A Relaxing Coffee Break

As retold by RepairmanBob

(JG and AoT are drinking coffee together on the studio lot.)
JG: So have you heard about Allison’s new show?
AoT: Oh no, did she end up on Ghost Hunters?
JG: You didn’t hear?
(ED walks past them to a craft services table.)
ED: Where are the goddamn donuts? (She head-butts an intern.) I want a jelly fucking donut! (She attacks a group of production people, sending them running.) And some pastries! (She flips the table)
AoT: What in the world has gotten into her?
JG: (Pulls out his iPod). You must watch this.
(Black screen. A female voice begins to speak.)

Humans. (Scene of people milling about a small town.)

They are
the only animals that wage war upon themselves.
(Ships fly over the town,
dropping bombs. Explosions rock the city)

They kill for power. (The President stands on a podium, watching people in uniform marching past
him)

They kill for profit. (The Bearded Man and 2 other poorly
dressed men rob an armored truck. The Breaded Man shoots 2
guards)

They kill for beliefs. (A woman in a temple of Athena is
screaming to her congregation)

They kill what they do not
understand.
(A gang of humans corners a Cylon. It raises its hands in
supplication, and they attack it.)

They think themselves the masters
of creation.
(A wealthy man looks out at a vast city.) The beloved of
their gods, rulers of all they survey.


(Cut to AM. She is wearing a
white dress, similar to Six’s infamous red dress, with lots of cleavage. She is
talking to HK-47.)
AM: It is time humanity learned its proper place in the
universe.
(Smiles) By being removed from it.
HK-47: Statement: By your command.

Capricia.
AoT: Oh my word.
JG: Indeed.
AoT: And doesn’t Kristen love science fiction shows?
JG: You might say that.

KK: (drinking a cup of coffee at a nearby table, looking off into space) It should have been me. It should have been me.
ED: (Charging past, tossing interns around) I want some bagels! And cream cheese! And a pie!
(ED knocks over KK’s table, and chases after some grips. KK’s coffee falls to the ground. She does not appear to notice.)
KK: It should have been me.

AoT: Oh dear. How are Tom and Michael doing?
JG: Slightly better. The are happy Allison is taking off her – I mean happy for her career is taking off.
AoT: (Raises an eyebrow) Really.
JG: Oh, all right. The have been trying to sneak onto the Capricia set to get pictures of Allison in that white dress.
AoT: My word. That is just so –
(JG’s cell phone rings)
AoT: John, you have a text.
JG: No I don’t.
AoT: I just heard it your phone.
JG: No you didn’t.
AoT: Then you won’t mind if take a look?
JG: Fine, fine. (Hands AoT his phone.)
John – we gave director of photography three cases of tequila for unedited footage. Photos soon!
AoT: Oh my.

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