7.14 Escape by TW and ED (Part V)

as retold by RepairmanBob
ED: Back to the battlefield. Lois and Bittleman are taking pictures, and Lois gets to shoot a few drooling dog soldiers.
TW: We see Titan shooting red eye beams at an Apokolips jeep, which explodes. Cyborg rushes three parademons to save some soldiers, and his arm is blown off. The soldiers help carry him away.
MR: Cool.
JG: Severed limbs? You really expect to get that past the censors?
TW: It is the robotic arm.
JG: Oh, never mind then.
ED: More meteor freaks and soldiers go down, and the parademons keep pushing forward.

TW: Inside General Lane’s tent. He is still on the phone. “Pull back to Beta Site! Full retreat! Even with the meta-humans, we are taking too many losses… We cannot maintain this location!… Regroup and execute Plan Gamma 47.”
ED: Martha still has the iPhone. Lionel is standing next to her. “No, you listen to me! I have Presidential authority to impose martial law, and I am ordering you to evacuate Metropolis! The invaders are heading towards the city, and we are barely holding them off!… I do not care what you need to do! Just get the people out of the city!”
AoT: Tom, perhaps I misjudged -
TW: Thank Erica. These scenes were your idea.
AoT: Really.
ED: (Looks at JG and AoT) You two owe me.
TW: One of the walls of the tent is ripped away. An parademon runs in and shoots two people.
JG: Not Lionel!
TW: No, the extras.
JG: Oh, good.
TW: The alien points his staff weapon at Martha –
AoT: Tom…
ED: But Lionel pulls her out of the way.
JG: And they kiss!
TW: And General Lane, still on the phone, pulls out his sidearm and shoots the alien twice.
JG: Wait, Lionel pulls Martha away but Lois’s dad gets to shoot someone?
MR: Well, it is Michael Ironside. He deserves to shoot someone.
ED: How about Lionel gets a gun from one of the dead soldiers, and he also shoots the alien?
JG: (Smiles) Lionel saves Martha and kills someone in the same scene. Durance, I like how you think.
AoT: I think Martha should get to shoot someone.
TW: Enough! The alien dies, and General Lane tells everyone to pack up and move to Beta Site.

ED: Clark and Zod are near the portal machine, attacking parademons and breaking stuff. Lots of super powers here, and Zod using his guns.
MR: That’s it? You are setting up a major battle scene, and that is all you are writing?
TW: It is just a set-up scene. Clark lifts and throws troops.
ED: Zod flies over is blowing shit up all over the place with his rifle in one hand and a home made pistol in the other. Zod laughs as he destroys a troop transport, blowing a crater in the ground and sending the green and gold clad survivors running. "Come to me, Darkseid! I defy you! Come, you wretch! Kneel before your better! Kneel before your master! Kneel before Zod!”
MR: (Stands up and claps.) That is so awesome!
JG: (Also stands and applauds.) What a bastard!
KK: I think you will cause a million geekgaisms with that one.
MR: Bryan will love it!
TW: (Smirks at ED) I told you we needed that line.
ED: I still don’t get it.
JG: Imagine that.

TW: Back to earth. Five fighter jets fly over Metropolis. We get some chatter about attacking the portal, then the pick up the flying dog soldiers. After a short dogfight, the jets are ripped apart or shot down.
ED: Cut to Hassad at the portal. “The humans are fools! We will drown them in their own blood!” He issues more orders.
TW: Cut to one of the parademons exploding.
ED: “What was that?”
TW: In the air, we see a dot flying. Quick zoom to show a group of 8 figures in heavy black armor flying over the city. Zoom in close on the lead figure to the see the LuthorCorp logo on his shoulder. The parademons shoot at them, but the weapons are deflected by force fields.
MR: Yes!
TW: They shoot fire, ice, or rockets at the flying dogs. One of the armored warriors flies to a parademon, rips off its wings and throws it to the ground.
MR: Yes! Yes!
ED: On the ground, more of the armored figures super speed into battle and attack the Cujo Corps. The fights are short and brutal. Two of them grab an alien tank and pull it underground.
KK: Did they just make Farmer Moleman’s power cool?
JG: I believe they did.
MR: (Stands up and dances) Lex rules! Yes! Yes! Yes!
TW: One of the figures moves towards the portal, and is brought down by fire from Hassad’s heavy guns. But in every other case, they destroy the aliens.

ED: Back to the LuthorCorp lab. Lex and Dr. Richards are monitoring the battle on holographic displays.
TW: “They are performing above expected parameters. Full use of the alien technology. All units are exhibiting 4-6 stable and controlled meta-human abilities.”
ED: “Unit 15 is down - sending Unit 4 to return it to base.”
TW: “Pull them back from the portal. Our only loss has come from those heavy weapons.” Lex smiles. “And have Unit 7 start bringing back alien technology and meta-human bodies. No uses letting all of that raw material go to waste.”

TW: Back to Apokolips. The dog soldiers suddenly pull back from Clark and Zod, growling and drooling all the while. Zod lands next to Clark and raises his eyebrow. The parademons continue to back away leaving a large open space around the Kryptonians. John?
JG: Very well. The area is quiet for a few seconds. Then someone slowly claps. “Bravo, General Zod. Your small rebellion has… amused me. It has amused me greatly. As has your willingness to kill your own kin. You will make a worthy slave. But now, the time for your disruption… has ended.” Darkseid floats over the battleground, hands folded behind his back, with a tiny smile on his face.
KK: OK, how are we going to cast Darkseid?
TW: CGI, probably.
AoT: I have an idea.
MR: Rick Springfield! I say Rick Springfield!
(The rest of the cast looks at MR with expressions of shock or horror.)
TW: No way!
ED: (To KK) Who is Rick Springfield?
KK: (To ED) How the hell should I know?
MR: I love Rick Springfield! We need to base the CGI on someone’s face, anyway, and Rick will be perfect! Think of the cross-over appeal!
TW: What cross-over appeal? How does Rick Springfield cross-over with the audience of Smallville?
AoT: (To JG) Who is Rick Springfield?
JG: (To AoT) How the hell should I know?
MR: Everyone loved Rick Springfield! (Starts to sing Jessie’s Girl)
TW: No! There is no fucking way is our major villain a 1980’s big hair has-been!
MR: (Stops singing) That is harsh, Tom.
TW: Michael, just try to think of the show.
MR: I guess we do need someone bigger.
AoT: I have an idea you might –
MR: I got it!
KK: Oh God.

continued...