7.08 Apparition by KK & AoT (Part I)

As retold by Maniac64 & PhantomChic

Clark and Lex are haunted by the past.

[The rest of the cast is already assembled when AoT and KK walk in and sit down.]
AM: Okay, Kristen, bring it on.
KK: Calm down, Allison. I’m over it.
TW: Yeah, right.
KK: It’s been brought to my attention that taking your bait last week was exactly what you wanted.
[AM smirks]
KK: It doesn’t matter to me anymore. I’ve had my fill of vengeance, now I just want to have fun.
[MR leans over to TW]
MR: She’s up to something.
TW: Oh, yeah.
ED: What do you mean?
MR: She’s too calm. Twenty bucks says she’s done something to screw Allison.
TW: No bet.
ED: I’ll take it. Kristen said she’s over it, so she’s over it.
[MR laughs as TW collects $20 from each of them]
KK: I even agreed to do a couple scenes in this episode to give Lana’s fans closure
TW: Wait, you’re writing Lana in this episode? She’s still dead right?
KK: Of course! I’m just doing a couple scenes, to make it absolutely clear that she’s gone, at peace, and never coming back. But that’s later.
AoT: We start with Chloe sitting in her apartment on the phone. On the table next to her sits an open binder with clippings of newspaper stories on meta-humans. Chloe tells Martha that she’s been in every conceivable database and that she has everything published in the last 5 years on meta-humans. Though up until the last year or two there wasn’t much other than what she was writing herself in Smallville. Chloe assures Martha that the research she has compiled on meta-human media coverage should help her target her next speech on the meta-human issue. Martha thanks her and hangs up to prepare for a vote the next day.
KK: As she sets down her cell phone and picks up the Daily Planet, Chloe’s composure breaks. She stares down at Lois’s name in the byline of an article.
AoT: Sex appears behind her. “What you’re doing is more important.”
KK: Chloe rips the page in half and throws it across the room.
AoT: “All of this jealousy is getting old.”
KK: Cut to the roof of a hotel in Washington at night. Lionel walks out and sees J’onn Jonz waiting for him. “I’m getting kind of tired of Jor-El using my head as a vidphone.”
AoT: “What was the message?”
KK: “The usual. The fortress needs to be repaired and Kal-El needs training.”
AoT: “He has been gathering kryptonite, which can be used to repair the fortress.”
KK: “Well, great. You can convince him to take it up there and do the repairs. I’m neither a carpenter nor a courier. I’ve done my part by diverting Lex’s attention from Clark’s secret. I even secreted his insipid little wife in order to put him in prison. This aspect is entirely on you.”
AoT: “Time is running short. There is danger coming.”
KK: “Thank you for that terribly specific warning. I guess you’d better get Kal-El moving then.”
JG: I can’t believe you’re going back to that well. Lionel is not going to be Jor-El’s pawn.
AoT: That’s why we’re keeping Lionel’s motivation vague.
KK: Besides, it gives you a scene outside of Martha’s plot.
JG: Just remember who helped with your plans.
KK: I’d never forget my mentor.
JG: Hmm.
KK: And now on the freak of the week. Cut to a hospital morgue. A covered body sits in the viewing room. The door opens and we see Nick Mancini, frat boy. He’s dressed for a party, but there’s a fair amount of blood on his shirt and a bandage on his head. Nick walks over to the body and pulls back the sheet, revealing the dead body of another frat boy.
AoT: “I’m sorry, Nate. I’m so sorry.” Nick moves the sheet away from the side of the body and takes Nate’s hang, then reaches out with his other hand to brush the hair off Nate’s forehead. “I miss you already. What am I going to do?”
KK: Suddenly Nate’s eyes pop open. Nick drops his hand and steps back, stunned, as Nate sits up. His neck is at an odd angle until he reaches up, grabs his chin and pops his head back into alignment.
AoT: Nick gets over his shock enough to begin the ritual exchange of “Dudes”.
TW: The what?
KK: You know, Nick says “Dude?”
AoT: Then Nate says “Dude!”
KK: “Dude!”
AoT: “Dude, what happened?”
KK: “You were dead, Dude.”
AoT: “No way!”
KK: “Totally.”
AoT: “I don’t feel dead.”
KK: “I don’t know, Dude. I just touched you and now you’re kind of not.”
AoT: “Cool.”
KK: “Yeah.” They both grin at each other.
AoT: Nate hops down from the table, he’s a big jock type. “Let’s get out of here. We need to celebrate.” He heads for the door.
KK: “Dude? Clothes.”
AoT: Nate looks down at his naked chest, well that’s all we see anyway.
KK: Maybe his bare legs.
ED: Ooh, can I be in this scene?
KK: Anyway. Nick looks around, grabs Nate’s clothes and tosses them to him.
AoT: “You know, dude, we should totally see if this is a fluke.”
KK: “After we get some beer.”
AoT: Well, duh.
KK: And credits.
ED: So who’s playing these guys?
[KK and AoT shrug]
MR: You don’t have casting planned?
AoT: Well, I wanted Bruce Campbell to play Nick. But he wouldn’t do it.
KK: Which is when we made them frat guys. As long as they’re hot, we don’t really care.
ED: Need any help with the casting sessions?



to be continued...