as retold by RepairmanBob
MR: Lex’s office at LuthorCorp. He is watching a tape of the press conference, and talking to a man. Hope is in the background, and Kahloe is sitting on the corner of his desk. On a table to the side are samples of the equipment the gang who attacked the lab used – guns, metal gloves, remote controls, visors, energy whips, and several new devices. “Dr. Hendricks, I need to know everything about this technology.”
ED: “But Mr. Luthor, I told you –“
MR: “Yes, it is like nothing you have ever seen, it is beyond anything we have in the planning stages, I know. I am not paying you to repeat yourself. Dr. Hendricks. I am paying you because you are one of the foremost experts on weapons technology in the world. I want to know everything you can tell me about these devices. How they work. What they use as a power source.”
ED: Kahloe smiles. “How quickly they can be reverse engineered and sold to the military for an absurd profit.”
MR: “Start telling me what you do know, Dr. Hendricks. I will expect a report by the end of the week.”
ED: Dr. Hendricks rushes out. Hope waits for him to leave, and walks over to Lex. Kahloe walks to the table, and examines the weapons, showing special interest in the energy whip.
AM: I…. I am a…. leaf in the …. wind.
MR: Lex suddenly looks much more tired. “Hope, double the budget to Dr. Hendricks. We need results quickly.”
ED: “Yes sir.” She continues to look at Lex. “Sir, is it really necessary? After the press conference today, I thought things were more secure.”
MR: “You are correct, Hope. The press conference was a complete success. We already have thousands of people begging us to join the Salvation Initiative testing program, and our friends at the FDA will approve our application by the end of the week. We have four treatment centers under construction, and Dr. Irons is working on the designs of mobile stations as we speak. We have taken a great step towards resolving the meta-human threat.”
ED: Kahloe looks up from the weapons table. “Tell her the truth Lex.”
MR: “Hope, these weapons disturb me. They disturb me greatly. It was bad enough when normal people had to worry about meteor freaks. But we are not alone in this universe.” (Flashes of the Disciples of Zod, Brainiac, the Zoners.) “We need to be prepared. I thought I had taken steps, that I could keep the world safe.” Lex picks up one of the guns. ”This is proof I moved too slowly.”
ED: Kahloe smiles. “No, it is proof that you were right all along. Aliens are coming to attack the earth. The meta-humans are a menace to regular, innocent people. And what is Lex Luthor going to do about it?”
MR: Lex flashes a determined smile. “I must accelerate my plans, Hope. The Salvation Initiative will turn the public to our side, blunt the effect of the Daily Planet’s article, and deal with the meta-human threat in one swift blow.”
ED: Hope says “And providing access to countless other individuals with powers?”
MR: “You should know by now, Hope, how much I value efficiency. Let us see how Dr. Richards is enjoying Cadmus Labs.”
ED: Martha’s office. She is talking to Lucius Best.
MR: “Senator Kent, the meta-human community is not a disease to be cured! We are not a problem that needs to be fixed!”
ED: “Lucius, I knew nothing about –“
MR: “Senator Kent, do you realize we are just starting to see second generation meta-humans? Meta-human artists, musicians and designers? Meta-human support groups? And now, we are all going to be rounded up like animals by Lex Luthor!”
ED: "I will not allow that to happen.”
MR: “And why should I believe you now, Senator Kent? Your predecessor in this office organized death camps for my people, if the Daily Planet is to be believed. The United States government abducted, tortured and killed my people so they can make better weapons. And now they expect us to willingly march into LuthorCorp labs? How long until I am forced to wear a red M on my clothing!”
ED: “Mr. Best, I want you to look at something. It is a bill for a Meta-Human Rights commission that I am planning on presenting to the Senate.”
MR: Lucius looks suspicious. “The last time we talked, you said something like this would be impossible. That change had to come slowly.”
ED: “The last time we talked, I did not know Lex Luthor was running camps to experiment on and kill meta-humans. I am proposing legislation to protect meta-humans, education for police and government forces on meta-human concerns, an integrated police force for areas with large meta-human populations, and protections for those who do not want to be attacked for their abilities.”
MR: Lucius reads the bill. “Senator Kent, this is… you know, many people will hate you for this.”
ED: Martha looks serious. “I did not come to Washington to be loved. I came to help people.”
ED: Los Angeles. A crowd shot, then pan close on a young woman with blond hair, sitting in an outdoor café reading a magazine. She sets it down, and we see –
TW: Supergirl?
JG: Hawkgirl?
TW: How can it be Hawkgirl? She has no wings?
AoT: Well, how does Superman fly without wings?
TW: What?
JG: Exactly.
MR: It is Lana, Ok? It is Lana.
TW: Would have rather had Supergirl.
ED: Lana looks around, and stands up. We see her walking towards a car, then two men following her.
KK: Lana being stalked. What a surprise.
TW: Allison? You aren’t going to make a crack about that one?
AM: (eyes closed) Look how I soar.
MR: (To TW) Did you drug her?
TW: (To MR) No.
MR: (To TW) I was afraid of that. (To cast) The men come up close to Lana. One of them says “Mrs. Luthor?”
ED: Lana turns around and sprays him in the face with mace. She quickly uses Lana-Fu to disable her attackers, and drives away. She pulls out a cell phone. “Lionel, this is Lana. I am coming back to Smallville.”
MR: “Are you sure about this? What about –“
ED: “This is they third team Lex has sent after me. I need to talk to Lex and finish things between us. It is the only way we can move on.”
KK: “And I want money. Lots of Lex’s money.”
TW: “And a pony.”
JG: Why would Lionel care?
MR: It will screw Lex up to talk to Lana.
JG: Ah, yes. Screwing with Lex. Now I understand.
MR: “Lana, I will text you the direction for a private airport. I will have a plane there in a few hours. I will also be sending James Olson, to help you.”
AM: (Flinches slightly) Watch… as.. I… soar.
ED: Allison?
AM: (Stands up) I think I need more air. (Walks outside)
JG: (Pulls out phone) Security? Yes, we need you back. Send men to the usual spots.
AoT: (Stands up) This is absurd! I will go talk to Allison myself.
TW: You mean body slam her?
AoT: Well, sometimes the first goes along with the second.
ED: Sometimes?
JG: (On the phone) What do you mean you cannot reach the men at the weapons locker? Send another team to check on them!
AoT: (Sits down) On the other hand, maybe Allison just needs some time to cool down.
JG: (On the phone) I don’t care how scared you are! Go do your job!
KK: (Sinister grin) I can hardly wait for next week.
continued...
7.05 Threats by MR & ED (Part VII)
as retold by RepairmanBob
MR: Lex’s pres conference. “Eventually, a few meta-humans found out about what Senator Burke was doing. The rose up, rebelled, and began to attack LuthorCorp facilities around the world. Between the damage done by terrorists like the Green Arrow and the United States government trying to hide the late Senator’s crimes, hundreds of innocent people have been hurt, abducted or killed.”
ED: The apartment. Chloe speaks in a very low, quiet voice. “I sent you my article a week ago, Clark. I played by the League’s rules, and I waited for you to look at my story on Level 33.1. The story I have been living for seven years.” Chloe starts to shout. “And you never thought to mention Lois was working the same damn thing!”
MR: “Chloe, I never thought she would go to the Daily Planet –“
KK: Clark did not think.
JG: Hardly a surprise there.
TW: Hey!
ED: “What did you think she was going to do, Clark? Give up and cry in a corner? You know Lois! You know she never gives up!”
TW: Since when?
AoT: Since Erica is writing the dialogue.
MR: Sex looks angry. “How can you still be surprised? After all these years? What you want is irrelevant to him! God, are you as dumb as this self centered buffoon? Open your eyes, woman!”
TW: Clark is not a dick!
JG: Tom, we have been over this. Sex hates Clark.
KK: And Clark can be a dick.
AoT: I thought Lana just wanted Clark’s dick.
MR: Clark says, “I am sorry Chloe. I made a mistake. Now can you just calm down? This is serious.” He pulls out one of the guns the gang used when they attacked the lab. “A group attacked a LuthorCorp lab using these weapons, and the actually hurt me. Have you ever –“
ED: “Serious? Serious? Clark, Lois scooped me and took my promotion at the Daily Planet! My dead cousin was not dead! She was in fact working on my story! The story I held back for weeks so you and Oliver could approve it! All of which was not important enough for you to bother to tell me!" In the background, objects around the room start to shake.
MR: “Chloe –“
ED: “And now you want my help? Go ask Oliver or Lois, or someone else you trust – Chloogle is closed.” Chloe walks to the door and down to the Talon, with Clark calling after her. When she gets to the floor, there are suddenly three Chloes.
JG: Hmmm, three Chloes.
ED: The Chloes split up and walk out different doors. Clark looks confused, then heads out the front door. Chloe reappears at the top of the stairs.
MR: The press conference. “Despite those setbacks, today I am happy to announce a new day. A day of hope for all of us, human and meta-human. A day I have dreamed of for almost a decade, which government interference and radical terrorism were able to delay, but not prevent. I am proud to announce the Salvation Initiative. This experimental treatment has shown tremendous promise towards curing individuals with meta-human abilities. This morning, LuthorCorp filed to begin testing of the Salvation Initiative with the FDA, and we hope to start human testing by the end of the month. Any interested parties can contact their local LuthorCorp offices, call the 1-800 number at the bottom of the screen or visit our web site. The Salvation Initiative will provide us all with a better tomorrow. Now, who has questions? Yes, Mr. Bittleman from the Daily Planet?”
ED: Martha is watching Lex’s press conference with 3-4 other senators in what looks like an upscale Washington bar.
KK: How do we know they are senators?
MR: They are old white men.
TW: Sounds about right.
MR: A fat senator turns to the man next to him and says “Sounds like Lex has a plan. Those freaks creep me out. Someone needs to do something about them.”
ED: The other man, a think, balding senator, replies “Sounds like Burke had the right idea to me. We had the draft back in my day. Why don’t we just tell them all to serve their country? Send them to the Middle East, where they can do some good?”
MR: “Are you kidding? Round them up and cure them, I say. Last thing we need is crowds of liberals crying about how we mistreat their freaks.”
ED: Martha looks concerned.
AoT: Does she say anything? I think Martha should speak up.
TW: No, you think Martha should suplex them into each other.
AoT: Nonverbal communication is important for a successful politician, if that is what you mean.
ED: Alright, we can add Martha talking to them and getting laughed off as a naive rookie. It plays well with what we have planned for later in the episode.
MR: Clark is talking to Victor about the weapon he recovered.
ED: “And you say this hurt you, Clark?”
MR: “It was not fun.”
JG: I thought Clark liked to be hurt.
KK: No he likes to be spanked.
ED: Only by Lex. “Let me take a look.” Victor examines the weapon – if we have the budget, show some stuff with his eye, like in Justice. “Clark, you got this from a gang?”
MR: “Yes, but we were in one of Lex’s labs. I thought it could be military grade, or a prototype –“
ED: “Clark, there is nothing like this in any database Queen Industries has access to. And we have access to everything. This is not a prototype, or even a proposed prototype of any weapon I have ever heard of. It is beyond cutting edge, or even theoretical cutting edge weapons technology.” Victory smiles. “And you are talking to someone who knows a little something about high tech devices. Sorry Clark, but this is like nothing I have ever seen.”
continued...
MR: Lex’s pres conference. “Eventually, a few meta-humans found out about what Senator Burke was doing. The rose up, rebelled, and began to attack LuthorCorp facilities around the world. Between the damage done by terrorists like the Green Arrow and the United States government trying to hide the late Senator’s crimes, hundreds of innocent people have been hurt, abducted or killed.”
ED: The apartment. Chloe speaks in a very low, quiet voice. “I sent you my article a week ago, Clark. I played by the League’s rules, and I waited for you to look at my story on Level 33.1. The story I have been living for seven years.” Chloe starts to shout. “And you never thought to mention Lois was working the same damn thing!”
MR: “Chloe, I never thought she would go to the Daily Planet –“
KK: Clark did not think.
JG: Hardly a surprise there.
TW: Hey!
ED: “What did you think she was going to do, Clark? Give up and cry in a corner? You know Lois! You know she never gives up!”
TW: Since when?
AoT: Since Erica is writing the dialogue.
MR: Sex looks angry. “How can you still be surprised? After all these years? What you want is irrelevant to him! God, are you as dumb as this self centered buffoon? Open your eyes, woman!”
TW: Clark is not a dick!
JG: Tom, we have been over this. Sex hates Clark.
KK: And Clark can be a dick.
AoT: I thought Lana just wanted Clark’s dick.
MR: Clark says, “I am sorry Chloe. I made a mistake. Now can you just calm down? This is serious.” He pulls out one of the guns the gang used when they attacked the lab. “A group attacked a LuthorCorp lab using these weapons, and the actually hurt me. Have you ever –“
ED: “Serious? Serious? Clark, Lois scooped me and took my promotion at the Daily Planet! My dead cousin was not dead! She was in fact working on my story! The story I held back for weeks so you and Oliver could approve it! All of which was not important enough for you to bother to tell me!" In the background, objects around the room start to shake.
MR: “Chloe –“
ED: “And now you want my help? Go ask Oliver or Lois, or someone else you trust – Chloogle is closed.” Chloe walks to the door and down to the Talon, with Clark calling after her. When she gets to the floor, there are suddenly three Chloes.
JG: Hmmm, three Chloes.
ED: The Chloes split up and walk out different doors. Clark looks confused, then heads out the front door. Chloe reappears at the top of the stairs.
MR: The press conference. “Despite those setbacks, today I am happy to announce a new day. A day of hope for all of us, human and meta-human. A day I have dreamed of for almost a decade, which government interference and radical terrorism were able to delay, but not prevent. I am proud to announce the Salvation Initiative. This experimental treatment has shown tremendous promise towards curing individuals with meta-human abilities. This morning, LuthorCorp filed to begin testing of the Salvation Initiative with the FDA, and we hope to start human testing by the end of the month. Any interested parties can contact their local LuthorCorp offices, call the 1-800 number at the bottom of the screen or visit our web site. The Salvation Initiative will provide us all with a better tomorrow. Now, who has questions? Yes, Mr. Bittleman from the Daily Planet?”
ED: Martha is watching Lex’s press conference with 3-4 other senators in what looks like an upscale Washington bar.
KK: How do we know they are senators?
MR: They are old white men.
TW: Sounds about right.
MR: A fat senator turns to the man next to him and says “Sounds like Lex has a plan. Those freaks creep me out. Someone needs to do something about them.”
ED: The other man, a think, balding senator, replies “Sounds like Burke had the right idea to me. We had the draft back in my day. Why don’t we just tell them all to serve their country? Send them to the Middle East, where they can do some good?”
MR: “Are you kidding? Round them up and cure them, I say. Last thing we need is crowds of liberals crying about how we mistreat their freaks.”
ED: Martha looks concerned.
AoT: Does she say anything? I think Martha should speak up.
TW: No, you think Martha should suplex them into each other.
AoT: Nonverbal communication is important for a successful politician, if that is what you mean.
ED: Alright, we can add Martha talking to them and getting laughed off as a naive rookie. It plays well with what we have planned for later in the episode.
MR: Clark is talking to Victor about the weapon he recovered.
ED: “And you say this hurt you, Clark?”
MR: “It was not fun.”
JG: I thought Clark liked to be hurt.
KK: No he likes to be spanked.
ED: Only by Lex. “Let me take a look.” Victor examines the weapon – if we have the budget, show some stuff with his eye, like in Justice. “Clark, you got this from a gang?”
MR: “Yes, but we were in one of Lex’s labs. I thought it could be military grade, or a prototype –“
ED: “Clark, there is nothing like this in any database Queen Industries has access to. And we have access to everything. This is not a prototype, or even a proposed prototype of any weapon I have ever heard of. It is beyond cutting edge, or even theoretical cutting edge weapons technology.” Victory smiles. “And you are talking to someone who knows a little something about high tech devices. Sorry Clark, but this is like nothing I have ever seen.”
continued...
7.05 Threats by MR & ED (Part VI)
as retold by RepairmanBob
ED: Outside the lab. Clark looks over the last of the gang members. He pulls off all of their equipment and puts it in a pile. He hears sirens, takes off.
TW: Wait, Clark leaves dangerous criminals? Unguarded?
ED: Unconscious dangerous criminals.
KK: Better that than killing them.
MR: Lex, Hope and Dr. Richards come out a different entrance. As the fire department and the police arrive, Lex calls a contact at the Metropolis PD. “And Detective Castle? The thieves stole several prototype devices from LuthorCorp, which I would appreciate having returned as soon as possible. Yes, I am glad you understand. Just send them to Dr. Hendricks at Cadmus Labs. Your help is always appreciated, Detective Castle.”
ED: Dr. Richards looks confused. “Those people used LuthorCorp devices to attack us?”
MR: Lex smiles. “As far as the police are concerned, they did, and we have the documentation to prove it. Or we will shortly. Correct, Hope?”
ED: Hope smiles, and starts to type on her Blackberry.
ED: The next day. Close up on Lois’s article on the front page of the Daily Planet. Cut to Lois proudly framing it. Lucius Best reading it and looking sickened. Martha reads is horrified. Chloe looks pissed, throws the paper into the air – it turns into an origami Lois head, then explodes.
TW: So Chloe is jealous and pissed off now?
AM: I am calm. I am at peace.
KK: I like your take on Chloe, Erica.
MR: End on Lex reading the article, with Kahloe looking on. Lex smiles, and looks at her. “Now do you understand?”
ED: “Turning an apparent setback into a complete victory. Intelligent, creative, ruthless and brave - I must say, Lex, I am impressed. She would be impressed, too.”
MR: “Yes, Lana would –“
ED: “I was not talking about Lana.” Kahloe smiles. “But you know that, don’t you?”
MR: “Of course. Let’s go talk to my public. It is time to save the world.”
MR: Lex walks to a press conference. He looks into cameras smiles. “Thank you all for coming here today. I want to talk to you all today about the problem of people with special abilities, powers beyond the imagination of normal men and women. Most have had abilities forced upon them, abilities that they cannot begin to understand or control. Abilities that hurt and kill them, and the people they love. Innocent people, like you and me, whose lives are ruined by forces beyond their control. A few even use their powers to take advantage of the rest of us – to hurt or dominate those around them. What chance does a police officer have against a man who can throw cars? Or a woman who can appear and disappear faster than thought? How can we defend ourselves when we cannot begin to understand them?”
ED: Clark knocks on the door at the to Chloe’s apartment. She opens the door, and looks rough. “Clark? What is it?”
MR: Clark comes in. “Chloe, are you alright?”
ED: “I’m fine, what do you need?”
MR: Clark looks concerned. “You don’t look fine.”
ED: “Clark, I found out Lois was alive yesterday. I am happy she is alive, and I am angry she pretended to be dead, and I feel guilty that I am pissed that at her when I should be happy she is alive, and I just…”
MR: Sex appears. “And she stole your promotion, because this one could not be bothered to review your article?"
ED: “Never mind, Clark. What can I do for you?”
MR: Clark looks annoyed. “I told Lois she should –“
ED: Chloe cuts him off and looks confused. “Hold it. You told who?”
MR: Lex’s press conference. “For years, LuthorCorp has been working on a way to help people with meta-human abilities. To cure those who have been cursed with abilities they cannot control, to stop those who are threats to normal people like you and I. The United States government, lead by late Senator Burke, disagreed with us. They corrupted LuthorCorp’s noble goal so they could make superhuman weapons - Persons of Mass Destruction. They stole our research, threatened my staff and betrayed the trust of the American public. When I tried to stop them I was framed for murder and my good name was slandered by publications like the Daily Planet.”
JG: I am most impressed with these speeches. Michael.
AoT: Why does Lex only seem to plan well in episodes Michael writes?
MR: Because not everyone (glares at AM and KK) is doing their job.
JG: I disagree. Making Lex look bad is my job.
TW: That and threatening the catering staff.
JG: That is more of a hobby.
ED: The apartment. “You knew? You knew she was alive and you did not tell me? How could you, Clark?”
MR: “Chloe, she begged me not to say anything.”
ED: “Oh that makes it alright.” Chloe starts to get choked up.
