The heart of Dorkiness... continued

[BS watching AM's dubbed version of Superman. Every now and then he re-winds and re-plays a scene]
BS: There's something not right about this... but I just can't put my finger on it.
[ED comes up to the open door and knocks]
BS: [Stands and yells] That's it!
ED: What's it?
BS: [Yelling down the hall] Bring me a Butterfinger!
ED: Me?
BS: You? No! I have people to do that. Besides, [teasing pokes ED in the belly] you're in a delicate way.
[ED smacks BS's hand away]
ED: I am not!
BS: Feisty! That's how Lois Lane should be! Pregnant and feisty!
ED: [Takes a deep breath] Look, the cast and been talking and I think we need to reconsider firing Allison.
BS: Besides, if Lois is going to look like a mom she might as well be a mom. [Squeezes ED's cheek] Am I right?
ED: [Grits her teeth and balls her fists before taking a deep breath] Let's focus, Bryan. We're talking about Allison.
BS: Right! Allison, lovely girl, isn't she?
ED: If you like her so much then don't fire her!
BS: [Picking up a piece of paper] I see you haven't signed up for a season one commentary yet.
ED: But I wasn't even in...
BS: What episode are you going to do?
ED: ...season one!
BS: You can't get DVD residuals unless you do commentary.
ED: You're going to give me DVD residuals for a season I wasn't even in?
BS: Sure. Why not? It's not my money.
ED: Then sign me up!
BS: Which episode?
ED: I don't care. I'll do whatever. I'll do two episodes if you like.
BS: I see. [Looks at list] No one has signed up for Kinetic yet.
ED: Um, don't you think it'd be more fun if I did it with another cast member?
BS: You think?
ED: Yes. Especially since I wasn't in it!
BS: But we need commentary on all the episodes. You won't get residuals otherwise.
ED: Fine. Whatever. What's Kinetic about?
BS: I don't know. Sounds cool, thought doesn't it? And how about Zero. That's another one no one has.
ED: Sure. Sign me up.
BS: Great! Now, season two.
ED: Look, can we talk about what a mistake it is to fire Allison?
BS: Who said I was going to fire Allison?
ED: You did.
BS: I did?
ED: In the staff meeting? You don't remember?
BS: Oh. [pause] Oh, yeah! I was going to save that as a surprise. I guess the cat is out of the bag now. Why do you think they put the cat in the bag in the first place?
ED: Please don't fire her!
BS: Why not? Think of the ratings!
ED: This is more important than ratings!
BS: Well, then the DVD sales!
ED: [Pauses in temptation] No. This is more important. Allison is the glue that holds this freak-show of a cast together!
BS: She is? I thought Tom was the glue that held the cast together.
ED: After Tom!
BS: It's weird to think of people as glue isn't it? That's usually bad news for horses, you know.
ED: Bryan....
BS: I love horses. You used to have horses on your show all the time.
ED: Bryan...
BS: Why no more horses?
ED: Allison, glue.
BS: Don't mention glue around horses. It makes them sad.
ED: There aren't any horses here, Bryan.
BS: I was speaking in general. General hospital! Maybe I could have horses on my show, House.
ED: Fascinating.
BS: Isn't it? And it's not about a house. It's about a doctor. His name is house.
ED: Bryan! Allison helps keep everyone in line!
BS: I thought Annette helped keep everyone in line?
ED: After Annette!
BS: I bet Michael keeps everyone in stitches. A cast that laughs together stays together!
ED: After Michael!
BS: OK, fair enough. So Allison does a better job keeping the show together than you, John, or Kristen?
ED: Absolutely!
BS: Didn't you and John both leave for another show?
ED: Yeah, but...
BS: And Kristen...
ED: Look, I...[Out of the corner of her eye ED notices the movie playing]

Perry White's voice from Superman the Movie: Clark Kent say hello to
AM['s dubbed voice from the movie]: Chloe Sullivan!
CR: Hello
AM['s dubbed voice from the movie]: Chloe.

ED: [Stares in disbelief] What the hell!?!?
BS: [Presses stop button] It's unbelievable, isn't it!?!?
ED: [Indignant] I'll say!
BS: Lois Lane is actually Chloe Sullivan! Did you know that? This was the super secret Donner cut of the movie!
ED: After what I did for her! I can't believe she'd try to pass off a fake...
BS: It's real! I looked it up on the Internet!
ED: Bryan, maybe you're right about Allison...
BS: Of course I am! And that's why we have to kick Allison off the show...
ED: Because she's a conniving little...
BS: So Lois can be revealed as the real Chloe Sullivan!
ED: [Pause] What?
BS: Don't you see? Allison's Chloe was just a cheap imitation of the real thing! With her out of the way we can show that Lois was the real Chloe Sullivan the whole time!
ED: The real who? [Finger tips on temples, eyes closed] OK, Bryan, you're starting to make my head hurt!
BS: We're going to do this big reveal as an homage to Richard Donner! You're my new Chloe Sullivan!
ED: [Headed out the door] You are fucking insane!
BS: [Shouting after her] Wait! I call it the Loe reveal! [Starts up the movie again.] And Erica!
ED: [from offstage frazzled] What!?!?
BS: Try to relax, it's not good for pregnant women to be stressed out!
ED: Fuck off!!!
BS: I hope you plan on losing the potty mouth after you have the baby! [Turning back to the movie] Pure genius! [Yelling out the door!] Where the hell is that candy bar!?!?!

[Cut to TW in his trailer typing. MR sits next to him.]
MR: Now, after Oliver hits it with the mini nuke the robot is going to explode!
TW: But does it have to be naked?
MR: Do you even have to ask?
TW: [rolls his eyes]
[The phone rings.]
TW: Hey, Erica.... slow down, please.
TW: I hate to say I told you so. But I told you so.
TW: Of course my way is going to work! We are going to get rid of him. It's just going to take some time.
TW: Trust me!
TW: [Irritated] Look, I'm not like Allison, OK? I've got all this under control!
TW: But the plan is to get Allison back on the show...
TW: She did what?
TW: Hello? Hello?
[Hangs up]
MR: What was she all riled up about?
TW: She thought she could talk Bryan out of firing Allison.
MR: And?
TW: Now she wants them both fired.

Next