Control Intermission (Dancing in the street)

[The cast all get up and have a group hug with AM. TW enters the room but no one notices]
TW: ...and I'm here too.
ED: [Moves to hug TW] Oh, Tom, we missed you as well.
BR: [standing] What the hell's going on!?!?
[BS can be heard sobbing. BR edges toward the exit.]
AM: I gave Bryan an offer he couldn't refuse.
BS: [sobbing] The humanity!
TW: It's OK, Brannon...
BR: Brandon!
TW: ...Bryan hired me back.
BR: Thank god! [Backing out the door] You all are crazy! Crazy I tell you! [Exits running]
BS: All my hopes... dashed to pieces!
[TW shuts the door]
TW: So, what did we miss?
JG: You don't want to know.
AoT: What I want to know is what convinced you to come back?
AM: When the writer's strike ended the Caprica season early I figured why sit around twiddling my thumbs?
JG: I'd twiddle my thumbs.
AM: Oh, and Kristin begged me. [AM hugs KK] Again. And again. And again.
KK: [KK turns red] Shut up.
AM: It's nice to see you too.
AoT: Which leaves us wondering how you got Bryan out of the way.
TW: He signed complete creative control over to us.
JG: Why?
AoT: Did you drug him?
AM: It was a simple business transaction.
TW: In exchange for allowing us to do whatever else we want.
AM: We promised all the specific things he's always wanted would happen in future episodes.
JG & AoT: You promised him what?!?!
TW: And we're going to follow them all to the letter.
JG & AoT: What?!?!
MR: So, Ms. Mack. Would you like to help us finish reading our script?
AM: My pleasure.
JG: Wait. You co-wrote the episode? You're the one who castrated Bittleman?!?!
AM: Erica's still the one behind that.
ED: I wasn't going to give up the episode for nothing.
JG: You let Durance ruin the best thing about the season so far all so you can give Singer everything he ever wanted? Are you two insane?!?!
AM: Relax. Like Tom said we'll honor the contract to the letter. But the spirit? Not so much.
KK: That would explain the crying. He's already seen how we satisfy one of the top items.
AoT: How...?
ED: But first...
[ED pulls out a wireless mic and heads for the stereo.]
AM: Oh, no.
[ED cues up Bowie's "Dancing in the street". TW and AM exchange curious glances. MR turns on a web cam and points it at AM]

ED: Okay
KK: [KK goes around the room uncovering several video monitors naming countries as she goes. In each one a dozen or so fans smile for the camera and shout "Hi Allison!".] Tokyo, South America, Australia, France, Germany, U.K., Africa.
ED: Calling out around the world
[ED holds up the mic for her cast mates as each one sings]
MR: are you ready for a brand-new beat?
ED: Alli's back and the time is right! Fans dancing in the street.
JG: [Points to the Chicago screen] They're dancing in Chicago
Chicago Fans: [Fans serenade AM from their respective monitor] dancing in the street
KK: down in New Orleans
New Orleans Fans: dancing in the street
ED: in New York City
NYC Fans: dancing in the street
ED: All we need is Mack
[MR starts dancing with AM]
MR: sweet Mack
JG: [Holding up a bootleg season 3.5 DVD] There'll be Alli Mack everywhere.
KK: There'll be swinging and swaying, fan vids playing
AoT: dancing in the street.
ED: It doesn't matter what you wear just as long as you are there.
KK: So come on every fan grab your remote
ED: everywhere around the world.
AoT: They'll be dancing
All the fans: We're dancing in the street.
ED, KK, and AoT: Dancing in the street.
ED: This is an invitation across the nation
KK: a chance for folks to see
AoT: There'll be laughing and swinging and fan vids playing
All the fans: dancing in the street.
ED: Philadelphia P.A.
Philadelphia Fans: dancing in the street
KK: Baltimore and D.C.
D.C & Baltimore Fans: dancing in the street
MR: Don't forget the Motor City
Detroit Fans: dancing in the street
KK: On the streets of Brazil
Brazil Fans: dancing in the street
ED: Back in the USSR
Russian Fans: dancing in the street
AoT: Don't matter where you are
All the fans: dancing in the street
ED: All we need is Mack
MR: sweet Mack
JG: [Holding up AM's Maxim cover] We'll have Alli everywhere.
KK: There'll be swinging and swaying fan vids playing
All the fans: dancing in the street.
AoT: It doesn't matter what you wear just as long as you are there.
KK: So come on every fan grab your remote
AoT: everywhere around the world.
ED: They'll be dancing
All Fans: We're dancing in the street
ED, KK, and AoT: dancing in the street.
ED: Way down in L.A.
L. A. Fans: everyday dancing in the street
ED, KK, and AoT: Dancing in the street
MR: Across in China too [Dancing with AM] me and you dancing in the street
China Fans: Dancing in the street
AoT: Don't you know they'll be dancing
All fans: dancing in the street
ED, KK, and AoT: Dancing in the street
MR: Don't you know they'll be dancing
All fans: dancing in the street
ED, KK, and AoT: Dancing in the street.
[The music dies down. The cast and all the fans clap and cheer. AM turns red]