MR: Sex appears. “Oh, it is always alright when Clark Kent keeps secrets. He must have his reasons. After all, that is what you always told yourself for years and years. Why doesn’t he trust me? Why doesn’t he tell me what is going on? Why does he lie to me? It is Clark – there must be a good reason. After a while, you even started to believe it.”
TW: Oh, come on.
JG: Sounds pretty accurate to me.
MR: Clark tries to explain. “Chloe, I just found out Lois was alive a few weeks ago. She appeared at Lex’s final Level 33.1 base and saved us all.”
ED: “She what?”
MR: Sex smirks. “You are forbidden to go help the League, but Lois gets to save them all?”
TW: Erica, why is Chloe such a bitch here?
ED: She is not a bitch! She is just dealing with a lot of feelings. This will give Allison a great chance to stretch those acting skills. Right, Alli?
AM: (Eyes closed) I… am…a… leaf… on… the… wind.
MR: Clark says, “She made me promise not to tell anyone.”
ED: “And you agreed? What the hell us wrong with you?”
MR: “Chloe, I thought she just needed some time to get herself together. Lois pretended to be dead for months to try to take down Lex. After all her work, she said no one would take an article in the Inquisitor seriously and –“ Clark stops when he sees the expression on Chloe’s face.
ED: Chloe looks like she has been slapped. She says very quietly “What did you say?”
MR: Sex says “Oh yes. Clark does love to keep his secrets.”
continued...
ED: Outside the lab. Clark looks over the last of the gang members. He pulls off all of their equipment and puts it in a pile. He hears sirens, takes off.
TW: Wait, Clark leaves dangerous criminals? Unguarded?
ED: Unconscious dangerous criminals.
KK: Better that than killing them.
MR: Lex, Hope and Dr. Richards come out a different entrance. As the fire department and the police arrive, Lex calls a contact at the Metropolis PD. “And Detective Castle? The thieves stole several prototype devices from LuthorCorp, which I would appreciate having returned as soon as possible. Yes, I am glad you understand. Just send them to Dr. Hendricks at Cadmus Labs. Your help is always appreciated, Detective Castle.”
ED: Dr. Richards looks confused. “Those people used LuthorCorp devices to attack us?”
MR: Lex smiles. “As far as the police are concerned, they did, and we have the documentation to prove it. Or we will shortly. Correct, Hope?”
ED: Hope smiles, and starts to type on her Blackberry.
ED: The next day. Close up on Lois’s article on the front page of the Daily Planet. Cut to Lois proudly framing it. Lucius Best reading it and looking sickened. Martha reads is horrified. Chloe looks pissed, throws the paper into the air – it turns into an origami Lois head, then explodes.
TW: So Chloe is jealous and pissed off now?
AM: I am calm. I am at peace.
KK: I like your take on Chloe, Erica.
MR: End on Lex reading the article, with Kahloe looking on. Lex smiles, and looks at her. “Now do you understand?”
ED: “Turning an apparent setback into a complete victory. Intelligent, creative, ruthless and brave - I must say, Lex, I am impressed. She would be impressed, too.”
MR: “Yes, Lana would –“
ED: “I was not talking about Lana.” Kahloe smiles. “But you know that, don’t you?”
MR: “Of course. Let’s go talk to my public. It is time to save the world.”
MR: Lex walks to a press conference. He looks into cameras smiles. “Thank you all for coming here today. I want to talk to you all today about the problem of people with special abilities, powers beyond the imagination of normal men and women. Most have had abilities forced upon them, abilities that they cannot begin to understand or control. Abilities that hurt and kill them, and the people they love. Innocent people, like you and me, whose lives are ruined by forces beyond their control. A few even use their powers to take advantage of the rest of us – to hurt or dominate those around them. What chance does a police officer have against a man who can throw cars? Or a woman who can appear and disappear faster than thought? How can we defend ourselves when we cannot begin to understand them?”
ED: Clark knocks on the door at the to Chloe’s apartment. She opens the door, and looks rough. “Clark? What is it?”
MR: Clark comes in. “Chloe, are you alright?”
ED: “I’m fine, what do you need?”
MR: Clark looks concerned. “You don’t look fine.”
ED: “Clark, I found out Lois was alive yesterday. I am happy she is alive, and I am angry she pretended to be dead, and I feel guilty that I am pissed that at her when I should be happy she is alive, and I just…”
MR: Sex appears. “And she stole your promotion, because this one could not be bothered to review your article?"
ED: “Never mind, Clark. What can I do for you?”
MR: Clark looks annoyed. “I told Lois she should –“
ED: Chloe cuts him off and looks confused. “Hold it. You told who?”
MR: Lex’s press conference. “For years, LuthorCorp has been working on a way to help people with meta-human abilities. To cure those who have been cursed with abilities they cannot control, to stop those who are threats to normal people like you and I. The United States government, lead by late Senator Burke, disagreed with us. They corrupted LuthorCorp’s noble goal so they could make superhuman weapons - Persons of Mass Destruction. They stole our research, threatened my staff and betrayed the trust of the American public. When I tried to stop them I was framed for murder and my good name was slandered by publications like the Daily Planet.”
JG: I am most impressed with these speeches. Michael.
AoT: Why does Lex only seem to plan well in episodes Michael writes?
MR: Because not everyone (glares at AM and KK) is doing their job.
JG: I disagree. Making Lex look bad is my job.
TW: That and threatening the catering staff.
JG: That is more of a hobby.
ED: The apartment. “You knew? You knew she was alive and you did not tell me? How could you, Clark?”
MR: “Chloe, she begged me not to say anything.”
ED: “Oh that makes it alright.” Chloe starts to get choked up.
MR: Sex appears. “Oh, it is always alright when Clark Kent keeps secrets. He must have his reasons. After all, that is what you always told yourself for years and years. Why doesn’t he trust me? Why doesn’t he tell me what is going on? Why does he lie to me? It is Clark – there must be a good reason. After a while, you even started to believe it.”
TW: Oh, come on.
JG: Sounds pretty accurate to me.
MR: Clark tries to explain. “Chloe, I just found out Lois was alive a few weeks ago. She appeared at Lex’s final Level 33.1 base and saved us all.”
ED: “She what?”
MR: Sex smirks. “You are forbidden to go help the League, but Lois gets to save them all?”
TW: Erica, why is Chloe such a bitch here?
ED: She is not a bitch! She is just dealing with a lot of feelings. This will give Allison a great chance to stretch those acting skills. Right, Alli?
AM: (Eyes closed) I… am…a… leaf… on… the… wind.
MR: Clark says, “She made me promise not to tell anyone.”
ED: “And you agreed? What the hell us wrong with you?”
MR: “Chloe, I thought she just needed some time to get herself together. Lois pretended to be dead for months to try to take down Lex. After all her work, she said no one would take an article in the Inquisitor seriously and –“ Clark stops when he sees the expression on Chloe’s face.
ED: Chloe looks like she has been slapped. She says very quietly “What did you say?”
MR: Sex says “Oh yes. Clark does love to keep his secrets.”
continued...
7.05 Threats by MR & ED (Part V)
as retold by RepairmanBob
MR: Back at Lex’s lab.
AoT: And nipple clamp factory.
(AM walks in, and sits down without saying a word.)
TW: Allison, are you –
AM: I am fine, Tom. I am calm. I am a leaf on the wind.
AoT: I have always felt meditation was very calming, Allison. I am glad you read that book I lent you.
AM: Yes, Zen and the Art of Kicking Ass was very fulfilling, Annette. (Looks around the table with a serene expression.) Very fulfilling.
ED: The gang members rush inside the warehouse, using high-tech weapons to kill security guards and scientists. One member corners a woman, who begs for mercy. He smirks, lifts his gun - and flies into the air.
JG: 30 feet?
MR: Probably 15 – cheaper to shoot. Clark offers the woman his hand. “Get out of here and call the police, ma’am.”
ED: Cut to Lex, Hope and Dr. Richards in the main lab. Hope and Lex are working frantically on computer systems.
MR: “Hope, have you finished downloading all of the back-up files?”
ED: “Yes sir.”
MR: “Then start the data wipe program.”
ED: Dr. Richards – “Data wipe?”
MR: Lex has a frustrated smirk. “After my recent setbacks, all LuthorCorp facilities have procedures to delete evidence of any projects that are being conducted. It helps prevent industrial espionage and accidental leaks to the press.”
ED: “But my work –“
MR: “Will be continued at an alternate site. It is time to go, Dr, Richards.”
ED: Two gang members rush into the room. One of them throws Dr. Richards into a stationary lab unit. We see a container of light orange liquid fall over and flow into other samples.
MR: The gang members point their guns at Lex and Hope. “Looks like we have a bonus. Tell the Boss.” One of them picks up a cell phone, while the other smiles at Lex.
ED: Kahloe appears. “Wait for the right moment.”
MR: As soon as they take their eyes off Hope, she pulls out a gun and starts firing. The bullets bounce off force fields.
ED: Cut to the lab unit. A display screen lights up. “Experiment Two Initiated.” We see the orange liquid mixing with the other samples, and start to bubble.
MR: The guard who was holding watching Lex slaps Hope. “Stupid move, bitch.” He lifts her into the air with one arm and starts to choke her – we see he is wearing the same metal gloves from earlier in the episode.
ED: Hope makes eye contact with Lex. Sex says, “She can take it. You only have one chance.”
MR: Lex moves behind the second guard, who has the cell phone and has turned to watch Hope being choked. Lex pulls out his own pistol and presses it against the man’s back and fires twice. The first guard turns and pulls his gun. He shoots at Lex, who uses the dead guard as a shield.
JG: More quality use of minions.
KK: Since when is Lex such a good shot? Shouldn’t a paper airplane or something have knocked him out?
MR: Since I am writing the episode.
ED: Hope stretches out her right arm, and a knife falls into her palm. She slashes the arm of the first guard, who drops her.
MR: Lex shoots twice. The force field flashes, and the man looks at Lex. He starts to raise the gun again, and Hope slashes his throat. He falls to the ground. Lex walks over, and shoots him in the head. He looks calmly at Hope. "Well done. Dr. Richards, lock and secure the door. Hope, help me get the security cameras back on line - I want a look at the Boss these two mentioned."
JG: I believe I like this version of Lex. He just executed two people in cold blood. Finally, a son Lionel can be proud of.
ED: Daily Planet. Kahn brings Lois to the office she will be sharing with Bittleman, while he helps her get used to working at the Planet.
MR: Bittleman. “No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It is bad enough you stuck me with this clueless rookie who fell” (Looks at Lois’s chest) “tits first by the look of her into the luckiest story of all time, but there no way she is going to be sharing my office!”
ED: Lois – “Can I just –“
MR: “Zip it, Cinderella, and I call you Cinderella because this has to be a Disney movie where a young, blond ditz magically gets to work at greatest paper in the world with the greatest reporter in the world because her fairy godmother heard her secret dream while she pole danced at the local strip club.” Bittleman looks at Kahn. “Then again, maybe it was your Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Fairy Godmother who helped you, since Kahn is showing the age lines these days.”
TW: Erica, you let this into the script?
ED: I liked the snappy dialogue.
MR: And I have been watching House and Scrubs.
ED: Kahn ignores Bittleman’s tantrum. “Are you finished yet?”
MR: “No, I have not yet begun to –“
ED: “That was a rhetorical question. Lane has the front page tomorrow. Get her up to speed on how the Planet works, get her set up, and get me some replies from Luthor.”
MR: “Why should I –“
ED: “Because you pissed me off, and it amuses me to make you unhappy. Lane – good first story. I expect the next one to be better. Get to it!” Kahn leaves. Bittleman looks pissed, glares at Kahn, then at Lois, then storm out and slams the door. Lois looks around the office slightly shell-shocked. “Hurray?”
MR: The lab. Clark overpowers the rest of the gang, then is shot in the chest. He flies back, then dodges three more shots. He uses his heat vision to knock the gun out of someone’s hands. He runs up and grabs the last man – the Boss. “Hello, Kal-El. I was wondering when you would show up.”
ED: Clark looks surprised. “How do you know that name? What are you doing here?”
MR: The Boss smiles. “You can call me Mr. Hassad. I know all about you, Kal-El. What you have done, what you will do in the future. What the Kryptonians have been doing to the people of this world for centuries.”
ED: Clark looks shocked “What do you know about Krypton?”
MR: “I could answer your questions, Kal-El, but what fun would that be?” Mr. Hassad lifts his arms, and liquid fire pours out. It moves around Clark, and sets the lab on fire. “Simple choice, Kal-El. Stop the villain, or save the primates who attacked you. They are killers, one and all, and they deserve to burn – but you make the choice. I am leaving.” Mr. Hassad smiles and backs away, never turning his back on Clark.
ED: Clark glares, the runs through the building, picking up the bodies of the gang members. Cut to outside the building, where a pile of unconscious bodies quickly grows. Cut to Clark hearing Mr. Hassad speaking.
MR: “I will see you soon, Kal-El.”
MR: Inside the main lab, Lex sees a video of Mr. Hassad setting the building on fire. “I believe it is time to go. Hope – get all of the equipment off of these men. Dr. Richards – make sure all the remaining samples are set to self-destruct. I need to download these video files.”
ED: Dr. Richards moves to the lab station we have been watching. His eyes light up. “Mr. Luthor, you need to see this.”
MR: “This is not a good time, Dr. Richards.”
ED: “But Mr. Luthor –“ Kahloe says “Lex, this is important.”
MR: Lex turns around, rips open the front of the lab station and pulls out the CPU. The machines smoking and sparking – Lex’s hands are burned when he pulls it out. “We are leaving.”
AM: Looks like Lex has been taking tips from Clark about computer repair.
continued...
MR: Back at Lex’s lab.
AoT: And nipple clamp factory.
(AM walks in, and sits down without saying a word.)
TW: Allison, are you –
AM: I am fine, Tom. I am calm. I am a leaf on the wind.
AoT: I have always felt meditation was very calming, Allison. I am glad you read that book I lent you.
AM: Yes, Zen and the Art of Kicking Ass was very fulfilling, Annette. (Looks around the table with a serene expression.) Very fulfilling.
ED: The gang members rush inside the warehouse, using high-tech weapons to kill security guards and scientists. One member corners a woman, who begs for mercy. He smirks, lifts his gun - and flies into the air.
JG: 30 feet?
MR: Probably 15 – cheaper to shoot. Clark offers the woman his hand. “Get out of here and call the police, ma’am.”
ED: Cut to Lex, Hope and Dr. Richards in the main lab. Hope and Lex are working frantically on computer systems.
MR: “Hope, have you finished downloading all of the back-up files?”
ED: “Yes sir.”
MR: “Then start the data wipe program.”
ED: Dr. Richards – “Data wipe?”
MR: Lex has a frustrated smirk. “After my recent setbacks, all LuthorCorp facilities have procedures to delete evidence of any projects that are being conducted. It helps prevent industrial espionage and accidental leaks to the press.”
ED: “But my work –“
MR: “Will be continued at an alternate site. It is time to go, Dr, Richards.”
ED: Two gang members rush into the room. One of them throws Dr. Richards into a stationary lab unit. We see a container of light orange liquid fall over and flow into other samples.
MR: The gang members point their guns at Lex and Hope. “Looks like we have a bonus. Tell the Boss.” One of them picks up a cell phone, while the other smiles at Lex.
ED: Kahloe appears. “Wait for the right moment.”
MR: As soon as they take their eyes off Hope, she pulls out a gun and starts firing. The bullets bounce off force fields.
ED: Cut to the lab unit. A display screen lights up. “Experiment Two Initiated.” We see the orange liquid mixing with the other samples, and start to bubble.
MR: The guard who was holding watching Lex slaps Hope. “Stupid move, bitch.” He lifts her into the air with one arm and starts to choke her – we see he is wearing the same metal gloves from earlier in the episode.
ED: Hope makes eye contact with Lex. Sex says, “She can take it. You only have one chance.”
MR: Lex moves behind the second guard, who has the cell phone and has turned to watch Hope being choked. Lex pulls out his own pistol and presses it against the man’s back and fires twice. The first guard turns and pulls his gun. He shoots at Lex, who uses the dead guard as a shield.
JG: More quality use of minions.
KK: Since when is Lex such a good shot? Shouldn’t a paper airplane or something have knocked him out?
MR: Since I am writing the episode.
ED: Hope stretches out her right arm, and a knife falls into her palm. She slashes the arm of the first guard, who drops her.
MR: Lex shoots twice. The force field flashes, and the man looks at Lex. He starts to raise the gun again, and Hope slashes his throat. He falls to the ground. Lex walks over, and shoots him in the head. He looks calmly at Hope. "Well done. Dr. Richards, lock and secure the door. Hope, help me get the security cameras back on line - I want a look at the Boss these two mentioned."
JG: I believe I like this version of Lex. He just executed two people in cold blood. Finally, a son Lionel can be proud of.
ED: Daily Planet. Kahn brings Lois to the office she will be sharing with Bittleman, while he helps her get used to working at the Planet.
MR: Bittleman. “No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It is bad enough you stuck me with this clueless rookie who fell” (Looks at Lois’s chest) “tits first by the look of her into the luckiest story of all time, but there no way she is going to be sharing my office!”
ED: Lois – “Can I just –“
MR: “Zip it, Cinderella, and I call you Cinderella because this has to be a Disney movie where a young, blond ditz magically gets to work at greatest paper in the world with the greatest reporter in the world because her fairy godmother heard her secret dream while she pole danced at the local strip club.” Bittleman looks at Kahn. “Then again, maybe it was your Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Fairy Godmother who helped you, since Kahn is showing the age lines these days.”
TW: Erica, you let this into the script?
ED: I liked the snappy dialogue.
MR: And I have been watching House and Scrubs.
ED: Kahn ignores Bittleman’s tantrum. “Are you finished yet?”
MR: “No, I have not yet begun to –“
ED: “That was a rhetorical question. Lane has the front page tomorrow. Get her up to speed on how the Planet works, get her set up, and get me some replies from Luthor.”
MR: “Why should I –“
ED: “Because you pissed me off, and it amuses me to make you unhappy. Lane – good first story. I expect the next one to be better. Get to it!” Kahn leaves. Bittleman looks pissed, glares at Kahn, then at Lois, then storm out and slams the door. Lois looks around the office slightly shell-shocked. “Hurray?”
MR: The lab. Clark overpowers the rest of the gang, then is shot in the chest. He flies back, then dodges three more shots. He uses his heat vision to knock the gun out of someone’s hands. He runs up and grabs the last man – the Boss. “Hello, Kal-El. I was wondering when you would show up.”
ED: Clark looks surprised. “How do you know that name? What are you doing here?”
MR: The Boss smiles. “You can call me Mr. Hassad. I know all about you, Kal-El. What you have done, what you will do in the future. What the Kryptonians have been doing to the people of this world for centuries.”
ED: Clark looks shocked “What do you know about Krypton?”
MR: “I could answer your questions, Kal-El, but what fun would that be?” Mr. Hassad lifts his arms, and liquid fire pours out. It moves around Clark, and sets the lab on fire. “Simple choice, Kal-El. Stop the villain, or save the primates who attacked you. They are killers, one and all, and they deserve to burn – but you make the choice. I am leaving.” Mr. Hassad smiles and backs away, never turning his back on Clark.
ED: Clark glares, the runs through the building, picking up the bodies of the gang members. Cut to outside the building, where a pile of unconscious bodies quickly grows. Cut to Clark hearing Mr. Hassad speaking.
MR: “I will see you soon, Kal-El.”
MR: Inside the main lab, Lex sees a video of Mr. Hassad setting the building on fire. “I believe it is time to go. Hope – get all of the equipment off of these men. Dr. Richards – make sure all the remaining samples are set to self-destruct. I need to download these video files.”
ED: Dr. Richards moves to the lab station we have been watching. His eyes light up. “Mr. Luthor, you need to see this.”
MR: “This is not a good time, Dr. Richards.”
ED: “But Mr. Luthor –“ Kahloe says “Lex, this is important.”
MR: Lex turns around, rips open the front of the lab station and pulls out the CPU. The machines smoking and sparking – Lex’s hands are burned when he pulls it out. “We are leaving.”
AM: Looks like Lex has been taking tips from Clark about computer repair.
continued...
7.05 Threats by MR & ED (Part IV)
as retold by RepairmanBob
ED: The Daily Planet. “This was your story, Chloe? How long were you going to wait to publish it? How many people were going to die before you did something about it?”
