7.16 Control by AM & MR (Part VI)

AM: Kahloe smiles, "There's a new Lex Luthor in town." She has security escort Lionel out before turning her attention back to Clark. Seductively, "If you're so convinced I'm behind Chloe's disappearance maybe you should talk to her yourself." She kisses Clark and exits the office.
MR + TW: What?!?!?
MR: I'm not kissing Tom!
AM: Sure you are, Michael.
MR: The hell I am! Lex wouldn't do that.
AM: This is Kahloe, not Lex.
MR: But...
AM: And I want you to really sell it. You need you to really move in for the kiss. Don't be afraid to use a little tongue.
TW: Allison, are you sure that's a good idea?
AM: You're not afraid of kissing a guy, are you Tom?
TW: No. It's that that if Lex kisses Clark he's going to wind up blowing...
KK: Heh. He sure is.
TW: [sighs] He's going to wind up blowing his...
ED: ...sworn enemy?
TW: Blowing his cover, dammit! Blowing his cover!
MR: Yeah. What Tom said. Kahloe is to smart to blow...
ED: ...her sworn enemy?
KK: Are you kidding? She's a horny slut! She'll blow whatever or whomever she wants.
MR: Not helping, Kristin.
KK: [smiles] I know.
MR: Kahloe is smart, right Allison?
AM: She's also kind of horny.
KK: Kind of?
AM: Really horny.
MR: Horny? Since when?
AoT: You wrote her that way all season, Michael. Did you not pay attention to your own episodes?
MR: I never thought it would lead to Kahloe taking liberties with Lex's body!
AM: On the contrary, it already has.
MR: That's not the kind of liberties I'm talking about!
AM: I'll think about changing it.
MR: Think about it?!?!? If you don't scrap this kiss I'll... I'll make Sex kiss Lois! You'll have to kiss Durance! How do you like those apples?
ED: [insulted] You make it sound like it's a bad thing.
AM: Nice try, Rosenbaum, but thanks to the ubiquitous bi-sexual nature of the female cylons half a season on Caprica has left me pretty numb to the idea of a lesbian kiss. If Sex had ever shown the slightest interest in Lois I'd be more than willing to lock lips with Erica.
ED: It'd be the highlight of your life, Allison!
AM: But he hasn't. A kiss just wouldn't make sense.
ED: It might get us a shared cover on Maxim, though.
MR: Why did I have to turn Kahloe into such a slut!?!?
KK: Because you're a chauvinistic pig?
MR: Shit. You're going to make me kiss Glover too, aren't you?
AM: Oh god, no.
JG: What? Why not!?!? I'm a great kisser! [Leaning in toward MR] Pucker up, Rosenbaum, I'll show you!
MR: [Leaning away] Get away from me, John!
JG: Probably for the best. I'd just leave you aching for more and I'm already spoken for.
MR: Whatever. I just don't think Kahloe would kiss Clark even if she really wanted to.
AoT: Maybe she could just tease? Like Lionel did to Chloe when he was in Clark's body.
TW: Somehow I don't think it would have the same effect.
AoT: It'd be hot though.
JG: I wouldn't mind seeing it.
AoT: What if Kahloe leans close for her last line they just kind of brush their lips together before she leaves?
KK: Stop. You're giving me goosebumps.
MR: [Head in hands] This is so wrong!
AM: Either you kiss Tom in this scene or you wear the puffy shirt. It's your choice.
MR: In that case I'm all over the puffy shirt!
ED & KK: Dammit!
KK: You should make him kiss Tom and wear the puffy shirt!
AM: Don't worry. There's more to like later.
ED & KK: Rock on!
MR: Dammit!

AM: Talon apartment. Sex is ...
MR: Sporting a pixie cut.
AM: In your dreams. He's wiping Lois' laptop. Lois bursts in while on the phone, "Of course I have no idea what's going on, Ted. Clark just seems to think Chloe is still..." Spotting Chloe she stops dead.
MR: "Alive?" Sex stands and steps away from the computer.
AM: Lois pauses for a beat. "I've got to go." She hangs up and rushes across the room and hugs her cousin tight. Fighting back tears of relief, "I... I watched you die."
MR: Sex obviously isn't into the hug but tries to play along. "Lois, would you let go? You're about to crush me."
AM: "OK, of course. I can't believe it's really you! I've got to call Clark."
MR: "Wait!"
AM: Lois keeps dialing, "I don't know how he knows these things..."
MR: Sex grabs Lois' phone and closes it.
AM: "What are you doing?"
MR: "Something I should have done a long time ago. I'm finally choosing the right side."
AM: "What are you talking about?" Noticing her laptop is deleting items, "Is that my LuthorCorp research?"
MR: Sex picks up a vase, "Let me give you a piece of advice..."
AM: Lois is at the keyboard trying to cancel the operation, "What have you done!?!"
MR: As he heaves the vase at Lois' head, "Stay out of our way!"
ED: You're going to knock Lois out?
AM: Yup. Lois falls to the ground.
ED: [pouts] That sucks!
MR: I think I might like actually like it better than Sex kissing her.
KK: Maybe Sex could kiss her and then knock her over the head!
AM: Not. your. episode.
MR: As Sex stands over Lois' body his cell phone rings. It's Kahloe.
AM: Sex glances at a flash drive in his hand labeled "Lois' research". "I've taken care of Lois' research." He slips the drive into his pocket. "How are things going on your end?"

MR: Cut to Kahloe on the phone in Richard's lab. "We've hit a minor snag... " Pull back to show Richards at gun point, nervously sitting at the desk beside her, "... but nothing I can't handle."
AM: "So you can restore her powers."
MR: "Of course. Meet me at building 42."
AM: Sex pauses, "But that's just..."
MR: "Your original copy was quite busy while you and Chloe were in stasis. The pallets of fertilizer are just a front. Building 42 is now home to the cutting edge in gene therapy." Kahloe hangs up.
AM: Cut to show the screen Kahloe is looking at. The simulation results show "Neural clone: Destroyed." Kahloe closes the window revealing a dozen other simulations, all but one with the same result.
MR: She maximizes the "successful" scenario which reads "Neural clone: Survives" Underneath it reads "Input parameter: Original copy terminated."
AM: Kahloe closes the laptop and stands. "Thank you for running those simulations, Dr. Richards. As much as I'd like to reward you with your life somebody has to take the blame for the horrible way Chloe was treated. It might as well be you. And then there's that minor issue about LuthorCorp not tolerating traitors." Kahloe winks with a smile before cocking the gun and aiming.

MR: Clark bursts into the Talon apartment, "Chloe!?"
AM: He finds Lois sitting on the floor gingerly rubbing her head. Part two of another stipulation for Bryan. Clark calls Lois Chloe.
AoT: Part two? What's part one?
MR: You'll see.
AM: Lois, "You just missed her."
MR: "Where'd she go!!??"
AM: "I don't know! She bludgeoned me with her own sympathy bouquet on her way out."
MR: "We have to find her!"
AM: Lois stands, "I'm not sure we want to."
MR: "Lois, how could you say that?"
AM: "To call who ever just left Chloe is...." And now for part one of the stipulation, "...well she's so far away from the person we knew you might as well call me Chloe Sullivan." Lois tells Clark to call her Chloe.
JG: Heh. You play dirty, Mack. I love it.
AM: Thanks. That means a lot coming from you.

Continued