7.08 Apparition by KK & AoT (Part VI)

As retold by Maniac64 & PhantomChic

AM: Where did you get that footage?
KK: Funny story. Turns out Annette can pick locks.
MR: Hey!
TW: Pick what locks? Weren’t those tapes destroyed?
[KK, AoT, & AM all look at MR]
MR: Actually…I may have liberated the master.
AM: What about that deal we just made!
KK: Oh, this wasn’t revenge. This is just something I wanted to do…for the fans. Besides, I wrote this before our deal was made.
AM: I can’t believe you would do this.
MR: I can.
KK: Can we just get back to the episode already? We cut from Lex and Chloe’s sex scene to Martha’s date. The drop in chemistry should be obvious.
AoT: Josh is blathering on about beltway gossip, of the political kind, as Martha signals the waiter for more wine. She adds a few polite interjections while finishing a lovely chocolate cheesecake that will be far more interesting than his dialogue. We’re using time lapses throughout this scene to show how boring the date is.
KK: Josh makes a bad joke about a filibuster and Martha laughs politely.
AoT: The waiter brings the check and Martha whispers “my hero.”
KK: Josh is too busy with his next story to hear her.
JG: Serves her right for cheating on Lionel.
TW: Martha is not dating Lionel.
KK: Sure, Tom.
AoT: After the check is paid, Martha tells Josh “It’s been lovely, but I’m afraid duty calls. I need to review the appropriations bill before the vote tomorrow.”
KK: As she escapes the restaurant, her phone rings. The caller ID reads Lionel. Martha smiles.
AoT: We cut to Nick and the zombies in the cemetery. They are checking the dates on different headstones.
KK: Brad, Bobby, and Larry are digging up the bodies of anyone between the age of 18 and 25, and Nick is raising them. Nate has the hunting rifle in hand and is keeping watch.
AoT: We switch to a different angle where we see Jimmy hiding behind a headstone and taking pictures of the steadily growing army.
AM: Oh no.
AoT: He gets really into taking pictures and stands up without thinking to get a better shot.
KK: Nate spots him and yells “Dudes, camera!” as he raises his rifle.
AoT: Jimmy says “Oh no” and drops the camera, but is too scared to run.
KK: Nate fires off a shot and it goes right through Jimmy’s chest.
AM: You can’t kill Jimmy!
KK: Hey, all I was told was that Jimmy was back. No one said anything about killing him again.
MR: So are we just going to keep killing Jimmy every time he comes back?
KK: Why not?
AoT: It’s a better plotline for him than anything else.
KK: Anyway, Nick hears the shot and yells at Nate “What are you doing?”
AoT: Nate lowers the rifle smiling. “Recruiting.”
KK: “We can’t just kill innocent people!”
AoT: “Why not? He’ll only be dead for a minute. Now hurry up and raise him.”
KK: Nick runs over and brings Jimmy back.
AoT: Nick reluctantly tells Jimmy to join the gravediggers. The group goes back to what they were doing as we see Clark come rushing in.
KK: Nate raises his gun but Nick tells him not to shoot.
AoT: “Stop! You guys can’t do this.”
KK: Larry responds “Why not?”
AoT: “Because it’s wrong.”
KK: Nate looks at Nick. “Now can I shoot him?”
AoT: “Alright. But this is the last one.”
KK: Nate fires the rifle but the bullet just bounces off Clark. Everybody just looks stunned. “I guess we’re going to have to do this the hard way.” Clark super speeds up grabs the rifle from Nate’s hand and then punches him, sending him flying. He then proceeds to bend the barrel of the gun.
AoT: Everyone still looks shocked, and then finally Nick yells “Get him!”
KK: Larry charges Clark with a shovel but Clark grabs him by his shirt and throws him.
AoT: The shirt rips and Larry end up shirtless.
MR: Oh come on!
ED: Yes, come on. We need more shirtless men.
JG: Gayest episode ever.
KK: All of the zombies start attacking Clark.
AoT: Clark sees Jimmy charging at him. “CK, help me! I can’t control myself!”
KK: “Jimmy! Not you!”
AoT: Before he can say anymore Jimmy dives at his throat and Clark is forced to grab him and throw him into another zombie.
KK: The zombies keep rushing at him and Clark keeps fighting them off and throwing them away, but they keep getting up.
AoT: Clark throws the last zombie across the cemetery and sees the ones he’s thrown getting back up. “Oh come on. Don’t these guys ever stop?”
KK: And commercial.

to be continued...