An Impromptu Interview with CV!KK

Another in a series of fictional interviews.

[KK storms out of the writing room and sees me drinking some coffee and talking with Phantomchic]

KK: You. Interview. Now.

Maniac64: *gulp* Um okay. Did something happen in there? [KK just glares back at the door] Are you sure you don’t want until you’ve calmed down a little?

KK: NOW!

M: *leaping to my feet* okay okay I’m coming. [we go off a little ways to sit down]

KK: Okay now ask your question.

M: But I don’t even know what’s going on? What am I supposed to be asking about?

KK: What do you think.

M: [getting more nervous] Um…is something wrong with the first episode?

KK: Allison Mack screwed me over that’s what went wrong!

M: She what? How?

KK: She brought Lana back to life! She brought her back in an episode I was supposed to be co-writing and she didn’t even tell me!

M: Wait, Lana’s back? I thought you said…

KK: I know what I said damn it! And I meant it, and you know what?! She’s going to pay for this.

M: Your not going to hurt me like JG would, are you?

KK: The only one I’m going to hurt is Mack. For her there is going to be hell to pay. So I’m giving an apology right now to all the Chloe fans out there for what I’m going to do to that character.

M: Oh my.

KK: [spotting MR coming out of the writer’s room] Michael! Get over here!

MR: [walking slowly and warily] Uh hi Kristen. You know I had nothing to do with Lana coming back right?

KK: I know that you idiot. Now you don’t like how Allison wrote Lex this episode right?

MR: Uh KK. Didn’t you help right all of that?

KK: Oh please, I didn’t care about anything. Allison basically wrote the whole episode, I just gave my opinions here and there. Besides, Allison will keep writing him like that, while I’m willing to be on your side.

MR: All right, I’m listening.

KK: I’m just saying. You’d like to get a little revenge on her for all the stuff she’s done to Lex and for causing the last season and all of its horrible storylines right?

MR: [warily] I guess so.

KK: Listen Michael. You’re either with me or against me, so I’m going to need a little more than “I guess so”.

MR: [nodding quickly] I’m with you, I’m totally with you. Whatever you say.

KK: Much better.

MR: [really getting into it] You and me versus Allison. We’ll make her pay for what she’s done. Death to Allison Mack!

KK: Okay Michael, that’s enough.

MR: Huh? Oh sorry. So did you have something in mind?

KK: I might have a few ideas. Come on, let’s talk someplace more…private. [They start to walk off]

M: Um so is that it for the interview?

KK: What? Oh yeah the interview. Uh…oh I’ve got one more thing. I am officially declaring that the co-writer on my first episode will be John Glover. [KK turns and starts walking again]

M: John Glover, got it. [looks again] Kristen Kreuk and John Glover. Oh God.

MR: [walking down the hall with KK] John? Seriously?! You want to write with him? The guy’s insane!

KK: No, the guy is pissed. Just like me.

MR: [suddenly nervous again] Oh. Right.

[KK and MR turn the corner and are out of hearing distance. AoT walks out followed by AM who is talking with TW.]

TW: So you don't think that went bad?

AM: Not really. I mean I know it was bad, but honestly? I was expecting worse. She didn't even attack me.

M: You were expecting worse?

AM: What? Um, who are you again?

M: Maniac64. I'm one of the people following Kristen. I also just finished an interview with her.

AM: Really? What did she say?

M: Mostly that she's pissed at you for bringing Lana back and that she is going to make you pay.

AM: [looking a little nervous] I'm not worried. I mean it's only Kristen, she couldn't do that much harm right? [looking pleadingly at TW].

M: Oh, and did I mention that she and Michael just left to go plot against you?

AM: [looking nervously at me] Kristen and Michael? [swallowing nervously] Okay, that is worse. Anything else?

M: Let's see...Oh yeah. She announced that John will be co-writing her first episode.

AM: [absolutely terrified] John and Kristen! Oh God. [to TW] What have I done?

TW: I'm sure it won't be anything that bad. I mean John doesn't really have anything against you, at least not more than anyone else. Right? [AM looks around guility] What did you do?

AM: You don't want to know.

TW: Wait. [shocked realization] You didn't?

AM: I did.

TW: Oh man.

AM: I am so dead. [AM goes running down the hall after KK and MR shouting.] Wait! Kristen I’m sorry! I’m really really sorry! [TW shakes his head and walks off, JG walks out of the writer's room reading the script and looking very upset.]

JG: I can't believe I'm back on this show. This is a travesty. It's completely unacceptable!
M: Um, excuse me. Mr. Glover?

JG: What!?! Oh great, another of you reporters. Do I need to stick you in a dumpster too?

M: [terrified] Please don't. I just wanted to tell you that Kristen announced that she would like you to be the co-writer on her first episode.

JG: [a grin appears on his face] Really? [I nod nervously] Do you know where she is now?

M: Um...she left a little bit ago with Michael in order to plot against Allison.

JG: Michael and Kristen are plotting against Allison? Hmm...maybe this whole fiasco won't be quite as bad as I thought.

M: [Watching JG walk off] Oh man. This is going to be bad.

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