7.04 Embedded by AM & ED (Part II)

JG: I knew it!
AoT: Already?
JG: You ran it into the ground, didn't you? That was my ticket out of here and...
ED: John, they never aired an episode. Nobody ran it into the ground.
JG: The hell! You did this on purpose, didn't you? Just to spite me!
ED: Why would I come back on purpose?
JG: Just to spite me!
AoT: I thought you loved it here.
ED: I did... but the Father Knows Best set was just so amazing.
JG: You're just rubbing it in now.
AM: You know what? I've heard enough about how amazing Father Knows Best was. Let's just get on with it, OK?
ED: I thought you'd be happy Allison. I did everything you suggested and it all worked out just like you said it would.
AM: Let's talk about that later, OK?
AoT: You told Erica to leave?
AM: It's just water under the bridge...
ED: Allison is the best! I was having all this trouble with Al and Miles and she showed me just how to handle it!
JG: [To AM] You did, did you?
ED: Really Allison, thanks!
AM: What exactly did Al & Miles promise you?
ED: Only the best arc EVAH!
KK: I knew I'd like the new addition.
ED: Oh, Kristen, I hear they didn't kill Lana after all? Isn't that great? I'm so glad we'll be working together again!
KK: Now you've done it. Don't be surprised if I screw you over later, Erica.
ED: [To TW] What's with her?
TW: She wanted Lana dead.
ED: So why did you guys bring her back to life?
KK: Ask Allison.
AM: Is was the only way to save the show.
ED: Now where have I heard that before? Oh, right. [Looks at AM] Just after you screwed us all with your Dallas maneuver.
KK: Don't worry. She's going to pay. Boy, is she going to pay.
ED: Wow. The claws really came out while I was gone.
TW: You could say that.
AM: Can we continue?
ED: Sure! Come back from credits with... Chloe and Clark arguing.
MR: [to AM] Weren't you co-author on this?
ED: Since I missed the first three episodes Al & Miles gave me full editorial control for this one. Aren't they sweet?
KK: Besides, Allison practically wrote the first episode herself.
AM: Not by choice. You didn't care.
KK: I told you there was only one thing I cared about. And somehow that one thing didn't seem to work out.
AoT: [to ED] Lana didn't stay dead.
ED: I got that much. I'm not a complete idiot.
KK: Can you add a scene where Lana dies?
ED: Actually that was their only stipulation. Lana can't die.
KK: Bastards!
ED: Chloe is begging Clark to let her join the 33.1 raid.
AM: She's not begging.
ED: OK, she's nagging.
AM: She's not...
ED: But Clark draws the line. It's too dangerous.
AM: Chloe is on the verge of telling him about her healing ability but cuts herself short. She explains she's sick of sitting on all this 33.1 information and hardly being able to report on any of it.
ED: Clark tells her reporting on it is pointless. Lex would have it covered up by the time the story hit the streets. They can accomplish more when Lex isn't aware about how much they know.
AM: Chloe posits the real reason Clark doesn't want it to hit the papers is he's secretly ashamed of the methods he's using to take out 33.1. Wouldn't exposing it and forcing Lex to shut it down be better endangering lives and destroying property?
ED: Clark counters Lex wouldn't just shut things down and Chloe knows it. The league has to shut it down for him. Clark super speeds off leaving an extremely pissed Chloe behind.
AM: She's not extremely pissed.
ED: OK, she's happy to sit there and do nothing.
AM: She's mildly pissed.
ED: Whatever.
MR: What, no Sex?
ED: What? In a Clark and Chloe scene?
MR: Yeah, it's perfect!
AM: No, it's not perfect. As far as I'm concerned there won't be any Sex scenes the entire episode.
ED: Don't worry, there aren't going to be any sex scenes.
MR: None at all?
ED: No.
MR: Come on, this scene is begging for a little Sex!
ED: At the Planet? What are they going to do, throw it down right there on her desk?
MR: That's not what I'm talking about...
TW: Michael re-introduced Sex and Kahloe last episode.
ED: He didn't.
AM: He did.
KK: And Chloe has super powers.
ED: Get out! Seriously?
TW: Yep.
ED: [Looks to AM for confirmation]
AM: It's true.
ED: Get out! How the hell did they trick you into that one, Allison?
AM: [irritated] Actually, it was my idea.
ED: Oh.
AM: "Oh" what?
ED: Nothing.
AM: No. "Oh" what?
ED: It's just that I'm gone, what? Three episodes and you guys have already fucked up the entire show.
AM: We have not!
ED: I mean what's next? Lionel is all goody two shoes and we find out he's faked Lana's death?
JG: [Sadly puts his head in his hands.]
ED: You're kidding me.
[Silence]
ED: John, I'm so sorry.
JG: This is all your fault Durance!
MR: [Clears throat] So are we going to have Sex or not?
AoT: I think we should. This is a perfect time for Sex.
TW: [Spits out his coffee]
ED: It's OK, Tom. [Patting TW on the back] No.
MR: No?
ED: Sorry, I never really cared much for Sex.
TW: [Snickers. ED stops patting TW on the back punches him in the shoulder.]
MR: Come on, Erica. Everybody likes Sex!
AM: Not me.
TW: [Snickers]
AM: Shut up. What are you, twelve?
MR: Just this one time!
ED: Sorry, no Sex for you Rosenbaum! If I give in now you'll expect Sex all the time and...
JG: And he won't respect you!
MR: Stay out of this, John! I'll still respect you, Erica! Come on. Please? Annette let me have Sex and I still respect her!
TW: Oh, God, my ears are burning!
AM: You are so immature, all of you!
ED: Just because Annette let you have Sex in exchange for more screen time...
TW: My ears!
ED: ...doesn't mean that I'm that easy.
TW: I think I'm going to throw up!
AoT: I don't see why you're making it such a big deal, Tom. Sex was a small price to pay for more screen time.
TW: Annette...
AoT: Besides, I would have let Michael have Sex anyway.
TW: Annette!
AoT: I like Sex.
TW: [Gasps and holds his chest]
AoT: And if Michael wants more Sex the next time I'm in a position to help I'll do everything thing I can to oblige.
TW: [Begins hyperventilating]
AM: [Hands TW a paper bag to breathe into] Can we move on before we reduce Tom to a blubbering idiot?
MR: I still think...
AM: You should shut up.
MR: ...we should all think about...
KK: [checking her watch] Hmm... at this rate I might miss lunch. And if I miss lunch...
MR: ...going to the next scene.

AM: Zinda Blake, a comely blonde...
KK: That's to distinguish her from Chloe.
AM: Shut up. Slides an ID badge across a security door and walks in. "I never figured you for a grave robber."
ED: I think we might cast Kristen Bell.
AM: We will not!
ED: Al and Miles say different.
AM: Al and Miles can bite me.
ED: Lois follows, "Her ID wasn't in her grave. Besides, seeing as how all tracks lead to Lex I don't think she'd mind." They sneak along a hallway periodically avoiding security cameras.
AM: "You sure Lex is the guy who played Dr. Frankenstein on Wes?"
ED: "Absolutely. And a thousand others still at the bottom of Reeves dam."
AM: "I always wondered, Lois. Did you and Wes ever..."
ED: Referring to a building layout, "We can talk about that later, Zinda. Right now we have a computer system to crack. Besides, you think I would have let you steal Wes away from me if we had?"
AM: Zinda tries Lana's ID on another door, "As if you had a choice."
MR: Wait! This Zinda girl was in love with Wes too?

continued...