7.05 Threats by MR & ED (Part III)

as retold by RepairmanBob

MR: The apartment. Chloe is in the shower, Sex is glaring at an illusion of Clark.
AM: With suppressed lust?
KK: Or not-so-suppressed lust?
MR: More like loathing. “She deserves better than you, a small-minded hypocrite who is happy to hide on the farm, pining and brooding while the world burns." Sex waves his arm, and a smiling Jimmy illusion appears. "Or a mediocre little boy, who drags her down while demanding constant validation and praise. Pathetic.” He makes a gesture, and Clark and Jimmy are wearing sun dresses.
TW: Why is Clark is a dress?
MR: Because sailor suits is too predictable. “She deserves someone worthy of her. Who would value and respect her.”
AM: This is a little creepy.
MR: Sex walks closer to the Clark illusion.
JG: And kisses it?
MR: “She deserves greatness. She deserves him. And I will help her see that.”

MR: Downtown Metropolis, outside the Daily Planet. Clark runs into scene, holding a folder in his hand. He glances at it – LuthorCorp Experimenting on Meta-Humans! Is Lex Luthor Building A Super Army? By Chloe Sullivan.
ED: A LuthorCorp tractor trailer pulls into the street in front of Clark. Suddenly, a group of people in black outfits appear. Three of them pull out ray guns, and shoot out the tires of the tractor trailer.
MR: The truck jack-knifes and heads towards the crowds on the sidewalk. Clark rushes out, and stops the truck. He runs towards one the men in black
AM: And they zap him with a mind-wipe ray?
JG: I think that has happened to the characters on a regular basis already.
KK: I wish it happened to me last season.
AM: So does most of the audience.
KK: God help me, I actually agree with Allison.
MR: One of the men shoot Clark. He is knocked ten feet in the air, and into the wall of a nearby building.
ED: A woman pulls out a lightsaber –
JG: Someone call Lucas and apologize.
ED: Ok, an energy whip, and slices through the side of the truck. Two men rush in, and carry out massive high-tech devices.
MR: Cut to Clark, who looks dazed. The file with Chloe’s article has been destroyed.

MR: Chloe’s desk at the Daily Planet. Jimmy is wishing her luck about going directly to Kahn and asking for the City Desk job. “She will love it! If there is one thing Kahn respects, it is people who take charge and go for what they want. Goodbye basement, hello Tiffany Lamps!”
ED: “Thanks, Jimmy.”
JG: I am getting a little nauseous.
MR: “You can do I, Bright Eyes. Go knock her out!”
JG: That did it. Now I do feel ill.
AM: I don’t see – (Looks at AoT), never mind.
AoT: (slight smile)
ED: Chloe walks away, looking around for Clark. She tries to call him on her cell phone – no pick up. “Clark Kent, I am so going to kick your ass if you screw this up.” She checks her back-up article – Crime Wave in Small American Town – What is the Secret Behind Smallville’s Big City Murder Rate? By Chloe Sullivan
MR: Cut to Chloe in front of Kahn’s door. Her secretary tells Chloe Kahn is in a meeting. Chloe pushes past her, saying she only needs a minute. Chloe opens the door. The office has two chairs with high backs facing a desk. A man is standing next to the chair on the left, shouting at Kahn. “And I do not care what you say! I just earned another Pulitzer, and the last thing I want is a rookie with more breasts than brains following me around!”
ED: Kahn is also standing. “You listen to me, Bittleman. As long as you work at the Daily Planet, you do as I say. And I say you will be training the rookie! If you don’t like it, you can –"
MR: “Take the job the Gotham Times has offered me for twice the salary and more vacation days? Or the position at the Star City Tribune, where the publishers are throwing in a three book deal? The only reason I even bother staying in this town is that my apartment is rent controlled, I have free season tickets to the Sharks, and –“
ED: “And any other editor would have thrown you ass to the curb years ago! Get out! I will bring her by later.”
MR: Bittleman walks out, glancing at Chloe as he leaves. Chloe looks overjoyed. She starts to walk in. “Ms. Kahn? If you have a second –“
ED: “Sullivan! What are you doing here? Never mind, I was going to keep it a secret, but I thought you should be the first to hear about it. Say hello to out newest reporter, Lois Lane.” Lois stands up from the chair on the right and smiles. “Hi Chloe!”
TW: What!
JG: What!
KK: Ha!
AM: What… how…
MR: (Looking slightly uncomfortable) Network mandate. We will explain more in a minute.
ED: It will be great Allison! We will get to film lots more scenes to together on the Daily Planet set!
AM: (slightly dazed) Yes. Great.

MR: Lex and Hope are in a lab with Dr. Richards, talking about the mysterious test from earlier.
ED: Dr, Richards says, “The results have been extremely positive. We had to use most of the sample, but we have developed a formula that exceeds out expectations.”
JG: So what is Lex building now? More exploding robots? Death rays?
AoT: I say nipple clamps,
TW: Uggh!
AM: Makes sense to me. Green K powered nipple clamps.
MR: Lex replies “And is it stable?”
KK: Like Lex would complain about an unstable nipple clamp. Clark would probably prefer them that way.
ED: “Based on early tests, stable and non-toxic to the host.”
MR: “How soon can we begin production?”
JG: As Jonathan might say, those nipple clamps are not going to manufacture themselves.
ED: “With the formula completed, we can begin mass production within a month. We need to do more testing, of course, to ensure safety, but -“
MR: Lex smiles. “Obtaining test subjects will not be an issue, Dr. Richards.”
KK: Because Lex and Clark will be personally testing each and every one.
JG: Expect for the ones Martha and Lionel use. The Magnificent Line – for her pleasure.
TW: I hate you all.

MR: Kahn’s office. Chloe and Lois are standing facing each other. Chloe looks shocked and a little betrayed. (Looks at AM) Just like that, Allison.
AM: (still looks shocked) I am not acting, Michael.
MR: (Uncomfortable laugh) Ok, then. Chloe says “Lois, how could you do this? We all thought you were dead! I went to your funeral! You dad, my dad, your friends –“
ED: “I am sorry, Chloe, but it was necessary. It was the only way to take down Lex.”
MR: Chloe shouts “You could have told me! You could have let me know! Do you know how it felt to visit your grave?”
ED: Lois is firm but calm. “The same way it felt to visit yours three years ago, I expect. I did what I had to do to stop Lex Luthor. I am sorry, but that was the most important thing. I wanted to let you know, Chloe, but taking down Lex is what mattered.”
MR: Kahn cuts in. “You could learn a thing or two from your cousin, Sullivan. She did what she had to do to get the story.” Kahn hold up a file. “Lane just gave me an article that ties Lex Luthor to illegal kidnapping, experimentations, and crimes against humanity. This, what was it called?”
ED: Chloe and Lois both say at the same time “Level 33.1”
MR: “Yes, Level 33.1, is huge. The biggest thing we have published since Petty White got an exclusive interview with Lex Luthor when his bastard of a father was arrested. Lane earned the City Desk spot with one article.”
ED: Chloe whispers “Level 33.1 was my story."
TW: (To MR) Was this Kristin’s idea?
MR: (To TW) No, the network demanded Lois get in at the Daily Planet. Erica wanted the City Desk.
TW: (To MR) Why isn’t Allison saying anything?
MR: (To TW) Just give it a few minutes. It gets worse.

continued...