Prelude to Control

[JG, KK, AoT in the writers' room]
AoT: I can't believe Singer is going to turn Martha into a Grandma!
KK: Don't worry, Annette. I'm sure things will work out in the end.
AoT: In the end? How can you be so calm? Didn't Bryan just raise Lana from the dead?
KK: He thinks he did.
AoT: What do you have up your sleeve, Kreuk?
[Brandon Routh (BR) enters looking nervous.]
JG: Who the hell are you?
BR: [Offering JG his hand]I'm Brandon Routh. Bryan asked me to sit in for Tom.
AoT: You don't actually like that guy do you?
BR: Tom? Sure, he's...
KK: No! Singer, you idiot! [Pauses and extends her hand] I'm Kristin.
BR: [Figuring out JG isn't going to shake his hand shakes with Kristin] Right. Bryan? I guess he's OK.
JG: He's a freaking nut job is what he is!
BR: [Nervous smile]
JG: Sit down, shut up, and stay out of trouble and we'll get along fine. [Looks around and checks his watch] Dammit! Where the hell are Michael and Erica?!?!
BR: They were...
JG: What part of shut up don't you understand!?!?
[MR rushes in carrying scripts]
MR: OK everybody, let's get started!
KK: Get started? [Subtle head nod toward BR] What happened to the plan?
BR: Plan? What pl..?
JG: Shut up! Are you Singer's spy?!?! Are you here to squeal on us?!?!
BR: No, I'm just...
MR: [Handing the scripts out] Lighten up, John. Brandon, relax.
JG: Lighten up?!!? You said you had it all under control, Rosenbaum!
MR: I do.
JG: Then what the hell is he doing here!?!?
BR: I'm...
JG + MR: Shut up!
MR: We're still working on it.
AoT: Where's Erica?
MR: I said we're still working on it!
AoT: No reason to get testy.
MR: Erica will be here in a minute. In the meantime why don't we get started?
JG: You're leaving this in Erica's hands?!!? My god, man! Are you insane!?!?
MR: Relax, John, I've brought in the big guns. Erica is just... baby sitting until they get here.
BR: Excuse me but...
AoT: Stay the hell out of this, Ruth.
BR: Routh.
AoT: Whatever. [To MR] Michael, tell me Martha isn't going to be a Grandma!
MR: Kristin, will you read for Hope in the teaser?
KK: Sure..
JG: Another Lex teaser. Big surprise. Lionel better be in it.
AoT: Oh my god! Martha is going to be a grandma, isn't she?!?!
BR: What's the big deal? She's like, what? Seventy years old?
[AoT dives over the table at BR. KK, MR, & JG move to hold her back]
AoT: I'm going to pull that tongue right out of your mouth!
BR: Whoa.
KK: Calm down, Annette. [To BR] She gets a little touchy about Martha.
BR: [Backing his chair up against wall] I noticed.
KK: I'm sure he meant the movie version. Didn't you Ruth?
BR: Routh.
AoT: And then I'm going to stamp on it...
KK: Didn't you?!!?
BR: Yeah. The movie version. You look much younger... not a day over... [looks at KK for help]
KK: [Mouths out thirty]
BR: [Looks at KK like she's crazy]
KK: [Mouths out thirty more emphatically]
BR: Thirty. Not a day over thirty.
AoT: [Stops lunging] And?
[BR looks to KK for help]
MR: Annette, everyone knows Martha Kent is a very attractive young woman.
JG: A fire cracker!
BR: Fire cracker? Martha Kent?
KK + JG: [Glaring at BR] Shut up!
MR: Now please sit down so we can get going.
AoT: [Brushing her hair back in place] Yes, of course. [To JG] I don't like him. I don't like him at all.
JG: I know, but we can't do anything about it here.
AoT: [sitting] Later then.
BR: [Gulps]
[ED pokes her head in the door]
BR: [Stands and offers his hand] Hi, I'm Brand...
ED: [Waving him off] Yeah, yeah, we'll talk later. [to MR] Michael, pssst! Michael!
MR: Are they here already?
ED: No! I need...
JG: [Throws up his hands] Oh, god, she's screwed it up already!
ED: [To JG] Do you want to be the one out there dealing with him?!?
JG: No.
ED: Then stay the hell out of it! [Motions MR to the door.]
MR: What do you need?
ED: Some aspirin. I've been talking with Bryan for over an hour. And. I just. need. some. aspirin!
KK: [Pulling out her purse] I think I might have some.
ED: Hurry! I don't know how long a handful of change is going to keep him occupied.
MR: Is it shiny?
ED: Of course it's shiny! You think I'm an idiot!?!?
JG: If your plan relies on loose change you are an idiot!
ED: [Hands on hips] Hello! It's shiny!
KK: [Pulls pill bottle out of her purse] Oh, here we are!
ED: [Takes the pills and takes a second look at BR] Wait, I know you. Brendan, right?
BR: [Smiles] Brandon.
ED: I loved you in the Mummy! We should exchange our Al & Miles horror stories later. Gotta go. [Dumps a handful of aspirin into her hand and heads for the door] I'll be back!
JG: Don't screw this up, Durance!
ED: [As she munches on a mouthful of aspirin] Bite me, Glover! [Exits]
KK: [Noticing BR looks a little dazed] You OK? [pause] Hello?
BR: The Mummy?
AoT: I knew I'd seen you before! What was it like working with Bugs Bunny?
BR: No...
JG: You shared the screen with Bugs Bunny!?!?! Singer is surrounding us with freaks!!!
BR: I didn't actually.
JG: [Glares]
BR: Share the screen with Bugs Bunny.
JG: [Glares and picks up a pen.]
BR: That was Brendan...
JG: [Holds the pen like a dagger and calmly clicks the pen while continuing to glare]
BR: I'm shutting up now.
MR: Elizabeth Hurley is so hot!!!
BR: Again, I never...
MR: Did you know she was the inspiration for my naked exploding women robots?
KK: No. But now I know who deserves to die for making my life hell.
BR: was in...
MR: I don't get it man. Why would you go to a hooker when you've got that at home?
BR: That wasn't...
MR: Totally whacked. And that's all I have to say about that. [Opening the script] OK. Let's get started.
BR: [Puts his head in his hands and sighs]
JG: Sit up and show us some respect young man before I tear you a new one!

Continued