7.01 Bizarro by AM & KK (Part I)

as retold by jwm

Clark faces off with a mirror version of himself.

[TW, AoT, and MR sit talking with KK in the writers' room. AM enters. She hands KK a script and passes a stack of scripts over for TW to hand around.]
AM: A few of us are going to be late so why don't we just get started?
AoT: We're not going to wait for everyone?
AM: They'll catch up.
AoT: [Reluctant] OK.
AM: After the "Previously on Smallville" thing open with a gray rainy evening.
KK: A line of cars drive in the pouring rain.

AM: Cut to a dark alien room. A particularly ugly creature studies a hologram of the Kryptonian symbol for power.

KK: Cut back to the rain. The cars pull over and stop. Clark gets out and opens an umbrella. He reaches his hand back into the car and takes the hand of someone getting out.
AM: As their hands touch a flash of light takes us back in time.
KK: In black and white Chloe tells Clark he must be on "cloud nine".
AM: Clark responds that he will be once he takes care of the last phantom.

KK: Back to the dark aliens. A second creature enters, "What is it you've found."
AM: "Jor-El's beacon."
KK: The second seems angry, "That's impossible."

AM: Back to the driving rain. Chloe emerges from the car with Clark's help. He holds the umbrella for the two of them. Together they walk through a grave yard followed by a small group of people.
MR: You wasted no time hitting home the point that Lana is dead, did you?
KK: Don't be so sure, Michael. It could be someone else's funeral.
MR: Yeah, right.

AM: Aliens again. The first one responds, "It's his beacon none the less." After a pause he offers hesitantly, "Perhaps the rumors were true."
AM: "That Jor-El's son survived?"
KK: A mumble of agreement.
MR: "Where?"
AM: "A back water planet half-way across the galaxy. A place hardly worth our..."
MR: The second alien, "Have you spoken to the master about this?"
AM: "No."

KK: The crowd gathers in front of a tomb stone.
AM: The minister solemnly utters the dust to dust line.
KK: Focus on Lionel and Martha standing towards the back. Lightning strikes behind them.
TW: Lionel? Isn't John off the show?
AM: He's available for this scene.
AoT: They're shooting in Vancouver, just across town.
TW: Oh, that's right! It will be good to see him.
MR: Speak for yourself!

AM: Back to the aliens. "Do not mention this to anyone. If Jor-El's son does live... the master will not be pleased. Go find out who or what is behind this."
KK: "Yes, my lord."

AM: Back to the funeral. Clark is stoic. Chloe's face is pained as she fights back tears.
TW: Chloe is going to cry at Lana's funeral? Are you sure about that? No offense, Kristen.
KK: None taken.
AoT: Lana is her best friend.
KK: Was. Was her best friend.
MR: I call bullshit! Chloe is singing on the inside! With Lana finally out of the picture for good this is her big chance to get Clark's attention.
AM: Chloe is perfectly happy with Jimmy, Michael. She and Clark are just friends. Focus on Clark and Chloe's hands.
MR: I guarantee you they hold hands!
KK: He reaches over and takes her hand in his.
MR: OK, pay up!
AoT: No one took your stupid bet, Michael.
KK: Cut to show Clark turn his head to look at Chloe. Chloe looks up at him. A tear falls down her cheek.
MR: OK, who wants to take bets they hug next?
TW: Not me.
AM: A flash of lightning introduces a brief "flashback" of Bizarro punching Clark in the face and Clark sailing through the air. Then the two of them struggling together in a stream.
KK: Next we see an image simulating being underwater and disoriented.
AM: Followed by an image of Clark trudging through knee high water.
KK: Clark looks ahead just in time to see the dam partially collapse.
AM: Bizarro's hand comes out of the water and pulls him down as water cascades down all around them.
KK: Flash forward back to Clark and Chloe. Chloe looks into Clark's eyes. More lightning brings the image of Clark talking with Lionel in the hospital. In a dreamy echoing voice Clark tells Lionel, "She's gone." Lionel hugs Clark, "There's nothing you could have done, son."
AM: Cut to Bizarro holding Clark underneath a shallow pool of water, "I'm going to take from you everything you ever loved, and there's nothing you can do." Clark struggles as he chokes underneath the water. Bizarro smiles evilly.
KK: We hear Clark's thoughts, "I failed her."
AM: Back to Clark and Chloe in the rain. Chloe turns her head away from Clark to look at the grave.
KK: Flash back to Clark sitting next to Chloe as Chloe lies in a hospital bed.
AM: Clark, "Chloe, there's something I need to tell you."
KK: Quick flash of the two of them, Chloe staring solemnly at the grave and Clark looking at Chloe. Then flash back to the hospital, Chloe in Clark's arms as she cries into his shoulder.
MR: OK, what's the deal? This obviously isn't Lana's funeral.
KK: Hey!
MR: A tear or two maybe I can take, but this? I call double bullshit!
AoT: This is Lana, Michael. She will be loved.
MR: The only saving grace is Lex isn't there balling his eyes out.
KK: Just you wait.
MR: I swear, Kreuk... If you've turned Lex into a mopey Molly.
TW: Aren't you about a season too late to start worrying about that, Rosenbaum?
AM: Cut back to Chloe and Clark at the funeral again. Slowly, almost reluctantly, Clark turns away from Chloe to look ahead as well.
KK: More lightning. Flash back to the hospital. Lionel, "She knew the dangers. We all warned her but after what Lex did... she'd become obsessed with taking him down."
AM: Clark answers, "She never should have been there in the first place! Maybe if she had known about me from the beginning... That I could have helped her..."
KK: Lionel interrupts, "She made her own choices, Clark."
AM: "This is my fault."
KK: Lionel hesitates, "I'm glad she was there."
AM: Clark looks up at Lionel, eyes full of anger.
KK: Before Clark can say something stupid Lionel continues, "She saved my life, Clark." Clark looks surprised. "And Chloe's too."
AM: Cut back to the funeral. Clark looks down. Focus on Chloe's and Clark's hands but continue with Lionel's words.
KK: "She was a fighter. And that's how she went down."
AM: Rinse and repeat, "She saved my life, Clark. And Chloe's too... and Chloe's too."
KK: A loud clap of thunder, Chloe pulls her hand away from Clark and looks away. Cut to show the two of them from behind standing before the grave.
[JG bursts in through the door]
JG: Alright, goddammit! I'm here. What did I miss?
[The cast looks at JG with surprise. MR gulps]
JG: Who the hell am I kidding?!? I don't give a crap what I missed! I don't even want to know.
[JG finds a chair next to MR and sits. He leans in towards MR]
JG: Boo!
[MR flinches and falls back. His chair collapses. JG laughs heartily. MR awkwardly gets up and rights his chair.]
JG: [Slapping MR on the shoulder] I missed you Rosenbaum!
MR: [Moving his chair across the table] Get your hands off me, you maniac!
JG: [Glances around the table] I take it Erica's not here?
AoT: Not yet.
JG: Figures she wouldn't show. [Spots the refreshment tray] Ah, cannoli!
TW: Why not?
JG: [To AM] You haven't told them?
AM: We hadn't gotten there yet. Lightning illuminates the inscription on the tombstone: "Lois Lane".
JG: [Munching on a cannoli] That's why.
TW: Lois is dead?
JG: It's worse than that. Damn bitch stole my show!

continued...