7.06 Consequences by KK & JG (Part IX)

as retold by Maniac and PhantomChic

JG: Everybody starts to get up and is looking around confused. Clark spots Hope picking up the piece of kryptonite off the floor. He grabs Chloe and super speeds out of the room.
TW: Wouldn’t somebody see that?
JG: Lex is still staring at Lana’s body and Hope is looking the other way.
TW: So to them Clark and Chloe just disappear?
AoT: After everything else that just happened do you really think that will seem all that crazy?
TW: Good point.
KK: Hope walks over to Lex and they talk about how they have no memory of what just happened. Lex assumes it was Kal-El.
ED: So they don’t even remember all that?
KK: Nothing from the moment Chloe enters till after Sex mind-wiped them.
MR: And that’s why Sex is awesome.
AoT: I can think of a few other reasons.
TW: Can we please not.
KK: Sure Tom. Lex hears Kahloe’s voice: “C’mon Lex, you know what happened.” He looks up and see her leaning in the door frame. “One minute you’re having a surprisingly cordial chat with Lana and the next she’s dead and this place looks like a twister came through. It was Kal-El. Who else could cause this much damage so quickly.”
JG: “Kal-El. But why would he come here?”
KK: “Look at your computer, Lex. Someone has accessed it.” Lex looks at the backwards monitor, the display showing something that should have been deeply encrypted. Hope follows his gaze.
JG: “He must have been after our weapon’s research.”
KK: Hope: “I’ll have all the security protocols changed, Mr. Luthor.”
JG: “But why kill Lana?”
KK: Kahloe shrugs “Maybe he was jealous or just wanted to hurt you. Or maybe it was accident. Whatever the reason, the outcome is the same.”
JG: “Kal-El murdered Lana.”
AM: I wish.
TW: Hey!
KK: We then cut to Clark stopping on an empty road and setting Chloe down.
JG: They too have no memory of what happened, but Clark assumes it was Lex’s fault.
MR: Of course.
TW: Cause Kal-El is so much more probable of an excuse.
KK: Clark can’t believe that Lana is dead.
JG: Chloe talks about how horrible it is to lose her mother and best friend in one day.
KK: Both of which are, of course, her own fault. Not that she remembers killing Lana.
AM: Best Friend!
TW: Seriously, Clark is her best friend.
KK: Yeah, sure Tom. You wish.
MR: Don’t forget her boyfriend is dead too.
KK: She doesn’t know about that yet.
ED: Man, it really sucks to be Chloe.
AM: You have no idea.
JG: The scene ends with Clark looking sadly at Chloe who is staring at the sunset.
TW: Scene? You mean the episode isn’t over yet?
AoT: Like this episode is going to end on Clark and Chloe.
JG: We cut to Lionel’s goon from earlier who is soaking the gloves in bleach and then burning them.
KK: We then cut to him getting out of his car in front of an ally full of stoned guys. He hands them a brown paper bag, while still wearing gloves of course.
JG: As he drives away we see the stoners pulling the hat and coat out of the bag. Followed by the gun and Jimmy’s wallet.
TW: Did he just give a bunch of stoners a loaded gun?
KK: He’s evil. What the hell does he care?
JG: Besides, he’s making sure that when the cops investigate they’ll think these guys did it.
MR: Won’t they be able to identify the goon though?
KK: They’re stoned. They won’t even remember that someone gave the bag to them, let alone what he looked like.
JG: This goon is getting away scott-free. Which means Lionel is too.
KK: Speaking of which, we go back to the goon who is on his phone. We hear him say “It’s all cleaned up, Sir.”
JG: And we cut to Lionel on the other end of the call. He is grinning and hangs up before walking back into Martha’s office.
KK: He apologizes to Martha and they go back to discussing the bill. Martha ironically talks about how these mutants can use their powers for good.
JG: Lionel counters with how they can be used for evil too. He brings up the idea of making a team of meteor freaks to help police and protect people from the ones who would do harm. He tells her to think about whom she’s protecting.
KK: She puts the bill in a drawer and Lionel walks off seeming satisfied.
JG: After he leaves she pulls out the bill again and stares at it before resolutely picking up a pen.
KK: And go to credits.
TW: I can’t believe this episode is ending with a Lionel and Martha scene.
KK+JG+AoT: Believe it.
AoT: Besides, not counting the teaser that’s how the episode began. Therefore it makes sense to end it there too.
ED: Whatever. I’m just glad that it’s over.
MR: What are you talking about? I love this episode, especially my scenes.
AM: This episode sucks.
MR: Look on the bright side Allison. You got to kill Lana! Do you know how much I wanted Lex to be the one to do that?
AM: [glares at MR]
MR: I’ll stop now.
KK: Well that was fun.
JG: I couldn’t agree more.
[KK and JG get up and walk off smiling]
AM: Are you sure you guys won’t veto this episode?
[MR & AOT look at each other, laugh, and walk out.]
AM: [running out after everyone] You know Al and Miles will never let you get away with all this!
[JG and KK stop, turn around, and then start laughing]
KK: We’ll see Mack. We’ll see.
[KK and JG leave still laughing]

The End.


Castville 7.06 Extra: SEX HAMLET SPEECH

Alas, poor Lana! I knew her, Chloe – a girl of infinite selfishness, of most egocentric manipulations. She hath bored me with her tears a thousand times, and now how abhorred in my imagination it is. My gorge rises at it. Here hung those lips that whined I know not how oft. Where be your entitlement now? Your demands? Your pedestal? Your flashes of self-righteousness that were wont to set the town at your feet? Not one now to cry over her pancaked parents? Quite boyfriendless? Now get you to my lady’s chamber and tell her, let her decry secrets and lies for years, to this favor she must come. Make her laugh at that.
(Parodies Hamlet V:i lines 190-201)


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