7.03 United by MR and AoT (Part I)

The first true test of Chloe's new powers are put to the test when reviving a catatonic Lex is her and Clark's only hope of defeating a level 33.1 "super" freak. Lionel has an enticing offer for Martha.

As retold by RepairmanBob


MR: Ok, let’s get to work. Annette and I put a lot of work into this script and -
AoT: (walks in talking on cell phone) Well of course I’m glad to see you, honey!
TW: Annette?
MR: Ignore her. We have a lot to cover folks. We start with –
AoT: (sits down, still on cell phone) Right now? I’m at an episode reading, dear. I really can’t leave.
KK: Who is she talking to?
MR: Her hairdresser.
AM: I don’t call my hairdresser honey and dear.
KK: (smirk )That explains your hair and makeup.
AM: Hey! I like my hair!
KK: You would. Is Chloe going to start sewing too?
AM: (Stands up) I have had about enough crap from you, Kristin! I have apologized and apologized for bringing Lana back!
KK: I don’t care! Your apologies are as fake as your dye job!
AM: (Stands up) Screw you and your shiny hair!
KK: (Stands up) Bring it bitch!
JG: (Pulls out bag of popcorn) Whoo!
(TW and MR wrestle their castmates away from each other while AoT continues to talk on the phone.)
AoT: What am I wearing? Right now?
MR: Can we please get started?
TW: Yes, please.
AoT: (Hangs up phone) I have to go.
TW: What?
AoT: (Stands up) My husband came into town unexpectedly. We are going out to dinner and a show.
TW: But we have a script reading!
AoT: (Walks towards door) Michael, you got those Martha scenes we talked about?
MR: Yes.
AoT: Then I am done. Night folks!
TW (Stands up, blocks the door) Annette, we have work to do. You can see your husband when –
(AoT grabs TW by the neck, lifts him in air and choke-slams him to the ground)
MR: Have fun! Tell Michael we all said hello!
(AoT leaves. MR pulls out his cell phone)
MR: Hey, Mike. Yeah, she just took off. No, thank you for coming up here. Have a blast. (Hangs up) So, back to work.
JG: Did you just –
MR: Yes, I did.
JG: Well played, Michael.
MR: Anyway, here is the script. We start with –
AM: Wait, you wrote this on your own? No way, this breaks the rules. If Michael gets to write his own script, I want to write my next script on my own too.
KK: You already wrote your own damn script! It was the first episode, and you brought Lana back to life!
JG: So no solo scripts?
AM: Are you against it just because I do want to do it?
KK: Pretty much.
MR: Enough! Annette and I wrote the script together! But if it will shut all of you goddamn whiners up, you can all have a veto!
JG+TW+KK+AM: What?
MR: You can each veto one thing in the script. No vote, not super-majority - just throw one thing out. Now, can we just get started?
TW: I am suddenly afraid.

MR: Lana –
KK: Veto.
MR: Oh, come on.
KK: You said I could veto anything. Fine. I want no Lana in the episode. So, veto.
MR: Alright, but you have to help me read the script.
KK: Sure, if it means no Lana in the episode.
AM: (Laughs)
KK: Got something to say?
AM: Look at the script, genius.
KK: Hey, Lana is nowhere on this page!
MR: Or anywhere else in the script. One down, three to go. Chloe is in a padded cell with a large man. Long shaggy hair, muscular - looks like a beast. She starts to read off his rap sheet – Victor Creed was a small-time criminal, with a record petty crimes like assault and bar fights. Suddenly, three years ago, he moved into arson, insurance fraud and extortion.
KK: (grumbling) “Then you got greedy. An arson fire killed a family of four. You were seen walking out of the fire uninjured. A head-on collision killed a city councilman. You walked away uninjured.
MR: “Just lucky, I guess.”

MR: Lionel and Martha in Washington. Martha is talking to some of the senators she met last week. Lionel is on the cell phone. “Yes, I will be happy to come to the orphanage.”
JG: No way, Michael. I am not giving up my veto that easily.
MR: Whatever you say, John. We cut to an orphanage full of happy, smiling children. Lionel is passing out stuffed animals.
JG: Evil stuff animals?
KK: Nope, regular ones.
JG: (Growls)
MR: The orphans sit with Lionel under an apple tree, and he reads to them.
JG: The Arts of War? The Prince?
MR: The Cat in the Hat.
TW+AM: (Hysterical laughter)
JG: Fine! Goddamnit, I use my veto! Just end this madness, or so help me I will -
MR: Read more with orphans?
JG: (mutters under breath about a dart gun and a dark alley)
MR: Lionel watches Martha, and speaks into a cell phone. “Time is limited. I need that information, and I need it now. I do not care what you have to do, just make it happen.”
KK: Cut to a doctor in a lab, who answers “Yes, sir.”

MR: Chloe and Victor.
KK: “You were inflected with meteor rocks, Mr. Creed. They allowed you to heal any wound, but corrupted your mind and turned you into a killer.”
MR: “Prove it, Blondie?”
AM: Blondie?
MR: Victor rushes Chloe and grabs her by the neck. "I want to hear you scream, little girl." Chloe looks surprised, and Victor lifts her into the air by her throat.
KK: I love this episode already. Can we make Victor a regular who chokes Chloe every week?
AM: Bullshit! Chloe would -
KK: Use her power? She grabs one of Victor's arms, but nothing happens. Chloe's face turns red, and she looks scared. (Starts to write a note) “Find recurring role for Victor.”
AM: And they she would -
MR: Use her tazer? She pulls it out and zaps Victor.
JG: I love tazers.
MR: We see electrical shocks, and he just smiles at her. "That tickles." He leans in close for a kiss.
AM: So Chloe gets sexually assaulted in the teaser?
KK: With Jimmy out of the picture, I thought Chloe would like some male attention.
TW: Go watch Hypno again, then we can talk about characters being sexually assaulted.
MR: Victor slaps away the tazer. He gets inches from Chloe's face.
KK: Chloe's expression turns from fear to anger, and she grabs Victor's arm with both hands. Nothing happens. Cut to Chloe PoV, as the screen fades to black.
AM: You are going to kill Chloe? In the third episode?
KK: No fair! I want to die in the third episode!
JG: No, Lionel should die in the third episode!
MR: No one dies in the third episode!
TW: Michael, don’t lie.
MR: Alright, no regular cast members die in the third episode.
AM: Yeah!
KK+JG: Ah, crap.

Continued...