Heart of Dorkiness (Part IV)

as retold by RepairmanBob & jwm

[BS is watching Superman the Motion Picture on a 114” high definition television. He is mouthing all the lines.]
AoT: Hello, Bryan. I was hoping we could have a – oh, my.
BS: [Runs over, shakes AoT’s hand] Annette! Great to met you! I am so happy we finally get to talk! Is it true you meet Chris Reeves?
AoT: Well, not to brag, but Chris and I worked together. He was a wonderful man.
BS: Did you know he played Superman!?!? What a terrific man! What did you work on with him?
AoT: [Looks shocked] Superman 3.
BS: Superman 3?
AoT: Evil Superman, Richard Pryor, super computer.
BS: Never heard of it. Did Richard Donner make it?
AoT: Sadly, no.
BS: Oh, well. It is still great you met Chris Reeves! Hey, do you want to watch Superman with me?
AoT: Maybe later. I wanted to talk to you about Martha.
BS: Great! I am so happy to talk about Martha! She has a central role to Clark’s development!
AoT: I completely agree.
BS: The role of the mother on Clark, the ultimate orphan, is central to what makes him Superman! It is a vital role!
AoT: I am overjoyed you feel that way. Now, this season –
BS: Clark’s mom, on the farm! Making pie and keeping the stove warm!
AoT: I am sorry, what?
BS: Representing Middle American values! The mom at home! The Virgin Mary figure, waiting for her son!
AoT: I wouldn't call Martha a virgin by any means.
BS: I had Martha waiting for Clark in my movie! She waited for her son to come back to earth! It was just like the Bible!
AoT: I am not sure if I should be amused or offended by that statement.
BS: So, I think Martha will be great! How do you feel about making pies? Love pies! [Yells out the door] I want a cherry pie! And some ice cream! [to AoT] I hear Clark on Smallville loves pie too! Isn't it great that I have something like that in common with Superman?
AoT: [Cracks knuckles] Bryan, I think we have some different ideas about Martha’s character.
BS: [Frowns] But in the Superman movies –
AoT: I have an idea, Bryan, How about we spar for it? I can show you some of the ideas I have for Martha, and we can see if that helps… motivate you to change your mind.
BS: Well, I am not sure. I mean, I wouldn’t want to hurt you. When people get hurt, they go to the hospital, and it is sad. Did you know I make a TV show about a hospital? House! On Fox!
AoT: [Slight smile] Oh, I am sure you can hold back on little old me.
BS: OK. I'll only do the classic Superman moves.
[AoT and BS circle each other. AoT throws a few strikes, which BS dodges.]
BS: Wow! You are fast! I bet you have had some training!
AoT: You have no idea.
[AoT tries to grab BS. He ducks, then lifts her over his head.]
BS: I call this move "Action comics #1"! [BS throws AoT to the floor.]
AoT: [Struggles to her feet.]
BS: [BS Picks AoT up] Remember when Superman caught the daily planet? [He drops her] That move is called dropping the planet!
AoT: Ow!
BS: Sorry. Are you OK? I didn't even get to show you the little number Superman did to those missiles in the movie!
AoT: [In a daze, waves BS off] I think… I think… we have sparred enough for today.
BS: Are you sue? I love re-enacting Superman movies! It is so much fun! I didn't get to disable the mi
AoT: [Staggers out, holding her head] How nice for you.
BS: Except when I have to be Lex. I hate being Lex.
AoT: Maybe you can be Lex this time?
BS: Heh. No way. I hate being Lex. I'll only play if I'm Superman!
AoT: Great.
BS: Thanks for coming by, Annette! [Yells out door] Where is my pie? Get me some pie! And candy bars!

Next