MR: Sex appears. “Too bad Clark did not get back to you last week with your article.”
ED: “I was not willing to wait. Some one had to stand up to Lex and stop what he was doing. No one else would be hurt like Wes.”
JG: Since when does Lois talk like that?
AoT: Since Erica decided she wanted an Emmy.
MR: Kahn looks at Chloe. “Your cousin got the big story, Sullivan. You should be more like her. That kind of attitude is why she is starting at the City Desk, and you are still in the basement”
ED: Chloe is speechless.
KK: (Looks at AM) You have that down. (Laughs)
ED: "Yes, I considered you for the promotion, Sullivan. Hell, after that article on Lex's pet soldiers a few months ago, I was just about ready to hand it to you. But since then, your work as gone to hell. You articles are always a day or two late, your facts are not as tight, and what was the last major story you broke?"
TW: Wait, why is this happening?
JG: Chloe agreed to get the Clark and the League to approve all of her stories on Lex. She is leaving facts out, or being censored by Clark and Ollie.
TW: But, that makes Clark look like an -
MR: Like an ass. Yes, that was the point.
AM: (Still looks dazed)
ED: Ah, who cares! The girls get to work together! Lois is overjoyed. She thanks Kahn, and rushes over and hugs Chloe. So, how does everyone like it? Lois is at the Daily Planet!
KK: (Grinning, looking at AM) Erica, I can honestly say this is the happiest I have ever been with your writing.
AoT: It certainly is a good turn for your character.
TW: (To MR) Allison is still not talking.
MR: (To TW) This is bad.
JG : (Moves slowly away from the table, puts a hand under his jacket)
AM: (Slowly stands up) I need to get some air.
ED: But how do you like it Allison? We have Lois at the Daily Planet!
AM: (Long, ambiguous look at ED) I need to get some air.
(AM starts walks to the door of the room. Just before she opens to door, KK speaks up).
KK: How do you like those network mandates now, Allison?
(AM turns around, and throws KK a look of pure disgust, then walks out).
ED: Did she like it?
TW+MR: Shit.
TW: (Stands up) I’ll go talk to her.
ED: She liked it, right?
AoT: Go quickly, before she gets to the catering truck.
JG: (Pulls out cell phone) I’ll have security send more guards to the weapons locker.
KK: We have a weapons locker?
JG: Where else would we keep the dart guns?
AoT: Send some people to watch the trailers as well.
MR: And our cars.
ED: Allison liked my scene, right? Right?
KK: I liked it enough for both of us.
MR: OK, new addition. When Lois hugs Chloe, Sex asks "So, how do you feel, Chloe? How do you really feel?" We pan back, to a full view of Kahn's office. Wait one second, and all the windows explode.
ED: What? Why would Chloe do that?
(The rest of the cast looks at ED in shock. KK starts laughing uncontrollably)
ED: What?
JG: How do you not understand this?
MR: Erica, did Allison look happy to you?
ED: Well, maybe a little surprised, but -
KK: (Still laughing) She is pissed! Oh, this is great! Hahahahhah... Oh, Erica, I love you! Even I could never figure out a way to take the Daily Planet away from Chloe!
ED: But I just -
AoT: You put Lois Lane in the Daily Planet.
JG: You trapped Chloe Sullivan in the basement.
MR: You took the Level 33.1 story that has been tied to Chloe's character for years away and gave to Lois.
KK: (stands up, hugs ED) Thank you! I am so happy!
MR: Back to Clark. He has follows the gang who attacked the LuthorCorp truck to another building. He watches from a distance and the leader from the teaser uses his remote control to open the doors.
ED: Cut inside to Hope, Lex and Dr, Richards in the lab. Alarms and flashing red lights go off. Lex rushes to a bank of monitors, which shows the gang members quickly overpowering his guards. Cut to one man in particular, who is giving orders. “Take any lab equipment and research. This is our largest job yet, and it needs to be perfect.” It is the boss from 7.02.
KK: The guy who slit someone’s throat?
JG: Now that is a man who knows how to control his minions. I bet he and Lionel went to college together.
ED: Lois follows Chloe outside of Kahn’s office.
MR: OK, we are going to make some changes, based on... recent events.
ED: I really thought Allison would be happy we were working together more.
TW: (Walks back inside) Allison will be back in a minute. She needed some air.
JG: (Cell phone rings) Weapons locker is secure? Good man.
MR: Chloe and Lois are arguing. Chloe rants that this was her big break, that Jimmy told her she was one big story away from the City Desk job.
ED: Lois looks at her sadly. “Chloe, I told Kahn I did not want the position if it meant taking it from you. I just wanted to let the world know what Lex was doing, and no one would believe it if they saw it in the Inquisitor.”
MR: Chloe looks like she has been slapped “But Jimmy said–“
ED: “Jimmy is a great guy and one hell of a photographer, but as an investigator… well, he thought hooking me up with Clark was a good idea. Enough said. "
MR: “But –“
ED: Lois tries to look compassionate. “Chloe, do you know what Bittleman said? People call you PodChloe behind your back. Kahn said you lost your edge – the drive the be the best reporter in the world. I don’t know what is going on, but I did not steal this job from you, and I am not going to apologize for earning it on my own.”
TW: (Muttering to himself) Please stay outside, please stay outside, please stay outside.
ED: Chloe turns away, looking hurt. Lois grabs Chloe’s shoulder, and we hear her voice - Michael, are you sure about this?
MR: Just go with it, Erica.
ED: Fine, fine. We hear Lois say "How can she be so jealous? I thought Chloe would be happy I was alive, but all she cares about is this stupid story! Damn, what is wrong with her?"
MR: Sex next to Chloe. "She doesn't even care about the story. She stole your promotion and your story, and they are both meaningless to her. How lovely. Nice to see helping Clark and his Boy's Club, playing by their rules and being a Good Little Girl, has paid off so well for you."
ED: Still hearing Lois's thoughts. "I can't believe she is so selfish right now. Why is this all about her?"
MR: Sex says "Yes, since you always make everything all about Chloe. No, wait, that would be the cousin who faked her death to steal your job, or the farm boy who could not be bothered to get back to you on this very article. Does she really understand you this poorly?"
ED: But Lois did not steal her job! Chloe wasn't going to get it anyway!
KK: That is what makes it so funny!
ED: Lois talks out loud. "Chloe, say something."
MR: Chloe replies, "I need to go."
KK: It is just like real life!
ED: Lois tightens her grip. "No, we need to talk. Now."
MR: Chloe's voice drops for a second. "I said. Let. Go!" Chloe pushes Lois away – and over a nearby desk.
ED: When Lois gets up, Chloe is gone. Kahn yells “Get you ass in gear, Lane! We have work to do!” Lois follow Kahn, and in the background we se a door open by itself.
continued...
ED: The Daily Planet. “This was your story, Chloe? How long were you going to wait to publish it? How many people were going to die before you did something about it?”
MR: Sex appears. “Too bad Clark did not get back to you last week with your article.”
ED: “I was not willing to wait. Some one had to stand up to Lex and stop what he was doing. No one else would be hurt like Wes.”
JG: Since when does Lois talk like that?
AoT: Since Erica decided she wanted an Emmy.
MR: Kahn looks at Chloe. “Your cousin got the big story, Sullivan. You should be more like her. That kind of attitude is why she is starting at the City Desk, and you are still in the basement”
ED: Chloe is speechless.
KK: (Looks at AM) You have that down. (Laughs)
ED: "Yes, I considered you for the promotion, Sullivan. Hell, after that article on Lex's pet soldiers a few months ago, I was just about ready to hand it to you. But since then, your work as gone to hell. You articles are always a day or two late, your facts are not as tight, and what was the last major story you broke?"
TW: Wait, why is this happening?
JG: Chloe agreed to get the Clark and the League to approve all of her stories on Lex. She is leaving facts out, or being censored by Clark and Ollie.
TW: But, that makes Clark look like an -
MR: Like an ass. Yes, that was the point.
AM: (Still looks dazed)
ED: Ah, who cares! The girls get to work together! Lois is overjoyed. She thanks Kahn, and rushes over and hugs Chloe. So, how does everyone like it? Lois is at the Daily Planet!
KK: (Grinning, looking at AM) Erica, I can honestly say this is the happiest I have ever been with your writing.
AoT: It certainly is a good turn for your character.
TW: (To MR) Allison is still not talking.
MR: (To TW) This is bad.
JG : (Moves slowly away from the table, puts a hand under his jacket)
AM: (Slowly stands up) I need to get some air.
ED: But how do you like it Allison? We have Lois at the Daily Planet!
AM: (Long, ambiguous look at ED) I need to get some air.
(AM starts walks to the door of the room. Just before she opens to door, KK speaks up).
KK: How do you like those network mandates now, Allison?
(AM turns around, and throws KK a look of pure disgust, then walks out).
ED: Did she like it?
TW+MR: Shit.
TW: (Stands up) I’ll go talk to her.
ED: She liked it, right?
AoT: Go quickly, before she gets to the catering truck.
JG: (Pulls out cell phone) I’ll have security send more guards to the weapons locker.
KK: We have a weapons locker?
JG: Where else would we keep the dart guns?
AoT: Send some people to watch the trailers as well.
MR: And our cars.
ED: Allison liked my scene, right? Right?
KK: I liked it enough for both of us.
MR: OK, new addition. When Lois hugs Chloe, Sex asks "So, how do you feel, Chloe? How do you really feel?" We pan back, to a full view of Kahn's office. Wait one second, and all the windows explode.
ED: What? Why would Chloe do that?
(The rest of the cast looks at ED in shock. KK starts laughing uncontrollably)
ED: What?
JG: How do you not understand this?
MR: Erica, did Allison look happy to you?
ED: Well, maybe a little surprised, but -
KK: (Still laughing) She is pissed! Oh, this is great! Hahahahhah... Oh, Erica, I love you! Even I could never figure out a way to take the Daily Planet away from Chloe!
ED: But I just -
AoT: You put Lois Lane in the Daily Planet.
JG: You trapped Chloe Sullivan in the basement.
MR: You took the Level 33.1 story that has been tied to Chloe's character for years away and gave to Lois.
KK: (stands up, hugs ED) Thank you! I am so happy!
MR: Back to Clark. He has follows the gang who attacked the LuthorCorp truck to another building. He watches from a distance and the leader from the teaser uses his remote control to open the doors.
ED: Cut inside to Hope, Lex and Dr, Richards in the lab. Alarms and flashing red lights go off. Lex rushes to a bank of monitors, which shows the gang members quickly overpowering his guards. Cut to one man in particular, who is giving orders. “Take any lab equipment and research. This is our largest job yet, and it needs to be perfect.” It is the boss from 7.02.
KK: The guy who slit someone’s throat?
JG: Now that is a man who knows how to control his minions. I bet he and Lionel went to college together.
ED: Lois follows Chloe outside of Kahn’s office.
MR: OK, we are going to make some changes, based on... recent events.
ED: I really thought Allison would be happy we were working together more.
TW: (Walks back inside) Allison will be back in a minute. She needed some air.
JG: (Cell phone rings) Weapons locker is secure? Good man.
MR: Chloe and Lois are arguing. Chloe rants that this was her big break, that Jimmy told her she was one big story away from the City Desk job.
ED: Lois looks at her sadly. “Chloe, I told Kahn I did not want the position if it meant taking it from you. I just wanted to let the world know what Lex was doing, and no one would believe it if they saw it in the Inquisitor.”
MR: Chloe looks like she has been slapped “But Jimmy said–“
ED: “Jimmy is a great guy and one hell of a photographer, but as an investigator… well, he thought hooking me up with Clark was a good idea. Enough said. "
MR: “But –“
ED: Lois tries to look compassionate. “Chloe, do you know what Bittleman said? People call you PodChloe behind your back. Kahn said you lost your edge – the drive the be the best reporter in the world. I don’t know what is going on, but I did not steal this job from you, and I am not going to apologize for earning it on my own.”
TW: (Muttering to himself) Please stay outside, please stay outside, please stay outside.
ED: Chloe turns away, looking hurt. Lois grabs Chloe’s shoulder, and we hear her voice - Michael, are you sure about this?
MR: Just go with it, Erica.
ED: Fine, fine. We hear Lois say "How can she be so jealous? I thought Chloe would be happy I was alive, but all she cares about is this stupid story! Damn, what is wrong with her?"
MR: Sex next to Chloe. "She doesn't even care about the story. She stole your promotion and your story, and they are both meaningless to her. How lovely. Nice to see helping Clark and his Boy's Club, playing by their rules and being a Good Little Girl, has paid off so well for you."
ED: Still hearing Lois's thoughts. "I can't believe she is so selfish right now. Why is this all about her?"
MR: Sex says "Yes, since you always make everything all about Chloe. No, wait, that would be the cousin who faked her death to steal your job, or the farm boy who could not be bothered to get back to you on this very article. Does she really understand you this poorly?"
ED: But Lois did not steal her job! Chloe wasn't going to get it anyway!
KK: That is what makes it so funny!
ED: Lois talks out loud. "Chloe, say something."
MR: Chloe replies, "I need to go."
KK: It is just like real life!
ED: Lois tightens her grip. "No, we need to talk. Now."
MR: Chloe's voice drops for a second. "I said. Let. Go!" Chloe pushes Lois away – and over a nearby desk.
ED: When Lois gets up, Chloe is gone. Kahn yells “Get you ass in gear, Lane! We have work to do!” Lois follow Kahn, and in the background we se a door open by itself.
continued...
7.05 Threats by MR & ED (Part III)
as retold by RepairmanBob
MR: The apartment. Chloe is in the shower, Sex is glaring at an illusion of Clark.
AM: With suppressed lust?
KK: Or not-so-suppressed lust?
MR: More like loathing. “She deserves better than you, a small-minded hypocrite who is happy to hide on the farm, pining and brooding while the world burns." Sex waves his arm, and a smiling Jimmy illusion appears. "Or a mediocre little boy, who drags her down while demanding constant validation and praise. Pathetic.” He makes a gesture, and Clark and Jimmy are wearing sun dresses.
TW: Why is Clark is a dress?
MR: Because sailor suits is too predictable. “She deserves someone worthy of her. Who would value and respect her.”
AM: This is a little creepy.
MR: Sex walks closer to the Clark illusion.
JG: And kisses it?
MR: “She deserves greatness. She deserves him. And I will help her see that.”
MR: Downtown Metropolis, outside the Daily Planet. Clark runs into scene, holding a folder in his hand. He glances at it – LuthorCorp Experimenting on Meta-Humans! Is Lex Luthor Building A Super Army? By Chloe Sullivan.
ED: A LuthorCorp tractor trailer pulls into the street in front of Clark. Suddenly, a group of people in black outfits appear. Three of them pull out ray guns, and shoot out the tires of the tractor trailer.
MR: The truck jack-knifes and heads towards the crowds on the sidewalk. Clark rushes out, and stops the truck. He runs towards one the men in black
AM: And they zap him with a mind-wipe ray?
JG: I think that has happened to the characters on a regular basis already.
KK: I wish it happened to me last season.
AM: So does most of the audience.
KK: God help me, I actually agree with Allison.
MR: One of the men shoot Clark. He is knocked ten feet in the air, and into the wall of a nearby building.
ED: A woman pulls out a lightsaber –
JG: Someone call Lucas and apologize.
ED: Ok, an energy whip, and slices through the side of the truck. Two men rush in, and carry out massive high-tech devices.
MR: Cut to Clark, who looks dazed. The file with Chloe’s article has been destroyed.
MR: Chloe’s desk at the Daily Planet. Jimmy is wishing her luck about going directly to Kahn and asking for the City Desk job. “She will love it! If there is one thing Kahn respects, it is people who take charge and go for what they want. Goodbye basement, hello Tiffany Lamps!”
ED: “Thanks, Jimmy.”
JG: I am getting a little nauseous.
MR: “You can do I, Bright Eyes. Go knock her out!”
JG: That did it. Now I do feel ill.
AM: I don’t see – (Looks at AoT), never mind.
AoT: (slight smile)
ED: Chloe walks away, looking around for Clark. She tries to call him on her cell phone – no pick up. “Clark Kent, I am so going to kick your ass if you screw this up.” She checks her back-up article – Crime Wave in Small American Town – What is the Secret Behind Smallville’s Big City Murder Rate? By Chloe Sullivan
MR: Cut to Chloe in front of Kahn’s door. Her secretary tells Chloe Kahn is in a meeting. Chloe pushes past her, saying she only needs a minute. Chloe opens the door. The office has two chairs with high backs facing a desk. A man is standing next to the chair on the left, shouting at Kahn. “And I do not care what you say! I just earned another Pulitzer, and the last thing I want is a rookie with more breasts than brains following me around!”
ED: Kahn is also standing. “You listen to me, Bittleman. As long as you work at the Daily Planet, you do as I say. And I say you will be training the rookie! If you don’t like it, you can –"
MR: “Take the job the Gotham Times has offered me for twice the salary and more vacation days? Or the position at the Star City Tribune, where the publishers are throwing in a three book deal? The only reason I even bother staying in this town is that my apartment is rent controlled, I have free season tickets to the Sharks, and –“
ED: “And any other editor would have thrown you ass to the curb years ago! Get out! I will bring her by later.”
MR: Bittleman walks out, glancing at Chloe as he leaves. Chloe looks overjoyed. She starts to walk in. “Ms. Kahn? If you have a second –“
ED: “Sullivan! What are you doing here? Never mind, I was going to keep it a secret, but I thought you should be the first to hear about it. Say hello to out newest reporter, Lois Lane.” Lois stands up from the chair on the right and smiles. “Hi Chloe!”
TW: What!
JG: What!
KK: Ha!
AM: What… how…
MR: (Looking slightly uncomfortable) Network mandate. We will explain more in a minute.
ED: It will be great Allison! We will get to film lots more scenes to together on the Daily Planet set!
AM: (slightly dazed) Yes. Great.
MR: Lex and Hope are in a lab with Dr. Richards, talking about the mysterious test from earlier.
ED: Dr, Richards says, “The results have been extremely positive. We had to use most of the sample, but we have developed a formula that exceeds out expectations.”
JG: So what is Lex building now? More exploding robots? Death rays?
AoT: I say nipple clamps,
TW: Uggh!
AM: Makes sense to me. Green K powered nipple clamps.
MR: Lex replies “And is it stable?”
KK: Like Lex would complain about an unstable nipple clamp. Clark would probably prefer them that way.
ED: “Based on early tests, stable and non-toxic to the host.”
MR: “How soon can we begin production?”
JG: As Jonathan might say, those nipple clamps are not going to manufacture themselves.
ED: “With the formula completed, we can begin mass production within a month. We need to do more testing, of course, to ensure safety, but -“
MR: Lex smiles. “Obtaining test subjects will not be an issue, Dr. Richards.”
KK: Because Lex and Clark will be personally testing each and every one.
JG: Expect for the ones Martha and Lionel use. The Magnificent Line – for her pleasure.
TW: I hate you all.
MR: Kahn’s office. Chloe and Lois are standing facing each other. Chloe looks shocked and a little betrayed. (Looks at AM) Just like that, Allison.
AM: (still looks shocked) I am not acting, Michael.
MR: (Uncomfortable laugh) Ok, then. Chloe says “Lois, how could you do this? We all thought you were dead! I went to your funeral! You dad, my dad, your friends –“
ED: “I am sorry, Chloe, but it was necessary. It was the only way to take down Lex.”
MR: Chloe shouts “You could have told me! You could have let me know! Do you know how it felt to visit your grave?”
ED: Lois is firm but calm. “The same way it felt to visit yours three years ago, I expect. I did what I had to do to stop Lex Luthor. I am sorry, but that was the most important thing. I wanted to let you know, Chloe, but taking down Lex is what mattered.”
MR: Kahn cuts in. “You could learn a thing or two from your cousin, Sullivan. She did what she had to do to get the story.” Kahn hold up a file. “Lane just gave me an article that ties Lex Luthor to illegal kidnapping, experimentations, and crimes against humanity. This, what was it called?”
ED: Chloe and Lois both say at the same time “Level 33.1”
MR: “Yes, Level 33.1, is huge. The biggest thing we have published since Petty White got an exclusive interview with Lex Luthor when his bastard of a father was arrested. Lane earned the City Desk spot with one article.”
