AoT's promo shoot

as retold by jwm

[AoT, JG & ED on the set of Martha's senate office. They are surrounded by half a dozen hansom young men wearing matching business suits.]
ED: Why have extras do your tag line?
JG: Because everyone is tired of waiting for your promo. We're just not going to use the pompous voice guy.
ED: I could do the tag line.
JG: And I could wear a bikini.
ED: Why? You'd look ridiculous in a bikini.
JG: There's some hidden meaning there Durance.
ED: ...
JG: Think a moment. You'll get it.
ED: I'd rather look at the interns.
JG: Or not.
[TW enters]
TW: What is all this?
AoT: Dammit! He found us!
ED: Annette's promo.
TW: Why didn't anyone tell me?
JG: Gee, I wonder.
TW: What's with all the extras?
ED: They're Martha's interns. Aren't they yummy?
JG: [Eying the interns] Almost enough to make a man consider getting into politics.
TW: You need half a dozen interns for your promo?
AoT: Watch and learn, Tom. [To the camera man] Are we ready?
Camera man (CM): Any time you are Ms. O'Toole.
AoT: Let's get started. Places, boys.
[AoT leans back in her chair and puts her legs up on the desk. The men surround her pretending to have important papers for her to see.]
CM: Annnnnnd action!
AoT: Clark isn't the only one in the family with power.
[I've got the power fires up by Snap! starts up.]
Snap!: I've got the power!
[The men circle AoT with their papers. As she stands they pull off their Velcro fastened suits revealing themselves to be Chippendales. TW's jaw drops. ED & JG grin in delight.]
Snap!: Hey! Yeah!
[The men lift AoT up into the air and carry her around to the music before stopping just in front of the camera]
AoT: My name is Martha Kent. But you can call me Senator.
Chippendales: Power up with Smallville, Thursdays on the CW.
CM: Cut!
TW: No way! There's no freaking way...
AoT: You don't like the line about power?
[The doors burst open and the robed figure of BK appears.]
BK: Fools! You don't even know the meaning of power!
AoT: [Recognizing BK as the man who threw motor oil at her] There he is boys! Get him, for Martha!
[The Chippendales rush BK but he scatters a bag of $1 bills across the room. The Chippendales scramble to pick up the bills and stuff them into their G strings.]
AoT: Damn you!
JG: Good looking, but none to bright are they?
AoT: Shut up!
BK: [Looking around] Where is he?
TW: Who?
BK: The demon!
AoT: Interns! Kill the bad man!
[The Chippendales continue to scoop up $1 bills.]
[JG notices ED scooping up $1 bills and stuffing them down her pants]
JG: What the hell are you doing, Durance!?!?
ED: Come on, John, cant you see how much fun everyone is having? Give it a try!
[JG tentatively squats to pick up a $1 bill]
AoT: I guess if you want something done right you've got to do it yourself. [Rushing BK] Die!
[BK throws motor oil and rotten eggs at AoT, this time blinding her]
AoT: Mother...
BK: I'm sorry. It was meant for the demon but a wizard must protect himself!
AoT: What demon?
TW: Whedon?
BS: [Paranoid] Do not speak it's name! Without the potion we are left unprotected. I must concoct another batch!
AoT: I gonna' kill you!
BK: Hush! You who are possessed by the demon! Once I have sent him back to hell you may return to your normal self.
AoT: I am going to hunt you down and kill you.
BK: I know you are not in control of your actions.
AoT: The hell I'm not!
BK: Do not despair! I'll be back!
[BK runs off.]
AoT: As soon as I can see. Somebody get me a towel!?!?!
[JG hands AoT a discarded suit]
ED: So, how long do you have the Chippendales booked?
AoT: Why?
ED: I was just wondering if they could pretend to be newspaper interns, you know, for the promo.
TW: The promo?!?! No way! There's no freaking way...

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