob (with help from Bill C, jwm, PhantonChic, and Maniac64)

AoT: Martha drives into the farm. Just as she gets of the car, Clark lands. "Clark? What are you –"
KK: "Mom, I need help." Close up of Clark. His eyes glow red. Cut to Martha helping Clark walk inside the kitchen. He sits at the table. "- I stole things, and I hurt people, Mom. I am out of control." Clark starts to cry.
JG: Again.
ED: Damn, Promise is starting to look good.
JG: You actually watched it?
ED: Well, no, but it could not have been this bad.
AoT: "Clark, listen to me. You have been given a dose of red meteor rock."
KK: When that bitch Chloe drugged you.
JG: Or from the cock-ring Lobo gave you.
KK: "But that just –"
AoT: "Yes, it brings out some of your baser instincts." Martha walks behind Clark and opens a drawer. "You are stronger than that, Clark. You could have hurt that boy. You could have continued to steal and drink and destroy and no force on earth could stop you."
ED: Oh my God, you did a yellow crayon speech.
JG: I have no idea how you are going to say that with a straight face.
AoT: Martha is a woman of many skills. She places her hand on Clark's. "You are my son. I love you."
ED: Come, on Annette!
AoT: This is not a yellow crayon speech!
JG: [Looks through script] Annette, she has a point.
AoT: John, I am surprised at you!
JG: On the next page, you tell a story about how Clark broke a crayon and cried about it!
AoT: I do no such thing! [Looks through script] I will have you... [looks confused] How did that get there?
ED: You did not even change the color of the crayon! [Imitates Martha's voice] "Do you remember when you broke the yellow crayon your first day of school. Clark?"
AoT: I am serious! I have no idea how that line got into the final script!
ED & AoT & JG: [Look at KK]
KK: What? It is a good line!
AoT: Kristin, I thought I made myself very clear! I do not care what you do to the other characters, but Martha –
JG: [Clears throat]
AoT: Martha and Lionel are off limits!
JG: Thank you.
KK: But –
AoT: I am not doing a yellow crayon speech! If you are so anxious to use material from that hack Whedon, young lady, then you can start getting fitted for your prosthetic fangs!
KK: Fine, fine. Clark looks like he is about to cry. Yet again.
JG: For a super-powered badass on a RedK trip, Clark sure does cry like a little girl.
AoT: Martha raises her other hand, which is holding a lead box. She opens it, revealing a large piece of GreenK.
ED: Wow, Clark is pretty dumb.
KK: Clark looks shocked, then angry.
AoT: "But I cannot take any chances." She hand-cuffs Clark to the table.
KK: "You lying –"
AoT: "I love you, Clark. I love you enough to stop you from doing something you will regret later." Martha sits across the table from Clark. "I love you enough to do what is necessary to protect you from yourself, and to stay with you when you are in pain." Clark sags down. Martha looks sad but stoic.

KK: I say we just cut this next scene. If Michael is going to run out of the episode reading, I say fuck him.
AoT: As much as I admire your "burn all bridges" approach to workplace interaction, we need this scene to set up the following one with Lionel.
KK: Spoilsport. We are in the study at the Luthor mansion. Lex is shaking hands with a man in a neatly pressed suit.
KK: "I'm glad you could make it."
JG: I bet Lex says that to all the male prostitutes he hires since Clark dumped him.
AoT: "I had to come."
ED: Wow, you are good.
JG: You have no idea.
AoT: "Once the national news picked up on that Lobo fellow-"
KK: The camera shifts to a wide shot as Lex sits down in a chair, and the man follows suit "Yes, well... Metropolis attracts all kinds, doesn't it, Senator?"
AoT: The Senator shakes his head. "First mutants, then aliens. Your father had no idea what he was getting into when he moved you here, did he?"
JG: I am quite certain Lionel thought it would toughen Lex up a bit.
KK: He was sadly mistaken. "No...but I have my eyes wide open. And this Lobo situation only reiterates what I have been saying ever since the incursion--"
AoT: "Right, that we need to ramp up weapons development in order to defend the country--"
KK: Lex picks up a glass from a table. "Planet, Senator. The United States just happens to be the front line for whatever else might be coming our way."
AoT: "Which is why I'm here, Lex. I'm here at the direct request of the President."
KK: "I see."
AoT: "After the incursion in Metropolis months ago--"
ED: Hold on – when did the invasion take place, anyway?
[AoT, KK and JG exchange confused looks.]
KK: Tom and Allison usually keep track of that kind of thing.
ED: [Takes out a pen and paper.] Chloe had a funeral between Exit and Control... [takes some notes] How long did Lex have Chloe in Vault Black?
AoT: Why do you think we would know?
JG: Or care?
KK: Like another continuity error is really going to matter that much? Compared to some of the crap Al and Miles pulled last year, this is nothing.
AoT: I could not agree more. "After the incursion in Metropolis months ago and then the attack at the Slab, and now this single humanoid alien apparently caused over eighty million dollars in damages--"
KK: "Lobo wasn't acting alone, Senator. He had help."
JG: In bed.
ED: Does that even make sense?
JG: Everything I say makes sense!
KK: In bed.
JG: See?
ED: What is this, fortune cookie script reading?
AoT: I love fortune cookies!
KK& JG: In bed!
ED: Huh?
AoT: The Senator grabs a drink from the same table, downs it in one gulp. "You mean that 'Cal'? Nobody could identify him--he might well have been some non-powered thug that Lobo brought with him. But anyway...after everything that's happened, the President has made a decision."
JG: Nuke Smallville, if he has any sense.
KK: Or at least burn Clark's jacket. Lex leans back in chair slightly. "Go on."
AoT: "This has been coming since the incursion, though. Hell, since Dark Thursday. With the approval of the Joint Chiefs and the heads of certain international agencies, a special committee will be formed for the express purpose of investigating and defending the U.S. and its allies from...extraplanetary...threats."
KK: Hope walks into the study as the Senator says this last part. Cut to Lex holding up a hand at her. "A...Department of Homeworld Security, you could say?"
ED: Now you are ripping off Stargate: SG-1!
KK: I am not ripping it off!
ED: Kristin, I was on SG1! You are totally ripping it off!
JG: [To AoT] What are they talking about?
AoT: [to JG] No idea. Kristin said the name sounded good, and since it did not involve Martha, what did I care?
ED: You can't just rip off every sci-fi show you like!
KK: This is a tribute! It is totally different from stealing an idea!
ED: How is it different?
KK: It... it just... shut up!

Continued...