A little self promotion

as retold by jwm

[ED sits typing on her laptop in the break room]
ED: Then a close up and and... Wait, no, that should be bigger. [Types] Oh, No! Where'd my paragraph go?!?!
[KK & AM enter chatting with each other]
AM: Yeah, I don't know. I'd love to go to your premier but I've never played Street Fighter so...
KK: You don't have to have played the game to get the movie.
AM: Really?
ED: Undo, undo, undo. Hmm. Control U, maybe? [presses keys] Ack!
KK: Seriously.
AM: Is Michael going?
ED: Why is my whole document underlined!?!?
KK: No. He says making movies out of video games is tantamount to sacrilege.
AM: I thought he loved Tomb Raider?
ED: Bad computer! Bad computer!
KK: Apparently he's willing to make an exception for Angelina Jolie.
[MR enters with a box of pop tarts]
MR: What's that about Jolie?
KK: I said you made an exception to watch Jolie in Tomb Raider you wouldn't make for me.
MR: What she didn't mention, Allison, is it's because Angelina upped a cup size to be more in line with the game.
AM: She padded her bra?
MR: A sacrifice she was willing to make for the sake of art.
KK: I'm not padding my bra!
MR: And that's what separates you from the real pros of the industry. You have no appreciation for authenticity! You think shaving my head for seven years was a walk in the park?
[MR unplugs ED's laptop to free an outlet for the toaster]
KK: Micheal, I swear! Shaving your head is nothing like...
ED: Oh no. Why's my computer beeping?
MR: I bet you have no idea what Chun-Li's cup size really is, do you?
KK: I seriously don't...
MR: Yes or no?
[ED's computer shuts down]
ED: Dammit!
KK: What I do know is it's a just a little sick that you know the cup size of a video game character.
MR: You didn't answer the question. Stop stalling.
KK: Honestly I don't even know why I talk to you sometimes.
ED: WORK, YOU STUPID COMPUTER! WORK!
MR: Whoa, someone needs to lay off the caffeine.
ED: My computer just spontaneously shut itself off!
[KK picks up the electric cord]
KK: That's what happens when you don't have it plugged in, Einstein.
ED: But I did...
[ED spots Michael standing next to the toaster]
ED: MICHAEL!!!!!!
[The pop tarts pop up and MR grabs them]
MR: Got to go!
[AS MR juggles the hot pastries as he runs out]
MR: Owwie! Owwie! Owwie!
ED: I swear!
[AM plugs the laptop back in]
AM: Did you loose much?
ED: No. I hadn't gotten that very far anyway.
KK: I didn't know you had any episodes left to write.
ED: I'm working on the stupid promo Tom wants everyone to write. You done yours yet?
AM: Finished yesterday.
ED: [To KK] You?
KK: Lana's dead.
ED: Oh. Right.
[Awkward silence]
AM: Well good luck with that promo.
ED: Thanks.
[AM & KK move to leave.]
ED: By the way I think it's a C, maybe a D depending on the medium.
AM: What's a C?
ED: Chun-Li's bra size.
KK: Maybe Boobstein is more appropriate than we thought.
[AM elbows KK]
KK: Ow!
ED: Boobstein?
AM: It's... uh, a nickname they've given .
ED: How dare they!
AM: I know, it's really...
ED: I should have known with all the plastic surgery rumors...
AM: The what now?
ED: Boobstein? Like Frankenstein. But.. with boobs.
KK: Actually I think it's a reference to Bernstein.
ED: The investment house?
KK: Huh?
ED: They just went bankrupt! They think my career is bankrupt!?!?
AM: You mean Bear Stearns? I hate to break it to you but they're not calling Boob Stearns.
KK: That's kind of funny too, though.
[AM elbows KK]
KK: Ow! Stop that, dammit!
AM: It's from Woodward and Bernstein.
ED: Really?
AM: I know. It's...
ED: That's so sweet!
AM: It is?
ED: Combining breasts with one of the most famous reporters ever? It's brilliant! Like a Reese's cup! Too great things that go great together!
KK: Since when do famous reporters and boobs go great together?
ED: If you're talking about Lane? Of course! It's the perfect nickname for the sexist ever!
AM: I... don't think...
ED: It's iconic! I love it!
AM: ...it's supposed to be a compliment.
ED: I should sell little Boobstein bobbleheads on my website!
AM: Huh?
ED: Still, it would have been nice to have been named after the famouser one.
KK: Boobward?
AM: Famouser?
ED: Boobstein is catchier, though, isn't it?
AM: It's not a matter of catchy...
[ED closes up her laptop and stands]
ED: I have to talk to may agent!
KK: Boobstein bobbleheads?
ED: I'm going to trademark it!
AM: You can't...
ED: Allison, don't be a hater just because suddenly Chloe's breasts have a little competition in the nickname department!
[ED exits. As she leaves the room the power cord snaps out of the wall and drags behind her]
KK: Wow.
AM: Wow.
KK: So, Allison, any chance I'll be able to buy a Chloveage bobblehead off your website in the near future?
AM: Only if you make the ultimate sacrifice for authenticity and go up a cup size for your movie.
KK: So not a chance in hell, then?
AM: Nope.

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