ED: Chloe whispers “Level 33.1 was my story."
TW: (To MR) Was this Kristin’s idea?
MR: (To TW) No, the network demanded Lois get in at the Daily Planet. Erica wanted the City Desk.
TW: (To MR) Why isn’t Allison saying anything?
MR: (To TW) Just give it a few minutes. It gets worse.
continued...
MR: The apartment. Chloe is in the shower, Sex is glaring at an illusion of Clark.
AM: With suppressed lust?
KK: Or not-so-suppressed lust?
MR: More like loathing. “She deserves better than you, a small-minded hypocrite who is happy to hide on the farm, pining and brooding while the world burns." Sex waves his arm, and a smiling Jimmy illusion appears. "Or a mediocre little boy, who drags her down while demanding constant validation and praise. Pathetic.” He makes a gesture, and Clark and Jimmy are wearing sun dresses.
TW: Why is Clark is a dress?
MR: Because sailor suits is too predictable. “She deserves someone worthy of her. Who would value and respect her.”
AM: This is a little creepy.
MR: Sex walks closer to the Clark illusion.
JG: And kisses it?
MR: “She deserves greatness. She deserves him. And I will help her see that.”
MR: Downtown Metropolis, outside the Daily Planet. Clark runs into scene, holding a folder in his hand. He glances at it – LuthorCorp Experimenting on Meta-Humans! Is Lex Luthor Building A Super Army? By Chloe Sullivan.
ED: A LuthorCorp tractor trailer pulls into the street in front of Clark. Suddenly, a group of people in black outfits appear. Three of them pull out ray guns, and shoot out the tires of the tractor trailer.
MR: The truck jack-knifes and heads towards the crowds on the sidewalk. Clark rushes out, and stops the truck. He runs towards one the men in black
AM: And they zap him with a mind-wipe ray?
JG: I think that has happened to the characters on a regular basis already.
KK: I wish it happened to me last season.
AM: So does most of the audience.
KK: God help me, I actually agree with Allison.
MR: One of the men shoot Clark. He is knocked ten feet in the air, and into the wall of a nearby building.
ED: A woman pulls out a lightsaber –
JG: Someone call Lucas and apologize.
ED: Ok, an energy whip, and slices through the side of the truck. Two men rush in, and carry out massive high-tech devices.
MR: Cut to Clark, who looks dazed. The file with Chloe’s article has been destroyed.
MR: Chloe’s desk at the Daily Planet. Jimmy is wishing her luck about going directly to Kahn and asking for the City Desk job. “She will love it! If there is one thing Kahn respects, it is people who take charge and go for what they want. Goodbye basement, hello Tiffany Lamps!”
ED: “Thanks, Jimmy.”
JG: I am getting a little nauseous.
MR: “You can do I, Bright Eyes. Go knock her out!”
JG: That did it. Now I do feel ill.
AM: I don’t see – (Looks at AoT), never mind.
AoT: (slight smile)
ED: Chloe walks away, looking around for Clark. She tries to call him on her cell phone – no pick up. “Clark Kent, I am so going to kick your ass if you screw this up.” She checks her back-up article – Crime Wave in Small American Town – What is the Secret Behind Smallville’s Big City Murder Rate? By Chloe Sullivan
MR: Cut to Chloe in front of Kahn’s door. Her secretary tells Chloe Kahn is in a meeting. Chloe pushes past her, saying she only needs a minute. Chloe opens the door. The office has two chairs with high backs facing a desk. A man is standing next to the chair on the left, shouting at Kahn. “And I do not care what you say! I just earned another Pulitzer, and the last thing I want is a rookie with more breasts than brains following me around!”
ED: Kahn is also standing. “You listen to me, Bittleman. As long as you work at the Daily Planet, you do as I say. And I say you will be training the rookie! If you don’t like it, you can –"
MR: “Take the job the Gotham Times has offered me for twice the salary and more vacation days? Or the position at the Star City Tribune, where the publishers are throwing in a three book deal? The only reason I even bother staying in this town is that my apartment is rent controlled, I have free season tickets to the Sharks, and –“
ED: “And any other editor would have thrown you ass to the curb years ago! Get out! I will bring her by later.”
MR: Bittleman walks out, glancing at Chloe as he leaves. Chloe looks overjoyed. She starts to walk in. “Ms. Kahn? If you have a second –“
ED: “Sullivan! What are you doing here? Never mind, I was going to keep it a secret, but I thought you should be the first to hear about it. Say hello to out newest reporter, Lois Lane.” Lois stands up from the chair on the right and smiles. “Hi Chloe!”
TW: What!
JG: What!
KK: Ha!
AM: What… how…
MR: (Looking slightly uncomfortable) Network mandate. We will explain more in a minute.
ED: It will be great Allison! We will get to film lots more scenes to together on the Daily Planet set!
AM: (slightly dazed) Yes. Great.
MR: Lex and Hope are in a lab with Dr. Richards, talking about the mysterious test from earlier.
ED: Dr, Richards says, “The results have been extremely positive. We had to use most of the sample, but we have developed a formula that exceeds out expectations.”
JG: So what is Lex building now? More exploding robots? Death rays?
AoT: I say nipple clamps,
TW: Uggh!
AM: Makes sense to me. Green K powered nipple clamps.
MR: Lex replies “And is it stable?”
KK: Like Lex would complain about an unstable nipple clamp. Clark would probably prefer them that way.
ED: “Based on early tests, stable and non-toxic to the host.”
MR: “How soon can we begin production?”
JG: As Jonathan might say, those nipple clamps are not going to manufacture themselves.
ED: “With the formula completed, we can begin mass production within a month. We need to do more testing, of course, to ensure safety, but -“
MR: Lex smiles. “Obtaining test subjects will not be an issue, Dr. Richards.”
KK: Because Lex and Clark will be personally testing each and every one.
JG: Expect for the ones Martha and Lionel use. The Magnificent Line – for her pleasure.
TW: I hate you all.
MR: Kahn’s office. Chloe and Lois are standing facing each other. Chloe looks shocked and a little betrayed. (Looks at AM) Just like that, Allison.
AM: (still looks shocked) I am not acting, Michael.
MR: (Uncomfortable laugh) Ok, then. Chloe says “Lois, how could you do this? We all thought you were dead! I went to your funeral! You dad, my dad, your friends –“
ED: “I am sorry, Chloe, but it was necessary. It was the only way to take down Lex.”
MR: Chloe shouts “You could have told me! You could have let me know! Do you know how it felt to visit your grave?”
ED: Lois is firm but calm. “The same way it felt to visit yours three years ago, I expect. I did what I had to do to stop Lex Luthor. I am sorry, but that was the most important thing. I wanted to let you know, Chloe, but taking down Lex is what mattered.”
MR: Kahn cuts in. “You could learn a thing or two from your cousin, Sullivan. She did what she had to do to get the story.” Kahn hold up a file. “Lane just gave me an article that ties Lex Luthor to illegal kidnapping, experimentations, and crimes against humanity. This, what was it called?”
ED: Chloe and Lois both say at the same time “Level 33.1”
MR: “Yes, Level 33.1, is huge. The biggest thing we have published since Petty White got an exclusive interview with Lex Luthor when his bastard of a father was arrested. Lane earned the City Desk spot with one article.”
ED: Chloe whispers “Level 33.1 was my story."
TW: (To MR) Was this Kristin’s idea?
MR: (To TW) No, the network demanded Lois get in at the Daily Planet. Erica wanted the City Desk.
TW: (To MR) Why isn’t Allison saying anything?
MR: (To TW) Just give it a few minutes. It gets worse.
continued...
7.05 Threats by MR & ED (Part II)
as retold by RepairmanBob
MR: Lex and Hope in a limo. Lex is watching video tape of the attack on his warehouse.
TW: Lex really does need better security.
AM: We do that, and we lose half our episodes.
JG: I am certainly not going to waste my time coming up with more original ideas for episodes.
MR: “This is the third LuthorCorp facility attacked in two weeks, and we still have no idea who they are. Dr. Richards had better have some good news for me.”
TW: Mr. Luthor, your application to hair Club for Men has been accepted!
AoT: No, no it is a cure for male impotency!
MR: Lex is not impotent!
AoT: Impotent Lex would explain the lack of sex between Lana and Lex.
ED: And we know Lana was horny in season five.
KK: Lana does not get horny! She simply has… needs. Honesty, love, trust -
AM: Clark’s penis.
TW: Ahhwww!
AoT: Well, I am sure Clark has a very nice penis.
TW: (Covers ears) Ahhhwwww!!!
ED: The human body is a beautiful thing, Tom. At my last party, Annette and her husband –
TW: (Puts his head down) Not. Listening.
ED: Fine, fine. Hope hands Lex a file. “This may cheer you up, sir.”
MR: Lex looks at the file, and starts to smile.
MR: Clark on the phone with Martha, catching her up on last episode. “And then Lois showed up, and saved the day.”
AM: (Snarky voice) She sure did.
ED: Thanks, Allison! “Clark, I am overjoyed to hear Lois is alive! Tell her to call me as soon as she can! I want to hear all about what she has been up to.”
MR: “I will, Mom. She would love to hear all about Washington. She could use the good news – she took everything we saw pretty hard.”
ED: “I am working on something that may cheer her up then. Something that would help prevent anything like this from happening in the future.”
ED: Close up of Chloe’s face. She is covered is sweat, and grunting.
KK: Sounds like Jimmy is being a top today.
AM: (Scowls, writes more notes.)
TW: A top?
JG: A top is a -
AoT: Don’t bother, John. It is best if we just stop now.
TW: I want to know what a top is!
MR: I will explain it later, Clark.
AoT: Good luck with that.
ED: Pan back to show Chloe is on a weight bench, lifting an absurd amount of weight.
MR: We hear Sex’s voice. “What are you up to?”
ED: Chloe is still lifting the weights. “Twenty. Reps. Seven. Hundred. Fifty. Pounds.” She sits up.
MR: “You are using the telekinesis to enhance your strength –"
ED: “While my rapid healing increases my endurance and helps my muscles to heal faster from the excessive exercise.” A water bottle flies across the room into her open hand.
MR: “Why bother training at all? With the telekinesis, you can lift –“
ED: “Training myself to use the TK to enhance my strength increases my options. Just like training myself to use it to do more than one thing at a time.” Pan back to show a laptop with they keys typing. “Anyway, the stronger I am, the stronger the TK makes me. I would think you of all people would be the last one to complain about using my powers in creative ways.”
MR: “You cal that creative?” Sex makes a small, amused laugh.
ED: “What? Most meteor freaks never explore the full use of their abilities.”
MR: “And lifting weights is the best you could come up with?”
ED: Chloe glares. “You have a better idea?”
KK: Super hair care products, to start.
MR: “Press down on the earth.”
ED: “What?”
MR: “Press down on the earth. Push it down.”
ED: “OK, first, I am not Chuck Norris. Second, I cannot move the entire earth, and third, even if I could push the earth, it would probably not be a good idea.”
MR: Sex smirks. “Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?”
AM: More proof Lex is a geek.
ED: “Fine, Yoda.” Chloe presses down for a few seconds – nothing happens.
MR: “Are you still pushing?
ED: “Yes. Happy now?”
MR: “Now relax and let yourself go.”
ED: Chloe relaxes, and she shoots up into the ceiling. We hear an audible crack, and there is a large hole where her head hit the ceiling.
AM: Chloe can fly!
TW: Bullshit!
MR: Just wait, Tom. Sex looks at Chloe sympathetically. “Are you alright?”
ED: Chloe looks overjoyed. “I can fly!”
TW: Michael, what the hell? Chloe can fly before Clark?
JG: Maybe if Clark took the advice of a father figure in his life and put some work into developing his powers, he would not get shown up so often.
AoT: Like Joe-El.
JG: Or Lionel.
TW: Lionel is not Clark’s father.
JG: (Smirk) Not yet.
AM: Chloe can fly!
MR: “Actually you're just sort of pinned up against the ceiling.”
ED: “But with some practice…”
MR: “You’ll be able to fly.”
ED: Chloe concentrates, and slams back to the floor. She stands up, re-adjusts a broken arm with a sickening crunch –
TW+AM+JG+KK: Ouch.
ED: And pulls the water bottle back to her.
MR: “On to your newest power - young Johnny was able to make himself invisible. What does that suggest to you?”
ED: “Light manipulation, blending it around himself to prevent being visible to the eye.” Chloe raises the water bottle, and makes it invisible. We can see the water, floating in the air.
MR: Sex smiles. “Go on.”
ED: “Which means I should be able to manipulate light to…” Chloe starts to concentrate “to…”
MR: Clark appears and says “To create visible illusions.” Sex smiles.
KK: Wait, how can it talk?
AoT: Good point.
MR: Who cares? It just works.
AM: How about Chloe absorbed the power of someone who could make people deaf, or -
TW: No, a super-ventriloquist!
KK: With an evil dummy!
MR: I am not having a possessed dummy in my episode!
ED: We could throw it in as a reference, and go in depth if we get another Internet promo, like Justice and Doom.
KK: The search for the amazing Yaris - classic stuff.
ED: Well, it makes more sense that the Clark / Lana / Lex triangle at the end of last season.
TW: She has a point.
KK: Yes, yes she does.
MR: Damn straight. So, I will add a line about some sound-manipulation power, and we can always come back to it later. Maybe something like Banshee?
TW: That would certainly make her sex with Jimmy more interesting.
JG: Or confirm a lack of orgasms is behind Chloe being such an up-tight bitch.
AM: Chloe is not a... I mean she does not... (goes back to writing notes)
ED: Chloe looks at three computers running along the wall. “Meanwhile, the search macros I designed have removed any proof Johnny visited the hospital –“
MR: “And the LuthorCorp access codes I provided confirmed he did not appear in any Level 33.1 systems.”
ED: “Multi-tasking at its finest.” Chloe’s laptop floats over to her. “Damnit, Clark still has not responded to that Level 33.1 article I sent him last week! It was tough enough to get details out of Oliver, and Clark promised to get back to me days ago.”
MR: “The farm boy probably had to go plant some corn, or look for a shinny haired brunette to worship.”
ED: “Do you always have to make fun of him?”
MR: Sex smiles. “You get annoyed when I mock Clark or Jimmy… maybe you should improve your taste in men.”
KK: Lex does know about picking up a good man.
TW: A Lana knows about cheating on one.
AM: Or two. At the same time.
KK: Lana deserves the best –
AoT: Like Clark’s penis?
TW: Please stop.
ED: “Ha ha.” Chloe checks he watch. “Damn, I have to go. I am going to kill Clark.” Chloe walks to the bathroom.
MR: Sex takes a long glance at Chloe’s ass as she walks out. He turns, looks at the Clark illusion and glares.
continued...
MR: Lex and Hope in a limo. Lex is watching video tape of the attack on his warehouse.
TW: Lex really does need better security.
AM: We do that, and we lose half our episodes.
JG: I am certainly not going to waste my time coming up with more original ideas for episodes.
MR: “This is the third LuthorCorp facility attacked in two weeks, and we still have no idea who they are. Dr. Richards had better have some good news for me.”
TW: Mr. Luthor, your application to hair Club for Men has been accepted!
AoT: No, no it is a cure for male impotency!
MR: Lex is not impotent!
AoT: Impotent Lex would explain the lack of sex between Lana and Lex.
ED: And we know Lana was horny in season five.
KK: Lana does not get horny! She simply has… needs. Honesty, love, trust -
AM: Clark’s penis.
TW: Ahhwww!
AoT: Well, I am sure Clark has a very nice penis.
TW: (Covers ears) Ahhhwwww!!!
ED: The human body is a beautiful thing, Tom. At my last party, Annette and her husband –
TW: (Puts his head down) Not. Listening.
ED: Fine, fine. Hope hands Lex a file. “This may cheer you up, sir.”
MR: Lex looks at the file, and starts to smile.
MR: Clark on the phone with Martha, catching her up on last episode. “And then Lois showed up, and saved the day.”
AM: (Snarky voice) She sure did.
ED: Thanks, Allison! “Clark, I am overjoyed to hear Lois is alive! Tell her to call me as soon as she can! I want to hear all about what she has been up to.”
MR: “I will, Mom. She would love to hear all about Washington. She could use the good news – she took everything we saw pretty hard.”
ED: “I am working on something that may cheer her up then. Something that would help prevent anything like this from happening in the future.”
ED: Close up of Chloe’s face. She is covered is sweat, and grunting.
KK: Sounds like Jimmy is being a top today.
AM: (Scowls, writes more notes.)
TW: A top?
JG: A top is a -
AoT: Don’t bother, John. It is best if we just stop now.
TW: I want to know what a top is!
MR: I will explain it later, Clark.
AoT: Good luck with that.
ED: Pan back to show Chloe is on a weight bench, lifting an absurd amount of weight.
MR: We hear Sex’s voice. “What are you up to?”
ED: Chloe is still lifting the weights. “Twenty. Reps. Seven. Hundred. Fifty. Pounds.” She sits up.
MR: “You are using the telekinesis to enhance your strength –"
ED: “While my rapid healing increases my endurance and helps my muscles to heal faster from the excessive exercise.” A water bottle flies across the room into her open hand.
MR: “Why bother training at all? With the telekinesis, you can lift –“
ED: “Training myself to use the TK to enhance my strength increases my options. Just like training myself to use it to do more than one thing at a time.” Pan back to show a laptop with they keys typing. “Anyway, the stronger I am, the stronger the TK makes me. I would think you of all people would be the last one to complain about using my powers in creative ways.”
MR: “You cal that creative?” Sex makes a small, amused laugh.
ED: “What? Most meteor freaks never explore the full use of their abilities.”
MR: “And lifting weights is the best you could come up with?”
ED: Chloe glares. “You have a better idea?”
KK: Super hair care products, to start.
MR: “Press down on the earth.”
ED: “What?”
MR: “Press down on the earth. Push it down.”
ED: “OK, first, I am not Chuck Norris. Second, I cannot move the entire earth, and third, even if I could push the earth, it would probably not be a good idea.”
MR: Sex smirks. “Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?”
AM: More proof Lex is a geek.
ED: “Fine, Yoda.” Chloe presses down for a few seconds – nothing happens.
MR: “Are you still pushing?
ED: “Yes. Happy now?”
MR: “Now relax and let yourself go.”
ED: Chloe relaxes, and she shoots up into the ceiling. We hear an audible crack, and there is a large hole where her head hit the ceiling.
AM: Chloe can fly!
TW: Bullshit!
MR: Just wait, Tom. Sex looks at Chloe sympathetically. “Are you alright?”
ED: Chloe looks overjoyed. “I can fly!”
TW: Michael, what the hell? Chloe can fly before Clark?
JG: Maybe if Clark took the advice of a father figure in his life and put some work into developing his powers, he would not get shown up so often.
AoT: Like Joe-El.
JG: Or Lionel.
TW: Lionel is not Clark’s father.
JG: (Smirk) Not yet.
AM: Chloe can fly!
MR: “Actually you're just sort of pinned up against the ceiling.”
ED: “But with some practice…”
MR: “You’ll be able to fly.”
ED: Chloe concentrates, and slams back to the floor. She stands up, re-adjusts a broken arm with a sickening crunch –
TW+AM+JG+KK: Ouch.
ED: And pulls the water bottle back to her.
MR: “On to your newest power - young Johnny was able to make himself invisible. What does that suggest to you?”
ED: “Light manipulation, blending it around himself to prevent being visible to the eye.” Chloe raises the water bottle, and makes it invisible. We can see the water, floating in the air.
MR: Sex smiles. “Go on.”
ED: “Which means I should be able to manipulate light to…” Chloe starts to concentrate “to…”
MR: Clark appears and says “To create visible illusions.” Sex smiles.
KK: Wait, how can it talk?
AoT: Good point.
MR: Who cares? It just works.
AM: How about Chloe absorbed the power of someone who could make people deaf, or -
TW: No, a super-ventriloquist!
KK: With an evil dummy!
MR: I am not having a possessed dummy in my episode!
ED: We could throw it in as a reference, and go in depth if we get another Internet promo, like Justice and Doom.
KK: The search for the amazing Yaris - classic stuff.
ED: Well, it makes more sense that the Clark / Lana / Lex triangle at the end of last season.
TW: She has a point.
