Bounty by KK & AoT Part V

as retold by jwm (with help from RepairmanBob, Bill C, PhantonChic, and Maniac64)

KK: Cut to a an unconscious guard slumped up against the wall tied and gagged in a dark office. Vic Sage is cracking a safe nearby when his phone rings, "Lane."
AoT: We'll be cutting between Lois's DP office and Vic as appropriate. "Vic. We need to meet. Now."
KK: "No can do."
AoT: "But..."
KK: "I'm on the verge of unlocking one of the most tightly held military secrets of all time. This is the culmination of years of...:
AoT: "Military? My father..."
KK: "...the general. I know."
MR: Who doesn't?
KK: "For your sake I pray he is not involved."
AoT: "For my sake...?"
KK: "What have you found?"
AoT: "Someone or something is cutting a swath of destruction through the streets of Metropolis wide enough to swallow even your conspiracy theories."
KK: "You don't take my work seriously. A shame. Once you were a proponent of truth. Tell me, how is your cousin?"
AoT: Lois ignores Q's barb.
ED: What barb?
AoT: "The reports say it's just two guys. But the damage they're leaving behind is way more than what a couple garden variety mutants on a drunken bender are capable of."
KK : Vic turns his attention away from the safe. Concerned, "Then it's begun."
AoT: "What? What's begun?"
JG: For once I'm a clueless as Lois.
ED: Hey!
JG: What's begun?
KK: "Lionel. He's set the ball in motion."
JG: Sweet!
MR: Vic is an idiot. Lex is behind it!
AoT: "You think Lionel is behind this?"
KK: "Of course, isn't it obvious?"
AoT: "Um? No?"
AM: And for once I'm identifying with Lois.
ED: Really?
AM: It's not a good feeling.
ED: Hmmf!
KK: "But it's much too soon. Why now?"
AoT: "What the hell are you talking about?!?!"
KK: "Meet me outside your office in an hour."
AoT: "In an hour?!?! By then...."
KK: "Goodbye." Vic hangs up. "First, let's see what you've been hiding so desperately all these years, Colonel."
AoT: Vic opens the safe. He pulls out a paper and studies it.
KK: "Ingenious. And diabolical. Still..." He puts the paper back into the safe, "...perhaps for now the truth best remains hidden."
AoT: Cut to a view from inside the safe.
KK: The paper is labeled "The Colonel's secret recipe."
AoT: The screen goes black as the safe door shuts.
ED: Vic blew off Lois for a fried chicken recipe?
MR: Well, yeah. I know I would.
ED: Come on. Fried chicken?
MR: KFC has some tasty chicken!
AM: I'm with Michael.
ED: You are?
AM: It's not exactly pork rinds but then again... it's Lois.
ED: You all suck!

KK: Lionel's office. A large spherical object has been connected and two tall poles akin to a pair of mad-scientist type lightning rods; pan up to see that Otis is working on a nearby control console, while Lionel stands behind him and slightly out of focus.
AoT: Otis, "No idea if it will work, Mr. Luthor, but it's connected as per instructions."
KK: "All right. Power it up."
AoT: Otis flips some switches on the console. The sphere glows faintly, a loud humming starts up, and between the poles a circular bluish aura appears accompanied by crackling noises. After a few seconds, the aura pulses twice and then emits a blinding blue flash of light.
KK: Martian Manhunter appears to fall through the flash and lands on the floor as the light fades and the noise dies off. He's beaten and bloodied.
AoT: Otis helps him to his feet.
KK: "Are you all right?" Michael, will you read for the martian.
MR: "I am. Thank you for your assistance. I wasn't sure you would get my message... Have you told Kal-El--"
KK: "Not yet, J'onn. I... wanted to be sure of the risks before worrying him needlessly."
MR: "I assure you the risks are very real."
KK: Lionel pauses, "What exactly can you tell me about this place you call...Apokolips? And this man named Darkseid?"
MR: "Only that Darkseid cannot be called a man and Apokolips is as close to hell as one can get while still living... if one calls life on Apokolips living."
KK: Lionel points at some of the equipment bearing the symbol of the Apokoliptian army. "We've had dealings with him while you were away."
MR: "He already had men on Earth. Kal-El and I turned to Zod for help but we were tricked. Zod sent me to the Phantom Zone. There I heard rumors... nothing specific. Darkseid suffered a setback...but was not defeated. That is why I risked much to contact you... and gave you means to co-ordinate my extraction."
AoT: The martian considers his words. Dramatic music starts up.
MR: "Darkseid...is exactly as his name implies. He is devoid of compassion, of empathy, of remorse, of pity. He is...darkness. And he has turned his gaze to Earth."
KK: "You can thank Zod for that. He went through some kind of portal to Apokolips...and Clark said he died there, trying to exact some kind of revenge against Darkseid for--"
TW: Excuse me but when the hell did Clark tell Lionel any of this?
KK: Offscreenville, where all the good stuff happens.
TW: Clark would never...
AoT: What happens offscreenville stays in offscreenville, Tom.
ED: What the hell does that mean?
AoT: I'm not sure but I've wanted to say it for a long time.
KK: Can I finish my line?
TW: But Clark would never...
KK: Want me to add another scene to Revolt?
TW: Not really.
KK: Then let it happen in offscreenville.
TW: Stupid offscreenville!
KK: "He died there, trying to exact some kind of revenge against Darkseid. For what I don't know."
MR: "The destruction of Krypton."
ED: Dun-dun-dun!
KK: Lionel is in awe, "Darkseid destroyed... Krypton?" Finally there's a magnificent bastard even he can look up to.
JG: Let's not get carried away.
MR: "Darkseid sabotaged Krypton's sun shortly after General Zod was exiled to the Phantom Zone. The resulting supernova destroyed the planet...but not before he announced his intentions to all Kryptonians, knowing that they could not stop him."
AoT: Quick reaction shot of Otis. Lionel looks concerned. Slow zoom on the martian.
MR: "If there is one thing you should know about Darkseid, Lionel Luthor it is that he will not stop before he attains his objective, whatever it may be. He will not stop."
ED: He's like the little engine that could!
KK: Not the analogy I would have made. Slow zoom on Lionel "And thanks to Zod, he may have a new objective: Earth."
ED: I think I can...
MR: ...destroy earth.
ED: I think I can...
MR: ...destroy earth
ED: I think I can...
MR: ...destroy earth.
KK: OK, enough, you two.

AoT: Cut to a hallway at LuthorCorp. Lex is walking with his secretary as Hope intercepts him. "Lex? We have contact."
KK: "I see...where?"
AoT: "South Metropolis."
KK: "Have critical personnel evacuated from our facilities there. If necessary, use the Spa..." Lex pauses for a moment.
AM: Bitter that Chloe took the Spartans with her, I assume.
MR: And how he'll probably never have sweet hot sex with his harmen of Chloe clones ever again.
AM: You're sick.
MR: It's not my fantasy! It's Lex's! Lex is the wack job!
KK: Right.
AoT: So if we wrote a Chlone orgy for Lex you wouldn't...
AM: You better not!
MR: I'd... I'd make the sacrifice for the sake of my craft. But I wouldn't enjoy it.
[TW gives MR a skeptical glance]
MR: Much.
AoT: "Lex?"
KK: "If necessary the PAS may assist."
AoT: "Yes, sir."
KK: Hope hurries off.
AoT: Lex's secretary is confused, "Contact, Mr. Luthor?"
JG: Lois is Lex's new secretary?
ED: Shut up.
KK: "Nothing to concern yourself with. Everything is proceeding just as it should be."

continued...