7.14 Escape by TW and ED (Part IV)

as retold by RepairmanBob
TW: The cell. Clark is overwhelmed by Non and Ursa, and is getting his ass kicked.
JG: Again.
TW: But this time, it serves a purpose. Cut to Zod. He is staring off space looking devastated. Cue some dramatic, “a beat-down is coming” music. His expression changes to the more pissed off look we have come to know. Zod stands up, reaches into his boot, and takes out a crystal dagger. He super-speeds up to the fight, where Non is holding Clark against a wall –
MR: Where he is banging him roughly?
TW: For Ursha to –
KK: Roughly bang him?
TW: Use her heat vision.
JG: Close enough.
ED: Zod stabs Non in the back. The big kryptonian looks confused, and drops to the ground. Ursa screams and attacks Zod. They fight, and Zod stabs her. Ursa grabs Zod to hold herself up. She looks at him, and says “Thank… you… my… love” and goes limp. Zod carefully lowers he to the ground.

TW: Back to General Lane’s tent. Lucius walks in, nods to Lionel and tells Martha they are ready. Outside, meta-humans join the attack.
JG: OK, what product will you be pimping for this scene?
ED: For this scene? Nothing.
JG: Oh come on. The special effects budget for a large group of meteor freaks attacking an invading army from Apokolips will be astronomical.
TW: It has all been approved by the accounting department. We have one product later on that will pay for the rest of the episode.
MR: Is it porn? Did you make a deal to sell porn?
KK: I say Nike!
AoT: DeBeers!
ED: Oh, I think it is –
TW: Erica! Shut up!
ED: What?
TW: You know what it is! You helped me make the deal!
ED: Oh, yeah.

TW: Back in the cell. “Zod?”
KK: Awwww, Zod’s bitch is worried about him.
ED: “My family died twenty years ago, whelp. They died on Krypton, along with the rest of our people. They died because of the arrogance of the High Council. The died because of your fool of a sire. They died because of me.” Zod closes Ursa’s eyes. “Krypton died because of me.” Zod says that Darkseid must be stopped.
TW: “What do you care about Earth?”
ED: “I care about justice for dead. I care about correcting the mistakes of the past.” Zod smirks. “Most of all, I care about vengeance. I care about making Darkseid scream and bleed and suffer. If that means your precious apes live to see another day, it is a price I am willing to pay. But I canot do this alone. Are you with me, Kal-El? Will you do what is necessary to save your world?”
TW: “Yes.”
MR: Buddy cop moment, or gay moment?
KK: Little from column A, little from column B.
TW: Zod and Clark charge the door, and burst through it.

TW: The LuthorCorp lab from Exit. Dr. Richards and Lex are frantically moving from one computer to another, flipping switches and pressing buttons. “How many of the Revision Two units can we bring online?"
ED: Dr. Richard looks like he is about to crap his pants. "The power needed to activate the units is massive, and with our present limitations -"
TW: Lex looks annoyed. "How many?"
ED: "Twenty units at most. Of course, if we temporarily re-routed some of the power allocated for Vault Black-"
TW: Lex turns on Dr. Richard, and looks very, very scary. "Nothing takes priority over Vault Black, Dr. Richards. Nothing. Do not make me tell you that again."
KK: I do believe Lex finally got himself a bitch.
MR: Nice.
JG: Don't worry. I am sure he will betray Lex some time soon.
MR: Quiet you!
TW: Lex calms himself. "How soon after activation can they go into the field?"
ED: “Less than ten minutes." Pause, while Dr. Richards finds his balls. "Are you sure about this, Mr. Luthor? We just finished testing the new alien technology, to say nothing of the unstable baseline materials from Vault Black –“
TW: “No time like the present for a field test, Dr. Richards." Lex presses several keys, and a hologram of a large, poorly lit room, filled tables covered in hoses and wires. Shapes can be seen on each table, and fog covers the metal grates of the floor.
KK: Great, Lex has another sex dungeon.
JG: You can never have too many sex dungeons.
TW: Lex places his hand to the hologram. "Lex Luthor. Password: Leonidas. Code: Thermopylae."
ED: Lights start to flash. The tubes and wires drop away. The table nearest lifts and tilts ninety degrees. A massive figure, hidden in shadow, slowly steps off the table. More tables begin to shift, and human-shaped shadows begin to move.
TW: Lex smiles. “It is time for LuthorCorp to save the world.”
AoT: You are going to get us sued!
KK: Yet again.
TW: We’ll call it a tribute.
AoT: I just want you all agree that this was Tom and Erica’s idea. When we are sued, they are the responsible parties.
JG: Since when do you care about lawsuits?
AoT: Since we seem to get production shut down a few times a year because of them. I like my paycheck to arrive on time every month, thank you.

TW: Back to Apokolips. Zod and Clark are looking at a huge machine, a few hundred feet from the portal they came through. At the top of the machine, a glowing white crystal shines brightly. An army of parademons, stretching back as far as the eye can see, marches, drives and flies into the portal Clark and Zod arrived in.
MR: Hold on, you are skipping the escape?
ED: Pretty much. Oh, and Zod has his backpack and weapons again.
MR: Come on! How can you leave that out?
TW: The same way the writers left out that Lionel could see in season two. Very easily.
JG: That hurts, Tom.
ED: Zod is putting on black battle armor. He points to the machine. “It is based on Kryptonian technology, Kal-El. Darkseid must have stolen it – he could never build something that advanced this on his own. If we destroy the machine –“
TW: “Then we end the invasion.”
JG: When did Clark become so intelligent?
TW: Since I was able to write him.
ED: Zod smiles. “Precisely.” He hands Clark a crystal. “You must get through the portal, whelp. The apes lack any weapon that could damage a functional portal. With this, you can destroy it.”
TW: “Hassad did not need the portal to get to earth. What is to stop Darkseid from sending him back to do this all over again?”
MR: Budget constraints?
KK: Plot induced stupidity?
ED: “The backlash from destroying the Earth-side portal will disable Darkseid's machine. I have a plan that will finish the job. The resulting explosions will wipe that smug grin from Darkseid’s face.” Zod’s smile becomes evil. “Along with his skin, his flesh and his bones.”
TW: “But you will be –“
ED: “Trapped here? Did you honestly think I would want to go back to Earth with you?” Zod laughs. “One of us must stay on here, to ensure the destruction is complete.”
TW: “That is suicide.”
KK: Duh.
ED: “That is doing what is necessary.” Zod breaks into a wide smile. “It will be glorious! I will keep the great oaf’s attention, boy. No matter what happens, no matter the cost, you must get through that portal!” Zod runs off towards the portal machine, and Clark follows him.

continued...