KK: Yes, yes she does.
MR: Damn straight. So, I will add a line about some sound-manipulation power, and we can always come back to it later. Maybe something like Banshee?
TW: That would certainly make her sex with Jimmy more interesting.
JG: Or confirm a lack of orgasms is behind Chloe being such an up-tight bitch.
AM: Chloe is not a... I mean she does not... (goes back to writing notes)
ED: Chloe looks at three computers running along the wall. “Meanwhile, the search macros I designed have removed any proof Johnny visited the hospital –“
MR: “And the LuthorCorp access codes I provided confirmed he did not appear in any Level 33.1 systems.”
ED: “Multi-tasking at its finest.” Chloe’s laptop floats over to her. “Damnit, Clark still has not responded to that Level 33.1 article I sent him last week! It was tough enough to get details out of Oliver, and Clark promised to get back to me days ago.”
MR: “The farm boy probably had to go plant some corn, or look for a shinny haired brunette to worship.”
ED: “Do you always have to make fun of him?”
MR: Sex smiles. “You get annoyed when I mock Clark or Jimmy… maybe you should improve your taste in men.”
KK: Lex does know about picking up a good man.
TW: A Lana knows about cheating on one.
AM: Or two. At the same time.
KK: Lana deserves the best –
AoT: Like Clark’s penis?
TW: Please stop.
ED: “Ha ha.” Chloe checks he watch. “Damn, I have to go. I am going to kill Clark.” Chloe walks to the bathroom.
MR: Sex takes a long glance at Chloe’s ass as she walks out. He turns, looks at the Clark illusion and glares.
continued...
7.05 Threats by MR & ED (Part I)
as retold by RepairmanBob
Lex learns he has bigger enemies to worry about than the "Justice League". Chloe finds she has new rival at work.
(Cast walks in slowly. AM walks in with TW.)
AM: How did she get to write another episode so quickly? She already stole my last one!
TW: Hey, talk to Michael.
AM: And Kristin’s episode is up next week! Do you think Michael would be up –
TW: Don’t get me involved, Allison. I am already on Kristin’s shit list.
AM: And I’m not?
TW: No, she said you are on her Kill List.
AM: Kill List?
JG: (Who has walked up from behind them) You don’t walk to know.
AM: John! I just wanted to –
JG: Save it. You cost me Father Knows Best. No deals.
AM: But the show got cancelled anyway!
JG: And that would have voided my contract! I would have been free! (JG walks away muttering.)
AM: I am screwed, aren’t I?
TW: Oh yes.
MR: Let’s get started. Start in Lex’s office at LuthorCorp. Lex tells Hope his recent setbacks have been troubling. He reviews all of the problems he has had recently. Getting arrested, losing LuthorCorp, getting knocked into a coma, the destruction of your primary Level 33.1 facility.
ED: Kahloe pops in. ”Luckily, you got me. Sounds like a fair trade.”
MR: Lex ignored Kahloe. “Dr. Richards had better have some good news on the project.”
ED: Hope – “Should I go motivate him?” Kahloe – “Oh, can we watch?”
AM: Come on!
MR: What can I say - Kahloe likes to watch violence.
AoT: Well, Chloe did spend six years watching Clark throw people 30 feet in the air.
TW: Clark does not throw people 30 feet in the air!
KK: I think watching Clark being violent is a fetish for Chloe. She likes Clark, she likes violence –
JG: She likes whipped cream and public sex –
AM: No she –
TW: Clark does not throw people 30 feet in the air!
MR: Tell me how much Chloe dislikes violence the next time she uses a tazer. At least Kahloe is honest about it. “We will go over together. I am due for an update.” Lex and Hope walk to the elevator. “If one more thing goes wrong, I am going to kill someone.”
ED: Kahloe smiles. “Promises, promises.”
ED: Inside a security office. Two guards are watching security footage. One of the guards turns – we see a LuthorCorp logo on his jacket. “Tom, what is that on camera 43?”
MR: Cut to outside the building – it is a warehouse. Six men and women in black clothes are standing outside a locked shipping door. One of the group holds up what looks like a TV remote control, and points it at the keypad. The door opens.
ED: The group rushes inside. The guards from the first scene are waiting for them, with guns drawn. “You just made a big mistake.”
JG: At some point, you think the Luthors would hire some decent security.
AM: Like mall Rent-A-Cops?
TW: It would be an upgrade.
MR: The lead member of the group breaking in smiles. “You think?” He pulls out a pistol, and shoots an energy ray at one of the guards, knocking him 10 feet into the air. The other guard shoots his pistol, but it bounces a force field around the group. Another man throws a bolo-looking weapon at the second guard. It wraps around his neck. The second guard drops to the ground choking. The man who shot the gun turns to a woman standing to his right. “Find it.”
ED: The woman puts on a visor – think of Cyclops from the X-Men. We get her point of view, and have Predator vision – the warehouse in infra-red. She flashes through 3-4 other color settings, and then we see a crate start to flash. “Got it.”
MR: The leader and two men walks quickly but calmly to the crate. The rest of the group split up, and start placing small boxes around the warehouse. The leader points at the crate, and the two men lift it into the air. We see they are wearing metal gloves. The group walks out. Outside the building, the leader takes out a cell phone. “We have it, boss.
ED: We hear a man’s voice. “Very good. Clean the scene and return to base.”
MR: The leader pulls out another device and presses a button. The building explodes. Cue the credits.
MR: The barn. Clark is looking at satellite maps – they cover the walls. The maps are covered in sticky notes and green pins. He rushes out, then rushes backs and adds more pins. Clark scowls. “There should be more.”
KK: Looks like Clark is scouting for gay leather bars.
MR: He picks up some computer spreadsheets, checks them and then goes back to the maps. “This cannot be right.”
AoT: What is Clark doing?
KK: I told you, looking for gay leather bars. He wants to take Lex somewhere special for his –
ED: Kristin? Can we please stop making fun of Clark?
KK: (Looks surprised and a bit offended?) What did you say?
ED: I just want to get to my scene. Can you just stop it? Please?
KK: (Puts head down, starts to take notes, mutter about next week.)
JG: You chose… poorly.
ED: What?
MR: Clark’s phone rings. “Hello?
ED: It is Lois, asking about how Chloe is doing. Clark says she misses Moria, and she would be overjoyed to hear from Lois – add some Jonathan guilt trip.
JG: Those emotions and not going to manipulate themselves, Clark.
ED: “I will, Clark I promise. Soon. I just need to finish one last thing. Chloe and I will be talking before she knows it.”
MR: Smallville Hospital. Chloe is talking to a doctor.
AM: Great, Chloe got hurt before the episode even started.
ED: Oh, come on Allison! Would we do that?
AM: (Look as at KK) Some people would.
KK: (Looks back) Or worse.
ED: Oh, you two! (Laughs)
(AM and KK look at ED, at each other and back at ED with identical “Is she serious?” expressions)
ED: Chloe says “You called me, doctor?”
MR: “Yes, we have another… unusual case.”
ED: “What happened?”
MR: "The boy’s parents said he is terrified of being by himself. He becomes hysterical if he is left alone. They were thinking of sending him to Belle Reve for examination and I… well, you helped that little girl, and I thought…”
ED: You did the right thing, doctor. Can I see him?”
MR: “Yes, he is in room 207.”
KK: So now Chloe is hunting down children?
AM: Helping children.
KK: Sounds like she may be starring in the next To Catch a Predator special. “He said he had a power, and he was home alone, officer.”
AM: Why don’t you –
KK: Remember who is writing next week’s script before you finish that sentence, Allison.
AM: (Sits back down. She takes out a pad, and starts to take notes.)
ED: Chloe enters the room. A four year-old boy is sitting with his mother. The boy is crying, the mom is on the verge of tears. “Please mommy! Don’t go! Don’t leave me!”
MR: The mom turns to Chloe. “Are you –“
ED: “Yes, ma’am. Can I talk to your son?”
MR: Mom turns to son. "It’s OK, Johnny. Mommy will be right outside.”
ED: The boy continues to cry. “Please Mommy! Don't leave! Don't let me go away! Please!” Chloe walks to the boy, smiles at him. “It is alright, Johnny. My name is Chloe. Mrs. Smith, could you step outside?” Mom looks unsure, but walks outside.
MR: The little boy is still sniffling, but had stopped crying. “Can you help me? Can you keep me from going away?”
ED: “What do you mean going away?”
MR: Johnny raises his arm – it becomes invisible. “When I am by myself, I go away. I am scared I…” starts sniffling again “I will go away and Mommy and Daddy won’t see me…” breaks into full tears “and they will think I ran away and they will leave me and I will be all alone and- “ Johnny loses it, breaks into hysterics.
ED: Chloe hugs him – no skin contact. “It is alright, Johnny. I am going to help you.” She lifts an arm, and starts to move it toward his bare cheek.
KK: Someone call the police! Run little boy!
JG: Officer, the blond lady touches me in my naughty place!
AM: You two are sick.
ED: “I will make sure your Mom and Dad never leave you.”
continued...
Lex learns he has bigger enemies to worry about than the "Justice League". Chloe finds she has new rival at work.
(Cast walks in slowly. AM walks in with TW.)
AM: How did she get to write another episode so quickly? She already stole my last one!
TW: Hey, talk to Michael.
AM: And Kristin’s episode is up next week! Do you think Michael would be up –
TW: Don’t get me involved, Allison. I am already on Kristin’s shit list.
AM: And I’m not?
TW: No, she said you are on her Kill List.
AM: Kill List?
JG: (Who has walked up from behind them) You don’t walk to know.
AM: John! I just wanted to –
JG: Save it. You cost me Father Knows Best. No deals.
AM: But the show got cancelled anyway!
JG: And that would have voided my contract! I would have been free! (JG walks away muttering.)
AM: I am screwed, aren’t I?
TW: Oh yes.
MR: Let’s get started. Start in Lex’s office at LuthorCorp. Lex tells Hope his recent setbacks have been troubling. He reviews all of the problems he has had recently. Getting arrested, losing LuthorCorp, getting knocked into a coma, the destruction of your primary Level 33.1 facility.
ED: Kahloe pops in. ”Luckily, you got me. Sounds like a fair trade.”
MR: Lex ignored Kahloe. “Dr. Richards had better have some good news on the project.”
ED: Hope – “Should I go motivate him?” Kahloe – “Oh, can we watch?”
AM: Come on!
MR: What can I say - Kahloe likes to watch violence.
AoT: Well, Chloe did spend six years watching Clark throw people 30 feet in the air.
TW: Clark does not throw people 30 feet in the air!
KK: I think watching Clark being violent is a fetish for Chloe. She likes Clark, she likes violence –
JG: She likes whipped cream and public sex –
AM: No she –
TW: Clark does not throw people 30 feet in the air!
MR: Tell me how much Chloe dislikes violence the next time she uses a tazer. At least Kahloe is honest about it. “We will go over together. I am due for an update.” Lex and Hope walk to the elevator. “If one more thing goes wrong, I am going to kill someone.”
ED: Kahloe smiles. “Promises, promises.”
ED: Inside a security office. Two guards are watching security footage. One of the guards turns – we see a LuthorCorp logo on his jacket. “Tom, what is that on camera 43?”
MR: Cut to outside the building – it is a warehouse. Six men and women in black clothes are standing outside a locked shipping door. One of the group holds up what looks like a TV remote control, and points it at the keypad. The door opens.
ED: The group rushes inside. The guards from the first scene are waiting for them, with guns drawn. “You just made a big mistake.”
JG: At some point, you think the Luthors would hire some decent security.
AM: Like mall Rent-A-Cops?
TW: It would be an upgrade.
MR: The lead member of the group breaking in smiles. “You think?” He pulls out a pistol, and shoots an energy ray at one of the guards, knocking him 10 feet into the air. The other guard shoots his pistol, but it bounces a force field around the group. Another man throws a bolo-looking weapon at the second guard. It wraps around his neck. The second guard drops to the ground choking. The man who shot the gun turns to a woman standing to his right. “Find it.”
ED: The woman puts on a visor – think of Cyclops from the X-Men. We get her point of view, and have Predator vision – the warehouse in infra-red. She flashes through 3-4 other color settings, and then we see a crate start to flash. “Got it.”
MR: The leader and two men walks quickly but calmly to the crate. The rest of the group split up, and start placing small boxes around the warehouse. The leader points at the crate, and the two men lift it into the air. We see they are wearing metal gloves. The group walks out. Outside the building, the leader takes out a cell phone. “We have it, boss.
ED: We hear a man’s voice. “Very good. Clean the scene and return to base.”
MR: The leader pulls out another device and presses a button. The building explodes. Cue the credits.
MR: The barn. Clark is looking at satellite maps – they cover the walls. The maps are covered in sticky notes and green pins. He rushes out, then rushes backs and adds more pins. Clark scowls. “There should be more.”
KK: Looks like Clark is scouting for gay leather bars.
MR: He picks up some computer spreadsheets, checks them and then goes back to the maps. “This cannot be right.”
AoT: What is Clark doing?
KK: I told you, looking for gay leather bars. He wants to take Lex somewhere special for his –
ED: Kristin? Can we please stop making fun of Clark?
KK: (Looks surprised and a bit offended?) What did you say?
ED: I just want to get to my scene. Can you just stop it? Please?
KK: (Puts head down, starts to take notes, mutter about next week.)
JG: You chose… poorly.
ED: What?
MR: Clark’s phone rings. “Hello?
ED: It is Lois, asking about how Chloe is doing. Clark says she misses Moria, and she would be overjoyed to hear from Lois – add some Jonathan guilt trip.
JG: Those emotions and not going to manipulate themselves, Clark.
ED: “I will, Clark I promise. Soon. I just need to finish one last thing. Chloe and I will be talking before she knows it.”
MR: Smallville Hospital. Chloe is talking to a doctor.
AM: Great, Chloe got hurt before the episode even started.
ED: Oh, come on Allison! Would we do that?
AM: (Look as at KK) Some people would.
KK: (Looks back) Or worse.
ED: Oh, you two! (Laughs)
(AM and KK look at ED, at each other and back at ED with identical “Is she serious?” expressions)
ED: Chloe says “You called me, doctor?”
MR: “Yes, we have another… unusual case.”
ED: “What happened?”
MR: "The boy’s parents said he is terrified of being by himself. He becomes hysterical if he is left alone. They were thinking of sending him to Belle Reve for examination and I… well, you helped that little girl, and I thought…”
ED: You did the right thing, doctor. Can I see him?”
MR: “Yes, he is in room 207.”
KK: So now Chloe is hunting down children?
AM: Helping children.
KK: Sounds like she may be starring in the next To Catch a Predator special. “He said he had a power, and he was home alone, officer.”
AM: Why don’t you –
KK: Remember who is writing next week’s script before you finish that sentence, Allison.
AM: (Sits back down. She takes out a pad, and starts to take notes.)
ED: Chloe enters the room. A four year-old boy is sitting with his mother. The boy is crying, the mom is on the verge of tears. “Please mommy! Don’t go! Don’t leave me!”
MR: The mom turns to Chloe. “Are you –“
ED: “Yes, ma’am. Can I talk to your son?”
MR: Mom turns to son. "It’s OK, Johnny. Mommy will be right outside.”
ED: The boy continues to cry. “Please Mommy! Don't leave! Don't let me go away! Please!” Chloe walks to the boy, smiles at him. “It is alright, Johnny. My name is Chloe. Mrs. Smith, could you step outside?” Mom looks unsure, but walks outside.
MR: The little boy is still sniffling, but had stopped crying. “Can you help me? Can you keep me from going away?”
ED: “What do you mean going away?”
MR: Johnny raises his arm – it becomes invisible. “When I am by myself, I go away. I am scared I…” starts sniffling again “I will go away and Mommy and Daddy won’t see me…” breaks into full tears “and they will think I ran away and they will leave me and I will be all alone and- “ Johnny loses it, breaks into hysterics.
ED: Chloe hugs him – no skin contact. “It is alright, Johnny. I am going to help you.” She lifts an arm, and starts to move it toward his bare cheek.
KK: Someone call the police! Run little boy!
JG: Officer, the blond lady touches me in my naughty place!
AM: You two are sick.
ED: “I will make sure your Mom and Dad never leave you.”
continued...
7.04 Embedded by AM & ED (Part VIII)
ED: Queen Industry HQ. Various JLAers whoop it up.
AM: Who ever we can get. Obviously we're counting on Oliver and Cyborg.
ED: If we can't schedule the other two guys we thought we could show a few nameless heroes who are obvious for bit parts.
AM: Oliver is on the phone with Chloe. She's reminding him she wants all the details from the latest mission. They promised her full access for a story once the final location was neutralized."
ED: Oliver is a bit non-committal but Chloe presses him.
AM: Cut to the Talon apartment. Chloe is viewing a wall of weird entry for the girl from the premiere. She's marked as "cured". As she talks she goes to Victor Creed who is marked "cured" as well. Finally she hyper links to her mom's file. "And Ollie, I haven't seen my mom in a while. When do you think I could come by?"
ED: Cut back to the party. The room suddenly goes silent. Oliver looks to the door. Lois is standing there. He tells Chloe, "Sure. Whenever you want."
AM: We hear Chloe thank him. She starts to get into specifics.
ED: But Oliver cuts her off, "Listen, I've got to go." He hangs up. The other guests sensing the tension move themselves to another room.
AM: Cue up an extremely awkward scene. Oliver tries to tell Lois how relieved he is to see her alive.
ED: She tells him not to talk. She explains how much it hurts to find out she'd fallen in love with a lie. Oliver is the first guy to ever manage to break her heart twice.
AM: Ollie tries to apologize
ED: Lois informs him it's too late. She's only there to assure him he doesn't have to worry about her exposing his precious secret identity but she is going to publish the article and show the world what a snake Lex Luthor is. Lex is going to regret the day ever messed with her friends.
AM: "That's a nice sentiment, Lois. It's too bad no one will believe you."
ED: "Of course they will. I have all the proof I need."
AM: "Face it Lois. If you honestly believe you're going to take down Lex Luthor with an article in the Inquisitor you're a fool. Everyone knows finding the truth in that paper is as likely as finding a needle in a haystack. You might as well not waste your time."
ED: Lois becomes enraged. "You're one to talk about the truth!" She slaps Oliver in the face, "That's for lying to me, Oliver!" Lois practically runs out the door.
AM: Clark walks down the streets of Star City carrying a bag of party supplies. He's approaching the Queen Industries building when he hears someone sitting in the shadows up against the side of the building softly sobbing. He stops to investigate, "Are you alright?" As is gets closer we see it's Lois, "Lois?"
ED: Embarrassed Lois wipes her nose and tries to stop crying. Miserably failing at trying to play it casual, "Oh, hey Smallville, what are you doing here?"
AM: "What am I doing here? Lois, you're alive!"
ED: "Yeah, and I almost wish I wasn't."
AM: Clark takes her hand, "Lois, what's wrong?"
ED: "It's... it's... it's..." she pulls out a tissue and blows her nose. "Clark, how would you feel if the one guy who ever loved you back turned out to be a big. fat. liar!"
KK: I think Clark knows exactly how that feels.
MR: Funny.
ED: "Oliver... he... he... " She blows her nose again. "And the worst part? He's right! They'll never believe me!"
AM: "Never believe what, Lois?"
ED: "Lex, he had this island with all these meteor freaks he could control. Just like he did with Wes. It's like he has them in mass production."
AM: Clark does some fast thinking, "We'll go to my mom. She'll make sure the government shuts this down."
ED: Lois is all cried out, "It's a government project, Clark. Besides, it's already been shut down."
AM: "Let's get you home. Chloe isn't going to believe this!"
ED: Lois' resolve is coming back. "No, Clark. This isn't over yet. I need you to promise you won't tell anyone you've seen me."
AM: "Lois, you have no idea how hard Chloe is taking this! You're alive. She deserves to know that."
ED: "Have you forgotten Chloe had the two of us running around after her 'killer' when she faked her her own death Clark? I know what it's like. But I also know why she did it, to put a very bad man away."
JG: A magnificent bastard to be exact. Ah, those were the days.
ED: "I should be allowed to do the same."
AM: "Lois, what are you going to do?"
ED: "Oliver's right, I'm not going to take down Lex Luthor in the pages of the Inquisitor. But I am going to take him down, one way or another."
