7 friends back at a Karaoke bar

AoT: Come on, Tom. Just get up there and do it!
TW: For the last time no!
KK: I don't see what the big deal is. Micheal is getting up there.
TW: Only because you convinced the DJ to play Right Said Fred's "I'm too sexy" for him.
AM: It's my welcome back party, Tom. It's the least you can do.
TW: Don't expect me to do any favors after what you did to Clark last episode!
AM: Would you get up there if I change the last scene?
KK: [glares at AM]
TW: You promise to make it better?
KK: [continued glaring] Define better.
TW: You know. Chloe doesn't give Clark that guilt trip about not saving her.
KK: That's not "better"!
AM: Maybe we could...
KK: No way. I'm striking your name from the competition, Welling.
TW: Let's not be hasty, Kristin. I want to hear what Allison has to say.
KK: Bullshit! The scene isn't going to change!
AM: Actually, Kristin, I was thinking about making a compromise.
KK: Allison! I bring you back to the show and you ditch me for Tom before one episode is even done?!?!
TW: I helped get her back to!
KK: Excuse me!?!? You'd been fired!
AM: Seriously, Kristen. I think Tom has a point. The last scene of the episode shouldn't be such a downer.
TW: I'm glad you finally agree! That's exactly what I've been saying this whole time!
AM: But I'm going to need something from you to make it happen.
TW: [Cautious] Like what?
AM: Nothing big. Just you up there on stage in a wet T-shirt.
TW: So I have to show off my body in exchange for getting the scene I want? This is exactly what used to disgust you before you went on that other damn show!
AM: What can I say? Caprica changed me. We get you and Micheal in wet T-shirts and you get a final scene that doesn't make Clark look like a failure. Seems fair.
KK: Fair to who? I'm so disappointed in you, Allison! For once I thought you were going to stick to your guns and not let Tom railroad you!
TW: Railroad her? She's turned my body into a bargaining chip!
AoT: And a fine looking bargaining chip at that.
KK: Multiply what you're feeling by six years and instead of Allison imagine two unattractive middle aged men. Drooling. Now ask me why I'm not sympathetic.
TW: [Tentatively looks at the stage] Do I get to re-write it myself?
AM: It's not your episode.
TW: But you promise I'll like the scene?
AM: I promise you'll have no problem with what Clark or Chloe say in the final scene. In fact, not only will the final scene not give Clark a big guilt trip, the final scene won't even be a downer anymore.
KK: What the hell, Allison!?!? Are we talking about the same episode?
TW: It seems a little fishy.
AM: Deal or no deal?
TW: [Pause] If that's the only way to get what I want...
KK: Don't degrade yourself like this, Tom! Can't you see this is pure exploitation! Stand up to Allison, damn you!
AoT: Pipe down, Kristin. Break a leg, Tom!
[TW goes to the stage passing ED on her way back from the bar with a bunch of shots.]
ED: Where are you going?
TW: [Pissed] I need a T-shirt.
ED: [Smiles] Heh. So you're competing after all? What changed your mind?
TW: [More pissed] Don't ask.
ED: Oh. OK.
[ED reaches the table and passes out the drinks]
ED: So what finally convinced Tom to participate?
KK: [pissed] Don't ask.
ED: Bryan is finally out of the picture weren't we all supposed to be happy?
KK: The celebration was premature. [Looks at AM] Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss.
AM: [Ignoring KK] I have some news that will make you happy, Erica.
JG: They opened the wet T-shirt contest to women too?
ED: Bite me, Glover.
AM: I'm taking your advice. We're going to move the Lois and Bittleman scene to the end of the episode.
ED: Sweet! [Hugs AM] I'm so glad you're back!
KK: The only reason Erica wanted her scene last was because the Clark and Chloe scene was so depressing. You just told Tom you'd copmletely re-write it. To be happy.
AM: I told Tom I'd change the last scene. I never said I'd make changes to the last scene.
KK: But...
AM: Letter of the law Kristin. Letter of the law.
KK: So the Chloe and Clark scene...
AM: Stays exactly the same.
KK: Caprica has changed you. [smiles] I like it.
ED: So is Bittleman still going to...
AM: Insult Lois? You bet your ass he is.
ED: Fair enough. Don't mess with the Cylon Goddess, eh? But as long as Bittleman and Lois are going to be jerks to each other make sure Lois gets a few good zingers in.
AM: Consider it done.
JG: I don't get it. What exactly did Tom do to you to deserve this?
AoT: Yeah, Allison. I can understand Michael. But Tom?
AM: You remember the unauthorized behind the scenes footage of me that got out a while back?
JG: [Eyes shifting] Um... no?
AM: I finally tracked down the bastard who sold them. It turns out he was paid in tequila.
JG: [Nervous laugh] So he was paid in tequila. How does...?
AM: My brand of tequila and Tom was the only one entrusted with a key to my trailer. Considering my semi nude body wound up plastered on the cover of lad mags from Portland Maine to Anchorage Alaska against my wishes ... [pulls out a camera] ...I figure what's good for the goose is good for the gander.
[JG gulps]
KK: You are so bad.
AM: You think that's bad, wait until I figure out who posed as my publicist and gave out fake interviews.
JG: [Tugging on his collar] I must head to the men's room, ladies. I'll see you later.
[A dozen T-shirted men begin filing out onto the darkened stage]
AM: Stick around, John. I'm sure you'll appreciate my plans for this poor sap. They're especially dastardly.
JG: Especially dastardly you say? [Forced smile] Color me intrigued.
AoT: [Looking on the stage] Did you make Tom wear a superman T-shirt for the competition?
AM: A superman T-shirt? No.
KK: Then who's up there chatting with Rosenbaum?
ED: It's too dark to tell but he's way to short to be...
[The spot lights go on up on stage]
AM & KK: Bryan?
AoT: Oh my God.
ED: Gross!
KK: He must have really been packing it in since Allison tricked him.
ED: He looks pregnant!
AoT: That's it. I'm leaving before my brain has to be bleached!
JG: I'm right behind you, Annette!
KK: [grabs her purse] Me too.
ED: What about Micheal?
AM: Screw Micheal.
ED: What about Tom?
KK: Screw Tom.
AM: Screw Tom?
[KK takes a judgmental look at AM's camera]
AM: Heh, right. Let's go.
ED: Let's go?!?! What about the Party?!?!
AM: There's tequila in by trailer.
AoT: I can get the karaoke machine from the writer's room.
KK: And I'll break into Micheal's trailer for his 80's CDs.
AM: [Already headed toward the exit] Erica, don't forget the pork rinds! We'll need pork rinds!!!!
ED: I'm on it! Meet you guys there?
AM, KK JG, & AoT: [Filing out] Deal.
[As AM, AoT, JG, and KK reach the exit MR struts out on stage to "I'm too Sexy".]
MR: Hey, where's everybody going?!?!
[ED stands up and cups her hand to yell over the music.]
ED: Hey Superman!
[From up on stage BS looks in her direction, trying to see through the glare of the spot lights]
BS: Erica?
ED: You have a gigantic ass!
[ED smiles triumphantly and exits]

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