A Friendly Chat With The Boss

As retold by RepairmanBob

(MR is pacing outside of BS’s office.)
MR: You can do this, you can do this, you can do this. After all, what is the worst she can do? (Shutters) No, don’t think about that! You can do this!
(MR opens the door. BS is at his desk, playing with Superman action figures. Two chairs with high backs are facing the desk)
BS: I will stop you, Zod! No one can stop me or my wonderful cape!
MR: (Walks towards the desk) Bryan! We need to talk!
BS: Hi Michael! (Goes back to playing with figures.) Kneel before Zod, Kal-El! (Smashes figures together) Boom! Smash! Zoom!
MR: Bryan, this is important!
BS: More important than Action Figure Time?
MR: Come on –
BS: Great! Glad we agree! (Continues to ignore MR) No, Zod! No one can defeat me while I wear my suit! Crash! Bang! (Throws Zod figure into the air.) Now I will stop you too, Brainaic! (Takes out a Brainaic figure.)
MR: I need to talk you about the script for Masquerade! This can’t wait!
BS: You know what else I can’t wait for? The new Hellboy movie! I love Hellboy! He would be even better with a cape! You know who else has a cape? The NFL Walter Payton Man of the Year statue! Hey, did you know Clark played football?
MR: Bryan I –
BS: Did you know in Europe, football is soccer? That always seemed funny to me. Just like Scooby Doo! Scooby sure did like to eat. Hey are you hungry? I could go for some pie. (Yells out door) Bring me some pie! And ice cream! Pie rules!
MR: Yeah! (High fives BS) No, wait Bryan, about Masquerade –
BS: You know who else wears a mask? Jason from Friday the 13th! I wonder why people say thirteen is unlucky. Did you know Social Distortion sang about that? Thirteen's my lucky number
MR: To you it means stay inside.
MR+BS: Black cat done crossed my path, no reason to run and hide. Social D rules! (High five)
MR: Wait, wait, about Masquerade –
BS: Michael, relax. I know you are doing a great a job. I have complete faith in you and Kristin.
MR: Yeah, about that. Kristin has been -
(One of the chairs in front of BS’s desk turns around, revealing a smiling KK)
KK: Has been what, Michael?
MR: (Jumps in the air, screams like a little girl) Eeek!
BS: Are you OK, Michael?
KK: Yes, are you OK, Michael?
MR: I, um – I mean I –
BS: Kristin told me how great everything is going! And how much help my notes have been! She is great!
MR: Yeah, great. Bryan, can we -
KK: (reaches into her pocket, pulls out a handful of pennies.) Bryan, look what I got for you! (Throws the pennies into the air.)
BS: Hurray! (Claps, runs around picking up pennies.)
KK: (Stand up, grabs MR by the front of his shirt, whispers.) Don’t you dare screw with me, Rosenbaum! You will not fuck up this episode for me!
MR: But Bryan will –
KK: The only reason you are still walking is because I am having more fun screwing with the rest of the cast than just handing you over to them! Do you really want me to re-evaluate that decision?
MR: But when he sees the episode –
KK: Tom will protect us! (Shrugs) Probably. Now, who are you more scared of – me, or Bryan?
MR: (Frantically looks back and forth between KK and BS, who is still picking up pennies.)
KK: Keep in mind I have John on speed dial.
BS: (Picks up last of pennies, stands.) Thanks Kristin! So Michael, what did you want to talk about?
KK: Oh, nothing important. Right, Michael?
MR: (Looks scared and confused)
KK: Great. (Takes MR’s arm.) Come on, Michael, let’s get back to work. (Walks out of BS’s office with MR.)
MR: I’m screwed, aren’t I?
KK: I’ll give you a ten-minute head start before I call John. I’d get running if I were you.

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