AM: And go to black.
MR: There is no fucking way Lois is going to take down Lex Luthor.
AM: Exactly. Chloe is going to do it!
KK: The hell she is!
JG: Kristen is right. Lionel is going to take him down!
TW: Hello!?!? What about Clark!?!?
ED: Clark? What makes you think Clark would be the one to take down Lex?
TW: Clark is the star!
ED & JG & AM: Ha ha ha ha!
TW: He's the hero!
ED & JG & AM: Ha ha ha ha!
TW: Clark should be the one to take down Lex!
KK: Hold on everybody! Tom's right about one thing. If anyone is going to get Lex to go down it's going to be Clark.
TW: Thank you, Kristen.
[ED & JG & AM looks at KK with surprise.]
KK: As long as it's Lex going down on him!
ED & JG & AM: Ha ha ha ha!
TW: You all think you're so damn funny!
AM: Bottom line Erica, if you think after betraying us all we'll let Lois...
KK: [To AM] Who betrayed us all?
JG: She betrayed me! Who the hell else counts!?!?
KK: You?!?! It's always about you, isn't it?! Of all the self-centered...
JG: Me, self-centered?!?! Me?!?
ED: [to AoT] I should be re-thinking this whole coming back thing, shouldn't I?
AM: You should. You definitely should.
KK: Oh, no. If I have to stay she has to stay. She's not getting off that easy!
JG: Exactly. Durance, you're going to suffer just like the rest of us!
ED: [smiles] So... you want me back?
AM: I don't know if "want" is the best way to put it but...
AoT: Yeah, we do. We want you back, Erica.
ED: Aw. You don't know how much that means to me! [stands up and puts her arms out] Come on everybody, group hug! [when no one else stands] Come on, don't be shy!
KK: Group hug?!?! Are you smoking crack, Durance!?!?
ED: But we've all patched things up, right?
[AM & JG & KK exchange dubious glances]
ED: Right?
[uncomfortable silence]
ED: [gulps]
Fini
Next
AM: Who ever we can get. Obviously we're counting on Oliver and Cyborg.
ED: If we can't schedule the other two guys we thought we could show a few nameless heroes who are obvious for bit parts.
AM: Oliver is on the phone with Chloe. She's reminding him she wants all the details from the latest mission. They promised her full access for a story once the final location was neutralized."
ED: Oliver is a bit non-committal but Chloe presses him.
AM: Cut to the Talon apartment. Chloe is viewing a wall of weird entry for the girl from the premiere. She's marked as "cured". As she talks she goes to Victor Creed who is marked "cured" as well. Finally she hyper links to her mom's file. "And Ollie, I haven't seen my mom in a while. When do you think I could come by?"
ED: Cut back to the party. The room suddenly goes silent. Oliver looks to the door. Lois is standing there. He tells Chloe, "Sure. Whenever you want."
AM: We hear Chloe thank him. She starts to get into specifics.
ED: But Oliver cuts her off, "Listen, I've got to go." He hangs up. The other guests sensing the tension move themselves to another room.
AM: Cue up an extremely awkward scene. Oliver tries to tell Lois how relieved he is to see her alive.
ED: She tells him not to talk. She explains how much it hurts to find out she'd fallen in love with a lie. Oliver is the first guy to ever manage to break her heart twice.
AM: Ollie tries to apologize
ED: Lois informs him it's too late. She's only there to assure him he doesn't have to worry about her exposing his precious secret identity but she is going to publish the article and show the world what a snake Lex Luthor is. Lex is going to regret the day ever messed with her friends.
AM: "That's a nice sentiment, Lois. It's too bad no one will believe you."
ED: "Of course they will. I have all the proof I need."
AM: "Face it Lois. If you honestly believe you're going to take down Lex Luthor with an article in the Inquisitor you're a fool. Everyone knows finding the truth in that paper is as likely as finding a needle in a haystack. You might as well not waste your time."
ED: Lois becomes enraged. "You're one to talk about the truth!" She slaps Oliver in the face, "That's for lying to me, Oliver!" Lois practically runs out the door.
AM: Clark walks down the streets of Star City carrying a bag of party supplies. He's approaching the Queen Industries building when he hears someone sitting in the shadows up against the side of the building softly sobbing. He stops to investigate, "Are you alright?" As is gets closer we see it's Lois, "Lois?"
ED: Embarrassed Lois wipes her nose and tries to stop crying. Miserably failing at trying to play it casual, "Oh, hey Smallville, what are you doing here?"
AM: "What am I doing here? Lois, you're alive!"
ED: "Yeah, and I almost wish I wasn't."
AM: Clark takes her hand, "Lois, what's wrong?"
ED: "It's... it's... it's..." she pulls out a tissue and blows her nose. "Clark, how would you feel if the one guy who ever loved you back turned out to be a big. fat. liar!"
KK: I think Clark knows exactly how that feels.
MR: Funny.
ED: "Oliver... he... he... " She blows her nose again. "And the worst part? He's right! They'll never believe me!"
AM: "Never believe what, Lois?"
ED: "Lex, he had this island with all these meteor freaks he could control. Just like he did with Wes. It's like he has them in mass production."
AM: Clark does some fast thinking, "We'll go to my mom. She'll make sure the government shuts this down."
ED: Lois is all cried out, "It's a government project, Clark. Besides, it's already been shut down."
AM: "Let's get you home. Chloe isn't going to believe this!"
ED: Lois' resolve is coming back. "No, Clark. This isn't over yet. I need you to promise you won't tell anyone you've seen me."
AM: "Lois, you have no idea how hard Chloe is taking this! You're alive. She deserves to know that."
ED: "Have you forgotten Chloe had the two of us running around after her 'killer' when she faked her her own death Clark? I know what it's like. But I also know why she did it, to put a very bad man away."
JG: A magnificent bastard to be exact. Ah, those were the days.
ED: "I should be allowed to do the same."
AM: "Lois, what are you going to do?"
ED: "Oliver's right, I'm not going to take down Lex Luthor in the pages of the Inquisitor. But I am going to take him down, one way or another."
AM: And go to black.
MR: There is no fucking way Lois is going to take down Lex Luthor.
AM: Exactly. Chloe is going to do it!
KK: The hell she is!
JG: Kristen is right. Lionel is going to take him down!
TW: Hello!?!? What about Clark!?!?
ED: Clark? What makes you think Clark would be the one to take down Lex?
TW: Clark is the star!
ED & JG & AM: Ha ha ha ha!
TW: He's the hero!
ED & JG & AM: Ha ha ha ha!
TW: Clark should be the one to take down Lex!
KK: Hold on everybody! Tom's right about one thing. If anyone is going to get Lex to go down it's going to be Clark.
TW: Thank you, Kristen.
[ED & JG & AM looks at KK with surprise.]
KK: As long as it's Lex going down on him!
ED & JG & AM: Ha ha ha ha!
TW: You all think you're so damn funny!
AM: Bottom line Erica, if you think after betraying us all we'll let Lois...
KK: [To AM] Who betrayed us all?
JG: She betrayed me! Who the hell else counts!?!?
KK: You?!?! It's always about you, isn't it?! Of all the self-centered...
JG: Me, self-centered?!?! Me?!?
ED: [to AoT] I should be re-thinking this whole coming back thing, shouldn't I?
AM: You should. You definitely should.
KK: Oh, no. If I have to stay she has to stay. She's not getting off that easy!
JG: Exactly. Durance, you're going to suffer just like the rest of us!
ED: [smiles] So... you want me back?
AM: I don't know if "want" is the best way to put it but...
AoT: Yeah, we do. We want you back, Erica.
ED: Aw. You don't know how much that means to me! [stands up and puts her arms out] Come on everybody, group hug! [when no one else stands] Come on, don't be shy!
KK: Group hug?!?! Are you smoking crack, Durance!?!?
ED: But we've all patched things up, right?
[AM & JG & KK exchange dubious glances]
ED: Right?
[uncomfortable silence]
ED: [gulps]
Fini
Next
7.04 Embedded by AM & ED (Part VII)
AM: Aboard the other plane the freaks talk quietly among themselves. In the cockpit Oliver adjusts controls.
ED: Clark enters, "We have all Lex's people on the south side of the island safely out of the blast radius. You sure you want to leave them here?"
AM: "They made their own choices, Clark. If they're going to work with the likes of Lex they're not going to get my charity."
ED: Clark looks conflicted.
AM: After a moment's silence Oliver sighs. "Oh, all right. We can try to squeeze them in."
ED: Clark gives his goofy big grin. Now, that's the gayest look of the episode!
AM: No way. It doesn't even compare to Oliver fighting with Clark because Clark was two timing him with Lex.
MR: What? No love for the Clex?
KK: Clex is like an old married couple. The thrill is gone.
ED: Besides, this is the makeup scene. You can't beat makeup sex.
KK: I don't know. There's a lot to be said for angry sex.
ED: Says the girl who's suddenly almost always angry.
KK: Exactly! Maybe I speak from experience.
TW: Then maybe you should be thanking Allison instead of trying to kill her.
AM: Yeah!
KK: There is a lot to be said for it. But not enough to save Allison.
TW: [To AM] I tried.
KK: [writing on her script] You failed.
TW: What are you writing?
KK: Nothing.
MR: [Leans in to look] B. D. [KK smacks his hand] Aye! Ow!
KK: Watch it Rosenbaum!
TW: You're going to punish Clark for that?
KK: Not necessarily. You could redeem yourself.
TW: How?
KK: We'll talk. In private.
AM: Don't forget you owe me, Tom.
KK: I'm about to find out just how much.
TW: [Looks uncomfortable]
AM: Outside the Star City airport. Zinda and Lois are saying goodbye, "Last chance to keep the jumpsuit. You positive you don't want it?"
ED: "Oh, I'm positive." Awkward pause, "Thanks, Zinda."
AM: "Well, Wes was my friend too."
ED: They hug.
AM: "You sure you're going to be OK?"
ED: "Yeah. Eventually."
AM: "You and Oliver... you have the same goals. You just go about them differently."
ED: "I know."
AM: Zinda looks skeptical, "You're going to bite his head off anyway, aren't you?"
ED: "Probably."
AM: "Do what you must, just try not to scar that pretty face of his."
ED: "Zinda..."
AM: "Don't worry, I'm not after your ex... yet."
ED: A police siren sounds off nearby.
AM: "Well, that's probably our cue to go."
ED: "It was good seeing you again, Zinda. Don't be a stranger."
AM: "Same here, Lois." They start walking their separate ways and Zinda stops. "And Lois?"
ED: Lois turns back around to face Zinda.
AM: "You actually weren't half bad... for an amateur."
ED: "Thanks."
AM: Zinda winks before walking off.
AM: Lex's office. Hope stands in front of his desk, at attention.
ED: Lex circles her, he's irate. "I can't believe it! I hand you the Justice League on a silver platter and what do you do?"
AM: Hope is silent.
ED: "Not only do they slip through your fingers they destroy our last facility and take our human assets!"
AM: "I'm sorry sir."
ED: "And we're no closer to finding out who they are or stopping them than ever, are we?"
AM: "Actually sir. I was able to positively identify one individual."
ED: "Finally, progress!"
AM: "Unfortunately this individual's presence may have further compromised the project."
ED: Lex slams the desk, "Who! Who is it!"
AM: "Lois Lane, sir."
ED: "She's dead!"
AM: "She is not. She saw everything and I fully expect her to publish it all. I suggest we dismantle..."
ED: "We're not dismantling anything!"
AM: "If this gets out to the press..."
ED: "Lois is a two bit reporter for a two bit newspaper. She can publish to her heart's content in the Inquisitor. No one is going to believe a word."
AM: "But sir..."
ED: Lionel enters, "I trust I'm not interrupting anything, son?"
AM: Lex to Hope, "You're dismissed."
ED: Hope exits, Lex turns his attention to Lionel "I'm surprised you still have the audacity to show up here."
AM: "I'm magnanimous in my defeat as always, son. Unlike you if my ears don't deceive me."
ED: "This is merely a setback."
AM: "I won't argue semantics. Still, did I hear your associate right? That Lois Lane lives?"
ED: "Mmmm. That's the rumor."
AM: "I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss her, son."
ED: "Lois Lane is nothing more than a pesky gnat."
AM: "If I remember correctly that pesky 'gnat' managed to put an end to your political aspirations."
ED: "No! You did, Dad. You filled the Kent campaign coffers. Surprisingly enough hardly a year later you have a United States Senator at your beck and call."
AM: "Touche, son. Still, though I may have forged the sword it was our dear Ms. Lane who slayed the dragon."
ED: Lex is amused, "Ever ready with the pithy analogy, eh Dad? You should teach a course."
AM: Lionel, however, is not amused. "Watch your back, son." He heads for the door.
ED: Lex calls out after him, "You say that as if you think I don't have a backup plan."
AM: Lionel smiles, "So you're learning?" On his way out, "It's good to know all that money I spent on private school wasn't a complete waste."
continued...
ED: Clark enters, "We have all Lex's people on the south side of the island safely out of the blast radius. You sure you want to leave them here?"
AM: "They made their own choices, Clark. If they're going to work with the likes of Lex they're not going to get my charity."
ED: Clark looks conflicted.
AM: After a moment's silence Oliver sighs. "Oh, all right. We can try to squeeze them in."
ED: Clark gives his goofy big grin. Now, that's the gayest look of the episode!
AM: No way. It doesn't even compare to Oliver fighting with Clark because Clark was two timing him with Lex.
MR: What? No love for the Clex?
KK: Clex is like an old married couple. The thrill is gone.
ED: Besides, this is the makeup scene. You can't beat makeup sex.
KK: I don't know. There's a lot to be said for angry sex.
ED: Says the girl who's suddenly almost always angry.
KK: Exactly! Maybe I speak from experience.
TW: Then maybe you should be thanking Allison instead of trying to kill her.
AM: Yeah!
KK: There is a lot to be said for it. But not enough to save Allison.
TW: [To AM] I tried.
KK: [writing on her script] You failed.
TW: What are you writing?
KK: Nothing.
MR: [Leans in to look] B. D. [KK smacks his hand] Aye! Ow!
KK: Watch it Rosenbaum!
TW: You're going to punish Clark for that?
KK: Not necessarily. You could redeem yourself.
TW: How?
KK: We'll talk. In private.
AM: Don't forget you owe me, Tom.
KK: I'm about to find out just how much.
TW: [Looks uncomfortable]
AM: Outside the Star City airport. Zinda and Lois are saying goodbye, "Last chance to keep the jumpsuit. You positive you don't want it?"
ED: "Oh, I'm positive." Awkward pause, "Thanks, Zinda."
AM: "Well, Wes was my friend too."
ED: They hug.
AM: "You sure you're going to be OK?"
ED: "Yeah. Eventually."
AM: "You and Oliver... you have the same goals. You just go about them differently."
ED: "I know."
AM: Zinda looks skeptical, "You're going to bite his head off anyway, aren't you?"
ED: "Probably."
AM: "Do what you must, just try not to scar that pretty face of his."
ED: "Zinda..."
AM: "Don't worry, I'm not after your ex... yet."
ED: A police siren sounds off nearby.
AM: "Well, that's probably our cue to go."
ED: "It was good seeing you again, Zinda. Don't be a stranger."
AM: "Same here, Lois." They start walking their separate ways and Zinda stops. "And Lois?"
ED: Lois turns back around to face Zinda.
AM: "You actually weren't half bad... for an amateur."
ED: "Thanks."
AM: Zinda winks before walking off.
AM: Lex's office. Hope stands in front of his desk, at attention.
ED: Lex circles her, he's irate. "I can't believe it! I hand you the Justice League on a silver platter and what do you do?"
AM: Hope is silent.
ED: "Not only do they slip through your fingers they destroy our last facility and take our human assets!"
AM: "I'm sorry sir."
ED: "And we're no closer to finding out who they are or stopping them than ever, are we?"
AM: "Actually sir. I was able to positively identify one individual."
ED: "Finally, progress!"
AM: "Unfortunately this individual's presence may have further compromised the project."
ED: Lex slams the desk, "Who! Who is it!"
AM: "Lois Lane, sir."
ED: "She's dead!"
AM: "She is not. She saw everything and I fully expect her to publish it all. I suggest we dismantle..."
ED: "We're not dismantling anything!"
AM: "If this gets out to the press..."
ED: "Lois is a two bit reporter for a two bit newspaper. She can publish to her heart's content in the Inquisitor. No one is going to believe a word."
AM: "But sir..."
ED: Lionel enters, "I trust I'm not interrupting anything, son?"
AM: Lex to Hope, "You're dismissed."
ED: Hope exits, Lex turns his attention to Lionel "I'm surprised you still have the audacity to show up here."
AM: "I'm magnanimous in my defeat as always, son. Unlike you if my ears don't deceive me."
ED: "This is merely a setback."
AM: "I won't argue semantics. Still, did I hear your associate right? That Lois Lane lives?"
ED: "Mmmm. That's the rumor."
AM: "I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss her, son."
ED: "Lois Lane is nothing more than a pesky gnat."
AM: "If I remember correctly that pesky 'gnat' managed to put an end to your political aspirations."
ED: "No! You did, Dad. You filled the Kent campaign coffers. Surprisingly enough hardly a year later you have a United States Senator at your beck and call."
AM: "Touche, son. Still, though I may have forged the sword it was our dear Ms. Lane who slayed the dragon."
ED: Lex is amused, "Ever ready with the pithy analogy, eh Dad? You should teach a course."
AM: Lionel, however, is not amused. "Watch your back, son." He heads for the door.
ED: Lex calls out after him, "You say that as if you think I don't have a backup plan."
AM: Lionel smiles, "So you're learning?" On his way out, "It's good to know all that money I spent on private school wasn't a complete waste."
continued...
7.04 Embedded by AM & ED (Part VI)
ED: Now Clark gets to be heroic.
TW: Finally!
AM: He's at the entrance with Oliver. They're checking on Cyborg when a bunch of freaks show up.
ED: Oliver observes that this doesn't look too good. They hear a gun shot.
AM: Clark looks concerned, "Lois."
ED: Oliver, "Go. I'll hold them off as long as I can."
AM: Hope lands on the ground. Lois falls on top of her.
MR: LezYay! Did anyone's shirt come off?
AM: No! [pause. To ED] Right?
ED: Eh, maybe.
MR: Yes!
ED: Lois tries to wrestle the gun away as Hope fires several shots at Zinda.
AM: Clark super speeds in and swats away a few bullets headed directly for Zinda.
ED: We go back into real time. Clark hides in the shadows.
AM: Hope is out of bullets. She throws Lois off her and scrambles for another gun. As she pulls it out of the holster a chair comes smashing down over her head.
MR: What? No!
ED: It's my episode. Get over it. Pan up to Lois holding the remains of the chair. She drops them and dusts off her hands. "Didn't see that one coming, huh? Maybe you can take a refresher course once you're back in prison."
MR: This is completely unfair! Hope was supposed to be a capable minion!
AM: Then you write her capable.
ED: But she can't kick Lois' ass.
MR: Speaking of which, what's with this Mary Sueing of Lois? She shouldn't be able to beat Hope!
AoT: You think the Mary Sueing is any worse than usual?
MR: Well... no. But I still don't like it.
TW: Hope basically did kick Lois' ass. Then Lois started fighting dirty.
JG: That she did.
MR: Hope should be the one fighting dirty!
ED: Dirty? Hope's the one bringing guns to a street fight... And Hope did not kick Lois'...
AM: Zinda disables the freak control mechanism. "Seems you still remember a few moves from our bar room brawling days."
ED: "Not too flashy but still as effective as ever." Lois goes on about Zinda being able to count on her.
AM: Zinda doesn't seem completely convinced. Clark smiles knowingly.
ED: Outside Oliver has his crossbow aimed but instead of continuing to advance the freaks are coming out of a trance.
AM: Cyborg is coming to as well. Over the comm Chloe asks for status.
ED: Oliver is pleased, "We've done it! Mission accomplished. "
AM: Cut to Chloe. She's shedding tears of relief. Does she really need to do that?
ED: Sure she does. She loves these guys, every single one of them.
TW: Allison did you have any control over this episode?
AM: No. Not much.
MR: I didn't think so.
AM: "I thought I'd lost you guys for a second there."
