Smallville Twist (One Horrid Plan)

[MR's trailer. MR and BS compete at Guitar Hero on the Wii. BS defeats MR once again.]

MR: Bryan, you rock.
BS: Speaking of rocking. Let's go visit Kreuk. I have an idea for the show. Our greatest twist yet!
[Cue Bowie's "Modern Love"]

BS: [Moving for the door]I know when to go out
MR: [MR catches BS by the arm]I know when to stay in
BS: Get things done

BS: Let's shake things up, my boy!
BS: Let's really make a change!
BS: An unpredictable end.
MR: May I ask why?

BS: Let's just try, let's try

MR: Don't complicate my life!
BS: Oh, what could be the harm?
MR: I've seen enough of pain.
BS: You should never ask me why. Let's just try, let's try

MR: I'm not sure we should go for
BS: Smallville twist - listen to me.
MR: Smallville twist? Just leave things be.
BS: Smallville twist! What if Lana Lang's alive?
MR: Lang alive? Terrifies me!
BS: Lang alive! Makes me party!
MR: Lang alive... is one horrid plan!
BS: Horrid plan? It's pure brilliance!
MR: Horrid plan! I'm to young to die!
BS: Horrid plan? It's just a Smallville twist!

MR: This will never work!
BS: What could be the harm?
MR: I'll leave you blowing in the wind. [MR tries to walk off]
BS: [Grabbing hold of MR] You can't wave bye bye. Oh let's try, let's try!

MR: She's never gonna go for
BS: Smallville twist - listen to me.
MR: Smallville twist? - Do you want to die?
BS: Smallville twist - What if Lana Lang's alive?
MR: Lang alive - Terrifies me!
BS: Lang alive! Makes me party!
MR: Lang alive... is one horrid plan!
BS: Horrid plan? It's pure brilliance!
MR: Horrid plan - I don't want to die!
BS: Horrid plan? It's just a Smallville twist! Smallville twist - listen to me.
MR: Smallville twist? - Do you want to die?
BS: Smallville twist - What if Lana Lang's alive?
MR: Lang alive - Terrifies me!
BS: Lang alive! Makes me party!
MR: Lang alive... is one horrid plan!
BS: Horrid plan? It's pure brilliance!
MR: Horrid plan - I don't want to die!
BS: Horrid plan? It's just a Smallville twist!

BS: Smallville twist, Smallville twist, Smallville twist, Smallville twist, Smallville twist, Smallville twist
BS: Smallville twist, Smallville twist, Smallville twist, Smallville twist, Smallville twist, Smallville twist

BS: [Pulling MR along on the way to KK's trailer]Smallville twist - Smallville twist, walk beside me.
MR: Smallville twist - Smallville twist, we're gonna die!
BS: Smallville twist - Smallville twist, walk beside me.
MR: Smallville twist - Smallville twist, we're gonna die!

[BS knocks on KK's door. She opens it.]
KK: Yes?
BS: Michael and I have an idea we want to run by you.
MR: It's not...
BS: Hush, Michael. May we come in?
KK: An idea, huh? [Looks to MR] Am I going to like it? [MR shakes his head wildly.]
BS: [Pushing into KK's trailer] You're going to love it!
[MR tries to run but BS pulls MR in with him. The door shuts behind them. From outside there's a moment of silence.]
KK: [Heard from outside the trailer] No!!! Freaking!!! Way!!!
[There's the sound of a gunshot and a hole appears in KK's trailer door. The door flies open and BS runs out followed closely by MR. They run behind a few bushes and hide.]
BS: That crazy bitch shot at us!!!!
MR: Yeah!
BS: Why didn't you warn me about her, Michael!?!
MR: [Incredulous] Warn you!?!?!? I told you she'd kill us!!!
KK: And you were right.
[MR turns to find he's staring down the barrel of a shot gun.]
MR: [Raising his hands in the air] Kristin, please! You've got to believe me...
KK: I believe you've screwed things up for the last time. [KK aims and slowly squeezes the trigger. BAM!!!]

[MR's trailer. MR sits up terrified in his bed.]
MR: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
[BAM!! BAM! BAM! as BS knocks on MR's door.]
BS: Michael, are you OK?
MR: [Opens the door with a sheet wrapped around him. He's out of breath and covered in sweat.] Bryan? What are you doing here!?!?
BS: [Entering the trailer] I couldn't sleep. I had this great idea for the show and I wanted to run it by you!
MR: [Heading back to the bed room.] No! No way! You know the way out.
BS: But you'll love it! [Notices the Masquerade script laying on MR's table]
MR: Look, I'm out, OK? No more Bowie as Darkseid. No more Lois is pregnant. No more Clark in the suit. No more Lana alive. I'm through with it. It's over. [MR goes into his bedroom and closes the door.]
BS: Lana alive? [Shakes his head] Why would I want to do that?
[BS picks up the script. As he flips through he grows increasingly angry. When he finally gets to the end BS is red faced. He throws the script to the floor in disgust.]
BS: That rotten bitch!
[pauses]
BS: Lana alive, huh? That'll show Kreuk. [Shouting toward MR's bedroom] Michael, you're absolutely brilliant! I can't wait to tell her. Hell, and can't wait to tell everyone. I'll see you at the meeting tomorrow! [He picks the script back up and exits]
MR: [Opening his door back up] I'm sorry, what? [Noticing BS has left] Oh well. I guess it wasn't that important. [Goes back into the bedroom. Slight smile to himself] It's going to be nice to be back on every body's good side again.

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