Bounty by KK & AoT Part XI

as retold by RepairmanBob (with help from Bill C, jwm, PhantonChic, and Maniac64)

AoT: Cut to the Senator, as he pulls a briefcase out from behind a chair and opens it to remove a manila folder. He hands it to Lex. "Right now, we're calling it Athena. Military units, covert intelligence, research...all under one umbrella, specifically dealing with alien or high-level mutant threats. And we've already chosen the person we want to run it...you."
KK: "Me?"
JG: Lex? They are giving control of this project to Lex? What the hell?
AoT: "For lack of a better phrase: we can't think of anyone else who is genuinely qualified to run it."
JG: I find that hard to believe!
AoT: "It's not a completely done deal yet, the President still has to run it by his supporters--but it's looking very real." The Senator stands up. "Do you accept the position, Lex?"
KK: Lex stands up, takes the Senator's outstretched hand. "I accept, Senator Chandra."
JG: This is absurd! It would be like Erica wining an Emmy!
ED: Hey!
KK: Hey, this was all Annette's idea.
AoT: Michael is writing two of the final four episodes, so I thought it best to throw him a bone. In any case, we need this to set up Lionel's final scene.
JG: But Lex lost again! Lobo went on a big gay rampage with Clark! In the last episode, Clark beat Lex to a pulp and Chloe threatened him! How can the government give him anything?
KK: No one said the government in Smallville was very bright, John.
AoT: "Excellent. I'll pass the word up the chain...you'll probably get some calls about this in the morning. Now, I need to get back to D.C...thanks for the drink, Lex."
KK: "Thank you, Senator." Senator Chandra retrieves his briefcase and exits. Pan over as Lex goes to stand by the fireplace and Hope walks over to him.
AoT: "What was that about?"
KK: "Athena...a new government division created specifically to deal with alien threats. They want me to run it."
JG: [Grumbles] Lionel could run a project like this in his sleep.
AoT: "Which is exactly what you wanted, isn't it?"
KK: "I would have been happy as just a primary independent backer, Hope. There's no way they wouldn't have given me that. But actually running something like this...something which apparently has international support..."
AoT: "Which means even more access to the government, the military--"
KK: "And having carte blanche to deal with anything that poses a significant threat to mankind." Lex finishes off his drink."
AoT: "Congratulations, Lex."
KK: "Thank you, Hope." He frowns. "But since you're here...and Mr. Ferret isn't..."
AoT: "I couldn't find him. But he left this package for you at LuthorCorp..." Hope walks over and sets a large box down on Lex's desk. Lex follows.
KK: "What is it?"
ED: Farmboy porn?
KK: That is what I suggested.
AoT: "I don't know. But it has a fingerprint scanner, and no one at LuthorCorp was able to override it."
KK: Lex looks down at the box, then places a finger on a raised oval on its top. Cut to a closeup of the scanner reading his fingerprint, then it beeps and the top of the box pops open slightly; at the same time, a recording of Ferret's voice begins playing. John, could you do Ferret again?
JG: "Mr. Luthor...I honestly had no idea things would go the way they did. Lobo has never failed a job before, y'know? Never! And he comes here and actually gets pally with his target? I'm so sorry, Mr. Luthor, and this is my way of saying 'Hey, my boy messed up, let me at least try to make it right.'"
KK: Cut to a reverse shot of Lex opening the box, its lid blocking most of the shot, and looking surprised at its contents. Pan up as Lex lifts what appears to be a oblong device out of the box.
JG: He gave Lex an alien dildo?
AoT: Ferret certainly does know the way to Lex's heart.
ED: Through his ass?
AoT: [Smacks ED on the back of the head]
JG: "Folks I got this from call it a ‘boom tube', Mr. Luthor. It makes them portals what'll get you from here-to-there right quick. I don't know how all it works – I'm just a humble middleman, you understand – but I was thinkin' a smart man like yerself could find a use for it."
KK: Lex and Hope stare at it for a few seconds. Reverse shot from slightly off Lex's POV, showing the device has six circular depressions on its upper surface and is marked with the Apokoliptian symbol.
JG: "Hopefully, this will ease things up between us. I like you, Mr. Luthor, and I hope to work with you again in the future. Have a good evenin'." This is unacceptable! Lex fails miserably and is rewarded for it! How does that make any sense?
KK: Have you been watching Smallville for the past seven years?
ED: She has a point.

KK: Cut to an exterior shot of the Luthor mansion as a limousine pulls up. Cut to the inside of the limo, where Lionel is sitting. He gets out of the limo on one side, and as it pulls away the camera tracks to follow it while keeping Lionel in the shot. A red glow briefly appears off-camera during the tracking shot, and at the end--as it makes a 180-degree turn to center Lionel in the shot--MM is standing next to him. "Were you able to locate Clark?"
AoT: "He has returned to his home, but according to Martha Kent he was under the influence of red kryptonite."
JG: Yes, that was the reason he stated dating Lobo. Martha is in denial.
KK: "That explains why he was so hard to find."
ED: Or why he was hard when Lois found him with Lobo.
AoT: "Martha Kent is watching over him now."
KK : "He should be all right eventually."
ED: And back to wearing flannel in no time.
AoT: it really is too bad. Tom does look quite good in leather pants.
ED: Especially tight leather pants.
JG: I wonder if we could make that part of a permenant change due to the RedK? Clark discovers his love of tight leather pants?
KK: I'm sure Dawn will love it.
AoT: "I will speak to him once he has recovered."

Continued...