ED: "I think a victory celebration is in order. Are you up for it?"
AM: "I'd love to." She glances at a draft of an article on 33.1, "But I've got a prior engagement."
ED: "Suit yourself. Green Arrow out."
AM: Our freaks are filing into the LuthorCorp plane as Oliver and Victor look on.
ED: Lois approaches Victor, "So you're another one of Oliver's buddies? What's your beef with Luthor?"
AM: "He tried to do to me exactly what he did to all these others. But..."
ED: Oliver gives Victor as warning glace.
AM: "He turned me into a freak. I lost my family, my girl, but at least he never got the chance to put one of those chips in me."
ED: "The guy is a read bastard." I thought you'd like that, Michael.
MR: You know what I would have liked? For Lex to have actually defeated the Justice League!
ED: There's always next year.
MR: My contract is up next year.
ED: Then you're SOL. Lois tears up, "I wish Wes had had the chance you did. You know? To fight back."
AM: Oliver moves to put his hand on Lois' shoulder, "Look Lois, I'm sorry...."
ED: Lois pulls away, still tearing up, "Don't touch me."
AM: "Lois..."
ED: "Why didn't you trust me, Oliver?"
AM: Oliver can't look her in the eye. He hesitates.
ED: "If I had known who you really are.... what you really do? Wes might still be alive. We could have saved him." Lois stomps off.
AM: Oliver calls after her but she keeps going. He watches her walk away for a moment then turns to Victor, "I really screwed that up, didn't I?"
ED: "You're looking to me for love advice? You are bad off."
ED: And now for another Martha scene.
AoT: About time.
ED: I had a plan for it but if you want her hooking up with Lionel we have to come up with something else.
AoT: It is my choice.
TW: I don't like that at all.
AM: Martha can't hook up with Lionel here. He's got to be back in Smallville...
JG: Smallville? Screw that!
AM: ...to taunt Lex about his recent defeat.
JG: Well that's different.
AoT: You'd rather taunt Lex than have a fling with Martha?
JG: Lionel can have a fling with Martha any old time but the chance to mock Lex for failure only happens...
KK: About once every episode?
MR: Lex doesn't fail every episode!
JG: He's right, Kristen.
MR: See?
JG: Sometimes he fails utterly! And this is one of those times. Sorry Annette, Martha is going to have to take a rain check.
AoT: Can Martha hook up with that alien rights guy?
JG: The alien rights guy? Have you no sense of fidelity?
MR: You mean the mutant rights guy?
AoT: Yeah, him. Is he good looking?
TW: Martha doesn't need to be hooking up with a lobbyist!
AoT: I, I hadn't thought about that! That makes it even dirtier!
TW: I'm begging you Erica, don't let this happen!
AoT: Erica I'm glad you're back but if you don't let Martha hook up with the mutant rights guy I'm going to body slam you.
ED: [gulps. She looks at TW]
TW: Erica...
AoT: Don't think I can't body slam you too, Welling.
ED: OK, Annette. If that's what you want.
AoT: That's what I want.
TW: I'm taking this up with Al & Miles!
AoT: [Looks at TW menacingly]
TW: Maybe.
AM: OK. But I hope you enjoy kissing prosthetics.
AoT: What are you talking about?
AM: The mutant guy? You don't think he's out of the closet for his health do you?
AoT: I thought he was brave and courageous!
AM: He is. But he also has physical mutations. That's why he's not able to keep it a secret.
AoT: Really?
AM: Yeah. [AM hesitates] Check the premier script.
KK: I don't remember putting anything in there about physical deformities.
AM: It wasn't like you were paying any attention.
KK: Still I think I would have remembered...
JG: Lana being alive?
KK: Shut up, John!
AoT: OK, she'll just meet with the freak. No hooking up.
TW: Thank God.
AM: [leans over and whispers in TW's ear] You owe me one.
ED: Lois walks up to Zinda. "We're leaving."
AM: It's the obligatory anvil scene. "I've got to tell you, that AC fellow is quite a catch!"
JG: Hardy freakin' har.
ED: "There are other fish in the sea, Zinda. Let's go."
MR: Hardy freakin' har.
AM: "Already?"
ED: "I can't stay here."
AM: "So your ex-boyfriend turned out to have a secret identity. It could be worse."
ED: "Yeah? Like how?"
AM: "It's not as if he's from another planet."
TW: Hardy...
ED: Shut up. "Another planet maybe I could deal with -- if he had told me. That's not what I care about. It's the fact he didn't trust me."
AM: "Do we have to leave now? I was hoping to get the fish boy's number."
ED: Lois seems angry.
AM: Zinda's eyes get wide. "Oh. My. God. Is there anyone on this team you haven't hooked up with, Lois?"
ED: Lois walks past Zinda towards the second LuthorCorp plane. "That's rich, coming from you!" Zinda gazes longingly in the direction Lois came from for a few seconds before following.
continued...
TW: Finally!
AM: He's at the entrance with Oliver. They're checking on Cyborg when a bunch of freaks show up.
ED: Oliver observes that this doesn't look too good. They hear a gun shot.
AM: Clark looks concerned, "Lois."
ED: Oliver, "Go. I'll hold them off as long as I can."
AM: Hope lands on the ground. Lois falls on top of her.
MR: LezYay! Did anyone's shirt come off?
AM: No! [pause. To ED] Right?
ED: Eh, maybe.
MR: Yes!
ED: Lois tries to wrestle the gun away as Hope fires several shots at Zinda.
AM: Clark super speeds in and swats away a few bullets headed directly for Zinda.
ED: We go back into real time. Clark hides in the shadows.
AM: Hope is out of bullets. She throws Lois off her and scrambles for another gun. As she pulls it out of the holster a chair comes smashing down over her head.
MR: What? No!
ED: It's my episode. Get over it. Pan up to Lois holding the remains of the chair. She drops them and dusts off her hands. "Didn't see that one coming, huh? Maybe you can take a refresher course once you're back in prison."
MR: This is completely unfair! Hope was supposed to be a capable minion!
AM: Then you write her capable.
ED: But she can't kick Lois' ass.
MR: Speaking of which, what's with this Mary Sueing of Lois? She shouldn't be able to beat Hope!
AoT: You think the Mary Sueing is any worse than usual?
MR: Well... no. But I still don't like it.
TW: Hope basically did kick Lois' ass. Then Lois started fighting dirty.
JG: That she did.
MR: Hope should be the one fighting dirty!
ED: Dirty? Hope's the one bringing guns to a street fight... And Hope did not kick Lois'...
AM: Zinda disables the freak control mechanism. "Seems you still remember a few moves from our bar room brawling days."
ED: "Not too flashy but still as effective as ever." Lois goes on about Zinda being able to count on her.
AM: Zinda doesn't seem completely convinced. Clark smiles knowingly.
ED: Outside Oliver has his crossbow aimed but instead of continuing to advance the freaks are coming out of a trance.
AM: Cyborg is coming to as well. Over the comm Chloe asks for status.
ED: Oliver is pleased, "We've done it! Mission accomplished. "
AM: Cut to Chloe. She's shedding tears of relief. Does she really need to do that?
ED: Sure she does. She loves these guys, every single one of them.
TW: Allison did you have any control over this episode?
AM: No. Not much.
MR: I didn't think so.
AM: "I thought I'd lost you guys for a second there."
ED: "I think a victory celebration is in order. Are you up for it?"
AM: "I'd love to." She glances at a draft of an article on 33.1, "But I've got a prior engagement."
ED: "Suit yourself. Green Arrow out."
AM: Our freaks are filing into the LuthorCorp plane as Oliver and Victor look on.
ED: Lois approaches Victor, "So you're another one of Oliver's buddies? What's your beef with Luthor?"
AM: "He tried to do to me exactly what he did to all these others. But..."
ED: Oliver gives Victor as warning glace.
AM: "He turned me into a freak. I lost my family, my girl, but at least he never got the chance to put one of those chips in me."
ED: "The guy is a read bastard." I thought you'd like that, Michael.
MR: You know what I would have liked? For Lex to have actually defeated the Justice League!
ED: There's always next year.
MR: My contract is up next year.
ED: Then you're SOL. Lois tears up, "I wish Wes had had the chance you did. You know? To fight back."
AM: Oliver moves to put his hand on Lois' shoulder, "Look Lois, I'm sorry...."
ED: Lois pulls away, still tearing up, "Don't touch me."
AM: "Lois..."
ED: "Why didn't you trust me, Oliver?"
AM: Oliver can't look her in the eye. He hesitates.
ED: "If I had known who you really are.... what you really do? Wes might still be alive. We could have saved him." Lois stomps off.
AM: Oliver calls after her but she keeps going. He watches her walk away for a moment then turns to Victor, "I really screwed that up, didn't I?"
ED: "You're looking to me for love advice? You are bad off."
ED: And now for another Martha scene.
AoT: About time.
ED: I had a plan for it but if you want her hooking up with Lionel we have to come up with something else.
AoT: It is my choice.
TW: I don't like that at all.
AM: Martha can't hook up with Lionel here. He's got to be back in Smallville...
JG: Smallville? Screw that!
AM: ...to taunt Lex about his recent defeat.
JG: Well that's different.
AoT: You'd rather taunt Lex than have a fling with Martha?
JG: Lionel can have a fling with Martha any old time but the chance to mock Lex for failure only happens...
KK: About once every episode?
MR: Lex doesn't fail every episode!
JG: He's right, Kristen.
MR: See?
JG: Sometimes he fails utterly! And this is one of those times. Sorry Annette, Martha is going to have to take a rain check.
AoT: Can Martha hook up with that alien rights guy?
JG: The alien rights guy? Have you no sense of fidelity?
MR: You mean the mutant rights guy?
AoT: Yeah, him. Is he good looking?
TW: Martha doesn't need to be hooking up with a lobbyist!
AoT: I, I hadn't thought about that! That makes it even dirtier!
TW: I'm begging you Erica, don't let this happen!
AoT: Erica I'm glad you're back but if you don't let Martha hook up with the mutant rights guy I'm going to body slam you.
ED: [gulps. She looks at TW]
TW: Erica...
AoT: Don't think I can't body slam you too, Welling.
ED: OK, Annette. If that's what you want.
AoT: That's what I want.
TW: I'm taking this up with Al & Miles!
AoT: [Looks at TW menacingly]
TW: Maybe.
AM: OK. But I hope you enjoy kissing prosthetics.
AoT: What are you talking about?
AM: The mutant guy? You don't think he's out of the closet for his health do you?
AoT: I thought he was brave and courageous!
AM: He is. But he also has physical mutations. That's why he's not able to keep it a secret.
AoT: Really?
AM: Yeah. [AM hesitates] Check the premier script.
KK: I don't remember putting anything in there about physical deformities.
AM: It wasn't like you were paying any attention.
KK: Still I think I would have remembered...
JG: Lana being alive?
KK: Shut up, John!
AoT: OK, she'll just meet with the freak. No hooking up.
TW: Thank God.
AM: [leans over and whispers in TW's ear] You owe me one.
ED: Lois walks up to Zinda. "We're leaving."
AM: It's the obligatory anvil scene. "I've got to tell you, that AC fellow is quite a catch!"
JG: Hardy freakin' har.
ED: "There are other fish in the sea, Zinda. Let's go."
MR: Hardy freakin' har.
AM: "Already?"
ED: "I can't stay here."
AM: "So your ex-boyfriend turned out to have a secret identity. It could be worse."
ED: "Yeah? Like how?"
AM: "It's not as if he's from another planet."
TW: Hardy...
ED: Shut up. "Another planet maybe I could deal with -- if he had told me. That's not what I care about. It's the fact he didn't trust me."
AM: "Do we have to leave now? I was hoping to get the fish boy's number."
ED: Lois seems angry.
AM: Zinda's eyes get wide. "Oh. My. God. Is there anyone on this team you haven't hooked up with, Lois?"
ED: Lois walks past Zinda towards the second LuthorCorp plane. "That's rich, coming from you!" Zinda gazes longingly in the direction Lois came from for a few seconds before following.
continued...
7.04 Embedded by AM & ED (Part V)
ED: Maybe.
AM: Maybe? It is the gayest!
ED: It's just the gayest so far. At the last second Clark punches the freak coming towards him and Oliver hits the other with an arrow.
AM: Chloe says her line about how things are going.
ED: Clark answers they have things under control.
AM: Chloe disagrees.
ED: And so does the remaining freak. He cleans Clark's clock.
TW: Ouch.
ED: Cut to Lois parachuting and then her POV from above Clark and Green Arrow. Into her comm, "Blackhawk, this is Scoopgirl. Things aren't looking good from where I'm standing. Er, falling."
AM: Zinda is landing. "I can't believe you're going by Scoopgirl."
ED: "I wanted to be Iceman but I knew you'd never stop making lame '80s jokes."
AM: "You were right. I'm touching down now. Give me a couple minutes to hack the security system.
ED: "I don't think we have a couple minutes!"
AM: Mocking Star Trek's Scotty, "I'll give 'er all I can, captain!"
ED: "Shut up! Scoopgirl out." Lois lands.
AM: Cut to Zinda. She finds Cyborg laying outside the compound and checks the security console. "Thanks for all the hard work, soldier." She taps a few keys and the light goes from red to green. "Bingo."
ED: Cut to Lois pulling off her helmet from the teaser. Once again she says she's there to take down Lex.
AM: "Lois? I thought you were dead."
ED: "I didn't think you cared."
AM: "Lois, you know that's not true."
ED: "Do I?" She pulls a few piece of debris off Oliver and offers him her hand, "Can you stand?"
AM: Oliver struggles to stand up, "Thanks, Lois."
ED: Looking around, "Now, wasn't there another one of you?"
AM: "I'll get him. We need someone still quick on their feet to make sure the security parameter is taken care of."
ED: "Right." Lois heads off.
AM: Oliver hobbles over towards Clark, "Bet you never thought you'd be glad to see her again, huh?" He bends down to roll the freak off of Clark.
TW: Wait. Lois saves the Justice League?
ED: Refreshing, isn't it?
TW: It's idiotic!
MR: It is kind of ridiculous.
ED: You want Lex to defeat the League or not?
MR: If I have to choose between being defeated by the League or Lois Lane...
ED: You know what? Forget it. You don't have a choice.
TW: I just have a problem that on a show that's supposed to be about Superman you've turned Clark into a minor member of a League that has to have it's ass saved by...
ED: Don't you dare say it!
JG: Two girls?
ED: I said don't say it!
JG: That's why I said it.
TW: That's not what I meant. I meant a guest star and another minor character.
ED: Oh, so Lois is a minor character now?
AM: She was dead up until just now.
KK: I wonder what that was like. I bet it was nice.
ED: What about all those times Chloe saved Clark's ass? Huh?
AM: What about them?
JG: Superman always having to be saved by a girl, one without powers to boot.
AM: Chloe has powers!
JG: Sure, now she does. But before? It's pathetic isn't it?
TW: I didn't care for those all that much either.
AM: Tom!?!?
TW: Clark saves people in danger, not the other way around!
ED: It's a brave new world, Tom. Get used to it.
TW: [To AM] I can't believe you let her do this!
AM: It's out of my hands, Tom. Talk to Al & Miles.
ED: Save your breath, Tom. I have them wrapped around my finger.
KK: You do, do you?
ED: Yeah, I do.
KK: Can you get Lana killed?
ED: I'd have to cash in all my chips... and even then...
KK: [Angry] So you're not even going to try?
ED: Kristen, I...
KK: Don't worry, Tom. She'll get hers.
ED: Kristen, all of a sudden you got really scary, didn't you?
KK: [Smirks] You don't know the half of it.
ED: As Lois crosses the island she sees the second plane approaching for a landing, "Blackhawk, looks like our company intends to stay."
AM: Zinda is inspecting racks of computer lab equipment. Several guards lay unconscious around her. "Swell."
ED: "Should I blowup the runway?"
AM: "You could. But then we would have no way out of here."
ED: "What are the chances they're friendly?"
AM: "About as good as you keeping a boyfriend for more than a month?"
ED: "OK, I'm officially ignoring you now."
AM: "As long as you're ignoring me can you make sure they don't get into the facility for a couple minutes?"
ED: "You counting on me?"
AM: "Do I have another choice?" Zinda starts humming "Danger Zone".
ED: "Stop it."
AM: "Whatever you say, Iceman."
ED: Back to Clark and Oliver.
AM: Ollie picks his communicator back up.
ED: "Watchtower, this is Green Arrow. What's the status?"
AM: "You tell me. I'm completely freaking out over here! Have you been captured? Who took your communicator?"
ED: "Don't worry, Watchtower. We're going to be OK."
AM: "Is she a friendly?"
ED: Oliver hesitates, "More or less. Mostly less. But the important part is she saved our ass."
AM: Cut back to Chloe looking confused, "What...?"
ED: Clark notices a couple of the freaks regaining consciousness. "Now's not the best time. We're not out of the woods yet."
AM: Hope deplanes. She eyes the other LuthorCorp jet with disdain.
ED: Her pilot appears in the hatch, "Do you require assistance, mam?"
AM: Hope spots Lois running for the facility entrance in the distance the two are approximately equidistant from it. Hope's eyes narrow, "No. I'll take care of this myself." She takes off.
ED: Hope and Lois meet just outside the facility.
AM: Hope is livid, "You! You're supposed to be dead!"
ED: At first Lois doesn't recognize her. But when she does she makes a crack about the big house.
AM: Hope pulls a gun.
ED: Lois tells Hope she looked better without hair and calls her Lex's yap dog.
AM: This pisses Hope off. She tries to pistol whip Lois but Lois grabs Hope's arm and shakes the gun loose.
ED: There's a nice little cat fight. Lois laments the fact that if she's going to be wearing Zinda's outfit Lex could have at least sent a male minion.
MR: Do we get any LezYay like in Combat?
ED: Sure. If you want LezYay you can have a little LezYay.
MR: Really?
ED: I figure it's the least I can do if I'm going to withhold Sex.
TW: In other words you're just going to tease?
ED: Shut up.
AM: Hope counters all of Lois' moves fairly easily.
ED: "You've learned a few moves since the last time we met."
AM: "Prison will do that for a girl."
ED: "Oh, yeah? Let's see if they taught you this one." Lois attempts a flying kick.
AM: Hope catches Lois' leg with Lois in mid air and twists it around knocking Lois on her ass.
ED: "I guess so." Lois gets up and moves to block the entrance.
AM: "You're not trying to defeat me. You're just trying to keep me contained. Why?"
ED: "I don't know what you're talking about."
AM: Hope moves to punch Lois. When Lois moves to block Hope grabs her arm and flips her. Hope runs into the facility.
ED: Lois warns Zinda with her comm, "I hope you're almost done, company is coming."
AM: Cut to Zinda disabling the freak control system.
TW: The "freak control system"?
AM: We'll have the appropriate technobabble ready in time for the episode. She tells Lois she just needs a minute or two more.
ED: "Great." Lois runs after Hope.
AM: But Hope gets to the control room first and takes one of the downed guard's guns. She aims at Zinda and tells Zinda back away from the control.
ED: Just as Lois careens into her...
AM: Hope fires.
continued...
AM: Maybe? It is the gayest!
ED: It's just the gayest so far. At the last second Clark punches the freak coming towards him and Oliver hits the other with an arrow.
AM: Chloe says her line about how things are going.
ED: Clark answers they have things under control.
AM: Chloe disagrees.
ED: And so does the remaining freak. He cleans Clark's clock.
TW: Ouch.
ED: Cut to Lois parachuting and then her POV from above Clark and Green Arrow. Into her comm, "Blackhawk, this is Scoopgirl. Things aren't looking good from where I'm standing. Er, falling."
AM: Zinda is landing. "I can't believe you're going by Scoopgirl."
ED: "I wanted to be Iceman but I knew you'd never stop making lame '80s jokes."
AM: "You were right. I'm touching down now. Give me a couple minutes to hack the security system.
ED: "I don't think we have a couple minutes!"
AM: Mocking Star Trek's Scotty, "I'll give 'er all I can, captain!"
ED: "Shut up! Scoopgirl out." Lois lands.
AM: Cut to Zinda. She finds Cyborg laying outside the compound and checks the security console. "Thanks for all the hard work, soldier." She taps a few keys and the light goes from red to green. "Bingo."
