7.12 Return by TW and JG (Part III)

JG: Two guards enter Lionel's cell.
MR: Do they have names?
TW: No.
MR: How about manly names. Tony and Guido.
JG: How about Curly and Moe?
MR: No!
JG: No? You realize my minion is named Otis?
TW: How about Smith and Johnson?
MR: That works.
TW: Is that OK with you, John?
JG: Yeah, I guess.
KK: You're going to let Michael have manly minion names and you get Otis?
JG: Only because Lionel gets to kick their ass.
MR: What?!!?
JG: Come on. It's Luthor security. What do you expect?
MR: [sigh] For someone to kick their ass.
JG: Exactly!
MR: Can we at least do it off-screen so Lex fans can at least fanwank it was a close match?
JG: No. Lionel is going going to kick their ass on screen with aplomb.
MR: Great.
JG: Cheer up. At least Lionel doesn't kick Lex's ass.
MR: Remind me to send you a gift basket.
JG: Don't be cheap! I want the good stuff. Lionel is "sleeping" on the bunk.
ED: No one's seen that trick before.
KK: At least it's not the "I need help!" trick.
MR: Almost as bad, though.
JG: But since Lionel isn't one to need help not nearly as believable.
TW: Smith and Johnson turn him onto his back.
JG: He morphs into Lucius!
AoT: Lucius can morph? But Allison said...
KK: He was deformed so Martha wouldn't kiss him?
AoT: Yeah!
TW: Yeah, but that's the way a lot of morphing characters are.
AoT: Not the terminator!
KK: He's a robot. You don't want Martha to make out with a robot do you?
AoT: I don't know. Is it properly equipped?
TW: [Head in hands] Oh. My. God! Stop, please.
MR: Does it explode when it's naked?
ED: Maybe if it's having sex and...
TW: Oh. My. God! Did you not hear me!?! Please stop!
AoT: We heard you dear. We just ignored you.
KK: Since Lucius isn't a robot...
MR: We could make him a robot!
TW: No!
MR: An exploding one!
TW: No!
KK: Which leaves us with the fact most organic morphers are deformed.
AoT: Tina Greer wasn't deformed.
KK: She was deranged!
MR: Yeah, she tried to kill Lana though.
KK: Well, she wasn't all bad.
ED: The terminator rip of we had my second episode wasn't deformed.
TW: Stop Erica, you're not helping!
AoT: Can we make it so Lucius isn't deformed anymore?
JG: But he's good. Martha is turned off by good, right?
AoT: Oh, yeah. Shoot. Keep him deformed then.
TW: [breaths a sigh of relief]

JG: Lionel drops down from the ceiling and busts Smith over the head with a lead pipe.
MR: Come on, you guys!
TW: Lucius, "Let's get you out of here."
JG: Lionel, "Not yet." he tells Johnson to take them to the computer room.
MR: They're going to bust into Lex's files too!?!?
JG: Hey, watch it. We'll have them conk Lex over the head if you don't quit.
MR: Whatever.
JG: [To TW] Lex hasn't been conked on the head in a while. He's about due don't you think?
MR: Alright, I'm shutting up!
JG: I think we should do it anyway.
MR: I said I'm shutting up!
JG: Better.

TW: Cut to Clark and J'onn at the Fortress.
JG: J'onn tells Clark some Kryptonian history and Clark quickly complains.
TW: Complains?
ED: I want to hear the Kryptonian history.
JG: It doesn't' matter. Some gobbledygook about an ancient war with a relentless enemy.
ED: And?
JG: And what?
ED: What happened?
JG: Krypton blew up. You're on a Superman show and you didn't know that?
ED: Of course I do, I just want to know how!
TW: We don't get into that.
ED: Why?
KK: The Kryptonians were far superior technologically and had defeated the enemy in the past, however when they returned they returned with a vengeance with numbers the Kryptonians could never hope to match. There was an attempt to...
JG: Did you add all that to our script?
KK: Yeah, you were seriously lacking in back story. The council attempted to make peace but...
TW: Because we don't have time for twenty minutes of sci-fi geek exposition we're going to move on!
KK: It's not sci-fi geek exposition!
JG: Sounded like it to me.
KK: It's not!
TW: Whatever it is, Clark's had enough of listening. He's pissed, "You lead me to believe Earth is in danger and all you want to do is give me a refresher course in ancient Kryptonian history? I have better things to do than wallow in the past." He turns to leave.
JG: J'onn, "Wait. The lesson is necessary to understand why in order to save Earth we will need the help of..." He pauses, "Zod."
MR: Sweet! Do I get to be Zod again?
JG: No.
MR: Does Lex get to kick Zod's ass?
JG: No.
MR: Zod doesn't kick Lex's ass, does he?
JG: Sadly, no.
MR: Whew. Proceed.


JG: Cut to LuthorCorp. Lucius opens the door to a high security room.
TW: Lionel sits and starts going through computer files as Lucius braces the door. "Looks like no one has found us yet." Lucius takes another terminal and starts checking into data on the cure and Chloe.
JG: He flips through the screens pretty quickly as if he knows exactly what he's looking for.
MR: [Holding up Maxim] Like half naked pictures of Chloe.
[Cast look at MR]
MR: What?
[Cast continues to look at MR]
MR: Or maybe he can just read really fast.
JG: Lionel on the other hand is looking for stuff on Hasaad.
TW: Lucius finishes first, "What are you looking for?"
JG: Lionel, "Lex is up to something big. You didn't give me enough time to figure out what." Lionel stumbles on records relating to what Lex had sent to Hasaad’s new facility. Quick focus on the symbol Lionel was scrawling in the notebooks Lex found a few episodes ago. Lionel’s eyes go white and he suddenly looks scared.
TW: Lucius takes a moment to look at the screen. There's banging on the security door and yelling from outside. "You mean give you enough time for Lex's goons to mop you up?" He grabs Lionel's wrist. "Stop wasting time, if we don't get out of here now we're going to have a big problem, Mr. Luthor."
JG: Lionel pulls away and continues typing. "Getting out of here is the least of our problems, Mr. Best."
TW: Show the door dent as the Lex's security rams it from outside. Lucius takes Lionel's arm again. "Let's go."
JG: Lionel pulls away, "I just need to download..."
TW: Lucius pushes the computer off the desk on onto the floor, "I said let's go!"
JG: Lionel looks at him with a mixture of surprise and disgust. The door flies open and in walks Hope and two security guards, guns pointed.

Continued...