Producer Wars, Part III: Revenge

as retold by Ratman

[BS, wearing a white suit, sits on a chair in an empty room. CL1 enters with an electric shaver.]

BS: Do it.

[CL1 turns on the shaver, and approaches BS. Mozart's Requiem starts playing.]

[Cut to KK casually walking back to her trailer.]

[Cut to AoT sitting at a table, busily writing musical notes on a sheet of music paper.]

[Cut to MR walking into his trailer, smiling broadly, with a new Wii game in his hand.]

[Cut to ED coming out of her bathroom in a robe with a towel over her head.]

[Cut to AM sitting on a sofa knitting and munching pork rinds.]

[Cut to JG in a robe, walking into his bathroom.]

[Cut to TM signing an autograph on the CW lot, then looks up in surprise at something in the distance.]

[Cut back to BS and CL1, as CL1 starts completely shaving BS's head.]

[Cut to KK walking up to her trailer, with her hand on the knob.]

[Cut to AoT standing up and walking over to a guitar case.]

[Cut to MR putting the new Wii game CD into the player, and sitting on his couch with the Wii remote.]

[Cut to ED in her robe slowly walking over to a dresser, and opening it up.]

[Cut to AM putting down the pork rinds, pouring herself a shot of tequila, and drinking it.]

[Cut to JG hopping into the shower, turning it on, and stepping in.]

[Cut to TM running in slow motion toward his trailer.]

[Cut back to BS and CL1, as CL1 is now half-done shaving BS's head.]

[Cut to KK walking into her trailer, looking up in horror, and falling backward in a faint.]

[Cut to AoT opening her guitar case and looking into it, in shock.]

[Cut to MR playing his Wii, as it suddenly starts emitting smoke.]

[Cut to ED in her robe, screaming as she runs to her closet, opens the door, and reaches in.]

[Cut to AM's face souring as she stares in shock at the bottle, grabs it, and starts choking.]

[Cut to JG reaching for his shower caddy for the shampoo, but finding it empty.]

[Cut to TM still running in slow motion to his trailer, dodging various carts and crew.]

[Cut back to BS and CL1, as CL1 is now mostly done shaving BS's head, except the back.]

[Cut to KK slumped on the floor, revealing a giant poster of a naked Al and MIles with "We Love Lana" painted on their chests.]

[Cut to AoT sobbing as she lifts her guitar out of its case, all of the strings snapped.]

[Cut to MR racing out of his trailer, as a Wii console explodes out of a window.]

[Cut to ED desperately pulling dress after dress out of her closet, all maternity wear.]

[Cut to AM collapsing on the floor, then focusing on the bottle of liquor as the label peels off, revealing "Captain Morgan" underneath.]

[Cut to JG in his bathroom in a robe, dripping wet, desperately searching the medicine chest and under the sink for shampoo, finding none.]

[Cut to TM stopping in front of his trailer, the Superman symbol burning on its side, with a dozen mannequins wearing the Superman suit sitting in front.]

[Cut back to BS and CL1, with BS's head now completely shaved bald.]

BS: Thank you.

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