7.14 Escape by TW and ED (Part VII)

as retold by RepairmanBob
ED: On Earth, Lois and Bittleman see Jimmy.
AoT: Didn’t we kill him?
KK: I killed him twice!
TW: Well, it doesn’t matter, since a stray laser kills him anyway.
MR: So you put Jimmy in just to kill him?
KK: Hurray
JG: Nice.
ED: We put Jimmy in so Lois could grab his very expensive camera.
MR: Wait, don’t Bittleman and Lois already have a camera?
ED: Yeah, but I wanted her to have a better one.
KK: And they get to kill Jimmy again!
AoT: Any chance Jimmy can appear in a dress?
TW: How does that make any sense at all?
KK: It just does!
TW: Fine, Jimmy is wearing a dress as a disguise for some reason.

ED: Back on Apokolips, Darkseid flies to the portal machine.
JG: “I am no longer amused, General Zod.”
ED: “Oh, but I am, mighty fool.” He holds up a small device. “Do you recognize this?” He throws it at Darkseid.
JG: Darkseid catches it. “A primitive nuclear fission weapon.”
KK: A what?
ED: “The apes covering Earth may be primitive, but they do have a talent for self-annihilation.” Zod flies higher. “I have covered your precious portal machine with these devices.” Zod raises something in his right hand, and presses a switch. “If I release this switch, they will detonate, taking this entire city and the portals with them.”
JG: A dead man’s switch? Nice touch. (Looks at the script.) Darkseid scowls.
ED: “Surrender now, mighty dullard, and when I am the ruler of Apokolips I will even allow you to pick which world I shall send you in exile.” Zod flies to the top of the portal machine and raises his arms.
JG: Darkseid smiles. “General Zod, you greatly overestimate your weapons and my patience. You will find both lacking.” He fires the Omega Effect at Zod.
ED: The beam hits Zod’s right arm at the wrist, severing it. The hand, still holding the dead man’s switch, fall to the ground
JG: Darkseid looks amused. "You own dead flesh will hold the trigger in place. It serves my will, as all things must." He smirks at Zod, then sees the flash of the crystal in Clark’s hand. “It is time to end this farce. Bring me the trigger device and Kal-El!"
TW: Clark runs for the portal. The last remaining Brainiacs fall, and Clark is surrounded and overwhelmed. The parademons drag Clark to the ground and pile on top of him.
KK: So we are back to the gay?
JG: That sounds like one ugly orgy.
TW: I hate you all.
ED: Zod lifts his rifle and starts firing left handed at dog soldiers around Clark. “Fly, whelp! Fly to save your world! Fly to save the humans! For once in your miserable existence Kal-El, be a true Son of Krypton and fly, damn you!”
TW: Under the pile, we see the shockwaves, and the entire pile lifts into the sky. Bodies fall, and we see Clark flying.
MR: So Zod inspires Clark to fly?
TW: Adversity inspired Clark to fly.
JG: Darkseid uses the Omega Effect, but it hits the parademons holding onto Clark. It burns through their bodies, getting closer and closer to him.
ED: Zod shoots Darkseid in the face. Darkseid is knocked back a step, and the Omega Effect beams disappear. Zod laughs and continues to fire.
JG: Darkseid is knocked back again, frowns, and for the first time looks annoyed. He flies towards Zod, and uses the Omega Effect. The rifle explodes, knocking Zod back against the portal machine.
TW: With Darkseid distracted, Clark flies towards the portal.

JG: Darkseid flies towards Zod, continuing to blast him with the Omega Effect.
ED: Close up of Zod’s chest. The skin is gone, and we see burned flesh and bone.
KK: Eww.
ED: Zod growls, and uses his heat vision against Darkseid.
JG: Darkseid reaches Zod. He ignored the heat vision, grabs Zod’s head and smashes him through a metal wall.
KK: So, Zod goes from having bitches to becoming one.
JG: Darkseid punches Zod three times in the face, then throws him the ground.
AoT: Now this is a man who knows how to deliver a beating!
JG: Zod tries to stand, and Darkseid stomps on his back. We hear cracking, and Zod screams. “You should have stayed away, General Zod. You should have enjoyed your exile in the Phantom Zone.”
ED: “I… will… kill… you…”
TW: Clark gets to the edge of the portal, and looks back at Zod and Darkseid.
JG: “No, you will not. You have once again failed, General Zod, as you have failed every time you have stood against me. As all must fail who would dare to oppose me. To defy Darkseid... is to defy the will of the universe. It is madness.” Darkseid stomps down again, and we hear more ribs break. “And it will not be tolerated.”
ED: “You… will… kneel… before me…“
TW: Clark looks at the portal, then back at Zod.
JG: “Goodbye, General Zod.” Darkseid raises his foot over Zod’s head. Over his shoulder, you see a small blur.
TW: Cut back to show Clark flying towards Darkseid. We use a slow motion shot to show Clark flying first-first into Darkseid. Darkseid flies off the top of the portal machine, and through a nearby building.

TW: Clark goes to Zod, and lifts him up.
ED: Zod screams again. His face is a mess – nose broken, one eye swelled shut, bleeding from a massive cut on his forehead. “Go, you mewing pup! Leave me and get through that portal!”
TW: “No! No one else dies!”
ED: “I am already dead, boy! Fly damn, you!”
TW: “I will not let Darkseid hurt anyone else!”
KK: Clark wants to save Zod? When did he get dumb again?
ED: I think he is being heroic!
AoT: Or really dumb.
ED: “Your father and I destroyed Krypton. You and I can save your home, but you must destroy the Earth-side portal! It is the only way!”
TW: “But –“
JG: From the rubble of the building, Darkseid stands. For the first time, he looks angry. “You would dare touch me, Kal-El! You would defile my presence with you filthy Kryptonian hands!”
KK: Darkseid is not a fan of people trying to make him a bitch
JG: I suspect he likes the ladies.
MR: He does if Chef is doing the voice.
AoT: “Gonna make love to you, Martha / Gonna lay you down by the fire”

continued...