[Al & Miles office.]
AG: I can't believe it!
MM: I can't believe it either!
[AM bursts in.]
AM: You're not going to believe this!
AM & MM: They...
[pause]
AM & AG: She...
[pause]
MM: You go first Allison. Your news can't be any worse than ours.
AM: The hell it can't! They killed Moira!
AG: Who?
AM: Chloe's mom! Kristen killed off Moira!
MM: Wasn't she already dead?
AM: No, you idiot! She was in a coma! They gave you a fake script! The real one is the worst possible episode of Smallville you can possibly imagine!
AG: It's just Chloe's mom.
AM: They killed off Jimmy too!
MM: Jimmy? I kind of liked Jimmy.
AM: So you'll make them change it, right? I think we should make them film the episode they turned in!
AG: I don't think that's going to happen, Allison.
AM: What?
MM: That's not going to happen. I think they're going to get what they want.
AM: They can't!
AG: Unfortunately they can.
AM: But... but...
[MM & AM at the same time]
AM: Kristen killed Lana.
MM: Dawn fired us.
AM & MM & AG: What!?!?!
[Cut to Dawn Ostroff's office.]
DO: I know the Smallville set has a bad reputation but I'm sure they'll welcome you with open arms. To have you at the helm our show... well I'm sure it's just about any Superman fan's dream...
[Al & Miles office. AM looks around at the half packed boxes. AG & MM look over at their poster of Lana.]
[AG & MM & AM at the same time]
AM: You were fired!?!!?
AG & MM: They killed Lana!?!?
AM & MM & AG: This is terrible!!!!
AG: That is the worst possible episode of Smallville I could imagine!
[Cut to DO's office.]
DO: Now remember, while the official story is your predecessors were booted because they got the show sued... again... only you know the true story. Let's try to keep it that way.
[Al & Miles office.]
AM & MM & AG: We have to fix this!!!!
AG: Maybe she's not really dead. She can come back next episode!
AM: Oh, she's dead.
MM: So they found the body?
AM: Um... yeah. Both pieces.
AG: [weeping] They cut Lana in half?
MM: [weeping] How could that happen?
AM: Chloe... um... chopped Lana's head off.
MM: Oh, I knew Chloe was trouble.
AG: What a bitch!
AM: Hello, guys! Focus here. The writers did this.
MM: Right, right.
AG: What are we going to do?
JG: [from the doorway] There's nothing you can do.
[Cut to DO's office.]
DO: While I honestly don't know how the legal action is going to shake out... Mr. Moore actually has a pretty good case against us... based on your reputation I'm sure you'll have everything else all under control soon enough.
[Al & Miles office.]
AG: John, how could you do this to us?
JG: How could I do this to you? You cost me my job. So I cost you yours.
MM: Wait, we didn't cost you your job.
AM: What are you talking about, John?
JG: I'm talking about Father Knows Best!
AG: [Nervous] Heh. We didn't get that show cancelled.
JG: Curious. I never said you did.
AM: You got Erica's show cancelled?!?
JG: That's my show, Allison!
MM: [Nervous too] We just, you know, offered some creative input.
JG: [Angry] You claimed it was your intellectual property and then forced them to add some Mary Sue girl next door named Donna for everyone to fall in love with!
AM: Donna?
AG: That's exactly what the show was missing... [MM smacks AG] OW!
MM: Shut up, Al.
AM: But... how did that get the show cancelled?
JG: Well Erica didn't think it was so bad but all of Ron's old people... they'd been on a good show before. All the hard work it took to recruit them... down the toilet. The minute they got a hold of the first episode with Donna they all quit and went back to Battlestar Galactica.
AM: So that's what happened!
MM: But why get us fired? You weren't even on the show.
JG: You were supposed to screw it up just enough for them to beg me back on to save it... not ruin it completely!!!!
AM: So wait. What?
JG: Never mind, Allison. Be thankful I didn't let Kristen kill off Chloe.
AM: Forgive me for forgetting to thank you for that. I was a little distracted by the fact you and Kristin turned Chloe into a killer!
MM: [Sobs]
AG: Noooo! Laaaannnnaaaa!
AM: You two killed Moira and Jimmy!
MM: [Sobs louder]
AG: Laaaannnnnaaaaa!!!
JG: You don't you want Chloe dead, do you?
AM: The hell with it, and the hell with you! Just remember who is writing the next episode, John.
JG: [Scoffs] Are you threatening me?
[DO's office. Reveal she's been talking with Bryan Singer]
BS: Don't worry Dawn. I have a lot of changes in mind.
AM: [Pushes over one of Al's boxes. Hundreds of stock photos of KK spill out.] I don't give a crap what you think! I don't give a crap about any of this anymore!
JG: [Stops laughing] Allison...
AM: [Moves towards the door] I am tired of playing Mary Fucking Sunshine with a bunch of shelfish inconsiderate jerks! I have had it with all of you assholes! [Stops, looks at giant poster of Lana. Voice drops to a growl.] And most of all, I have had it with her! [Tears down Lana poster.]
MM: Nooooo!
AG: Laaannnnaaaa!
AM: There's a new Allison Mack in town! [Crumples up the poster and throws it to the ground. AG and MM fall to their knees in front of it.] And heads are going to roll! [Storms out of the office]
MM: Poor Lana!
JG: Wait, Allison!
[No response. JG takes out his phone and dials]
JG: Hello, Kristen? Yeah, it's John. You might want to lock your door.
[A loud crash is heard out in the hallway and AM cursing. A male voice shouts "Stop! This locker is off limits." Then the sound of a taser and a man screaming]
JG: And barricade it.
[More cursing from the hall.]
JG: Is there a problem? Heh. You could say that.
MM: [Smoothing out the poster] It's OK Lana. It's going to be OK. I'm here for you.
JG: Yeah. It's Allison. She snapped.
AG: You'll always live on in our dreams.
JG: Funny? Heh. Well it's your funeral... She just tasered the guy guarding the weapons locker.
MM: [Tears in his eys, MM lifts the wrinkled poster and places it back on the wall.] It's going to be OK.
JG: Hello? Kristen? [Hangs up]
[There's another loud crash in the hallway followed by random screams.]
JG: [Shuts the door and locks it.] You don't mind if I wait in here until she calms down do you?
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