7.15 Masquerade by KK & MR (Part VII)

as retold by Maniac64 & PhantomChic

MR: We come back and see Lex standing in front of Hope, again aiming her pistol.
KK: She fires her gun and Lex's hand quickly leaps in front of his face.
MR: He opens his fist and the bullet falls to the ground. "Well what do you know, I'm faster than a speeding bullet."
JG: Oh God.
TW: Please tell me you're kidding.
MR: What? It's funny.
AoT: Kristin?
KK: What do I care? If he wants to say that lame line then he can go ahead.
TW: Are you going to leap tall buildings in a single bound next?
MR: It's funny!
KK: Anyway.
MR: Right. Lex turns back to the army o' Lanas. "Now, let's see exactly what this suit's offensive capabilities are."
KK: And with that we go into a montage of Lex destroying Lanabots in a multitude of fun and exciting ways.
MR: Lasers, bullets, missiles, ripping them in half, stomping them to pieces…
JG: We get it.
KK: Oh come on. This was the best part of writing this episode. We have pages of different ways to destroy Lana on my laptop.
AoT: How many of these are you putting in the episode?
MR: Basically we are going to shoot the rest of the episode and however much time we have left will be spent destroying Lanas.
[KK smiles and nods happily]
TW: How much of our special effects budget is this going to use?
KK: Oh don't be a spoilsport Tom, this is well worth it.
MR: Heck, this might be the greatest scene in Smallville history!
JG: Oh please.
MR: What?
JG: This is hardly worthy of being called the greatest scene in the show's history.
TW: I agree.
MR: Oh yeah? Then what is.
JG: Well, my personal favorite is…
KK: Please John. Don't.
JG: I was just answering his question.
KK: Yes, but if you answer than everyone else is going to want to tell their favorite moments. And quite frankly, I don't give a damn. [JG glares at KK] Kidding.
MR: But seriously, don't answer.
[JG glares at MR now]
KK: We cut from the fun of destroying Lanas to Lois and Vic at the door to Lionel's penthouse. He's using a handheld device to break the security code on the panel next to the door. He's also wearing a psuedoderm mask in addition to his suit, trench coat and hat.
ED: A what?
KK: The question has a special mask made out of a synthetic chemical that makes his face look blank. Erica, you're wearing all black. Very cat burglar.
MR: Are you sure she can't be dressed as Catwoman in this scene?
KK: Fine, she can wear a black leather bodysuit. But no cowl. Anyway, Vic gets the door open and they go in and start looking around. Lois finds the office and starts to look thru papers on his desk, but Vic doesn't follow.
ED: "Where you going, Q? This is his office."
MR: "Lionel Luthor is not going to have his plans for world domination filed under ‘W'."
ED: "No, they're probably under ‘D'. Isn't this why we're here?"
MR: "Hook up the external drive to copy his hard drive and start going thru files. I'll be right back."
ED: "Where are you going to look?"
MR: "The bathroom." He heads off.
ED: "Should have gone before we left."
KK: We find Vic in Lionel's master bath. He collects all of Lionel's diabolical mind-controlling hair care products
JG: Kristin.
KK: It's just a crackpot theory, John. Anyway, once he has a counter full of beauty products he starts collecting samples and putting the labeled vials in his bag. Meanwhile, Lois is at Lionel's desk. She trips a catch and a hidden drawer pops open. Inside we see several crystals, the copy of the map from season four, and papers covered with kryptonian writing.
ED: "Jackpot."
KK: She pulls out a camera and takes a picture of the drawer, then starts pulling out pages to photograph.
JG: I cannot believe you have Lois doing this to Lionel.
ED: What? Lois is supposed to be good at this stuff isn't she?
AoT: Lois is supposed to be a lot of things that our Lois isn't.
ED: Hey!
KK: But you're still the hottest Lois Lane ever.
ED: Well thank you Kristin.
KK:[muttering to MR] Too easy.
MR: We pan out through the floor, going thru layers until we come to Clark. He's standing on the ground floor watching all of this with X-Ray vision. He blinks, then turns to one of the walls and a beam of heat vision shoots out, burning a tiny hole in the wall. Inside we see a wire has been severed.
KK: Upstairs alarms start going off.
TW: Clark called security on Lois?
ED: What a jerk.
KK: He's trying to keep her from getting anything on him, but Lois stuffs a couple of the crystals and kryptonian papers into her bag as Vic runs in.
MR: "Time to go. Did you get it?"
ED: "I've got something."
KK: She closes the drawer.
MR: "The computer?"
ED: "It's 92% complete. We'll just have to hope what we need isn't in that eight."
MR: "No, we have to get it all."
ED: "And what will Lionel do to us if his security catches us?" She unplugs the drive and sticks it her bag. "I've got pictures and samples. I left enough that it should take him awhile to realize anyone found his hiding place. Now how to we get out of here?"
MR: "They'll have shutdown the elevators and sealed off the stairwells. This way."
KK: He opens the window and pulls out a hook and cable. He drops the line down and attaches a clip that connects to his belt. He attaches another clip to Lois and tells her to hold on. They rappel down the side of the building and land in an alley down below.
JG: Where the hell is my security?
MR: Maybe they got lost or stopped for coffee the way Lex's always seem to.
JG: Lionel's security is not incompetent like Lex's.
MR: It is in this episode.
KK: We see a long shot of Lois and Vic, then reverse to Otis. He raises a gun and points it at Lois. And we go to commercial.
JG: Ah, Otis. He'll get them.
KK: Right, because guns pointed at main characters at the Act break so often find their targets.
TW: And yet you're going with the cliché.
KK: It was that or have them start to fall off the rappel line.

continued...