7.15 Masquerade by KK & MR (Part I)

as retold by Maniac64 & PhantomChic

[KK and MR enter the writer's room and hand out scripts]
TW: It's about time; we were starting to wonder if you guys were ever going to bring us the next episode.
MR: Blame Kristin.
ED: You better not have messed this up any more.
[MR looks around nervously at the angry cast]
AoT: So what delayed you so long Kristin?
KK: Well I had this quick interview with a couple of those people from TWoP and it made me think about some things. So I decided to go join the Writer's Strike.
MR: And she dragged me along.
ED: So that's where you disappeared to.
JG: I wouldn't think the writers would be too happy to see you, since you're basically a scab writer and all.
KK: Well they weren't at first. But when they heard that we were refusing to write our next episode until after the strike was over they warmed up to us.
TW: But why would you want to go to the strike anyway?
KK: Well that's the thing. I've decided to try and join the guild.
AoT: The writer's guild?
KK: Yep.
ED: Why would you want to do that?
KK: Are you kidding me? What, is Allison the only one allowed to look for a better job?!
TW: But isn't becoming a writer a little more than just looking for a better role to play?
KK: Well I tried just looking for other work as an actress, and do you know what I got? [KK suddenly gets really angry] Well, do you? Anyone? [MR tentatively raises his hand] Go ahead, tell them Michael. Tell them my great new role that I scored.
MR: She's playing Chun-Li in the new Street Fighter movie.
JG: She's playing who in the what now?
KK: I'm playing some stupid girl in a movie based on a stupid video game!
MR: Hey! The Street Fighter series is classic!
KK: [ignoring MR] It's not even a game with a real plot like those Resident Evil's, its some game where the only point is to have to people beat the crap out of each other.
MR: It's a great game!
KK: [still ignoring MR] And what's my character in this movie? Some Asian martial artist chick whose nickname is "Thunder Thighs".
[JG bursts out laughing and tries to stop himself when KK glares at him]
MR: Chun-Li is awesome!
AoT: [trying to keep a straight face] No offense Kristin, but I never imagined you having a nickname like that.
KK: Thanks a lot Annette. Anyway, you guys see my problem right? I'm going from a crappy TV show based on a comic book to a crappy movie based on a video game. My career sucks!
TW: So you're going to become a writer in order to get away from it.
KK: Damn straight. Those TWoP guys made me realize that I've been enjoying writing more than acting anyway. Plus, this way I can make sure no young actress ever has to play crappy roles like mine again.
AoT: So are they going to let you in?
KK: They're talking it over. I can't join until the end of the season anyway, since I'm contractually obligated to work here, and I wouldn't be allowed to as a Guild member.
JG: Wait, so if you get in the guild you won't have to work here anymore.
KK: [smiling] Nope. [trying to look innocent] Not that that was part of my reasoning or anything.
TW: Right…
JG: I need to join the Writer's Guild!
AoT: That's exactly what I was thinking.
ED: You guys would give up Smallville?
[Everyone just stares at ED]
JG: You're kidding right?
KK: Anyway, can we get to the episode now?
JG: Just one thing first. You didn't forget about our deal in all this time did you?
KK: Of course not, John. You have the episode off.
TW, ED, & AoT: What?
MR: Lionel's not appearing in this episode. John wanted some time off and we didn't really need him.
TW: And what exactly was your part of this deal John?
MR: Well…[KK covers MR's mouth]
KK: We prefer to keep the terms of our deal private.
TW: Great. Just please tell me I'm not going to wear the suit?
ED: And that I'm not pregnant!
KK: This is my episode, not Brian's.
MR: And when he gets pissed it's going to be on your head.
KK: Don't worry about it Michael.
TW: You never really answered the questions Kristin.
KK: Didn't I? Oh well, let's get started.
JG: [standing up] Since I'm not in this episode, I think I'm going to start my vacation now.
KK: Fine with me.
MR: [smirking] See ya John!
JG: [stopping and staring at Michael] What did you do?
MR: [trying to look innocent but still smirking] What are you talking about?
JG: [sitting back down] Maybe I'll stay here for the reading after all.
KK: Suit yourself.

continued...