ED: Cut to Lois pulling off her helmet from the teaser. Once again she says she's there to take down Lex.
AM: "Lois? I thought you were dead."
ED: "I didn't think you cared."
AM: "Lois, you know that's not true."
ED: "Do I?" She pulls a few piece of debris off Oliver and offers him her hand, "Can you stand?"
AM: Oliver struggles to stand up, "Thanks, Lois."
ED: Looking around, "Now, wasn't there another one of you?"
AM: "I'll get him. We need someone still quick on their feet to make sure the security parameter is taken care of."
ED: "Right." Lois heads off.
AM: Oliver hobbles over towards Clark, "Bet you never thought you'd be glad to see her again, huh?" He bends down to roll the freak off of Clark.
TW: Wait. Lois saves the Justice League?
ED: Refreshing, isn't it?
TW: It's idiotic!
MR: It is kind of ridiculous.
ED: You want Lex to defeat the League or not?
MR: If I have to choose between being defeated by the League or Lois Lane...
ED: You know what? Forget it. You don't have a choice.
TW: I just have a problem that on a show that's supposed to be about Superman you've turned Clark into a minor member of a League that has to have it's ass saved by...
ED: Don't you dare say it!
JG: Two girls?
ED: I said don't say it!
JG: That's why I said it.
TW: That's not what I meant. I meant a guest star and another minor character.
ED: Oh, so Lois is a minor character now?
AM: She was dead up until just now.
KK: I wonder what that was like. I bet it was nice.
ED: What about all those times Chloe saved Clark's ass? Huh?
AM: What about them?
JG: Superman always having to be saved by a girl, one without powers to boot.
AM: Chloe has powers!
JG: Sure, now she does. But before? It's pathetic isn't it?
TW: I didn't care for those all that much either.
AM: Tom!?!?
TW: Clark saves people in danger, not the other way around!
ED: It's a brave new world, Tom. Get used to it.
TW: [To AM] I can't believe you let her do this!
AM: It's out of my hands, Tom. Talk to Al & Miles.
ED: Save your breath, Tom. I have them wrapped around my finger.
KK: You do, do you?
ED: Yeah, I do.
KK: Can you get Lana killed?
ED: I'd have to cash in all my chips... and even then...
KK: [Angry] So you're not even going to try?
ED: Kristen, I...
KK: Don't worry, Tom. She'll get hers.
ED: Kristen, all of a sudden you got really scary, didn't you?
KK: [Smirks] You don't know the half of it.
ED: As Lois crosses the island she sees the second plane approaching for a landing, "Blackhawk, looks like our company intends to stay."
AM: Zinda is inspecting racks of computer lab equipment. Several guards lay unconscious around her. "Swell."
ED: "Should I blowup the runway?"
AM: "You could. But then we would have no way out of here."
ED: "What are the chances they're friendly?"
AM: "About as good as you keeping a boyfriend for more than a month?"
ED: "OK, I'm officially ignoring you now."
AM: "As long as you're ignoring me can you make sure they don't get into the facility for a couple minutes?"
ED: "You counting on me?"
AM: "Do I have another choice?" Zinda starts humming "Danger Zone".
ED: "Stop it."
AM: "Whatever you say, Iceman."
ED: Back to Clark and Oliver.
AM: Ollie picks his communicator back up.
ED: "Watchtower, this is Green Arrow. What's the status?"
AM: "You tell me. I'm completely freaking out over here! Have you been captured? Who took your communicator?"
ED: "Don't worry, Watchtower. We're going to be OK."
AM: "Is she a friendly?"
ED: Oliver hesitates, "More or less. Mostly less. But the important part is she saved our ass."
AM: Cut back to Chloe looking confused, "What...?"
ED: Clark notices a couple of the freaks regaining consciousness. "Now's not the best time. We're not out of the woods yet."
AM: Hope deplanes. She eyes the other LuthorCorp jet with disdain.
ED: Her pilot appears in the hatch, "Do you require assistance, mam?"
AM: Hope spots Lois running for the facility entrance in the distance the two are approximately equidistant from it. Hope's eyes narrow, "No. I'll take care of this myself." She takes off.
ED: Hope and Lois meet just outside the facility.
AM: Hope is livid, "You! You're supposed to be dead!"
ED: At first Lois doesn't recognize her. But when she does she makes a crack about the big house.
AM: Hope pulls a gun.
ED: Lois tells Hope she looked better without hair and calls her Lex's yap dog.
AM: This pisses Hope off. She tries to pistol whip Lois but Lois grabs Hope's arm and shakes the gun loose.
ED: There's a nice little cat fight. Lois laments the fact that if she's going to be wearing Zinda's outfit Lex could have at least sent a male minion.
MR: Do we get any LezYay like in Combat?
ED: Sure. If you want LezYay you can have a little LezYay.
MR: Really?
ED: I figure it's the least I can do if I'm going to withhold Sex.
TW: In other words you're just going to tease?
ED: Shut up.
AM: Hope counters all of Lois' moves fairly easily.
ED: "You've learned a few moves since the last time we met."
AM: "Prison will do that for a girl."
ED: "Oh, yeah? Let's see if they taught you this one." Lois attempts a flying kick.
AM: Hope catches Lois' leg with Lois in mid air and twists it around knocking Lois on her ass.
ED: "I guess so." Lois gets up and moves to block the entrance.
AM: "You're not trying to defeat me. You're just trying to keep me contained. Why?"
ED: "I don't know what you're talking about."
AM: Hope moves to punch Lois. When Lois moves to block Hope grabs her arm and flips her. Hope runs into the facility.
ED: Lois warns Zinda with her comm, "I hope you're almost done, company is coming."
AM: Cut to Zinda disabling the freak control system.
TW: The "freak control system"?
AM: We'll have the appropriate technobabble ready in time for the episode. She tells Lois she just needs a minute or two more.
ED: "Great." Lois runs after Hope.
AM: But Hope gets to the control room first and takes one of the downed guard's guns. She aims at Zinda and tells Zinda back away from the control.
ED: Just as Lois careens into her...
AM: Hope fires.
continued...
7.04 Embedded by AM & ED (Part IV)
JG: I beg to differ!
ED: Can she summon up the courage to spurn her sexy but shady financial backer and possibly her son for the good of mutants everywhere?
AM: A bit melodramatic, ya think?
ED: It's Martha Kent's defining moment!
AoT: It's beautiful!
JG: It's crap!
AoT: But she should definitely scrap the legislation.
ED: What?
AoT: And run off with Lionel.
TW: What?
JG: Now that's Emmy winning!
ED: Annette, I...
AoT: Said it was my scene and I could do anything I wanted?
ED: Yes, but...
AoT: But what?
TW: Maybe she would prefer...
AoT: Erica is perfectly capable of speaking for herself, Tom.
ED: You know what? Do whatever you want. You don't want an Emmy no skin off my back.
TW: You're going to let Martha run off with Lionel?!
ED: Why not? She's been itching to do it since I joined this soap opera. Let the woman have some fun.
AM: Computing center.
ED: Lois stands and raises her hands. To Zinda, "Don't worry. They won't shoot Lex's computers."
AM: Zinda follows suit, "You sure about that?"
ED: "Pretty sure."
AM: A guard barks for them not to move. He keeps his gun aimed has two others approach with hand cuffs. "If they get those cuffs on us it's game over."
ED: "I know. Follow my lead."
AM: As a guard takes her hands Lois flips him over and steps on his groin. Zinda neutralizes the other. The remaining guards start shooting. Ducking for cover, "I thought you said they wouldn't shoot Lex's computers!"
ED: "Obviously I was wrong!"
AM: "Got any more bright ideas?"
ED: Lois spots the circuit breaker. "Actually, I do."
AM: "Why don't I feel any better?"
ED: Lois lunges for the circuit breaker and pulls the lever.
AM: The lights go out. "So, what do we do now?"
ED: "I'll think of something." Generators kick in and the lights come back on. "Crap!" Lois notices Zinda has pulled a gun off an unconscious guard. "Um, Zinda, what are you doing?"
AM: "Thinking of something."
ED: "I told you no guns!"
AM: "Yeah? Well they started it!" Zinda fires.
ED: Lois is worried. "Please don't kill anyone."
AM: Zinda takes another shot. "Don't worry Lois." Show the two guards on the ground holding their knee caps. "I'm may be a killer in the sack... but I'm not one in the field."
ED: Lois stares at the guards, "Nice shooting, Terminator."
AM: "OK, boys, drop your guns or the next shot might hit something vital."
ED: The guards drop their guns. "Ready for a tropical island get away?"
AM: "Lucky for me I packed my suit."
ED: "Now, about how to get there..."
AM: Zinda pulls out another LuthorCorp ID with the picture of a pilot, waves it in front of Lois and smiles, "Can you get us to the airport?"
ED: "You little devil."
AM: "It's a shame too. He was pretty charming. I was tempted to give him my real number. Now let's get out of here before they send re-enforcements."
ED: Lex's office. Hope is there.
AM: "They've fallen for the bait but there's a concern."
ED: Hope is calm, "We've planned for this, sir. The Green Arrow's mercenaries will be defeated."
AM: "The data we left for them has been accessed from two separate locations. I'm not convinced the Green Arrow is behind both breeches."
ED: "You think it's the Sullivan woman?"
AM: "No. She's not this sloppy. It's someone else."
ED: "What do you want me to do?"
AM: "A third party could introduce an unacceptable level of uncertainty. I want you to oversee Green Arrow's defeat personally."
ED: "My pleasure, sir." Hope moves to exit.
AM: "And Hope."
ED: She turns, "Yes sir."
AM: "I want him and his minions taken alive."
ED: "Sir?"
AM: "After what they've put us through, death is too easy. Besides once they're dead their potential value as test subjects is spoiled."
ED: Hope smiles, "Understood."
AM: "This time I win."
ED: LuthorCorp jet. Zinda is piloting. Lois is zipping up a black jump suit. "Is there anything you can't flirt your way into?"
AM: "The smarter the person the less effective it gets."
ED: "And then there's the women, I suppose."
AM: "Like I said..."
ED: Lois chuckles and sits down in the co-pilot's chair.
AM: "How does it fit?"
ED: "Honestly? It's a little tight in the bust."
AM: Zinda glances away from the controls, "Silly girl, it's not supposed to be zipped all the way up."
ED: "Oh." Lois hesitantly pulls the zipper back down, exposing a hint of cleavage.
MR: Since when is Lois modest?
AoT: Ever jumped out of an airplane topless, Michael?
MR: She wouldn't be topless...
AoT: Let me tell you , it's not a fun as it sounds!
KK: Annette?!?
ED: Besides, it's not about being modest. It's about being appropriate!
AM: Like answering the door naked is appropriate!
ED: No. That's just stupid.
AM: [smirks at ED]
ED: Oh, yeah. Um... Can we just get on with the script?
AM: Whatever you say, "Now that's better, isn't it?"
ED: Unconvinced, "Depends on your point of view."
AM: "And you wonder why your social life sucks."
MR: She tried opening doors naked...
JG: Dressing like a stripper...
KK: And jogging through town practically naked...
MR: ... and that didn't seem to help.
ED: You all can just bite me, OK? "We're going to be knocking heads together down there, not trolling for men!"
AM: "You might be surprised the sort of advantages you can squeeze out a single moment of distraction, Lois."
MR: Squeeze being the operative word.
ED: Lois smiles sheepishly a lowers the zipper a couple more inches.
AM: Zinda smiles back, "Now you're talking."
ED: Lois glaces at her chest, "Yeah, I'm just not sure I like what I'm saying."
MR: Is is complete out of character bullshit. The real Lois would have that thing zipped all the way down.
AoT: Wait. Is this the real Lois? What if she was replaced by an evil clone?
KK: An evil clone that actually likes journalism.
TW: And Clark.
MR: And isn't nearly as annoying.
AM: No, she's still just as annoying.
ED: Shut up, all of you!
AM: Zinda turns back to the controls and smiles to herself. The radar beeps.
ED: "We've got company."
AM: The island is visible in the distance. "Good thing we're almost there. Is that... smoke?"
ED: "Could it be industrial?"
AM: "Not if the blue prints are correct. Someone started the party without us."
ED: "Green Arrow."
AM: "Is that good or bad?"
ED: "Depends on your point of view."
AM: On the island Oliver shoots arrow after arrow, "It would be really nice to have that security parameter down about now."
ED: Cut to Cyborg pounding away at some freaks, "I heard you the last time!" One of the freaks goes down. "Almost there."
AM: Oliver, "That's what you said last time." Five huge freaks appear over a ridge.
ED: And this is where we intersect with the teaser.
AM: Oliver shoots an arrow. One of the freaks catches it and breaks it in his hand. "Great. Watchtower! I need backup and I need backup now! Who's available?"
ED: Clark zips in and takes one of the freaks out with punch from behind. "I am."
AM: "Glad you could make it." Oliver shoots an arrow at a freak sneaking up on Clark. The arrow hits the distracted freak taking him down.
ED: "I can't believe you started without me!"
AM: "I can't believe you went to Lex!"
ED: "Everyone deserves a second...."
AM: In Clark's face, "The next time you think about giving Lex Luthor another chance... don't!"
ED: They stare each other down.
AM: It's the gayest look of the episode.
continued...
ED: Can she summon up the courage to spurn her sexy but shady financial backer and possibly her son for the good of mutants everywhere?
AM: A bit melodramatic, ya think?
ED: It's Martha Kent's defining moment!
AoT: It's beautiful!
JG: It's crap!
AoT: But she should definitely scrap the legislation.
ED: What?
AoT: And run off with Lionel.
TW: What?
JG: Now that's Emmy winning!
ED: Annette, I...
AoT: Said it was my scene and I could do anything I wanted?
ED: Yes, but...
AoT: But what?
TW: Maybe she would prefer...
AoT: Erica is perfectly capable of speaking for herself, Tom.
ED: You know what? Do whatever you want. You don't want an Emmy no skin off my back.
TW: You're going to let Martha run off with Lionel?!
ED: Why not? She's been itching to do it since I joined this soap opera. Let the woman have some fun.
AM: Computing center.
ED: Lois stands and raises her hands. To Zinda, "Don't worry. They won't shoot Lex's computers."
AM: Zinda follows suit, "You sure about that?"
ED: "Pretty sure."
AM: A guard barks for them not to move. He keeps his gun aimed has two others approach with hand cuffs. "If they get those cuffs on us it's game over."
ED: "I know. Follow my lead."
AM: As a guard takes her hands Lois flips him over and steps on his groin. Zinda neutralizes the other. The remaining guards start shooting. Ducking for cover, "I thought you said they wouldn't shoot Lex's computers!"
ED: "Obviously I was wrong!"
AM: "Got any more bright ideas?"
ED: Lois spots the circuit breaker. "Actually, I do."
AM: "Why don't I feel any better?"
ED: Lois lunges for the circuit breaker and pulls the lever.
AM: The lights go out. "So, what do we do now?"
ED: "I'll think of something." Generators kick in and the lights come back on. "Crap!" Lois notices Zinda has pulled a gun off an unconscious guard. "Um, Zinda, what are you doing?"
AM: "Thinking of something."
ED: "I told you no guns!"
AM: "Yeah? Well they started it!" Zinda fires.
ED: Lois is worried. "Please don't kill anyone."
AM: Zinda takes another shot. "Don't worry Lois." Show the two guards on the ground holding their knee caps. "I'm may be a killer in the sack... but I'm not one in the field."
ED: Lois stares at the guards, "Nice shooting, Terminator."
AM: "OK, boys, drop your guns or the next shot might hit something vital."
ED: The guards drop their guns. "Ready for a tropical island get away?"
AM: "Lucky for me I packed my suit."
ED: "Now, about how to get there..."
AM: Zinda pulls out another LuthorCorp ID with the picture of a pilot, waves it in front of Lois and smiles, "Can you get us to the airport?"
ED: "You little devil."
AM: "It's a shame too. He was pretty charming. I was tempted to give him my real number. Now let's get out of here before they send re-enforcements."
ED: Lex's office. Hope is there.
AM: "They've fallen for the bait but there's a concern."
ED: Hope is calm, "We've planned for this, sir. The Green Arrow's mercenaries will be defeated."
AM: "The data we left for them has been accessed from two separate locations. I'm not convinced the Green Arrow is behind both breeches."
ED: "You think it's the Sullivan woman?"
AM: "No. She's not this sloppy. It's someone else."
ED: "What do you want me to do?"
AM: "A third party could introduce an unacceptable level of uncertainty. I want you to oversee Green Arrow's defeat personally."
ED: "My pleasure, sir." Hope moves to exit.
AM: "And Hope."
ED: She turns, "Yes sir."
AM: "I want him and his minions taken alive."
ED: "Sir?"
AM: "After what they've put us through, death is too easy. Besides once they're dead their potential value as test subjects is spoiled."
ED: Hope smiles, "Understood."
AM: "This time I win."
ED: LuthorCorp jet. Zinda is piloting. Lois is zipping up a black jump suit. "Is there anything you can't flirt your way into?"
AM: "The smarter the person the less effective it gets."
ED: "And then there's the women, I suppose."
AM: "Like I said..."
ED: Lois chuckles and sits down in the co-pilot's chair.
AM: "How does it fit?"
ED: "Honestly? It's a little tight in the bust."
AM: Zinda glances away from the controls, "Silly girl, it's not supposed to be zipped all the way up."
ED: "Oh." Lois hesitantly pulls the zipper back down, exposing a hint of cleavage.
MR: Since when is Lois modest?
AoT: Ever jumped out of an airplane topless, Michael?
MR: She wouldn't be topless...
AoT: Let me tell you , it's not a fun as it sounds!
KK: Annette?!?
ED: Besides, it's not about being modest. It's about being appropriate!
AM: Like answering the door naked is appropriate!
ED: No. That's just stupid.
AM: [smirks at ED]
ED: Oh, yeah. Um... Can we just get on with the script?
AM: Whatever you say, "Now that's better, isn't it?"
ED: Unconvinced, "Depends on your point of view."
AM: "And you wonder why your social life sucks."
MR: She tried opening doors naked...
JG: Dressing like a stripper...
KK: And jogging through town practically naked...
MR: ... and that didn't seem to help.
ED: You all can just bite me, OK? "We're going to be knocking heads together down there, not trolling for men!"
AM: "You might be surprised the sort of advantages you can squeeze out a single moment of distraction, Lois."
MR: Squeeze being the operative word.
ED: Lois smiles sheepishly a lowers the zipper a couple more inches.
AM: Zinda smiles back, "Now you're talking."
ED: Lois glaces at her chest, "Yeah, I'm just not sure I like what I'm saying."
MR: Is is complete out of character bullshit. The real Lois would have that thing zipped all the way down.
AoT: Wait. Is this the real Lois? What if she was replaced by an evil clone?
KK: An evil clone that actually likes journalism.
TW: And Clark.
MR: And isn't nearly as annoying.
AM: No, she's still just as annoying.
ED: Shut up, all of you!
AM: Zinda turns back to the controls and smiles to herself. The radar beeps.
ED: "We've got company."
AM: The island is visible in the distance. "Good thing we're almost there. Is that... smoke?"
ED: "Could it be industrial?"
AM: "Not if the blue prints are correct. Someone started the party without us."
ED: "Green Arrow."
AM: "Is that good or bad?"
ED: "Depends on your point of view."
AM: On the island Oliver shoots arrow after arrow, "It would be really nice to have that security parameter down about now."
ED: Cut to Cyborg pounding away at some freaks, "I heard you the last time!" One of the freaks goes down. "Almost there."
AM: Oliver, "That's what you said last time." Five huge freaks appear over a ridge.
ED: And this is where we intersect with the teaser.
AM: Oliver shoots an arrow. One of the freaks catches it and breaks it in his hand. "Great. Watchtower! I need backup and I need backup now! Who's available?"
ED: Clark zips in and takes one of the freaks out with punch from behind. "I am."
AM: "Glad you could make it." Oliver shoots an arrow at a freak sneaking up on Clark. The arrow hits the distracted freak taking him down.
ED: "I can't believe you started without me!"
AM: "I can't believe you went to Lex!"
ED: "Everyone deserves a second...."
AM: In Clark's face, "The next time you think about giving Lex Luthor another chance... don't!"
ED: They stare each other down.
AM: It's the gayest look of the episode.
continued...
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