AM: Wow. Thanks. I'm just.... I'm floored.
All the fans: [Clapping] We love you, Alli!
AM: I... [fans self and start choking up] I'm verklempt.
ED: OK, everybody! Thanks so much!
MR: Say bye to Allison before she embarrasses herself!
All the fans: Bye bye, Allison! We love you!
[KK goes around turning the monitors off.]

TW: Do I get a song?
ED: Are you kidding? You hate Bowie!
TW: Yeah, but...
ED: Time for cake!
AM: There's cake too!?!?
ED: I had it made special in your honor, Allison!
AM: [Through tears] Made special? For me?
[ED pulls a cover off a cake. It has a icing photo of AM's Maxim cover]
AM: [Grimaces] Gee.... thanks?
ED: You've got to admit you're pretty hot. Even on a cake.
MR: [Animalistic growl] I claim a thigh! [KK smacks MR on the arm] Ow! What?
AM: You guys... really, you shouldn't have!
TW: Do I get a cake?
ED: [Taking TW's hand] Oh, Tom. I'm so sorry. But you weren't even gone a whole episode. You understand, right?
[TW pouts and turns away]
ED: [Stroking TW's arm] Aw, poor Tommy.
AM: Actually...
TW: [Hopeful] I get a cake too?
AM: Michael?
MR: On it! [Rolls a table in from outside.]
TW: This is fabulous!
MR: [Pulling off the cover] Ta Da! [It's a significantly smaller cake with an icing photo of TW poorly photo shopped into the super suit.]
[TW just stares]
AM: Bryan's top stipulation. We have Tom in the suit during the episode.
KK: [Attempting to force some enthusiasm] And there it is.
JG: [Tilting his head] Does his head seem a little big for his body to you?
TW: [Disappointed] That's just...
AM: [Looking at the two cakes] At least you're fully clothed.
TW: It's not even my body!
MR: I call Tom's thigh! [KK smacks MR on the arm] Ow! Come on!
ED: [holding up an ice cream scoop and a tub of Ben and Jerry's] And ice cream! We have ice cream!
MR: [Looking at ED with concern] You do know you don't have to look pregnant anymore?
ED: [Shoving the ice cream into MR's hands] Shut up and scoop.

[Later the cast finishing up their cake and ice cream. MR is eating the piece with TW's thigh and has the piece with AM's thigh set aside for later.]
AoT: So shall we get back to business?
AM: Sure.
MR: [Cutting a piece from AM's cake] Want another piece, Allison?
AM: No thanks, Michael.
MR: [Hands AM a large piece with Chloveage] Here. [Grins] Eat your heart out!
AM: [Glances at the piece and rolls her eyes] Ha. Ha.
MR: No? I'll save it for later.
TW: [Taking his last bite] I'll take it!
MR: [Moving to protect the cake] Oh, no. You eat your own heart out, Welling!
AoT: Stop it boys. We need to get going if we're going to make it to karaoke tonight.
AM: We're going to do karaoke too?
ED: Of course! Having our favorite cast-mate back is worth a celebration!
JG: I thought we were celebrating having Bryan off our backs?
ED: And we'll have the finest tequila!
TW: No Bowie songs, right?
MR: Come on, Tom! Be a sport!
TW: No Bowie, For me. Please?
ED: I can't make any promises, Tom.
AoT: This is Allison's night. Don't spoil it for her, Tom.
MR: [Between forkfuls of Chloveage] We've got pork rinds too!
ED: Right! Pork rinds! How could I have forgotten about the pork rinds?!
AM: [Starting to weep] I missed you guys so much!
MR: Put a stopper on it already, Mack, and start reading.

Continued