7.12 Return by TW and JG (Part VII)

JG: But Zod easily...
TW: Not easily!
JG: Whatever, that's for the director to decide. Zod knocks Clark flat, "This time I won't be so easily tricked, Kal-El." Zod punches Clark across the Fortress. Clark smashes into a wall and Zod super speeds over after him and grabs him by the throat.
TW: "I won't let you destroy Earth."
JG: Is that the best you've got? Come on, get in character man!
TW: This doesn't look like the scene I sent you.
JG: Just read. We can hash out details later.
TW: Fine. "I won't let you destroy Earth!"
JG: Better! Zod punches Clark with his other hand.
KK: A couple times. I put a couple times in the script.
TW: Kristen!
JG: Right, a couple times. Good choice, Kreuk.
TW: John!
JG: "Silence! I'm not going to destroy this world! I'm going to save it, it and countless others! I am going to reverse the mistakes of my pathetic superiors!"
TW: "You..."
JG: "Thanks to a complete and utter lack of foresight the myopic Kryptonian government led by your father believed peace must be maintained at all costs."
TW: "Maybe someone like you could never understand the value of peace."
MR: Yeah, give peace a chance!
JG: Shut up. "I know peace is never worth more than my own people's survival."
TW: "Survival? What does that have to do with turning this world into some idealized version of Kryp--"
JG: "Child, are as blind as the counsel! I did it to stop them!"
TW: "Stop who?"
JG: "Krypton's greatest enemy!" Zod tosses Clark across the fortress again. "The enemy who made a mockery of your father's ridiculously misguided quest for peace!"
MR: Dammit, I can't think of a good Nuclear Man joke.
JG: There aren't any, Rosenbaum.
TW: "You plan to destroy Earth like you did Krypton when you betrayed Jor-El!"
JG: "Me, destroy Krypton? You are as much a fool as your father! I was the only one willing to save it! The government...Jor-El...they are the ones who betrayed me! And my forces... Your father stood by and allowed them to be slaughtered by the thousands... all for naught! His betrayal was the beginning of the end for Krypton."
TW: "No! Jor-El did everything he could to save Krypton!"
JG: "Do not presume to speak to me of 'noble' Jor-El, whelp! Jor-El did everything he could to save you and this planet. I had already been exiled to the Phantom Zone, but I heard the stories... of the attack that destroyed our world because no one else had the courage to stop it. If your fool of a sire and his cabal of sycophants on the council had only listened to me, I could have... No. I would have saved our world... our families...our friends... the entire Kryptonian Alliance would have been spared! But the benevolent Jor-El decided to the fate of hairless primates polluting this back water world was more important than the fate of his own people! He valued animals above his own race!"
TW: Clark super speeds up to Zod.
JG: In slow motion Zod easily grabs him by the throat.
TW: Come on!
JG: Just read the script, Tom.
TW: "What are you talking about?"
JG: "That's right, Kal-El. You're not alone. Your father mated with one of these beasts you've so grown to love as well..."
AoT: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
JG: What?
AoT: Jor-El had sex with a human?
JG: Yeah, what's her name...
KK: Lana's aunt, Louise.
ED: Clark should be all over that!
TW: What?
KK: All over Louise?
ED: No! To find out how Jor-El did it.
MR: Here's my guess. Very carefully.
ED: Shut up, Michael. So he can get it on with Lana!
KK: Lana is dead.
ED: Well... Chloe then.
KK: Chloe is dead.
ED: Oh, yeah. Never mind.
KK: Although...
ED: Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no!
KK: I think you've found the perfect solution for how Lois gets pregnant!
ED: Crap!
KK: No more hiding behind super sex.
ED: Shut up!
JG: As fascinating as this digression has been may I get on with my magnificent rant?
AoT: Go ahead, John.
JG: You've broken my stride. I'm going to start over.
KK: Lois and Clark sittin' in a tree...
ED: Shut up!
JG: Yes, Kristen, shut up. "That's right, Kal-El. You're not alone. Your father mated with one of these beasts you've so grown to love as well. Suddenly they meant more to him than decades of friendship, more than his home planet, Krypton, more than even his own wife!" Zod spits in disgust.
ED: Now hold on a second. Didn't Zod want to jump Lana's bones too?
KK: Yeah, I distinctly remember because I had to kiss Michael.
MR: You loved it.
KK: I still remember the smell of onion burger!
MR: See? I knew you loved it.
KK: You know what I loved? The stabbing scene.
MR: You mean when Zod nailed Lana's hand to the wall?
KK: No!
MR: I loved that one too.
JG: Stop you two. When Michael was playing Zod Krypton had been destroyed. Zod had been trapped without a body in the Phantom Zone for about twenty years.
ED: He was desperate.
JG: Lana was acceptable as a last viable option kind of thing. Zod would only screw a human if humans were the only thing left.
KK: OK, whatever.
ED: I thought you didn't care about Lana anymore?
KK: Yeah, um, I don't. It's just that...
MR: You don't like her being the option of last resort?
KK: Shut up!
JG: What can I say? Not all Kryptonians are blinded by the pink. [pauses] Imagine a really lonely farmer.
TW: You just had to go there, didn't you?
KK: Except with Papa Kent he wasn't really all that lonely.
TW: Kristen!
JG: Heh, good one, Kreuk. Now, where were we? Oh yes, depravity.
TW: [sighs]
JG: "It was your depraved, ignorant, human-loving father who doomed your race, Kal-El! Now I'm all that is left of the once great Kryptonian people-- for you, like your father, are nothing more than an insult to your Kryptonian heritage!" Here Zod punches Clark, slowly and deliberately. He pulls a crystal from the console.
MR: I think Clark is about to become someone's "bitch."
JG: Heh, if only we aired on HBO.
TW: Yeah, about that, I'm not liking your edit here much at all.
JG: It's all to build Zod up so Clark can take him later. "You are weak!" Punch. Zod pulls another crystal. "You are useless!" Punch. Another crystal. "And this time you will not stop me!"
MR: Punch?
JG: Actually Zod throws Clark yet again. This time right through an ice column.
TW: You're enjoying this, aren't you?
JG: A little. Cut to Clark lying in a pile of broken ice and so on, bloodied and battered.
TW: A little?
JG: OK, a lot. We end with a shot from slightly below of Zod standing tall, fists full of crystal, looking pissed but with a slightly obsessed smile on his face.
KK: We're thinking Jack Nicholson in The Shining.
JG: Music swells.
KK: Wendy, I'm home!
JG: Cut to black title card: "To Be Continued..."
TW: That's it. We're re-writing that last scene!
JG: No, we're not.
TW: I take Bryan's flak for you guys and this is how you repay me?
KK: Oh, come on, Tom. It's not like we're asking you to wear the suit.
TW: Frankly the suit is starting to not look so bad.

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