7.14 Escape by TW and ED (Part X)

as retold by RepairmanBob
ED: Once Clark is out of earshot, "I just wanted to thank you.. and your league or whatever you call them for what you did today."
TW: "Well you... " Ollie can't seem to find a compliment to return to Lois, "You were out there too."
ED "Yeah. Well as much as I'd like to give myself, my dad, and especially your band of super powered do gooders credit we all know it wasn't us who saved the day."
TW: "You're not really buying into Lex's Spartan crap..."
ED: "Are you kidding?" Lois pulls out some photos and points at a red blur. "This is the guy who saved the day."
TW: Ollie takes a critical look.
ED: "Hassad said his name is Kal-El. Have you heard of him?"
TW: Quick cut to Clark using super hearing to eavesdrop. He's starting to look concerned.
ED: Of course Ollie lies his ass of and implies that Lois was seeing things. Bastard.
KK: You say that like he really is your ex.
ED: "Look, I know this is going to sound crazy but this guy... "
TW: "Or girl."
ED: "It's a guy. I know it. He's the one who saved us from Armageddon."
TW: "And you know this because....?"
ED: "I saw him destroy the portal." Ollie looks unimpressed. "He can fly, Oliver! And he had some weapon that destroyed something a mega ton missile didn't even scratch."
TW: “You know what Lois? I think you were seeing things. The battle today was pure chaos. At one point I could have swore I was fighting beside Liberace."
KK: If this scene gets any gayer, we are going to need “It’s Raining Men” in the background.
ED: Lois says she doesn't care if no one believes her. She's going to get to the bottom of it.
MR: Wasn't she going to take down Lex last week?
JG: She's like an attack dog with attention deficit.
TW: Assuming the conversation is over Oliver turns away and pops open a beer, "I wish you the best of luck."
ED: There is an awkward silence. "Actually, that wasn't the only thing I wanted to talk to you about."
TW: Oliver waits for Lois to continue. Cut to outside. Clark is starting to get impatient. Krisitn, could you?
KK: Fine anything to get me out of here. I am meeting Allison and Ron – ah, hell.
JG: (Looks interested.) You are meeting who, Kristin?
KK: Never mind. Zinda approaches and gives Clark a flirty look as she goes in, "Hey there, farm-boy."
TW: "I think you should wait."
KK:"For what?" She continues to go in.
TW: "Ollie and Lois..." But Zinda has already gone. Clark moves to follow her.
ED: Back inside. Loins, "I, uh, I wanted to apologize for the things I said to you the last time we saw each other."
TW: "There's no need to apologize Lois. I deserved it."
MR: What? Are you serious?
TW: Erica's idea.
MR: No shit.
ED: "And I've been thinking. Now that I know your secret I thought maybe..." she pauses.
TW: Ollie is oblivious, "Maybe what?"
ED: "Oh, God. Your going to make me come out and say it, aren't you? I was thinking that maybe we could try..."
AoT: What? I thought Lois was going to hook up with Bittleman! Now Durance's character has two men sniffing around her? Where's the justice in that! Martha has what? A deformed mutant?
JG: She's got Lionel!
TW: She does not have Lionel!
KK: Lois is interrupted by a woman's voice. "Oh, Ollie love?" Zinda enters the room and hugs Ollie from behind. Clark follows closely and stops and looks embarrassed when he sees the two of them engaged in PDA. Hold on, what?
ED: Tom's idea.
KK: No shit."The bird is fueling up now but it's cold as a witch's tit outside." She nuzzles Oliver's ear. "I was hoping you might help keep me warm while I get her started back up." Zinda finally notices Lois. "Oh, hi Lois. I didn't see you."
ED: Lois blinks a couple times and gives a fake smile. "Zinda. So how long have you been flying with this clown?"
KK: "Ever since I helped you take out Luthor's twisted version of Pleasure Island. I thought Ollie would have told you?"
ED: "No. He doesn't always share everything with me."
KK: Zinda hugs Ollie tighter, "You were right, Lois. He is quite a catch!"
TW: Lois tries to play it cool but Clark can tell she's broken hearted on the inside.
ED: She's not broken hearted! She's... surprised.
MR: She's broken hearted.
ED: You can stop talking now, Micheal!
TW: So be a nice guy and give her an out Clark offers to drive her home.
ED: Which Lois graciously accepts.
AoT: Since when has Lois graciously accepted anything?
ED: OK, so she accepts without insulting Clark too badly.
TW: And on the way out she makes an ironic comment about having learned her lesson to never date another man with an alternate identity.
KK: Ha. Ha.
ED: Tom's idea.
TW: What? I thought it was funny! It's funny, right Micheal?
MR: Funny, ha ha, or funny, gay?
TW: Funny, ha ha.
MR: Then I'd have to say no. It's not funny.

TW: As Clark and Lois walk out, pan over to a TV, showing the end of Lex’s speech. As Lex talks about defeating the alien menace, the camera suddenly shifts to Apokolips.
AoT: Oh, dear.
TW: The portal machine, the armies, the city- everything is gone. All that is left is rubble, and a gigantic crater.
JG: This isn’t going to end well.
TW: Sinister music starts, and we move down into the crater. Lex’s voice over about stability and safety continues, as the camera speeds up, finally reaching the very bottom.
KK: I think the Transitive Bitch Rule is about to get an exception. Clark never gets to make anyone his bitch.
TW: The ground at the center of the crater has fused into glass. One point slowly begins to shine, then another. The glass starts to crack, and a black light floods upward. The cracks spead, and the glass explodes. The music changes from "Sinister" to "Holy Shit, Run Away Motherfucker, Run Away Now", with lots of horns and chanting in Latin. A battered Darkseid floats up. Zod’s crystal knife is still sticking out of his chest, and he is beyond angry.
JG: I bet he is smart enough not to pull the dagger out of the wound..
TW: Actually, he does.
JG: Oh, good Lord. Do none of you people know how to treat a knife wound?
ED: Hey, Lois –
MR: Is a moron.
TW: Darkseid, unlike Lois, glares at the knife instead of falling over and calling Chloe for a save.
ED: Lois is not dumb!
MR: Maybe compared to Clark.
KK: Or Lex.
AoT: Darkseid was not killed by that? Damn, he is one tough bastard.
JG: Hey, that… well, I guess you are right.
TW: Darkseid looks at the devastation, and grits his teeth. “KAL-EL!”
KK: Looks like Zod’s bitch is about to be handed off.
MR: I hope Zod got a pack of smokes for him.

TW: Back to the warehouse.
MR: Finally.
TW: Lionel threatens to go public about Lex’s alliance with Hassad and role in building the portal, unless he puts him back into a controlling position at LuthorCorp.
MR: No!
JG: Yes!
TW: The barter, and Lex stays as the public face of LuthorCorp, but Lionel gets access to all of his research on Apokolips and alien technology.
MR: No!
JG: Yes!
TW: Lex agrees, Lionel smiles and walks away.
MR: Bullshit! I call bullshit!
JG: Ha!

TW: Clark at the Fortress, talking to Jor-El.
TW: “I thought Zod was a monster, Jor-El. But he sacrificed himself to save Earth. Zod tried to do what he thought was right.”
KK: Which is making people his bitch.
MR: "You are a dumbass, my son."
JG: "I love my son. I love my dumb, gay son!"
ED: Jor-El admits that he was wrong to send Zod to the Phantom Zone.

continued...