Heart of Dorkiness (Part V)

[BS in his office re-arranging his Superman display.]
BS: That Annette is a nice lady... and lucky too! She got to play Superman's former love interest and mother.
[pause]
BS: That's kind of creepy when I think about it.
[JG bursts in waving his dart gun]
JG: Singer!
BS: Whoa! Hey, John, what's up? [Holds up a Superman and a Zod doll.] Want to play?
JG: No, I don't want to play!
BS: [Sad] Oh.
JG: It's Allison's changes to the script! I'm not letting them happen!
BS: It's true what Michael said about you. You do get kind of wild and scary!
JG: You're changing it back!
BS: Jimmy has to be alive! He's in the movies. How can Jimmy be in the movies if he dies in the Young Superman show?
[JG aims the gun]
JG: I don't give a damn. You're changing it.
BS: You are scary! You remind me of Zod! [Kneels] Did you know Zod was in the second Superman movie? I feel like I'm kneeling before Zod!
JG: I don't give a damn what movie Zod was in! Jimmy stays dead! You hear me?
BS: Of course, I hear you! I'm kneeling before you, just like Superman did when he lost his powers. I surrender to you, oh great and mighty Zod. [bows his head]
JG: Damn straight! But call me magnificent bastard.
BS: I surrender to you, oh great and mighty magnificenent bastard.
JG: Heh. Now that's more like it! And to think I was worried what a change in management might be like.
BS: Now I'm supposed to take your hand.
JG: What?
BS: Like in the movie. It's a sign of submission.
JG: Heh. I like you, Singer. [Extends his hand.] As long as we understand who's boss.
BS: Of course. [Takes JG's hand and starts squeezing]
JG: Aaaaiiiieeee! [BS stands as his iron grip forces JG to his knees. JG tries to aim the dart gun but ends up dropping it.]
BS: Wow! It's almost as exhilarating in real life as in the movie!
JG: Let go of my hand you damn maniac!
BS: [Lets go and picks up the dart gun and makes the Superman hands on hips pose.] Let that be a lesson to you that as long as Superman is around evil will never triumph over good!
JG: [Nursing his hand as he stands] Where did you get that grip?
BS: I love Superman! I want to be just like him!
JG: That doesn't explain...
BS: So I do lots of weight lifting.
JG: [Shaking his hand to get the blood flowing again] I see.
BS: Sorry, John. You gave it a good shot but Jimmy stays alive.
JG: That's not my problem. My problem is Lionel needs to have a competent minion!
BS: Why?
JG: [Flabbergasted] Why? What do you mean why?
BS: In the movies...
JG: I don't care about the movies!
BS: Lex always has incompetent minions. Take Otis!
JG: I don't want Otis!
BS: I love Otis. He is funny!
JG: This isn't the movies!
BS: I want this show just like the movies. Because I love Superman. [Looks down] Oh! And shinny pennies! [Bends down to get the penny]
JG: Fuck the movies!
BS: [Stands without getting the penny. His jaw tightens] What?
JG: Lionel needs a competent...
[BS shoots JG with the dart gun. JG grabs his neck]
JG: ...minion.
[JG collapses to the ground]
BS: I don't care who you are, you do not utter such sacrilege against Donner and his movies. [Yelling out the office.] Where's my pie!?!? Did I mention I wanted it a la mode?!?!? Superman flavor! [pause] And send someone to show Mr. Glover back to his trailer!

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