Seven friends and a Karaoke bar (Part I)

[AM's farewell bash at a packed Karaoke bar. AoT is starting up Sarah McLachlan's "Hold On"]
AoT: Hold on. Hold on to yourself.
ED: This is really the song Annette was going to sing to close the episode?
AM: It really is.
MR: This was my favorite part...
AoT: For this is going to hut like hell.
KK: Your favorite?
MR: Hope was going to bash Lionel over the head with a lead pipe on that line.
JG: Then I for one am glad you chose the ending you did.
AoT: Hold on. Hold on to yourself.
KK: So how was the rest going to go?
MR: Who cares? It's not an 80's song.
AoT: You know that only time can tell
AM: Here we were going to start prepping Chloe for Salvation.
AoT: what is it in me that refuses to believe
MR: And here Ma Kent was being stood up by Lionel. Because he's being creamed with a lead pipe!
AoT: this isn't easier than the real thing.
JG: I definitely like the new ending better.
AM: Really? We were trying to kill of Lionel.
JG: Now I want to know more.
AoT: My love, you know that you're my best friend.
AM: Now this was my favorite part.
MR: Oh yeah. Chloe gets to hold Clark's hand. Excuse me while I go barf.
AoT: You know that I'd do anything for you
TW: I think it's sweet.
MR: [Gives TW a disgusted look] You would.
AoT: and my love, let nothing come between us
KK: More Clark?
AM: No. Lois was going to kiss Chloe on the forehead or something.
ED: [Smiles] Aw.
AoT: my love for you is strong and true.
JG: Forget this sweet crap. Tell me about killing off Lionel!
MR: Heh, This was were Hope was supposed to beat him senseless.
JG: What?!?!
AoT: Am I in heaven here or
MR: Yeah, the hole nine yards. Hope kicks some Lionel ass!
AoT: am I... At the crossroads I am standing.
JG: Bloody hell!
AoT: So now you're sleeping peaceful
MR: So we cut to Martha trying to call Lionel.
AoT: I lie awake and pray, that you'll be strong tomorrow, and will see another day
TW: Martha's calling Lionel? I think I like the new ending better too.
KK: But Chloe died in the new ending.
TW: I mean besides that.
AoT: Oh god, if you're out there won't you hear me.
MR: More beating of Lionel. You know maybe this ending wasn't so bad after all.
JG: You really were going to kill him off?
AoT: I know we've never talked before
MR: Sure. The idea was he's not canon either so instead of killing Chloe kill Lionel.
KK: Makes sense.
JG: Or if Bryan is dead set on killing Chloe kill both!
AoT: and oh god
AM: And then of course back to Martha after Hope knocks Lionel unconscious or maybe dead.
AoT: the man I love is leaving
TW: "The man I love"? I think I'm going to be sick.
AoT: won't you take him when he comes to your door
MR: But Bryan wouldn't go for it. He said Chloe has to die. Then he started babbling on about something called the Loe theory.
AM: Idiot!
TW: The what?
ED: [Depressed] It's true. I thought he was full of bullshit but I looked it up on the Internet!
TW: What's on the Internet?
AM: [Mouths "Never mind" to TW]
ED: Turns out Lois Lane was never really Lois Lane. She's actually Chloe Sullivan. [starts crying]
TW: [gives AM an "You are so evil" look.]
AoT: Am I in heaven here or
AM: Wait, this is good too. This was when we were going to lower Chloe into the Salvation enclosure.
KK: Salvation enclosure?
AoT: am I in hell. At the crossroads I am standing.
AM: Made sense with the song.
KK: Oh.
AoT: So now you're sleeping peaceful
MR: So Chloe gets sedated, blah blah blah, does Annette have to sing the whole song?
AoT: I lie awake and pray
KK: You want to try and stop her?
MR: No.
AM: Besides this was where Lex and Kahloe look all worried.
MR: I hated that part.
JG: I bet.
MR: Until I changed it to have Kahloe kiss Chloe.
KK: Really?
AM: I don't think so!
AoT: that you'll be strong tomorrow
MR: Think about the ratings, Allison. Everybody loves a good lesbian kiss.
AoT: and we will see another day
AM: She'd be kissing herself!
MR: Even better.
AM: You are so gross!
AoT: and we will praise it, and love the light that brings a smile
MR: I just know what people like.
AoT: across your face
JG: What I like is this idea of getting me off the show.
AM: Not going to happen, John.
AoT: Hold on
MR: Oh, this was cool. Lex was going to nod to Dr. Richards here.
AoT: hold on to yourself
JG: It's not?
AM: We couldn't find anybody who would take you.
MR: Then Dr. Richards pulls the switch.
AoT: for this is gonna hurt like hell.
AM: And go to black.
[The cast is silent for a few moments while other patrons clap for AoT]
AoT: I can't believe you guys didn't go with that ending! It's so...
MR: Like we already told you that ending was only for if...
AoT: Chloe didn't die.
AM: [Sobs]
MR: [Passes a shot of Tequila to AM] Here. Have another drink.
AM: [Shoots then reaches into a bowl on the bar, frowns when she finds it empty, and looks generally depressed.]
[ED is served a hot fudge sundae]
KK: I've never seen you eat anything like that. What's going on?
ED: [Holding back tears] Well, if I'm going to have to look pregnant I might as well enjoy it, right?
KK: Are you enjoying it?
ED: [Takes a bite. Frowns.] No. [Lays her head down and starts sobbing] I don't want to be pregnant!
TW: Allison, Erica, we can still beat this. You just have to believe!
KK: Dare to dream!
AM: [Glares at KK] Yeah, whatever.
KK: [To TW] Was it something I said?
JG: [Holds up shot glass] To Allison!
CAST: To Allison! [They all down a shot.]
MR: And now for the song we're keeping in the episode.
AM: Song? What song?
[MR takes the stage. Marvin Gaye's "Sexual Healing" begins.]
AM: Oh, no you don't!
MR: The scene where Lex and Chloe bump uglies.
AM: Lex and Chloe never...
MR: Don't say never! You know they did!
[MR starts singing to AM.]
MR: Get up, get up, get up
AM: Stop it Michael! There's no song for that scene!
MR: Wake up, wake up, wake up
ED: [Stops crying ] I love this song! [Starts to stand] Can I sing too?
AM: Sit down, Erica! Even if there was a song for that scene, which there isn't, it definitely wouldn't be this one!
MR: Don't be a killjoy, Allison.
KK: Besides, if Chloe can heal someone with a simple touch just imagine...
AM: You can shut the hell up Kreuk!
[MR starts singing to TW who turns red.]
MR: Ooh, now let's get down tonight
ED: [Clapping] Whaho! Go Micheal!
MR: Baby I'm hot just like an oven
AoT: [to ED] So, did you want to hear about season 3.5?
ED: [Distracted] What? Now?

Continued...