The Iron Fist (Part I)

[TW, KK, and ED in the writer's room]
KK: [smirking] Are you an idiot?
ED: I trust Micheal.
KK: You trusted me. And Allison. And John. And Annette.
ED: So?
TW: I trust Micheal.
KK: Then you both are idiots.
TW & ED: Hey!
KK: I'm just saying when you put your trust in Micheal and things tend not to end well.
TW: We'll just have to wait and see, won't we?
KK: Whatever. So what's this big breakthrough he's managed?
ED: He told me he's arranged for Lois not to be pregnant!
KK: Surely that's not what has Tom so excited.
TW: I'm not sure but [whispers] I think he's convinced Bryan to re-hire Allison.
KK: What makes you think his big breakthrough isn't just another episode about centered around naked exploding women robots?
TW: One, Chloe was mentioned explicitly in the original description for Control. That's our next episode. Two, the casting woman has been meeting with Bryan almost non stop all week. And three, Michael has been grinning ear to ear every time they finish talking with her.
ED: Really?!? [Huge grin] He's definitely bringing her back!
KK: [Rolls eyes] Complete idiots.
[JG and AoT enter]
JG: OK Tom, we're here. What's so important?
ED: We're meeting with Bryan.
JG: You're freaking kidding me!
TW: No, we are.
JG: [Moving to leave] Of all the underhanded...
TW: Don't leave, John! We need to present a united front!
JG: [Showing TW a fist] I'll unite my fist with your face the next time you try to get me in the same room with that...
[MR & BS enter chatting jovially blocking JG & AoT's exit. JG backs away from BS and sits.]
BS: I've got to hand it to you Micheal, this is really big!
MR: That's what she said!
BS: [Slaps MR on the back] Ha! [The rest of the cast seems concerned] Hahahahaha!
MR: John! I didn't think you would make it!
JG: [Evil glance at TW] It wasn't by choice.
BS: Glad you're all here! I'm have an important announcement!
AoT: Martha is getting another lover?
TW & BS: No!
JG: Lionel is going to kick Lex's ass?
MR & BS: No!
ED: Lois doesn't have to be pregnant!
BS: Correct!
ED: [Pumps fists] Yesssss! [To KK] Suck it, sister!
BS: Chloe is going to be pregnant!
JG & AoT & KK: What?
ED: Who cares?!?! Lois isn't going to be pregnant!
TW: Chloe is... which means... Allison is back! Micheal, you're the greatest! I was afraid to even get my hopes up, but you've really come through for the team!
ED: [Stands and does a happy dance] Happy dance! Happy dance!
MR: [Uncomfortable] That's not...
ED: [Hugs MR] Micheal, if I ever said anything bad about you I take it all back!
MR: ...exactly...
TW: It's going to be so great to have Allison back!
ED: [Jumping up and down clapping] And I don't have to be pregnant!!!! [Dances] Happy dance! Happy dance!
BS: We're not hiring Allison back.
TW: I know your negotiations with her must be tough but maybe if I talk to her...
BS: The negotiations have been tough but the good news is we are on the verge of a major breakthrough...
MR: I knew it! [Dances] Yessss!
BS: ...but we never were negotiating with Allison.
ED: But if Allison isn't coming back...
TW: Who are you negotiating with?
BS: Micheal hasn't told you?
MR: [To BS] I was hoping to...
ED: ...who are you hiring to play Chloe?
BS: No one. You're going to play Chloe, remember?
MR: ...keep this...
ED: Oh my God. I still have to be pregnant!?!?!?
KK: [Pointing at ED] Hahahahahahaha!
AoT: If you're not negotiating for Chloe's role then who...?
MR: ...just between...
BS: Darkseid!
TW: Darkseid?!!?!?
MR: ...us, Bryan! Just between us!
BS: Don't be so modest, Rosenbaum. Bowie! David Bowie!
TW: What!?!?!?
BS: It's brilliant!
KK: Oh my God! Hahahahahahaha!!!!
BS: [Rubbing MR's scalp vigorously] Can you believe the ideas that come out of this head!?!?!
JG: No.
BS: [Continuing to rub MR's head] Feels like you missed a shave, buddy.
TW: What!?!?!?
KK: Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Bowie's gonna kick Tom's butt! [falls our her chair] Hahahahahahaha!!!!
TW: [Stands. To MR] I'm going to kill you!
MR: [Gulps and hides behind BS] I, uh, I think I better be going.
BS: Micheal, stay. We still haven't' gotten to my big announcement.
AoT & JG: Oh no.
BS: Say it Micheal...
MR: Say what?
BS: That's what she said?
MR: Bryan, really, I'm not in the mood.
BS: That's what she said! Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!
KK: [Climbing back into her chair rubbing tears from her eyes] Actually I can't wait!
MR: That's what she said! [Spots cast glaring and coughs]
BS: Tom is going to wear the suit!
KK: [Sighs and looks at her nails] Boring. You've been saying that since you got here.
BS: I had no way to enforce it before. But now... there's no way he can stop me.
TW: The hell I am! Check my contract! No flights, no tights!
BS: Exactly! And what did Clark do last episode?
AoT: [Realization] Oh, my God! Clark flew!
KK: This is just too good!
BS: Sorry, Tom. You do the flights, you don the tights. That part of your contract is null and void.
KK: Hahahahahahaha!!!!
TW: But...
KK: Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!
TW: But....
KK: Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
TW: Dammit, Erica! I told you Clark shouldn't fly!
ED: He had to! Lois isn't going to have a journalistic orgasm over some lame guy who can't fly!
TW: He destroyed the freaking portal! Wasn't that enough!?!?!
ED: Any idiot can stick a crystal into a portal.
TW: He can shoot fire from his eyes!
ED: I don't give a damn about...
BS: You guys can bore your cast mates with this argument later. Bottom line - Tom wears the tights!
TW: Bullshit!
BS: And another thing. You guys have been ignoring my directives far too long. It's bullshit and it's going to stop. From now on I'm going to be a lot more hands on.
AoT & JG & KK: Oh no.

continued...