7.16 Control by ED & MR (Part II)

KK: Scene one?
MR: Alright, if you must know Ted has taken Lois out for drinks because Lois is still depressed about Chloe.
JG: Chloe?!?! She died like a month ago! She's still hung up on that?
MR: Lois is also down because Kahn called her latest article crap.
KK: It probably was.
JG: [Reading the script] Heh, I love Bittleman.
AoT: [Flipping through her script] What's he say?
JG: "Kahn didn't call it crap."
AoT: What's to love about that?
JG: Well Lois responds Kahn did too and then Bittleman says, "No. I was there. She called it 'such a steaming pile of crap it would embarrass even the Inquisitor.'"
AoT: Oh, I like Bittleman too.
BR: So Lois Lane on this show isn't a good reporter?
AoT + JG + MR + KK: Shut up!
MR: As long as we're reading, Lois brings up Vic Sage.
JG: "Corroborating with Sage was your first mistake, Barbie. Even the total whack jobs think the guy's a total whack job. If you want to print a story about a strange visitor from another planet you're going to find a source with at least a hint of credibility."
MR: "You're just jealous Vic choose me over you."
JG: "Because he's more interested in how somebody looks in black and purple leather than in respectable journalism?"
MR: "Vic knew I was interested in Kal-El."
JG: "Exactly. He knows somebody like me is way too smart to fall for his incredibly asinine alien conspiracy theory claptrap!"
ED: Did he just call Lois stupid?
KK: I think he did.
ED: What the hell? He was supposed to start to liking her!
MR: And that's when Lois starts going on about saint Chloe. Blah blah blah after years of calling her cousin a whacked out alien conspiracy theorist it's just Lois' luck she finally sees an honest to goodness alien the day after the only other person who might believe her dies.
AoT: Bittleman doesn't believe her? Wasn't he there too?
MR: I think he was unconscious or something? Oh look! Barn scene with Martha!
AoT: Cool!
KK: [rolls eyes] Weren't we discussing whether Bittleman believed Lois?
AoT: Oh, who cares? It's a Martha scene!
KK: It's scary when I'm the person most concerned about continuity in the room.
MR: Quiet, you, with your continuity crap. Clark is pounding stuff in the barn because he's in a bad mood.
AoT: Why?
MR: Chloe is...
JG: ...dead. We get it already! Where the hell is Lionel!?!?
MR: Kristin should be happy. There's continuity.
KK: Should I? Was she even mentioned the last four episodes?
BR: Who's Chloe?
JG: Just some girl Bryan made us kill off.
MR: Martha drops into check on Clark. She's going to bed early because she has a big day tomorrow. A new mutant leader is being elected. She knows he's down because Chloe's funeral is tomorrow.
KK: Wait. What?
MR: They're going to select...
KK: No. The other part.
MR: He's down because of Chloe's...
KK: That's it!
MR: Funeral?
KK: What the hell?
MR: Her funeral is the next day.
JG: [Shaking his head] I knew it was a mistake to let you and Durance try to write something together. You don't have two brain cells between the two of you to rub together, do you?
MR: Rub together... heh, dirty!
JG: [Rolls eyes]
KK: Chloe's funeral is five episodes after she dies!?!?
AoT: That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!
BR: That is pretty ridiculous.
AoT + JG + MR + KK: Shut up!
MR: Clark is all about self flagellation tonight...
BR: "If I'd never come to Earth..."
MR: What the hell are you doing?
BR: Reading Clark's lines?
MR: Why?
BR: Because I'm sitting in for Clark?
KK: We don't do it that way.
BR: I'm sorry. What?
MR: I wrote it. I read it. Comprende?
BR: But...
MR: No buts. If I want you to read something I'll let you know. Annette?
AoT: [When she sees the line she rolls her eyes] "You can't blame yourself, Clark." Haven't we already been over this like a thousand times?
MR: Since we haven't even had a thousand episodes I seriously doubt it.
AoT: How may episodes have we had?
MR: [Irritated] Annette.
KK: I don't know? A hundred and thirty? Hundred and forty?
AoT: Haven't we been over this like a hundred and thirty times?
MR: We're going to go over it again, OK?
AoT: God, why can't Martha stop giving Clark get out of jail free passes and go mack out and somebody for once?
JG: Hear, hear!
BR: Could I...?
AoT + JG + MR + KK: Shut up!
MR: Clark says if he hadn't come to Earth there would have been no meteor shower. Chloe never would have been infected and she'd still be alive.
AoT: [Not even looking at the script] "Don't blame yourself for things you had no control over, Clark. You've done a lot of good."
JG: [Checks the script] Not bad. All you left out was clearing all the kryptonite out of Smallville so no one else gets infected.
AoT: Dammit! How did I miss that?
BR: There's kryptonite all over Small...?
AoT + JG + MR + KK: Shut up!
MR: Not one to stop beating himself...
KK: ...off.
MR: Would you behave, Kristin?
KK: That reminds me. What exactly was Clark banging as the scene opens?
MR: Kristin...
KK: Bessy?
MR: Kristin! [Nodding at BR] We have a guest.
KK: Spoil sport.
MR: Clark tells her sometimes he feels like his presence on Earth in the whole scheme of things has done more harm than good. Lana's parents, Zod, Darkseid. "Compared to the evil I've brought into this world how much have I really helped?"
KK: He's got a point.
BR: So Smallville's Clark...?
AoT + JG + MR + KK: Shut up!
MR: Martha tells him his story isn't over yet. She knows in the long run her son is going to do more good for this world that he can possibly imagine. She encourages him to get some rest.
AoT: That's it? That's a sucky scene.
JG: At least it's a scene. Lionel hasn't even shown up yet.
MR: Sit tight, we'll get to Lionel.
JG: Really? When.
MR: Act two.
JG: [sighs]
MR: [smirks] Or three.
JG: If my sanity wasn't dependent on the success of your "plan" I'd kick your smug little ass right right now.

MR: Cut to the mutant center. Titian politics with other mutants to take over Lucius' old position. Brief introduction of a rival who thinks Titian is dangerous and wants to honor Lucius' cooperative approach. [to KK] Do we have to read through this scene too?
KK: Nah. I don't really care about it.
JG: Is Lionel in it?
MR: No.
JG: Then I don't care either. Next scene.
AoT: Martha?
MR: No.
AoT: Skip.

MR: Back to Vault Black.
JG: Death and carnage. Next.
MR: Not so fast. Sirens go off, lots of cool smoke and mist everywhere.
KK: You know we're running low on budget...
MR: Relax, it's just a few fans and dry ice. Outside Richards tries to get the containment field back on line.
JG: But in typical LuthorCorp incompetence...
MR: On a display "Initiating emergency protocol..." Followed by "Auto shut-off of life support: Engaged."
KK: Oh, that's real smart.
MR: It's there to keep whatever is in Vault Black from escaping if the containment field goes down. Dr. Richards runs to the door and puts his hand on the ID reader. The display reads "Access denied: Lock-down mode." He can't get in.
AoT: And Lex can't get out. Even smarter.
MR: Richards makes various adjustments at the control panel. Inside a monitor shows vital signs within the Vault slowing. Lex starts to panic. He strains to slide the top aside.
KK: So after all these precautions Lex is going to let whatever is in there out himself?
JG: That's not too smart.
MR: Shut up!

Continued