TW in AG & MM's office

MM: We've already been over this, Tom. I don't see why you keep coming in to nag us. There's nothing you can do about it.
TW: You can't do this!
AG: It's just a little experiment. If it works we'll sell it to A&E as a reality program.
TW: You're going to put it on air?
MM: And the proceeds would help keep this show in production.
AG: Season eight and beyond!
TW: Maybe not everyone wants to keep this show in production.
AG: Bite your tongue, young man.
TW: Besides, it's invasion of privacy.
MM: On the set you work for us. You have no privacy. When people start following you around outside of work then you have a complaint.
TW: I have a complaint..
[Knocking at the door]
TW: ...now!
AG: We're busy!
ED: [muffled] It's Erica! I need to talk to you guys!
MM: Not now!
TW: Is this because we wouldn't sign off of on a gag reel?
AG: That doesn't help.
ED: [muffled] Open the door! [Pounding]
TW: [Opens door for ED]
ED: Oh, thanks Tom.
AG: [Sarcastic] Yeah. Thanks, Tom.
TW: You're welcome. So, tell them what you think...
ED: You guys are going to have to make changes! Now!
TW: ...about all this behind the scenes stuff.
ED: Yeah! Why do only those four get paparazzi?
TW: Erica!
ED: I'm a star too!
MM: You're only in thirteen episodes.
ED: Speaking of which...
AG: Look, Erica, this isn't the best time.
ED: I'm not going to stand for any more of this Lois Lane works at a tabloid bullshit!
MM: Excuse me?
ED: That's right. People are going to start taking Lois and me seriously around here, starting with you.
AG: Ha!
ED: I demand you put Lois at the Planet.
TW: But Erica, haven't you heard...?
ED: Stay out of this Tom!
TW: But...
ED: I said stay out of this!
TW: Fine. [To MM] This isn't the last you've heard about this from me! [exits]
ED: Now that you can devote you attention to me.
MM: Look, Erica, have you seen Allison?
ED: Oh no you don't! You're going to listen to what I have to say!
AG: She hasn't returned our calls...
ED: If you don't start making Lois look competent I'm out!
[A couple of moments of silence. Then MM starts to giggle]
ED: What's so funny?
MM: You're out? That's a laugh.
AG: Your whole image is based on being Lois Lane of Smallville.
ED: It is not!
MM: Face it, without us you're nothing.
ED: That's not true. I have other options. Speaking of which -- not only are you going to treat Lois right this season you're going to have to adjust to my schedule.
AG: Now hold on a second...
ED: I have it on good authority I've either got the lead of Barbarella...
MM: Booberella?
ED: ...or as the next Bond girl.
AG: You're going to draw nasty cartoons about us?
ED: So I need Lois to be in the first five episodes and last eight...
MM: I like those cartoons...
ED: So I can film!
AG: No deal.
ED: I... I'll.... I'll leave the show!
MM: OK.
ED: [Edging towards the door] Here's me leaving!
AG: Here's us saying goodbye!
ED: You can't replace me!
MM: If you say so.
ED: Have I mentioned I have an offer for a series on CBS?
AG: Good for you.
ED: And... and I'm going to take it if you don't promise to make Lois look good.
MM: Have fun, Erica.
ED: You're... um... you're not going to stop me?
AG: It looks like you've made up you're mind.
MM: Bye.
ED: [Hesitantly leaving] Bye. [Shuts the door.]
[Outside AM is waiting]
AM: How'd it go?
ED: Not well.
AM: What do you mean?
ED: I tried. They aren't going to make Lois look good. [Reaches for the door] I'm going to tell them I changed my mind.
[Back inside the office]
AG: She'll be back.
MM: You think she really has an offer?
AG: Maybe. But we have an agreement with CBS. They can't poach more than one of our actors.
MM: And since we didn't really want JG around anyway...
AG: So how much are we going to make her beg?
MM: I don't know. But after that little display we definitely need to make sure Lois has another stint as a stripper.
[Back outside the office]
AM: [Grabs ED's hand] No. They're playing hard ball. They don't think you're really going to do it.
ED: I wasn't really going to do it.
AM: You need to go to CBS.
ED: I think they already gave the part out! I'm so screwed.
AM: [Taking ED by the head and looking into her eyes.] You are not screwed, Erica. Calm down. I'll guide you through this. Call CBS. When Al and Miles find out they'll get nervous and cave into your demands.
ED: What if they don't?
AM: Well you can still be a Bond girl or Booberella...
ED: Barbarella.
AM: Whatever. And who knows. You might wind up at CBS.
ED: I don't want to leave you guys.
AM: They're shooting here in Vancouver too. We'll still see each other.
ED: Yeah, but I heard that Brannon...
AM: That's just a rumor.
ED: What if it's true?
AM: That Brannon and Rick are going to produce the show?
ED: Yeah.
AM: You don't mind wearing tight spandex outfits. I don't see what the big deal would be.

Next